Where is the Gentleness and Humility?

[Runningman]

Again you neglected to read what I wrote--if a person is trying to cause strife in a forum, instead of engaging in the strife ignore them--you just add fuel to the fire. Also CALL them out on it if it is a pattern--I have been in chat forums where a couple of people are REPEATEDLY rude. For example, you have a jealous co-worker who is putting you down with 'digs'--you should call them out on it--if it continues the best thing to do is not engage with them--this person has ZERO boundaries, like many on this site. In the Bible forums we are their for discussion and debate--rudeness and condescension have no place amongst brothers and sisters in Christ.

The Bible disagrees with you. No where does the Bible say to cut off people from your life who are not gentle, humble, or are rude.

Actually, 1 Corinthians 13 refutes your claims and commands you to be loving, suffer long, be kind, not seeking your own, thinking no evil, bear all things, endure all things. If that isn't enough, Jesus said to love your enemies and to love your neighbor as yourself. I'm sure you would be heartbroken if your friends and family abandoned you if you had bad personality traits.

 

[Laura798]

I have tried a lot more ways of dealing with people and almost all of them have given me disappointing results except ONE and that’s the way of Love,without first knowing whether someone is an atheist or believer,we are called to love everyone perhaps that’s how some of the unbelievers will come to the Lord,Offences and disappointments are everywhere even in church but every time I think about what Christ went through at the cross,it fuels me to forgive more and more, I don’t seem to support offending others but if someone offended you,forgive them and love them because like am not good in everything,I don’t expect everyone to be good in everything either,we all have weaknesses but let’s just go close to God and tell him about it because that’s the only way for us as children of God anyway!I won’t like it if Laura leaves and I request if it’s possible you stay dear because I love you and the rest on this site,we can still stay friends even when we disagree on certain things!!

Thank you, Elight for your kind words!

 

[Laura798]

Hello @Laura798, after more than 20 years of posting out here in online Christendom, I understand your frustration, and I agree that we (Christians) should always choose to act like the ones who we claim to be. Of course, not all who claim to know the Lord Jesus actually do, and as for the rest of us, while we should already know better, as His workmanship .. Ephesians 2:10, we also need to remember that none of us are the finished masterpieces that He has promised us that we will be someday, yes .. e.g. Philippians 1:6.

Remember too that this has proven to be a difficult medium to communicate on at times, especially since we are unable to see the expression on the other person's face (or body) that we are talking to, or hear the inflection is his/her voice, so there can be a lot of miscommunication (especially when the only thing that we have at our disposal to help us communicate the true meaning of our words more clearly is an emoji ).

Here are some positives that I try my best to keep in mind whenever I post.

1. We can never force someone else to act like a Christian is supposed to act, but we can always choose to act in such a way ourselves, as both an example and a blessing to others (to help other Christians understand why the Lord wants all of us to act with loving patience, kindness and understanding toward believers and unbelievers alike , or to at least be a light in the midst of the ugly/darkness for the sake of the many who are here everyday just to see what Christianity is all about, and what Christians are really like).​

​

2. It's easy to imagine that we are the Matthew 7:12 (see my signature line below) Christians that we believe ourselves to be when everyone is treating us in a kind/loving/patient manner, but a place like this one can help us ~know~ where our walk before the Lord actually is, yes? (because it's not so easy to a continue to be a Matthew 7:12 Christian when we are being attacked/persecuted, especially by other "Christians" and/or for no good/apparent reason ). And when unbelievers see how we respond to these attacks (if we do so as the Matthew 7:12/1 Peter 3:15 Christians that we are commanded to be, that is), we can be an even greater witness for God/the Christian faith, yes ​

​

3. Difficult people help us remember that we should be praying for ~everyone~ God gives us the opportunity to talk to here (before, during and after we make a post to them if need be). This, I am sad to admit, is the point in all of this that I am most guilty of failing at .(and it often takes a difficult person, as I said above, to help me remember to do so).​

​

4. Learning to be loving/kind/patient toward brothers and sisters in Christ here at CChat, when they are hardly acting in the same way towards us, can help us be better prepared for the persecution that we will face from unbelievers in the future, whether online or in the real world ​

So, since there are these (and other) positives, I hope that you'll consider staying on for awhile longer (as part of your ministry to the body of Christ, to help make CChat a better place for us all, for your own sake/growth as a Christian, and for God's glory, of course).

God bless you!

~Deut
p.s. - all the verses/passages that you see below in my signature line are meant to remind me (and anyone else, I suppose) how a Christian is supposed/commanded to act, because it's so easy to get caught up in the emotion of the moment and forget, isn't it (especially online).

Galatians 6​

9 Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.​

10 So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith.​

​

Dear D, Thank you for your post and the wonderful verse--you have given me a lot to think about and encouraged me! Blessings to you. L

 

[Laura798]

The Bible disagrees with you. No where does the Bible say to cut off people from your life who are not gentle, humble, or are rude.

