The "too nice" thing

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Jullianna

Guest
#1
#1
Ladies, I don't know that this happens to us very often or am I wrong about that? I can't remember ever having this happen to me or any of my friends. Is it just a guy thing? Maybe I'm just not that nice. haha :p

Guys, have you ever stopped dating a lady because you thought she was "too nice" for you?

I have never broken things off with a guy for being "too nice". That's probably because when I think about guys that fit into what I consider to be the "too nice" category, they are usually also in the "just friends" category. It's NOT because I want to be treated badly/without manners/am into bad boys or anything like that. GentlemanBob was talking about the polite things he does for a lady. A self-respecting LADY does like these things, I assure you. The reason it happens for me is that I begin to feel that I somehow need to assume the leadership role in the relationship and that's not the sort of relationship that I want or need. IT'S OKAY TO TELL ME "NO". It's okay to say you don't like something. It's okay not to want to do everything I want to do, go where I want to go, etc. As a matter of fact, as I said in another thread, I will respect you MORE if you will be honest about this stuff, as long as you are POLITE about it.

There are a couple of guys in these threads who seem to understand the concept. Good job, guys. :)

Ladies, am I the only one who feels this way?
 
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lightbliss

Guest
#2
#2
So you mean too nice as in "push-over, mushy nice" and not "I'm just a really respectful and polite nice"?

Honestly, I don't think I'd break up with anyone like that because I wouldn't "date" someone like that. I'm not much of a "people person" (for three reasons), so if I open up to someone, that means I really respect and admire them. Any annoying traits they have would be overlooked but since I am not a people person, seldom will that happen (as of now: being comfortable enough to open up) hence why I would not date someone who is "too nice."

Initially, someone may be very bashful if they're in a new "romantic relationship" and I think that is normal. But after a while...
 
A

allforfun

Guest
#3
#3
No, you are not the only one who feels this way.

I want a gentle man. I also want a man who can make decisions without being a jerk about it. But who can tell me "no" sometimes.

I am a liberated woman meaning I will never be a housewife. But that doesn't mean I don't want to be treated with class.

I have never dumped a guy for treating me too well. I have dumped a guy for not thinking of me as a person.
 
B

Bradley

Guest
#4
#4
I am a very nice man. I am a very single man. Maybe I am too nice.
 
Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
#5
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
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#5
Actually it is probably my number one reason for dumping women.

I don't mean to seem harsh but, for me life is to be experienced unfiltered to its fullest range of potential possibilities. I want someone to be themselves, agreeable about the things that suit them as well as disagreeable concerning the things which do not. People must have opinions dreams and a taste that is uniquely them.

Being nice for the sake of itself lends itself to to not standing for what matter for the sake of politeness. Such a thing has a place and a time but, if I am going to share my life with someone, I can't do it with someone who may politely endure my company. I want to be told if I am wrong or if something is out of place.
 
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Whyllow

Guest
#6
#6
Liamson said:
Actually it is probably my number one reason for dumping women.

I don't mean to seem harsh but, for me life is to be experienced unfiltered to its fullest range of potential possibilities. I want someone to be themselves, agreeable about the things that suit them as well as disagreeable concerning the things which do not. People must have opinions dreams and a taste that is uniquely them.

Being nice for the sake of itself lends itself to to not standing for what matter for the sake of politeness. Such a thing has a place and a time but, if I am going to share my life with someone, I can't do it with someone who may politely endure my company. I want to be told if I am wrong or if something is out of place.
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I totally agree.

When I'm first dating with someone, I don't go all out with the deep conversations right there, and I'm nice to the person. I'm myself! But if someone really says something that I don't agree with. I'll keep quiet until the person is done talking, then I'll tell them what I think!

But all in all? I've been told I'm too nice because I go out of my way to do things for people I care about. Like my last relationship. I went out of my way to get him coffee because the coffee maker at his work broken. When he was sick, I brought him soup. I do things like that all the time.
 
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NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#7
#7
Liamson said:
Actually it is probably my number one reason for dumping women.

I don't mean to seem harsh but, for me life is to be experienced unfiltered to its fullest range of potential possibilities. I want someone to be themselves, agreeable about the things that suit them as well as disagreeable concerning the things which do not. People must have opinions dreams and a taste that is uniquely them.

Being nice for the sake of itself lends itself to to not standing for what matter for the sake of politeness. Such a thing has a place and a time but, if I am going to share my life with someone, I can't do it with someone who may politely endure my company. I want to be told if I am wrong or if something is out of place.
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Heck yeah... i like that last paragraph.

Im really not into the too nice thing, and i would never date anyone overly nice. I dont want someone to be to accommodating either. Like.. Oh do you want this do you want that do you need this do you need that. Its like look if i want something i'll tell you otherwise QUIT ASKING!

I want to know where i stand with someone, and if he is this nicey nice kinda guy, i'll never know cause he'll be to nice to tell me! Its all a vicious circle of niceness...
 
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Peter321

Guest
#11
#11
I think it's usually the 'insecure' guys who are too nice, girls somehow don't like that and friendzone them :p
 
Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
#12
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#12
Peter321 said:
I think it's usually the 'insecure' guys who are too nice, girls somehow don't like that and friendzone them :p
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I agree.

The dumb and ironic thing is that some of us can have all of the confidence in the world, except when needed for that one girl who takes our breath away. Then we stare at the floor and stutter, as we make weird faces and appear entirely too awkward for their comfort.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#13
Aug 2, 2009
24,653
4,316
113
#13
There should really be a support group for nice guys. They can call it "Just Friends".
 
T

TDWP22

Guest
#15
#15
girls like that start to become a nuisance to alot of guys
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#16
Aug 2, 2009
24,653
4,316
113
#16
So it looks like most folks don't want someone who is too nice. They'd rather have someone who isn't afraid to kick their butt. Interesting! This might be a point for the evolutionists (survival of the fittest).
 
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Rissa77

Guest
#17
#17
Jullianna, I'm right there with you. ;)
 
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Liz01

Guest
#18
#18
ok..let see...i like nice guys, i love nice guys, but i like that them be honest with me but i think that guys need to have the leadership in a relationship because what bible say that the head of a man is Christ and the head of a woman is a man, so i think a nice guy is perfect when is honest and apply the leadership that God gave to him.
 
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rainacorn

Guest
#19
#19
"What would you like to do for your birthday?"

"I don't know. What do you want to do?"

"FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?! Uh... go to Chuck E Cheese and fight small children in the ball pit."

"Whatever you want honey. Sounds good to me."

"I hate you."
 
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