Kinds and marijuana

[acornell]

(Actually, that should be "kids" and marijuana!)

We have a 16-year-old son who smokes pot daily. He is convinced that it's healthy and it's actually good for you. He thinks we parents are brainwashed by the government and medical community to think it's bad. He says we're hypocritical because we occasionally have a beer or glass or two of wine.

He gets a small allowance for jobs around the house. We lock our wallets away because he takes cash from us.

Two months ago, he was arrested for possession. He won't be charged if he completes counseling, which he is doing.

He has dropped out of regular school and is taking correspondence courses. He has no part-time job. He plays no sports. He has lots of friends and for the most part, they're of the same mindset. Bob Marley is his hero.

He says he's a Christian. He knows more Bible than me because he attended an independent Christian school for eight years. I do not force him to go to church because that would do more harm than good.

Other than our mutual love of music, we are very different. I am trying very hard to be a father and spend time with him.

I'm not a prude, even though he thinks I am. My wife and I have smoked up, but only occasionally and that was a long, long time ago. I tell my son I'd have no problem if he went to school, got good marks and had a job. It's the daily smoke and the culture he's bought into that I have a problem with.

Other than prayer, and lots of it, what can I do?

ac

 

[Lucy68]

Hi ac,
Sorry to hear about your son. I have a similar situation with my daughter (19)...raised with a Christian childhood, says she's a Christian, but has made choices contrary to Christian beliefs.

I,too, mentioned my mistakes when younger and discussed the bad consequences that occurred thinking that this would HELP my children understand about sin. It seems what happened was that they came away thinking "well if my mom did it, I can do it", totally ignoring the lesson I tried to impart.

Is his schooling being monitored at home? I home-schooled my daughter but caught her cheating several times by sneaking the answer keys. Finally, I had to put a lock on my bedroom door and lock up all teacher materials. My MANY talks about integrity and honesty were TOTALLY ignored.

I found that the more leisure time she had, the more trouble she got into. I would definitely recommend strongly insisting on your son having a full-time job in the summer and a part-time job during the school year. They will learn a lot from having to help with their own financial support.

It is your house and you make the rules. Yes, your son may get mad and move out but you do have some leverage to prevent this. Figure out what that leverage is and use it! He's still better off with you than living on his own. You know that but he doesn't..probably.

If he's allowed to use your car - use that as leverage. For example, say "if you get a job you may use the car" (and insist on knowing where he and the car are at all times). But if he's caught with pot, then he loses the car for a week or whatever. Then you'll have to drive him to work... inconvenient for you but it gets the message across. And don't change your mind on this; be firm and consistent.

My daughter's rebellion started when she was 15 and since then we've found out some really awful things about her. She'll be 20 soon and is still living at home and not pregnant yet so I guess we've made it through some rough waters. She is now seeing some things that she didn't see before. At 15 and 16 some teens really DO think they know more than their parents. Our job is to get them through their delusions with minimal damage.

Anyway, this has been some things that I've learned with my daughter. I'll pray for you and your family; hang in there and stay close to God to get through this!

 

[TDWP22]

in part he is correct at saying the government has brainwash you in a way, but weed still is kind of harmful

 

[Dude653]

drugs are bad,, mmkkayy!!

 

[selenah]

(Actually, that should be "kids" and marijuana!)

We have a 16-year-old son who smokes pot daily. He is convinced that it's healthy and it's actually good for you. He thinks we parents are brainwashed by the government and medical community to think it's bad. He says we're hypocritical because we occasionally have a beer or glass or two of wine.

He gets a small allowance for jobs around the house. We lock our wallets away because he takes cash from us.

Two months ago, he was arrested for possession. He won't be charged if he completes counseling, which he is doing.

He has dropped out of regular school and is taking correspondence courses. He has no part-time job. He plays no sports. He has lots of friends and for the most part, they're of the same mindset. Bob Marley is his hero.

He says he's a Christian. He knows more Bible than me because he attended an independent Christian school for eight years. I do not force him to go to church because that would do more harm than good.

