So what is like dating someone who's not a Christian?
Last year, around this time, I went out with a woman who I thought was a Christian. She talked about being spiritual (red flag, looking back on it, today) but that was as far as I went before we called it off. Her attitude was different, but we still had fun together. Just because someone's not a Christian, doesn't mean you can't have fun with them. It was actually a good, but hard, learning experience. You begin to wonder why your parents, as you were growing up, tell you to date someone that is a Christian, then you go out with someone who's not, and you can see why. These non-Christians have quite a bit of baggage.
This woman I dated was molested as a child by her father. It had me her question why her mother still was a Christian, especially seeing how mistreated she was by her own husband. The family itself was, and still is, very broken. She started running around with the wrong crowd that were into spirituality, border-lining on witchcraft. She never became a witch herself, and not quite wiccan, but some of the stuff she's into have a witchy feel to them. She also had several bfs and been engaged 3 times. Cheated on almost all of them, because she was never told that it was wrong for ANYONE, especially for women, to do so. She had been in trouble with the law before, mainly DUIs in her twenties and still has a drinking problem apparently, according to her sister and brother-in-law.
In addition to all this:
-She still maintains a close relationship with her father, despite him not apologizing for what he did nor being regretful (and he, too, is not a Christian) with a mutual trust/hate relationship. There are days where she gets along with him and days she doesn't, all the while complaining about how terrible and horrible he is, even as she continues to do things with him (as he's a negative influencer in her life).
-Her oldest brother committed suicide earlier in the year, and she received the suicide note. She had it saved on her phone and I read it. Found out after the brother's suicide that he did the same thing their father did to her, except this was towards the brother's daughters. It brought up old memories and it made her go to a mental hospital for a week. Last I knew, she was seeing a psychiatrist and is on meds, but doesn't take them, according to the sister.
-Her first ex-fiance manipulated, lied to, physically abused, and controlled her (all confirmed by both her sister and brother-in-law). She both complained and held him up with high praise. Whenever she complained about him, it was always followed up by a compliment or two. In the end, she never got over him, even after, according to this woman, forced himself onto her. Our last time together, she had told me that her ex passed away. She revealed that she was STILL in contact with both him and the ex's wife. Despite telling me how horrible he was to her, as odd as it sounds, she still "loved" him (if you want to call it that).
A week after our last date, it was her late brother's birthday (the one who committed suicide and then I didn't hear from her for 2-3 weeks. I didn't know if she was going into a depression because of her brother not being there for his own birthday, but I found out later that she ghosted me. A day after I got back from my vacation, she was the one that called it off first. Her sister told me that I didn't do anything wrong and that the family really liked me. Looking back on it now and hearing and reading similar stories of guys going through the same thing, she more than likely called it off over her ex-fiance's passing, as if she was hoping to have him back and start over again, somehow. So it goes along with her never getting over him.
To answer the question I said in the beginning, it's tough dating a non-Christian, especially when they have so much baggage attached. I was an idiot, thinking I can try and have her see the light. Where, yes, you can lead by example, but, in the end, it's up to them if they want salvation or not. My advice is don't get caught up in trying to date someone who doesn't believe. In my case, I should have called it off sooner with that alone, but now I know to never do that again. It's stressful, it can put you in a depression, and it can begin to pull you away from church, which did happen to me to one degree. We had fun, but that was the only positive thing that came out of it. So, yeah, don't date anyone who hasn't given their life to Christ.
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Until he took a tire iron to the back of your head, that is...
