Are you afraid to date? If so, why?
- Thread starter zeroturbulence
- Start date
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T
His best friend Jay goes to the church my dads the pastor of, i had met him before like once or twice... aaanyways i just so happened to be stratigically positioned right next to him in the church service 
Then WAM BAM THANK YOU MA'AM i worked my magic and there you go
Then WAM BAM THANK YOU MA'AM i worked my magic and there you go
I don't mind falling in love but, to date is to be interviewed and to be measured. I don't like the feeling of being judged, even if its in my best interest to sit through it.
I prefer being adventurous and finding people who want to do that with me, then eventually falling in love with them. Dating feels synthetic and unnatural.
I prefer being adventurous and finding people who want to do that with me, then eventually falling in love with them. Dating feels synthetic and unnatural.
H
Yes. I was never the one to just date in high school and turned guys down. I was hurt once when I was 20 by the only guy I dated and we talked of being together for a long time. A year later, someone who I turned down 3 years earlier and we went our separate ways came back into my life and asked me out again 6 months later, but he is not a Christian so we both made the decision to simply remain as friends. I am afraid dating will only hurt me again. Out of stubbornness, fear, and priorities I avoid guys who ask me out like the plague! I will continue to focus on and use the gifts God has given me, and maybe one day I will not have fear.
His name is David
He is 5'11
Blonde hair blue eyes
Is an Electronics Tech in the navy
He is 30 years old
He's from North Carolina
He is a charasmatic baptist
He loves long walks on the beach and reading romance novels.... (NOT)
is there anything else you wanna know
He is 5'11
Blonde hair blue eyes
Is an Electronics Tech in the navy
He is 30 years old
He's from North Carolina
He is a charasmatic baptist
He loves long walks on the beach and reading romance novels....
(NOT)is there anything else you wanna know
Well they say when ya marry someone, ya marry the family too. Same goes with dating. If you date someone, eventually they are going to meet a few members of your family. Then they start judging not only your personal character but also your familys character. My family isn't exactly what I would call... functional (more along the lines of borderline "have their own wing in a local mental institution" kind of thing). So, I haven't dated in many years because once they get a glimpse of how awful my family is, they turn and run for the hills. Plus, being single with a child of your own does put a damper on things as well especially since you had that child out of wedlock. They tend to judge you based on your past experiences and it really annoys me because, what's done is done and what's past is exactly that.... IN THE PAST. One can't turn back time and redo all the mistakes they have made in their lives. So a man has to understand that if they get me, they get my daughter as well and they can't CAN'T treat me any differently because of what I have done in the past. They have to be like Jesus and accept it and accept that I have changed and become a new person in Christ. If a man can't understand that, then he's not worth it.
T
Totally relate to this sentiment, but opposite sex.
Sometimes, it seems like guys my age are looking for (in the following order):
Sorry, I'm pretty outspoken and well-read. I try not to be rude, but I'm not genteel, however hard I try. One of my personal mottos is "It's nice to be nice," and another is, "What would Jesus say about what I'm doing?" But I don't always live up to my goals. I'm healthy, but even if I lose the extra weight, I'll never be thin (trust me, it isn't worth it). And athletics? Forgeddaboutit. I'd rather curl up with a good book than spend my Saturday rock-wall-climbing or playing Tennis till the sun went down or kicking around a soccer ball.
I worry that, if I ever do find a guy who's looking for a gal like me, he'll not be the one God wants me with and I'll have to throw him back into the ocean with all the other fish.
I'm not scared of dating. I think, at this point, I'm just slightly jaded.