Actually, 1 Corinthians 13 refutes your claims and commands you to be loving, suffer long, be kind, not seeking your own, thinking no evil, bear all things, endure all things. If that isn't enough, Jesus said to love your enemies and to love your neighbor as yourself. I'm sure you would be heartbroken if your friends and family abandoned you if you had bad personality traits.

Runningman, this isn't a debate--the verses of love do not negate anything I've said. How strange to say the Bible disagrees with me, when it is you who disagree. You don't seem to be reading what I've written very carefully. In this case, I won't engage further as I don't see it benefiting either of us.

 

[Laura798]

The Bible disagrees with you. No where does the Bible say to cut off people from your life who are not gentle, humble, or are rude.

Actually, 1 Corinthians 13 refutes your claims and commands you to be loving, suffer long, be kind, not seeking your own, thinking no evil, bear all things, endure all things. If that isn't enough, Jesus said to love your enemies and to love your neighbor as yourself. I'm sure you would be heartbroken if your friends and family abandoned you if you had bad personality traits.

"15If your brother sins against you, go and confront him privately. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ 17If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, regard him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.…"--Matthew 18: 16-17

 

[Mem]

There are generally five management styles from which to approach conflict, i.e. accommodating, avoiding, compromising, collaborating, competing, and as many personality types which influence which individual style each person might approach a particular resolution. Also, there is the suggestion that a question should be asked of oneself before choosing any particular style that is, 'how much do you value the person or issue?' I think it more prudent to assume most often than not, especially in the online environment, that the issues are preferred over the persons in most cases.

 

[Laura798]

Consider 1 Kings 18:27. Isaiah begins to taunt the prophets of Baal because Baal isn't answering their calls:

"And at noon Elijah mocked them, saying, 'Cry aloud, for he is a god. Either he is musing, or he is relieving himself, or he is on a journey, or perhaps he is asleep and must be awakened.' "

Provers 28:1 says: "The wicked flee when no one pursues, but the righteous are bold as a lion."

Acts 18:28 says Paul "powerfully refuted" his opponents: "When he arrived, he greatly helped those who through grace had believed, for he powerfully refuted the Jews in public, showing by the Scriptures that the Christ was Jesus."

As I recall, Paul was a bit sarcastic with the Corinthians in his letters.

I agree we can do without personal insults, but there's nothing wrong with taking a strong stand for God's word. In my experience, people resort to personal insults when, and if, their scriptural arguments run out.

Dear RA, I completely agree that we can take a strong stance when it is needed-however, that isn't what I was saying--again it is about repeated 'reviling' of what other's post in the forum. The pagans deserved the refutations they received--but amongst believers there is no need for rudeness and condescension.

 

[Laura798]

I totally see and agree with your comments. I’ve noticed it for years and have concluded this: I welcome any and all into the forums. A tree is known by its fruit. The more anger, and impatience they display, the weaker their testimony. The site is full of sheep and goats. Notice the goats didn’t know that they were goats at the judgement. Joyce Myers made a comment before about testing the ripeness of fruit in the grocery store. You squeeze it. The goats give a fantastic opportunity to the sheep to “squeeze their fruit”. The debates are a crucible to assist in the purification process of the believers. To purify a great amount of heat is required. Some of these debates can get quite heated. In the end the sheep are revealed as are the goats and sometimes wolves. To eliminate this process by muzzling the wolves, you never get the opportunity to hone your skills at defanging them. Then when faced in the workplace or even at church when one arises the sheep scatter. We as Christians are supposed to be peaceable and loving, that’s how to spot the imposters. They discredit themselves and weaken their pseudo gospel.

 

[Laura798]

Well said, Hungry! I appreciate your perspective.

 

[Laura798]

Dear RA, I completely agree that we can take a strong stance when it is needed-however, that isn't what I was saying--again it is about repeated 'reviling' of what other's post in the forum. The pagans deserved the refutations they received--but amongst believers there is no need for rudeness and condescension.

"
"people resort to personal insults when, and if, their scriptural arguments run out."--- Thank you, RA, I need to remember this!!!

 

[ResidentAlien]

but amongst believers there is no need for rudeness and condescension.

I respectfully disagree. Most people don't know others here personally and don't know the fruit they live out in their everyday lives. The only thing we have is what they post. If what they post can be refuted by scripture it should be. But it shouldn't get personal, which very often it does.

I'm not going to call anyone out and say they're not a Christian, but the fact is we simply don't know if everyone here who claims to be a Christian actually is. We just have to respond to what they post without personal attacks.

But I'm in total agreement many here skim what you say and immediately go into attack mode; this is just a fact of life here. Ignore button's a great cure for this. I don't like ignoring people but it's better than trying to respond to every baseless attack and getting drawn into a feud.

