A needed confession

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May 23, 2020
58
47
18
#1
Hey guys,

I think this is the first time I have ever been really vulnerable about what I really struggle with in my life. It hurts because the battle still seems largely unwinable and unpredictable. I actually struggle with homosexuality. I have for a while. I've been addicted to pornography and masturbation and I have conditioned my mind to think thoughts that are not of God. I have come to realize just how much I have to fight because of how long I have been in this. Today, I was at a concert. I saw a boy who was behind me and my flesh started to rise up. I kept looking at him. Trying to fight it but I failed sometimes. I prayed, it helped. But I met the dude, talked to him when I knew I should stay away from him. Nothing happened. I invited him to someone elses church but I can't go there because of just how much I have to "flee youthful lust". I feel so guilty. The thoughts however better than before, were still present. My feelings were high. And I know that I sinned in God's sight due to the condition of my mind. It is so scary to me. I don't know what would have happened if this boy's reaction to me was different. And I can't help but fear if I begin to do work for God's kingdom, yet can't keep this managed and subdued. I know all of the advice for this stuff. I'm the one who usually gives it. Above all I felt the need to confess this on a platform that isn't so close to home. The bible says, "Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results." - James 5:16. You don't know me, but I encourage you to pray. Just about anyone who is facing this. And thanks ChristianChat for giving me the ability to confess like this to a community of believers.
 

Gideon300

Well-known member
Mar 18, 2021
5,368
3,163
113
#2
Hey guys,

I think this is the first time I have ever been really vulnerable about what I really struggle with in my life. It hurts because the battle still seems largely unwinable and unpredictable. I actually struggle with homosexuality. I have for a while. I've been addicted to pornography and masturbation and I have conditioned my mind to think thoughts that are not of God. I have come to realize just how much I have to fight because of how long I have been in this. Today, I was at a concert. I saw a boy who was behind me and my flesh started to rise up. I kept looking at him. Trying to fight it but I failed sometimes. I prayed, it helped. But I met the dude, talked to him when I knew I should stay away from him. Nothing happened. I invited him to someone elses church but I can't go there because of just how much I have to "flee youthful lust". I feel so guilty. The thoughts however better than before, were still present. My feelings were high. And I know that I sinned in God's sight due to the condition of my mind. It is so scary to me. I don't know what would have happened if this boy's reaction to me was different. And I can't help but fear if I begin to do work for God's kingdom, yet can't keep this managed and subdued. I know all of the advice for this stuff. I'm the one who usually gives it. Above all I felt the need to confess this on a platform that isn't so close to home. The bible says, "Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results." - James 5:16. You don't know me, but I encourage you to pray. Just about anyone who is facing this. And thanks ChristianChat for giving me the ability to confess like this to a community of believers.
Your honesty is refreshing. Thank you for sharing. God is merciful to those who are willing to admit their sins. Anyone who condemns you needs to take a look in the mirror.

Please remember that temptation is not sin. Satan is the accuser of the brethren. It is God who justifies, who is he that condemns? You need to remember that the blood of Christ removes sin as if it never happened. If you confess then bring it up with God again, He will ask you what you are talking about!

You almost certainly need deliverance from the demon of homosexuality. You can cast it out yourself or seek out someone who knows their authority in Christ.

Please remember that you are dead to sin. Satan lies to us. We need to reject his lies. When you confess what Jesus has done for you, Satan trembles. Galatians 2:20 is a great word to speak when things are difficult. I am crucified with Christ. Not, I hope to be or but I don't feel dead. God's word is absolute. It's no longer I that lives but Christ. If Lord Jesus can sin, so can I. If he can fall, so can I. Now if He was tempted just like us but without sin, then we are well able to overcome in Him.

If you will confess these truths and keep it up, Satan will give up. You will be tempted from time to time all your life. That's normal. All it should do is make us stronger and more determined to resist. See this is as a positive. You may be in a position to help others with similar issues. Homosexuality is a blight on society and on individual lives. Many want to be free but don't know how.