I know what I did was wrong, and I need prayer and support.

[Eagle05]

I am 15 years old, raised in a Christian home and surrounded by Christian friends. I became a born-again Christian at 13, raising my hand in front of everybody in the congregation and not hesitating to accept Jesus into my heart. I'm not a good Christian, I have my faults, but I do my best on staying pure.
Last year I was involved in the True Love Waits campaign, my mom being by my side. I truly meant what I said and I planned on sticking to that until marriage.
But I goofed up this year. I found a boyfriend, a boy who is also a Christian, a boy who I thought would wait just like myself. But he wasn't the Christian who I thought he was, and things happened. We broke up last month because I wasn't comfortable with what happened and I wasn't happy with myself with what I did. He also told me that I wasn't the first girl for him, and I think that only made it worse for me.
So now I'm here, just looking for prayer and support and for somebody to tell me that hey it's okay. I'm not telling anybody I know about what I did, and that includes my youth pastor, but I just want to tell other Christians what I did and I'm hoping that I can get some help out of it.
I'm not happy with myself is what it comes down to. I regret doing it, I regret allowing him to do it with me, I regret not waiting for marriage like I told myself I would. I am a bit of an emotional wreck, but I'm staying strong and doing what I can.

 

[EternalFire]

Thank you for taking one of the first key steps of repentance, that of confession of sin. I also see other key ingredients such as regret, remorse, and stopping the sin from recurring again.

While God forgives the truly repentant sinner, He doesn’t take away the consequences. The hard truth is that you will need to confess this sin to those over you in the Lord, first and foremost to your parents. Together y’all can decide if certain church elders need to be involved. The parents of the former boyfriend also need to be informed, and they, too, can decide matters concerning their son and the church leadership.

I’m not here to tell you that it’s okay, because it’s absolutely not. Your actions are evidence of a deeper problem. I see some blame in your post on the boyfriend, for example, but it is you who are accountable for your own actions. Resolve to not put yourself in this type of circumstance ever again.

As you work to clean up the wreckage of your sin, another key part of repentance, I point you to Elizabeth Eliott who talks of two rules her mom gave her regarding boys: (1) Never chase boys, and (2) Keep them at arm’s length. Following this advice will prevent you from ever stumbling in this area again.

https://kindredgrace.com/story/elliot/

 

[Kidron]

I am 15 years old, raised in a Christian home and surrounded by Christian friends. I became a born-again Christian at 13, raising my hand in front of everybody in the congregation and not hesitating to accept Jesus into my heart. I'm not a good Christian, I have my faults, but I do my best on staying pure.
Last year I was involved in the True Love Waits campaign, my mom being by my side. I truly meant what I said and I planned on sticking to that until marriage.
But I goofed up this year. I found a boyfriend, a boy who is also a Christian, a boy who I thought would wait just like myself. But he wasn't the Christian who I thought he was, and things happened. We broke up last month because I wasn't comfortable with what happened and I wasn't happy with myself with what I did. He also told me that I wasn't the first girl for him, and I think that only made it worse for me.
So now I'm here, just looking for prayer and support and for somebody to tell me that hey it's okay. I'm not telling anybody I know about what I did, and that includes my youth pastor, but I just want to tell other Christians what I did and I'm hoping that I can get some help out of it.
I'm not happy with myself is what it comes down to. I regret doing it, I regret allowing him to do it with me, I regret not waiting for marriage like I told myself I would. I am a bit of an emotional wreck, but I'm staying strong and doing what I can.

Here is what God wants you to do.
Move on.

Let me give you some sound advice regarding running around guilt tripping, and trying to tell everyone about your feelings of Guilt.
It wont change anything that has happened.
And, usually, When you tell one, they will tell one, and by the time it stops, you might as well have shouted it from the rooftop.
Very few people have what the bible calls a "spirit of discretion".
Most people has an issue with gossip.

Listen, Your issue, is between you and your own conscience, and God.
God has already forgiven your deed,...... and your part now, is to forgive yourself and let this experience be a boundary.
A red light.
A stop sign.
See it?

You've felt the consequences, and you know what you know.
You understand what it means to put yourself in that situation, and you know what it was like when you were not putting yourself in that situation.
YOU control that.

Now, put all your condemnation away, put this behind you, and go forward having learned a strong lesson.
See.....God forgives, and what is more, He forgets..
Its people who tend to want to hold on and hold on and stress out, and this is not what we are to do, as the born again.
We are to live our lives, and do our best, and put God first.
You concentrate on that, and let the PAST be in the past.
What you have done, is in the Past.....and its the person you are TODAY, that is all that matters.
Your Past does not define you........Its God who defines you, and He says.....>"You are always mine". and "we are always One", and "i am always at peace with you".
Now, live in God's Grace and never in your self condemnation, as that is not of God.