Other than our mutual love of music, we are very different. I am trying very hard to be a father and spend time with him.

I'm not a prude, even though he thinks I am. My wife and I have smoked up, but only occasionally and that was a long, long time ago. I tell my son I'd have no problem if he went to school, got good marks and had a job. It's the daily smoke and the culture he's bought into that I have a problem with.

Other than prayer, and lots of it, what can I do?

ac

You know, he probably isn't smoking it just for his health. Why don't you find out why he's doing it?

 

[Lucy68]

I guess people will use it whether it's harmful or not...if that's what they want to do. Here's some facts about marijuana:

Call it pot, grass, weed, or any one of nearly 200 other names, marijuana is, by far, the world’s most commonly used illicit drug—and far more dangerous than most users realize. So, there is just cause for alarm when adolescent marijuana use increases, as it did in the mid-1990’s, and the age at which youngsters first experiment with pot starts to drops.

[FONT=Helvetica, Arial Narrow, Arial]The Impact on the Mind[/FONT] [FONT=Helvetica, Arial Narrow, Arial]Marijuana use reduces learning ability. Research has been piling up of late demonstrating clearly that marijuana limits the capacity to absorb and retain information. A 1995 study of college students discovered that the inability of heavy marijuana users to focus, sustain attention, and organize data persists for as long as 24 hours after their last use of the drug. Earlier research, comparing cognitive abilities of adult marijuana users with non-using adults, found that users fall short on memory as well as math and verbal skills. Although it has yet to be proven conclusively that heavy marijuana use can cause irreversible loss of intellectual capacity, animal studies have shown marijuana-induced structural damage to portions of the brain essential to memory and learning. [/FONT]
[FONT=Helvetica, Arial Narrow, Arial]
The Impact on the Body[/FONT]
[FONT=Helvetica, Arial Narrow, Arial]Chronic marijuana smokers are prey to chest colds, bronchitis, emphysema, and bronchial asthma. Persistent use will damage lungs and airways and raise the risk of cancer. There is just as much exposure to cancer-causing chemicals from smoking one marijuana joint as smoking five tobacco cigarettes. And there is evidence that marijuana may limit the ability of the immune system to fight infection and disease. [/FONT]
[FONT=Helvetica, Arial Narrow, Arial]Marijuana also affects hormones. Regular use can delay the onset of puberty in young men and reduce sperm production. For women, regular use may disrupt normal monthly menstrual cycles and inhibit ovulation. When pregnant women use marijuana, they run the risk of having smaller babies with lower birth weights, who are more likely than other babies to develop health problems. Some studies have also found indications of developmental delays in children exposed to marijuana before birth.[/FONT]

 

[TDWP22]

I guess people will use it whether it's harmful or not...if that's what they want to do. Here's some facts about marijuana:

Call it pot, grass, weed, or any one of nearly 200 other names, marijuana is, by far, the world’s most commonly used illicit drug—and far more dangerous than most users realize. So, there is just cause for alarm when adolescent marijuana use increases, as it did in the mid-1990’s, and the age at which youngsters first experiment with pot starts to drops.

