Unequal house chores

[tstumf]

I prayed about your situation this morning
I went to visit the library and found this book

I wasnt really looking but it caught my eye. Its called

Having a Martha Home the Mary Way
31 days to a clean

Thankyou for your prayers and your time. I really appreciate it and I will absolutely check this book out. We got rain here USA (Nebraska)as well tonight . I Took the family away from home for a few hours today to a good old American rodeo and it rained during the show. The cold steady rain Was rather refreshing compared to 107F heat we had on Wednesday.

 

[tstumf]

So curious observation. She invited some ladies over for some crafts tonight. Got home on my lunch to find a clean home. She evidently has the energy to clean when she wishes to clean. I was sure to genuinely compliment her on her work but What should I make of this?

 

[Lanolin]

So curious observation. She invited some ladies over for some crafts tonight. Got home on my lunch to find a clean home. She evidently has the energy to clean when she wishes to clean. I was sure to genuinely compliment her on her work but What should I make of this?

the ladies helped clean lol

No its just make sure she invites them over once a week and then you will have a clean home, Problem solved.

You know that boys can be so mucky. Im thinking if you had daughters it might be different!

Praise the Lord. whatver it takes man.

 

[Lanolin]

I once stayed over at a friends for a week looking after her daughter while she went away. Her kitchen was such a mess that we couldnt find any utensils when I wanted to cook something. I ended up spending most of the time cleaning and tidying up her kitchen. I think she just presumed we would go out to eat all the time.

On the other hand, her bedroom was pretty clean. When she got back, her cupboards were reorganised, and we had tried (and failed) to scrub the oven sheets.

 

[YankeeGalDownUnder1964]

my question is she a Christian ?
if so does she realize that she is to be in submission to her husband ?
om not talking a stay at home slave // but to be helpful in helping you with the kids and house
im sorry but mate God Created man in His image , Adam came first then eve from his side
there is way too much push for women to be SUPER WOMAN ! working , and the feminism is rampant here in Australia
its all back wards !
This is not the Love of God , she is in rebellion to help you out its self entitlement and that is not Christian
Jesus said Husband love your wives as Jesus loved the church and gave HIS life for her
then is say Wives submit unto your husband for he is HEAD of the Household
Christian woman are to love and also be fair to their hubbys
its in the BIBLE

has nothing to do with her career mate ! We are called to be Woman that love our husbands and
to be a cheerful giver in all things

how do i know this
as a woman my choice was to stay retired for the time being so my hubby could work
i am a proud stay at home retired wife , and my life is not boring , i cant work cause i have medical issues
but thats ok , my job is to keep the house clean , and take care of my husband , i prepare home cooked meals
and i love staying home

Feminism is trying to destroy the fabric of what marriage is theses days
jus look at the parliment its a disaster , almost like you have to bow to the Amazon woman and dont you dare say anything that offends them ,

its important your wife sees he is to be FAIR to you as well
its not love when only one does all the work and the other wont lend a hand

God bless you mate
that a rare find to have a male stay at home and allow wife to get a carrer
but this should not be all about HER !
but both of you

look up a dvd laugh your way to a better marriage
mark gongore it might help

 

[tstumf]

my question is she a Christian ?
if so does she realize that she is to be in submission to her husband ?
om not talking a stay at home slave // but to be helpful in helping you with the kids and house
im sorry but mate God Created man in His image , Adam came first then eve from his side
there is way too much push for women to be SUPER WOMAN ! working , and the feminism is rampant here in Australia
its all back wards !
This is not the Love of God , she is in rebellion to help you out its self entitlement and that is not Christian
Jesus said Husband love your wives as Jesus loved the church and gave HIS life for her
then is say Wives submit unto your husband for he is HEAD of the Household
Christian woman are to love and also be fair to their hubbys
its in the BIBLE

has nothing to do with her career mate ! We are called to be Woman that love our husbands and
to be a cheerful giver in all things

how do i know this
as a woman my choice was to stay retired for the time being so my hubby could work
i am a proud stay at home retired wife , and my life is not boring , i cant work cause i have medical issues
but thats ok , my job is to keep the house clean , and take care of my husband , i prepare home cooked meals
and i love staying home

Feminism is trying to destroy the fabric of what marriage is theses days
jus look at the parliment its a disaster , almost like you have to bow to the Amazon woman and dont you dare say anything that offends them ,

its important your wife sees he is to be FAIR to you as well
its not love when only one does all the work and the other wont lend a hand

God bless you mate
that a rare find to have a male stay at home and allow wife to get a carrer
but this should not be all about HER !
but both of you

look up a dvd laugh your way to a better marriage
mark gongore it might help

Thankyou for your advice and wisdom. I’m an American living in the State of Nebraska. There are weeks lately that I honestly feel like a bachelor cleaning up after not just a 5 year old but an adult 5 year old as well. Then there are days I feel a like stranger in my own home completely . It hurts, hurts a lot. But yet I dare not let on about it cause the instant I reveal these emotions all hades breaks loose and all peace is lost in the home for who knows how long. No matter what, the problem always points back to me or decisions I’ve made. Granted Some weeks are better than others. Sometimes she will put in some kind of effort to clean and thank me with her words but I’ve observed over the years her actions don’t reflect her appreciation of it. I get a glimmer of hope just for it to fall back into the same thing. I’ve largely given this situation to God in the better interest of resolving a bigger issue surfacing in my marriage. Please continue to pray for us.

 

[tstumf]

look up a dvd laugh your way to a better marriage
mark gongore it might help[/QUOTE]

And Thankyou for this as well. 😄

 

[Lanolin]

I started reading the Mary Martha book.

If your wife is not a christian she might not get all the biblical references...But if she is (I cant temember if you said she was saved and born again or not) then it is very practical and helpful.