 

[GaryA]

1) Get right with God.

2) Don't beat yourself up over it. Instead, realize just how 'weak' you are without God and how much you need God to keep you 'untainted' by the world.

3) Get/Stay as close to God as you can.

4) Learn the lesson and remember it always!

5) Move on.

6) If God puts you in the position of being a 'beacon' of light for other girls who may be tempted to go down that path - "take it and run with it" - be a witness and a testimony for others to help them not to make the same mistake.

Don't let the negative aspect of this thing undermine you; rather, turn it into something very positive that will help others...

I just want to encourage you to strive for the best possible outcome.

Take a tragedy and turn it into something wonderful!

Hang in there!

Do the best you can - with God's help.

Don't leave Him out of it by trying to do it on your own.

Stay on the positive side - the side of faith.

And, may God bless your efforts according to His will.

Be Good. Have Faith. March On.

 

[Eagle05]

Here is what God wants you to do.
Move on.

Let me give you some sound advice regarding running around guilt tripping, and trying to tell everyone about your feelings of Guilt.
It wont change anything that has happened.
And, usually, When you tell one, they will tell one, and by the time it stops, you might as well have shouted it from the rooftop.
Very few people have what the bible calls a "spirit of discretion".
Most people has an issue with gossip.

Listen, Your issue, is between you and your own conscience, and God.
God has already forgiven your deed,...... and your part now, is to forgive yourself and let this experience be a boundary.
A red light.
A stop sign.
See it?

You've felt the consequences, and you know what you know.
You understand what it means to put yourself in that situation, and you know what it was like when you were not putting yourself in that situation.
YOU control that.

Now, put all your condemnation away, put this behind you, and go forward having learned a strong lesson.
See.....God forgives, and what is more, He forgets..
Its people who tend to want to hold on and hold on and stress out, and this is not what we are to do, as the born again.
We are to live our lives, and do our best, and put God first.
You concentrate on that, and let the PAST be in the past.
What you have done, is in the Past.....and its the person you are TODAY, that is all that matters.
Your Past does not define you........Its God who defines you, and He says.....>"You are always mine". and "we are always One", and "i am always at peace with you".
Now, live in God's Grace and never in your self condemnation, as that is not of God.

Thankyou Kidron.

 

[Eagle05]

1) Get right with God.

2) Don't beat yourself up over it. Instead, realize just how 'weak' you are without God and how much you need God to keep you 'untainted' by the world.

3) Get/Stay as close to God as you can.

4) Learn the lesson and remember it always!

5) Move on.

6) If God puts you in the position of being a 'beacon' of light for other girls who may be tempted to go down that path - "take it and run with it" - be a witness and a testimony for others to help them not to make the same mistake.

Don't let the negative aspect of this thing undermine you; rather, turn it into something very positive that will help others...

I just want to encourage you to strive for the best possible outcome.

Take a tragedy and turn it into something wonderful!

Hang in there!

Do the best you can - with God's help.

Don't leave Him out of it by trying to do it on your own.

Stay on the positive side - the side of faith.

And, may God bless your efforts according to His will.

Be Good. Have Faith. March On.

And thank you Gary. I will do my best from here on.

 

[Gideon300]

I am 15 years old, raised in a Christian home and surrounded by Christian friends. I became a born-again Christian at 13, raising my hand in front of everybody in the congregation and not hesitating to accept Jesus into my heart. I'm not a good Christian, I have my faults, but I do my best on staying pure.
Last year I was involved in the True Love Waits campaign, my mom being by my side. I truly meant what I said and I planned on sticking to that until marriage.
But I goofed up this year. I found a boyfriend, a boy who is also a Christian, a boy who I thought would wait just like myself. But he wasn't the Christian who I thought he was, and things happened. We broke up last month because I wasn't comfortable with what happened and I wasn't happy with myself with what I did. He also told me that I wasn't the first girl for him, and I think that only made it worse for me.
So now I'm here, just looking for prayer and support and for somebody to tell me that hey it's okay. I'm not telling anybody I know about what I did, and that includes my youth pastor, but I just want to tell other Christians what I did and I'm hoping that I can get some help out of it.
I'm not happy with myself is what it comes down to. I regret doing it, I regret allowing him to do it with me, I regret not waiting for marriage like I told myself I would. I am a bit of an emotional wreck, but I'm staying strong and doing what I can.

There is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus. Once you confess your sin, God is faithful and just to forgive your sin. As far as He is concerned, it never happened. The main thing is that you learn from this experience. We are not as good as we think we are.

You also must forgive yourself and the ex. This can be impossible if the hurt goes deep. I recommend this article, it will enable you to what seems impossible:
https://www.christianlife.org.au/can-you-forgive-from-your-heart

 

[Kidron]

Thankyou Kidron.