[FONT=Helvetica, Arial Narrow, Arial]The Impact on the Mind[/FONT] [FONT=Helvetica, Arial Narrow, Arial]Marijuana use reduces learning ability. Research has been piling up of late demonstrating clearly that marijuana limits the capacity to absorb and retain information. A 1995 study of college students discovered that the inability of heavy marijuana users to focus, sustain attention, and organize data persists for as long as 24 hours after their last use of the drug. Earlier research, comparing cognitive abilities of adult marijuana users with non-using adults, found that users fall short on memory as well as math and verbal skills. Although it has yet to be proven conclusively that heavy marijuana use can cause irreversible loss of intellectual capacity, animal studies have shown marijuana-induced structural damage to portions of the brain essential to memory and learning. [/FONT]
[FONT=Helvetica, Arial Narrow, Arial]
The Impact on the Body[/FONT]
[FONT=Helvetica, Arial Narrow, Arial]Chronic marijuana smokers are prey to chest colds, bronchitis, emphysema, and bronchial asthma. Persistent use will damage lungs and airways and raise the risk of cancer. There is just as much exposure to cancer-causing chemicals from smoking one marijuana joint as smoking five tobacco cigarettes. And there is evidence that marijuana may limit the ability of the immune system to fight infection and disease. [/FONT]
[FONT=Helvetica, Arial Narrow, Arial]Marijuana also affects hormones. Regular use can delay the onset of puberty in young men and reduce sperm production. For women, regular use may disrupt normal monthly menstrual cycles and inhibit ovulation. When pregnant women use marijuana, they run the risk of having smaller babies with lower birth weights, who are more likely than other babies to develop health problems. Some studies have also found indications of developmental delays in children exposed to marijuana before birth.[/FONT]

You do know that any smoke its harmful, doesnt matter if its from a campfire, barbeque or second hand smoke. they all will give you lung problems, cancer and asthma...besides, alcohol and cigarettes are worst than marijuana. The reason it's illegal is because the US government will not benefit finacialy like alcohol and cigarettes do

 

[acornell]

So what about the belief among Rastafarians that marijuana is a sacrament? It has religious connotations. The experience is seen as bringing you closer to God. That's what I'm dealing with.

ac

 

[acornell]

You know, he probably isn't smoking it just for his health. Why don't you find out why he's doing it?

We've tried to get into his head. He says it helps him cope with life. Then he refuses to reveal what about life requires escape. We're praying for revelation for him and us.

ac

 

[selenah]

We've tried to get into his head. He says it helps him cope with life. Then he refuses to reveal what about life requires escape. We're praying for revelation for him and us.

ac

If he says "it helps him to cope in life" he's depressed. Believe me.

Why he's depressed, I don't know. Only you guys can find that one out.

Just....try to find a solution to the problem before he starts going on worse stuff. People usually "don't stop with pot."

 

[TDWP22]

We've tried to get into his head. He says it helps him cope with life. Then he refuses to reveal what about life requires escape. We're praying for revelation for him and us.

ac

wow rasta?? man your son is deep in it, at least they believe in peace...all i can say is fast and pray

 

[Ugly]

You do know that any smoke its harmful, doesnt matter if its from a campfire, barbeque or second hand smoke. they all will give you lung problems, cancer and asthma...besides, alcohol and cigarettes are worst than marijuana. The reason it's illegal is because the US government will not benefit finacialy like alcohol and cigarettes do

Yes, i'm sure we all know that, but its pretty irrelevant to the conversation. People don't typically stand over a campfire & inhale many times a day. Same with bbqing. Second hand smoke is typically something most non-smokers will try to avoid unless they're in a situation they can't help. So what does any of that have to do with this mans teenage son smoking pot? How is that helpful?
Also pot smoke is also more dangerous than cigarette smoke. The reason cigarette smoke seems to do more damage is most people will smoke more cigarettes than pot. Cigarettes are filtered, pot is not.
Lastly, you say the US government will not benefit financially from legalizing pot? Really? Why not? Lets see, they tax alcohol & cigarettes, so wouldn't they just need to tax pot if it was legalized? Then wouldn't they make money just the same as cigarettes & alcohol? So, yeah, strike 3 for you.



As far as the Rastafarian excuse, i admit i don't know a lot about their beliefs, but i do know one thing. They aren't Christian. So your son claiming to be Christian but using Rastafarian beliefs is nonsensical. That's the same as using Hindu, or any other religion as an excuse for behavior.

Here's something to consider, pot is a form of weed, like the weeds in your yard. The weeds in your yard choke out grass, killing your lawn. Therefore we know that weeds could not have performed this way, let say, in the Garden of Eden. So its safe to say either weeds did not exist, or not in the form they do now, in the Garden. That would mean that it wasn't until after the fall & sin corrupted the earth that weed, in the form we know it now, began to grow. So weed is not a 'natural' thing God made, so it must be good. It is a byproduct of sin entering world. A concept you might want to try presenting to your son.