Sometimes, it seems like guys my age are looking for (in the following order):
- Athletic, thin or (at most) healthy, no overweight girls need apply,
- Not too tall, but not too short,
- Smart enough to follow a recipe, but not smarter than her man,
- Social graces of a lady, culinary skills of a chef, hands of a masseuse
Sorry, I'm pretty outspoken and well-read. I try not to be rude, but I'm not genteel, however hard I try. One of my personal mottos is "It's nice to be nice," and another is, "What would Jesus say about what I'm doing?" But I don't always live up to my goals. I'm healthy, but even if I lose the extra weight, I'll never be thin (trust me, it isn't worth it). And athletics? Forgeddaboutit. I'd rather curl up with a good book than spend my Saturday rock-wall-climbing or playing Tennis till the sun went down or kicking around a soccer ball.
I worry that, if I ever do find a guy who's looking for a gal like me, he'll not be the one God wants me with and I'll have to throw him back into the ocean with all the other fish.
I'm not scared of dating. I think, at this point, I'm just slightly jaded.
T
I want you to know something.
I have a friend named Brian. He is one of the best, most Christian, most loving men I have ever known. He's the kind of guy you talk to and think, "Oh, so THAT'S how Christianity is supposed to be done!!!" A few years ago, he married a woman who had a child out of wedlock before she came to the Lord. God brought them both together and sent them out to a city that is pretty Godless. He is a perfect witness for that place.
He and his wife are happily married. The guy God would have for you wouldn't care if you have a child. He'd just care that you're his perfect match.
I have a friend named Brian. He is one of the best, most Christian, most loving men I have ever known. He's the kind of guy you talk to and think, "Oh, so THAT'S how Christianity is supposed to be done!!!" A few years ago, he married a woman who had a child out of wedlock before she came to the Lord. God brought them both together and sent them out to a city that is pretty Godless. He is a perfect witness for that place.
He and his wife are happily married. The guy God would have for you wouldn't care if you have a child. He'd just care that you're his perfect match.
N
Afraid to date... No. I have concerns. I just want all of my relationships to be pleasing to God, I want to be in relationships where I grow spiritually. It's not because I'm a holy roller but because I know there is no satisfaction in counterfeit relationships. You might say I've learned a lot of lessons the hard way.
S
Yup. I'm terrified. I came up with a list of 13 things that are giving me the jitters:
1) physical safety factor/creep factor
2) rejection factor
3) difficulty knowing his expectations--will I have to put my foot down after he's already trying something uncool...?
4) difficulty knowing how to reject him kindly if we're just not quite right
5) Fear of falling for someone God doesn't have in mind for me.
6) Fear of God saying "NO" altogether and not knowing if God is telling me that right now. fear that I'm forcing the issue)
7) Fear that he won't love my child.
8) Fear that I'll fall for someone, only to find out that they weren't honest, or that they are incapable of loving me back or that they won't have a couple of major character qualities that I consider mandatory.
9) Fear that they will want sex before I'm ready or that I will "shoot myself in the foot"
10) Fear that I will try to change them (which of course will be impossible)
11) Fear that I will make the same mistakes over again and fail (again)
12) Fear that I'll be too independent
13) Fear that I won't have the patience to include someone again (I'm becoming more set in my ways...)
Okay, there's my laundry list--go ahead and tear it apart....
1) physical safety factor/creep factor
2) rejection factor
3) difficulty knowing his expectations--will I have to put my foot down after he's already trying something uncool...?
4) difficulty knowing how to reject him kindly if we're just not quite right
5) Fear of falling for someone God doesn't have in mind for me.
6) Fear of God saying "NO" altogether and not knowing if God is telling me that right now. fear that I'm forcing the issue)
7) Fear that he won't love my child.
8) Fear that I'll fall for someone, only to find out that they weren't honest, or that they are incapable of loving me back or that they won't have a couple of major character qualities that I consider mandatory.
9) Fear that they will want sex before I'm ready or that I will "shoot myself in the foot"
10) Fear that I will try to change them (which of course will be impossible)
11) Fear that I will make the same mistakes over again and fail (again)
12) Fear that I'll be too independent
13) Fear that I won't have the patience to include someone again (I'm becoming more set in my ways...)
Okay, there's my laundry list--go ahead and tear it apart....