Shalom to you, Eagle05

 

[brighthouse98]

Sister Mandy( 1 Cor 6:15-20) You are sure not alone!! I made this mistake myself. Not saying you did this,but I can read between the lines pretty well. Who is without faults?? Ah not me! As Jesus told the lady( John 5:14 and John 8:3-11) And so my dear sister we do the same. Remember!!! there is NO Condemnation for those of us in Christ Jesus!!( Rom 8:1,and John 3:17-18) Your board is now clean,do not beat yourself up any longer! Jesus knows our heart!!

For myself sister,after I became Born again, I judged people until this happened to me,after this in prayer Holy Spirit showed me this!! ( Rom 2:1-4) Verse4!!!! Now at my tender age of 68 I now can rest upon Jesus, rather then myself.( Philp 4:7-9) Rest upon this Mandy!! As a true disciple of the Most High, think upon how you can help another,after you gain confidence in Jesus in you! Stay in God's Word daily sis,and you will stay in peace.

For things we go through always has a purpose, both to teach us,and learn from,so we can help another. ( Gal 6:1-5) Be restored Mandy!!!! Go forth and conquer!!! May every blessing find you,and find you most well in and through our Lord Jesus!!

 

[SigP226]

I'll put this simply.

At the end of the day, we ALL sin. No one sin is worse than the other (though society would have you believe so.)

It's God who ULTIMATELY knows your heart. If you genuinely confess it, He promises to not only forgive, but to FORGET. Forgive yourseld in the same way and move on.

 

[Godsgirl83]

I am 15 years old, raised in a Christian home and surrounded by Christian friends. I became a born-again Christian at 13, raising my hand in front of everybody in the congregation and not hesitating to accept Jesus into my heart. I'm not a good Christian, I have my faults, but I do my best on staying pure.
Last year I was involved in the True Love Waits campaign, my mom being by my side. I truly meant what I said and I planned on sticking to that until marriage.
But I goofed up this year. I found a boyfriend, a boy who is also a Christian, a boy who I thought would wait just like myself. But he wasn't the Christian who I thought he was, and things happened. We broke up last month because I wasn't comfortable with what happened and I wasn't happy with myself with what I did. He also told me that I wasn't the first girl for him, and I think that only made it worse for me.
So now I'm here, just looking for prayer and support and for somebody to tell me that hey it's okay. I'm not telling anybody I know about what I did, and that includes my youth pastor, but I just want to tell other Christians what I did and I'm hoping that I can get some help out of it.
I'm not happy with myself is what it comes down to. I regret doing it, I regret allowing him to do it with me, I regret not waiting for marriage like I told myself I would. I am a bit of an emotional wreck, but I'm staying strong and doing what I can.

Mandy,

The Mama Bear in me just wants to reach through the screen and give you a big old bear hug!!!!! You're just a few years older than my own daughter, and I want to say that I can't even imagine.................. but then again I don't have to imagine or even try to. I look back and remember 15 year old me (just over 20 years ago) in youth group going through the True Love Waits program. But you know what? 15 year old me was all caught up in the whole emotionalism of it all, but nothing said or done through that program really reached deep inside me enough to really "stick" or help me escape when pressure and temptation eventually came........ then one day 17 year old me ended up in the same place you have found yourself in. A "boyfriend" from church ( let me reword that for what it really was: a boy who was at church because he was staying with his grandparents who attended that church- just because someone attends church or youth group doesn't mean they are committed to the Lord) And then the guilt and shame set in. To top it off, I found out a few days later that he was in the middle of a DNA & custody/ child support battle (to see if he was the father of another girls 3 year old child, talk about heart break- YIKES!), he was staying there with his grandparents because they were 45 minutes from the court that was overseeing the case, vs. the nearly 3 hour drive from his parents home where he lived. ...............................
I'm going to stop the story there because that story (and it's outcome) isn't what I came here to post about- You have been given some wonderful advice in this thread, and anything else I could say would basically be the same. But I wanted you to know that you are not alone, and things will get better.

What I really wanted to share with you is this, because I read your post a couple days ago and just can't this off my mind.

First off, please be very careful what you do/share online.
Many sites like this one are public and whatever you post can be found in google searches (I've seen some of my own come up). Threads can be read by ANYONE, avatar pics can be seen by ANYONE, profiles that are not set to private can be viewed by ANYONE. It is only registered members that can interact and reply/post, but ANYONE can read stuff. You are young, adorable, and vulnerable, PLEASE BE CAREFUL online.