 

[acornell]

Re: weeds and the Garden of Eden, you've given me something to think about.

thanks!

peace to you

ac

 

[TDWP22]

Yes, i'm sure we all know that, but its pretty irrelevant to the conversation. People don't typically stand over a campfire & inhale many times a day. Same with bbqing. Second hand smoke is typically something most non-smokers will try to avoid unless they're in a situation they can't help. So what does any of that have to do with this mans teenage son smoking pot? How is that helpful?
Also pot smoke is also more dangerous than cigarette smoke. The reason cigarette smoke seems to do more damage is most people will smoke more cigarettes than pot. Cigarettes are filtered, pot is not.
Lastly, you say the US government will not benefit financially from legalizing pot? Really? Why not? Lets see, they tax alcohol & cigarettes, so wouldn't they just need to tax pot if it was legalized? Then wouldn't they make money just the same as cigarettes & alcohol? So, yeah, strike 3 for you.



As far as the Rastafarian excuse, i admit i don't know a lot about their beliefs, but i do know one thing. They aren't Christian. So your son claiming to be Christian but using Rastafarian beliefs is nonsensical. That's the same as using Hindu, or any other religion as an excuse for behavior.

Here's something to consider, pot is a form of weed, like the weeds in your yard. The weeds in your yard choke out grass, killing your lawn. Therefore we know that weeds could not have performed this way, let say, in the Garden of Eden. So its safe to say either weeds did not exist, or not in the form they do now, in the Garden. That would mean that it wasn't until after the fall & sin corrupted the earth that weed, in the form we know it now, began to grow. So weed is not a 'natural' thing God made, so it must be good. It is a byproduct of sin entering world. A concept you might want to try presenting to your son.

ohhh nonononon...cigarretes are way more destructive and thats because companies add other chemicals to make it more addictive....weed is dried pot leaves, roll it and light it up and there you have it, no chemicals but plain weed leaves....God created, dont say it isnt, it wasnt for meant for man's use but for animals, just like some creatures eat wild mushrooms for its hallucinating affect. My point is, if cigarrettes and alcohol are legal weed should too, and no im not for its use, but really, its plain stupid....we got medications that make babies deformed but a few will get arrested for taking something that at the worst, will give cancer just like many drugs out there...either all "natural" drugs are legal or none are....

 

[TDWP22]

Yes, i'm sure we all know that, but its pretty irrelevant to the conversation. People don't typically stand over a campfire & inhale many times a day. Same with bbqing. Second hand smoke is typically something most non-smokers will try to avoid unless they're in a situation they can't help. So what does any of that have to do with this mans teenage son smoking pot? How is that helpful?
Also pot smoke is also more dangerous than cigarette smoke. The reason cigarette smoke seems to do more damage is most people will smoke more cigarettes than pot. Cigarettes are filtered, pot is not.
Lastly, you say the US government will not benefit financially from legalizing pot? Really? Why not? Lets see, they tax alcohol & cigarettes, so wouldn't they just need to tax pot if it was legalized? Then wouldn't they make money just the same as cigarettes & alcohol? So, yeah, strike 3 for you.



As far as the Rastafarian excuse, i admit i don't know a lot about their beliefs, but i do know one thing. They aren't Christian. So your son claiming to be Christian but using Rastafarian beliefs is nonsensical. That's the same as using Hindu, or any other religion as an excuse for behavior.

Here's something to consider, pot is a form of weed, like the weeds in your yard. The weeds in your yard choke out grass, killing your lawn. Therefore we know that weeds could not have performed this way, let say, in the Garden of Eden. So its safe to say either weeds did not exist, or not in the form they do now, in the Garden. That would mean that it wasn't until after the fall & sin corrupted the earth that weed, in the form we know it now, began to grow. So weed is not a 'natural' thing God made, so it must be good. It is a byproduct of sin entering world. A concept you might want to try presenting to your son.

do me a favor and dont talk about subjects you dont know, that is about the rastafari. if i was still in the world, i probably would have chosen to be a rasta since they arent as hypocrite and are more hospitable than alot of so called "Christ Likes"

 

[Fidelis]

Marijuana is not healthy, no. But he is right about the alcohol stuff. It's way more destructive than marijuana is.