 

[Laura798]

There are generally five management styles from which to approach conflict, i.e. accommodating, avoiding, compromising, collaborating, competing, and as many personality types which influence which individual style each person might approach a particular resolution. Also, there is the suggestion that a question should be asked of oneself before choosing any particular style that is, 'how much do you value the person or issue?' I think it more prudent to assume most often than not, especially in the online environment, that the issues are preferred over the persons in most cases.

I like what you shared here Mem--great tools and great insight: "especially in the online environment, that the issues are preferred over the persons in most cases." --I think this is the problem with online interactions--we don't see each other as people anymore and it rather cuts off our humanity--kindness, warmth, compassion. I'm taking this to heart.

 

[Absolutely]

I disagree--Christians DO call other Christians to account when behaving badly. Also my point of 'ignoring' is to NOT engage them in their negativity--don't get in a verbal sparring match. Please find one verse in the bible that gives excuses for people's bad behavior--"Oh they're just having a bad day"--TRUE Christian are not rude to others as a way to vent--and I'm not talking about one offs-there are people in the forums that have a PATTERN of rudeness.

Once any member brings forth a doctrine that is shaky ( amil) then they are going to be challenged.

In that challenge there may be some heat.

Try going " concept vs concept".

Everytime i have gotten in trouble is when personal attacks have messed with me.

Never had any trouble going "concept vs concept"

 

[Laura798]

I respectfully disagree. Most people don't know others here personally and don't know the fruit they live out in their everyday lives. The only thing we have is what they post. If what they post can be refuted by scripture it should be. But it shouldn't get personal, which very often it does.

I'm not going to call anyone out and say they're not a Christian, but the fact is we simply don't know if everyone here who claims to be a Christian actually is. We just have to respond to what they post without personal attacks.

But I'm in total agreement many here skim what you say and immediately go into attack mode; this is just a fact of life here. Ignore button's a great cure for this. I don't like ignoring people but it's better than trying to respond to every baseless attack and getting drawn into a feud.

Dear RA--can you explain the 'ignore' button to me--I'm pretty tech savvy, but have never used Chat before--I'm currently not working and being in California we are still so isolated--I never thought I would ever join a chat as it is so impersonal.

 

[Absolutely]

Actually Magenta, given the context of what I wrote for you to veer off the main subject--something that was upseting to me---to define a word comes across as insensitive--and the general use of the word does have negative connotations. Also, reading it in the whole context of what they wrote. Imagine yourself being upset and are sharing that with another person and the other starts defining words, rather than addressing the thing that has made you upset--I believe anyone would feel their feelings were discounted. However, I'm sorry if you felt I put you in the bin--I see you are one of the few Welcomers to the New--that shows a kind heart.

She is an asset to the board.
Really good solid member

 

[ResidentAlien]

Dear RA--can you explain the 'ignore' button to me--I'm pretty tech savvy, but have never used Chat before--I'm currently not working and being in California we are still so isolated--I never thought I would ever join a chat as it is so impersonal.

No problem. Just hover your mouse over a user's avatar and when the popup pops up just select ignore. You can unignore them later if you want. There's also a link at the bottom of each page that says "Show ignored content." This will allow you to temporarily see ignored posts without removing anyone from your ignore list.

 

[Mem]

I like what you shared here Mem--great tools and great insight: "especially in the online environment, that the issues are preferred over the persons in most cases." --I think this is the problem with online interactions--we don't see each other as people anymore and it rather cuts off our humanity--kindness, warmth, compassion. I'm taking this to heart.

Sent Pops, Guardian model T-800 as assistance throughout your cc adventures, God bless.

 

[Laura798]

No problem. Just hover your mouse over a user's avatar and when the popup pops up just select ignore. You can unignore them later if you want. There's also a link at the bottom of each page that says "Show ignored content." This will allow you to temporarily see ignored posts without removing anyone from your ignore list.

Brilliant, thanks RA!

 

[Laura798]

Sent Pops, Guardian model T-800 as assistance throughout your cc adventures, God bless.

Ha, ha! Thanks, Mem!

 

[Laura798]

I have tried a lot more ways of dealing with people and almost all of them have given me disappointing results except ONE and that’s the way of Love,without first knowing whether someone is an atheist or believer,we are called to love everyone perhaps that’s how some of the unbelievers will come to the Lord,Offences and disappointments are everywhere even in church but every time I think about what Christ went through at the cross,it fuels me to forgive more and more, I don’t seem to support offending others but if someone offended you,forgive them and love them because like am not good in everything,I don’t expect everyone to be good in everything either,we all have weaknesses but let’s just go close to God and tell him about it because that’s the only way for us as children of God anyway!I won’t like it if Laura leaves and I request if it’s possible you stay dear because I love you and the rest on this site,we can still stay friends even when we disagree on certain things!!

Thank you, Elights--your kind words are appreciated!