My thinking at the time, hmmm, probably much like many other non-believers, though I was not an atheist, for I knew there was some hidden spiritual reality into which I'd had glimpses. I was raised in a fairly strict religiously oriented home, and rebelled big time against what I saw as boring, repetitious, hypocritical, nonsensical, restrictive, legalistic, outmoded and short-sighted traditions. Even so I have very fond memories of some of those traditions, such as what we shared at Christmas time, for mine was a large family (I have ten siblings), and we would sometimes host thirty or more plus people (aunts and uncles and cousins and nieces and nephews and in-laws and friends) for the festive dinner with all the fixings and sweets and board games and card games and all those sorts of things that go into the making of lovely reminiscences.What was your reisistance based upon?
What was your thinking at the time?
I was put through all the regular paces, you know, such as infant baptism, first communion, and confirmation, but I had no idea what any of it meant. I could not wait to grow up and find out about all the things we were sheltered from; I left home shortly after turning 18 and dropped out of high school in order to work full time to support myself. I had already started drinking, smoking, and doing drugs.
Even so, I was very much drawn to explore things of a spiritual nature, for which I had a natural affinity. For instance, when I was quite young, perhaps around the age of nine or ten, I'd had a very profound dream which struck me as being more real than my day-to-day existence, which seemed to entail moving through life as merely going through the motions and somewhat-to-largely doing what was expected of me more than anything else. But because of that dream experience as a child, I started doing dream work more seriously as a young adult, and I engaged in that off and on over many decades, with it sometimes yielding stunning results that included multiple experiences of pre-cognizance. I was aware that God revealed certain things to people in dreams, and so although I did not believe in or accept the Biblical God, I did believe those things were gifts from the Spirit of the universe.
I would love to share more with you about all this must must get ready to go out for a bit.
Thanks for asking!