 

[IDFSteady]

Personally, I think habitually using any substance that significantly influences your bodily functions or your thinking is iffy, for both physical and spiritual reasons. That statement goes for alcohol, cigarettes, prescriptions, illicit drugs, anything. Weed might not be the most potent drug out there (and yes, a plant can be called a drug, in case anybody wanted to debate that), but it's still quite capable of causing problems. I've known several "potheads", almost all of whom were long term, chronic smokers. Every single one of them had depression to some degree or another and they were even worse when they didn't get their hits in. Quite simply, weed was their crutch and it controlled large areas of their decision-making. And before I get attacked for speaking without experience, I want it to be known that I used to smoke it myself before I realized how much it had changed me for the worse.

Another important aspect to consider is addiction. Marijuana isn't physically addictive like nicotine, alcohol, heroin or meth, but the potential for psychological addiction is very significant, especially long term. The user may begin to crave the sensation of being stoned and might even get to a point where regular life becomes almost unbearably dull. This phenomenon is not unique to marijuana, it's also observed in those who frequently view pornography. Additionally, any psychological conditions a smoker had to begin with are apt to becoming amplified (depression especially).

Biblically speaking, I think it's impossible to be a stoner (meaning a habitual smoker, not one who tried it a few times) and to walk wholeheartedly in the faith. I'm not saying he couldn't be saved necessarily, but merely that as with any problem that isn't addressed, his walk is going to be much harder. That's not even getting into the Rastafarian ideals, which themselves aren't exactly gospel.

To summarize: Weed may not have the same family-shattering potential as alcohol or meth, but it's got a lot of negative potential and it's not bringing him closer to God, either.

I hope everything works out for you, friend.

 

[IDFSteady]

Heh, I just realized I provided no direct help whatsoever:

I'd recommend prayers, patience, studying the Bible and educating yourself about the ideals he thinks are the way to go (Rasta and the purported benefit of marijuana), so you can discuss it with him and try to understand where he's at. I know when my parents understood my rebellion, they were far more efficient at quelling it and helping bring me back to the Lord.

 

[wwjd_kilden]

First of, realize this:

Alcoho, and many other legal substances are more physically dangerous than marijuana, ask any serious doctor/ scientist.

I saw an interview with five doctors about drugs in general, if they could ban ONE substance (out of marijuana, benzodiazepines, alcohol and "heavy drugs" :four of them would ban benzodiazepine, one would ban alcohol

why? Because these are so commonly accepted, and so much used that they hurt many without them realizing. An adult using heavy pain medication (more than prescribed) is not normally seen as ad abuser, yet a person smoking pot is...)

the problem with marijuana is that the feeling of not caring is so much stronger than the one from alcohol. (And of course it being illegal).
When people smoke it often enough to get addicted, it becomes really bad. (Just like alcohol....)

if you know he buys drugs for his allowance, simply stop giving it to him. and, like suggested: try to get him to get a part time job to stay focused on something else. And more importantly: Try to get him away from that environment! He will not quit while he is with so many others who see it as OK.

 

[Ugly]

do me a favor and dont talk about subjects you dont know, that is about the rastafari. if i was still in the world, i probably would have chosen to be a rasta since they arent as hypocrite and are more hospitable than alot of so called "Christ Likes"

As usual, your response is underwhelming. Also, you should take more time to actually read what people say. I very specifically said 'i don't know much about Rastafarian'. And pointed out that all i did know was that they are not Christian. That's all i said about it. So i was fully in bounds of my knowledge to speak what i said. I made no assumptions, guesses, or accusations about them or their beliefs. Try paying more attention next time.