Please don't feel you have to answer or give details about these thoughts below In fact I encourage you NOT TO do so here. These are just some things for you to think about:

I want to encourage you to see a Dr.
Condoms are not 100%. STD's can still be spread even with condom use.
Condoms can break (sometimes going unnoticed)
Get a pregnancy test. Don't rely on a missed/late period or not. Some females can still have periods during early pregnancy stages.
Also birth control pills sometimes fail, so if you've been on any it is still a good idea to get tested/checked up by your Dr.

I know this can seem scary, and I don't say any of it to scare you.
I've been where you are, and I know there are just some things that at 15 we don't think about or realize need attention.
While you are focused on your spiritual and emotional healing, please don't forget to look after your physical well being too.

One more thought:
I know you said you're not telling anyone about this, but I strongly encourage you to find an older female whom you trust to counsel with.

Praying for you!

 

[Eagle05]

LOL! It gets worse and worse and worse. I am laughing at myself btw. I did reply to your pm.

 

[ankagirl]

I am 15 years old, raised in a Christian home and surrounded by Christian friends. I became a born-again Christian at 13, raising my hand in front of everybody in the congregation and not hesitating to accept Jesus into my heart. I'm not a good Christian, I have my faults, but I do my best on staying pure.
Last year I was involved in the True Love Waits campaign, my mom being by my side. I truly meant what I said and I planned on sticking to that until marriage.
But I goofed up this year. I found a boyfriend, a boy who is also a Christian, a boy who I thought would wait just like myself. But he wasn't the Christian who I thought he was, and things happened. We broke up last month because I wasn't comfortable with what happened and I wasn't happy with myself with what I did. He also told me that I wasn't the first girl for him, and I think that only made it worse for me.
So now I'm here, just looking for prayer and support and for somebody to tell me that hey it's okay. I'm not telling anybody I know about what I did, and that includes my youth pastor, but I just want to tell other Christians what I did and I'm hoping that I can get some help out of it.
I'm not happy with myself is what it comes down to. I regret doing it, I regret allowing him to do it with me, I regret not waiting for marriage like I told myself I would. I am a bit of an emotional wreck, but I'm staying strong and doing what I can.

I admire your honesty, it must be hard to admit this after your commitment last year. I know it can be really hard to stay pure as a young woman, especially in our culture today where ‘experimenting’ is strongly promoted.
What has really helped me is to memorize certain passages from the bible having to do with sexual lust. Then I would repeat them to myself when I was struggling or in tough spot. 2 Timothy 2:22 and 1 Corinthians 6:18 are both really good, although there are many more.
I would also suggest that you tell someone that you know. This can be one of the hardest things to do because you feel that everyone expects more from you and you don’t wanna disappoint them (that was my biggest concern). When I came to my dad and told him about some of the stuff that I’d been struggling with and hid, I expected him to be really angry and disappointed with me. And while he was disappointed, he also understood my struggle with sexual sin and, instead if being mad at me, prayed for me and helped me to get off on a new start.
I’d also suggest to tell someone because it is always easier to stay pure when you have someone to hold you accountable. This is the whole idea about chaperones, right?
Always seek for answers first in the Word of God. But of you’re open to reading a good book, I’d suggest ‘When God Writes Your Love Story’ by Eric and Leslie Ludy. It’s a great book and was a great encouragement for me.
I’ll be praying for you! God bless!!!

 

[surfer14]

I'm sure many will disagree with me. But I'll say it because it might be helpful for you.

You can't change the past. Best you can do is to learn from it. I would tend to council against "moving on" too soon though. You kinda want to burn that pain into your mind a little bit. Don't try to dull it. You'll be well served by remembering that pain and humiliation in the future when you'll experience a new temptation. What I'm saying is the pain could wind up being your friend, helping you stay on the straight and narrow, and guiding you to a happy and healthy future.

And that's the other thing. Let me tell you a little story that will be an allegory for you. It's true. My daughter recently went through college. She got all A's her first and second years. Then in her third year catastrophe struck! She got a B+. She was devastated. And after that happened I saw a change that I had to talk to her about. She was no longer giving the effort in her studies that she did prior to that B+. She kind of had the mindset that all was ruined. All was lost. And that just wasn't true. It wasn't true for her in her situation. And it isn't true for you in your situation. I am sure your demon will come to you in the next few weeks, months, years and tell you that since you messed up once, it doesn't matter if you mess up again. That is a lie. A terrible, terrible lie. So let me now finish the story of my daughter. She actually listened to her old man! She buckled down and finished her schooling with all A's after that one B+. She graduated with something like a 3.98. And you know what? in a way I'm more proud of how she fought back through that temptation to quit than I would have been if she'd have just graduated with a 4.0. Now allow me to encourage you, just like I encouraged her. Go walk the straight and narrow path. Do the right thing. Take the difficult option. When you fail, don't make excuses. Don't feel sorry for yourself. Just get back on that path toward the bright future that can be yours depending on the choices you make from here on out.

I pray all the best for you.