Asking the question...

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Hethr

Guest
#1
#1
So say you see a nice attractive person you might want to get to know and this person seems interested in you. How do you approach the "Are you a Christian" question? Just out and ask them? Get to know them first? I won't get involved with anyone who isn't a strong Christian, and I dont meet many of them anyway, but I'm not sure how to ask this without it sounding blunt.
 
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Jewliahr

Guest
#2
#2
Why be ashamed of asking? Girl be proud about it! If he is a godly man it will show! Good luck!
 
Hommer

Hommer

Senior Member
#3
Feb 11, 2010
172
3
18
#3
Yeah I typically just asked, but alot of times you can see the fruits, but sometimes I dont have the patience to look for fruit so I just ask..........
 
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Hethr

Guest
#4
#4
Jewliahr said:
Why be ashamed of asking? Girl be proud about it! If he is a godly man it will show! Good luck!
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Since I won't date a non-Christian, I'm not ashamed of asking, I just wondered how y'all go about it.
 
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tif

Guest
#5
#5
Hethr said:
Since I won't date a non-Christian, I'm not ashamed of asking, I just wondered how y'all go about it.
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You're right, of course. It's really awkward when you think you're on the same page as someone, and you (or worse, they) suddenly realize you're talking apples and bananas.

I think the best way to do this is to ask the person about himself. Everyone likes the opportunity to have a little spotlight once in a while. The way I've done this (not in a romantic setting, mind) has been: "So, it really sounds like you've got some strong spiritual beliefs. Do you mind if I ask what they are?"

Of course, that's because I work in mental health, and it's a capital crime to promote one's own beliefs. :( I have to wait for someone to ask before I can really talk about God. (And even then, there's the possibility of running into trouble.)

If it's social, I'd probably just come right out and say, "Hey, my connection with God is really important to me. What do you believe about God and everything?"
 
1

1still_waters

Guest
#6
#6
I just ask them what they think about God. But usually my circle of people involves ' Christians' so having to ask that really isn't a concern in the first place.
 
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thimsrebma

Guest
#7
#7
I generally ask what chuirch does someone go to. If they say "_________ Church" then I ask them more about it.

If they say they do not go I ask them if they are Christian.

If they say they are then I ask why they don't go regularly, which seems to be common for many single men.

If they say the are not Christian, well, thats the end of that.
 
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Whyllow

Guest
#8
#8
I usually ask "So what are your spiritual beliefs?" if they ask what do you mean say "Well, are you a Christian?" then start getting into the discussion of being just the title and a follower of Christ.
 
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Liz01

Guest
#9
#9
Almost all the ppl that are around me are not christians, but when i have a doubt about someone they ask me and i dont have to ask, i just talk about what i do and when i put God in my sentences they ask "are you a christian?" so i say "yes, and you, what do you believe?"
 
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Jullianna

Guest
#10
#10
I think it's wise to observe certain things and non-judgmentally ask them about matters of faith rather than just asking whether they are a christian or not. I've made the mistake of asking that question and being told yes, only to find out later on that our definitions of that word were VERY different. :(
 
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Rissa77

Guest
#11
#11
A strong Christian can't help but talk about God in normal conversation. It should be no problem finding out if God is their greatest love. If it's not apparent after a while, or they don't engage in godly conversation that you naturally talk about, then that's probably your sign.

And since here in the south everyone and their mamas "go to church", it's no use asking where they go. They're going to tell you somewhere to get you off their back, even if they only visit on Easter. Not a good technique here.
 
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Psalm2713

Guest
#12
#12
Most of the time, if they are really christian.. it is obvious.. :)
 
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Jullianna

Guest
#13
#13
Rissa77 said:
A strong Christian can't help but talk about God in normal conversation. It should be no problem finding out if God is their greatest love. If it's not apparent after a while, or they don't engage in godly conversation that you naturally talk about, then that's probably your sign.

And since here in the south everyone and their mamas "go to church", it's no use asking where they go. They're going to tell you somewhere to get you off their back, even if they only visit on Easter. Not a good technique here.
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Good post :)
 
phil36

phil36

Senior Member
#14
Feb 12, 2009
8,345
2,159
113
United Kingdom
#14
Jullianna said:
I think it's wise to observe certain things and non-judgmentally ask them about matters of faith rather than just asking whether they are a christian or not. I've made the mistake of asking that question and being told yes, only to find out later on that our definitions of that word were VERY different. :(
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I think this is good advice.
 
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thimsrebma

Guest
#15
#15
Rissa77 said:
A strong Christian can't help but talk about God in normal conversation. It should be no problem finding out if God is their greatest love. If it's not apparent after a while, or they don't engage in godly conversation that you naturally talk about, then that's probably your sign.

And since here in the south everyone and their mamas "go to church", it's no use asking where they go. They're going to tell you somewhere to get you off their back, even if they only visit on Easter. Not a good technique here.
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I generally ask what church they go to and then ask them more about the church and what type of activities they are involved in. This yeilds better results than a simple "What church do you go to?"
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#16
Aug 2, 2009
24,653
4,316
113
#16
I can tell without asking if someone is a christian or not. There is a way to do it but I'm not going to say what it is.
 
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tif

Guest
#17
#17
Jullianna said:
I think it's wise to observe certain things and non-judgmentally ask them about matters of faith rather than just asking whether they are a christian or not. I've made the mistake of asking that question and being told yes, only to find out later on that our definitions of that word were VERY different. :(
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Julianna: Boy, do I ever understand what you're saying......

There is nothing quite so agonizing as having someone say, "Hey, I believe in Jesus. Casting spells doesn't make me a nonChristian! And really, God's in everything, and he's in us, so you know, can anyone ever really say they aren't a Christian." And when they are confrontational and you could lose your job for dissing another person's beliefs... Well, I was so steamed I couldn't think of anything to say at all. :(

The only good thing is that I've been able to share my faith and have open, honest discussions with about seven people at my workplace about God and Jesus, after they've asked. To heck with no promoting my own faith; if I'm asked, I won't back down.
 
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Liz01

Guest
#18
#18
zeroturbulence said:
I can tell without asking if someone is a christian or not. There is a way to do it but I'm not going to say what it is.
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hmmm......now....im very curious about that way..........:p
 
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thimsrebma

Guest
#19
#19
tif said:
Julianna: Boy, do I ever understand what you're saying......

There is nothing quite so agonizing as having someone say, "Hey, I believe in Jesus. Casting spells doesn't make me a nonChristian! And really, God's in everything, and he's in us, so you know, can anyone ever really say they aren't a Christian." And when they are confrontational and you could lose your job for dissing another person's beliefs... Well, I was so steamed I couldn't think of anything to say at all. :(

The only good thing is that I've been able to share my faith and have open, honest discussions with about seven people at my workplace about God and Jesus, after they've asked. To heck with no promoting my own faith; if I'm asked, I won't back down.
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Someone actually said that to you? Crazy. You need to stay far away from them as possible. LOL
 
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