The thing is housewife does not automatically mean 'housemaid'. You might have to surrender and employ someone, otherwise you can just pay your wife to clean.
Apparently there are facebook support groups for wives to get their housework cleaning and laundry done every morning. They have these challenges like can you get it done in 15 minutes?
and i supoose they have before and after photos as well. (that is, if she wants to. can lead a horse to water but cant make it drink)

You have to think creatively. If your five year old is on the floor a lot, attach sponges to his hands and feet and get him to mop the floor. Play games like tidy up time! and give him toy vacuum cleaners and brushes and dustpans to play with, and colourful cleaning cloths. Get the bubble mix out. Start em young.

 

[tstumf]

I started reading the Mary Martha book.

If your wife is not a christian she might not get all the biblical references...But if she is (I cant temember if you said she was saved and born again or not) then it is very practical and helpful.

The thing is housewife does not automatically mean 'housemaid'. You might have to surrender and employ someone, otherwise you can just pay your wife to clean.
Apparently there are facebook support groups for wives to get their housework cleaning and laundry done every morning. They have these challenges like can you get it done in 15 minutes?
and i supoose they have before and after photos as well. (that is, if she wants to. can lead a horse to water but cant make it drink)

You have to think creatively. If your five year old is on the floor a lot, attach sponges to his hands and feet and get him to mop the floor. Play games like tidy up time! and give him toy vacuum cleaners and brushes and dustpans to play with, and colourful cleaning cloths. Get the bubble mix out. Start em young.

Thankyou for your advice. Though my suggestion to hiring a house maid was met with an abrupt NO. I have our son started with the real vacuum. It’s a work in progress but he is learning and we’re getting there. He Still learning just because the vacuum can suck some things up doesn’t mean it should. We’re still learning what items need picked up before vacuuming rather than run them over and plug up the vacuum cause he learned that mom just runs over whatever is in the way with the vac that he can as well. Wife put sink cleaner in the sink and left the cleaner to sit in the sink without finishing, which is a start. I’m trying to be more appreciative of the house work I do see getting done to stay positive through this all. Not easy of course cause my brain wants to jump in a go back and finish for them but I’ve been there and nothing happens I’m just letting it go. So right now I have a plugged up vacuum and we have had a half clean sink in the kitchen with cleaner pooling near its drain for the last couple days. If she’s content with it. I guess I’m going to have to learn to be content with it as well and find joy in what is being done to help.

 

[Lanolin]

I had this robot vaccumm cleaner the classes can borrow for a week or two, its interesting some classes can figure out how to work it but others didnt and it was still sitting in the box.

Ive decided if they cannot figure out how to use it their classes will just stay dirty and lend it to someone else, I dont actually have time to come and teach them how to vaccum, thats the teachers job! I emailed them the manual and everything too.

 

[Treeboy]

Thankyou for your advice and wisdom. I’m an American living in the State of Nebraska. There are weeks lately that I honestly feel like a bachelor cleaning up after not just a 5 year old but an adult 5 year old as well. Then there are days I feel a like stranger in my own home completely . It hurts, hurts a lot. But yet I dare not let on about it cause the instant I reveal these emotions all hades breaks loose and all peace is lost in the home for who knows how long. No matter what, the problem always points back to me or decisions I’ve made. Granted Some weeks are better than others. Sometimes she will put in some kind of effort to clean and thank me with her words but I’ve observed over the years her actions don’t reflect her appreciation of it. I get a glimmer of hope just for it to fall back into the same thing. I’ve largely given this situation to God in the better interest of resolving a bigger issue surfacing in my marriage. Please continue to pray for us.

I was in a somewhat similar situation with ex wife. However we had an agreement i cook do the dirty hard or outside jobs take out trash mow gutters fix and wash vehicles. She did dishes clothes vacuumed and not much left after that. She would try to get me to do her jobs then if i did them ridicule me about invisible problems. She had a standard and it was best if she did these things because i couldnt meet the standard. I cant fold clothes at a department store level.

You cant force her to help you however you can - not support the other things she does to hide. Some women take college courses for decades. Difference between hard worker and workaholic is hiding from your family. What u need to see is shes not meeting your standard. Cleaning the house will not make your wife happy. However if you do it and dont say a word ever it will make u happier and give her a chance to turn around and have someone to come back to besides an argument.

I would b concerned with her distancing herself from family. Some not all of these things are like dealing with kids. If you organically start doing something they see you and want to help. I would take it over board because everything u do your giving her a chance to help so more opportunity. Where in nebraska?

 

[tstumf]

I was in a somewhat similar situation with ex wife. However we had an agreement i cook do the dirty hard or outside jobs take out trash mow gutters fix and wash vehicles. She did dishes clothes vacuumed and not much left after that. She would try to get me to do her jobs then if i did them ridicule me about invisible problems. She had a standard and it was best if she did these things because i couldnt meet the standard. I cant fold clothes at a department store level.

You cant force her to help you however you can - not support the other things she does to hide. Some women take college courses for decades. Difference between hard worker and workaholic is hiding from your family. What u need to see is shes not meeting your standard. Cleaning the house will not make your wife happy. However if you do it and dont say a word ever it will make u happier and give her a chance to turn around and have someone to come back to besides an argument.

I would b concerned with her distancing herself from family. Some not all of these things are like dealing with kids. If you organically start doing something they see you and want to help. I would take it over board because everything u do your giving her a chance to help so more opportunity. Where in nebraska?

Thankyou for your advice. I appreciate it. I’m kinda taking a step back from this situation at the moment to reassess it . We are as a family taking some vacation time away from home for a few days. I’m hopeful this will ease things a bit even if it’s temporary . With all due respect I’d like leave my location just as Nebraska for the moment for security sake.