Controlling the eyes from lust

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,433
2,418
113
#61
I never talked about girl's beauty. Idk why you're totally Changing the topic. A beautiful girl isn't the problem here, you literally suported girls going topless. That is the problem don't divert from the subject.
I'm not changing the topic; at least not the underlying topic. The underlying topic is about how much responsibility women by the way they dress have for "making a man sing (oops that was supposed to be sin, but some typos deserve to live)" . My point is that if the guilt for men's thoughts and actions could be properly placed on women inciting desire in a man, then women may not be able to walk out the door without accidentally sinning by tempting some man to want to have sex with them just because they're good looking (or have a wardrobe malfunction, or well the possibilites seem almost endless of ways things could go wrong).

If it needs to be said, no I'm not in favor of women going around topless in my town and country; heck I'm not even in favor of bikinis. I just am not going to immediately condemn people out in the middle of nowhere Africa or the Amazon basin where it's normal and perfectly acceptable dress for all the women to go around topless (though I'm not sure that even if I lived long term in one of those places I'd adapt and do the same myself while there).

But it is a problem when people start to think that men's lust or inappropriate sexual behavior (as distinguished from momentary, involuntary arousal) is excused by or an unavoidable outcome of what a woman wears or looks like or does. And I don't even think you're someone who is trying to excuse or justify such; you're just using arguments that logically lead to such a conclusion. Yes some women make it harder for men to maintain pure thoughts, and that's not a good thing. But it also doesn't automatically mean that all women who wear clothes that show more skin that you are comfortable with are sinful and godless.
 

Jesus_Leads

Active member
Aug 15, 2021
264
89
28
#62
Dude you totally misunderstood the issue and started advising a pervert who is not me and also I totally don't support guys who willfully lust after a woman but a woman who is a reason for tempting a saint. Using mother feeding here is totally inappropriate. Kindly try to understand the problem.
apparently there is a nudist park somewhere in the suburbs near me (its called a naturist club) and there are some designated nudist beaches, but in general, here ladies dont walk round naked.

I found that even clothed, some men can be rude and stare at you like you are a piece of meat. I also think for many women its actually harder to be beautiful and attractive because its like you are a bone to a dog. There is nothing much a bone can do except be hidden away in the ground, but we women actually need to go out and do stuff.

So maybe its on the dog to control himself and stop drooling.

Or I know..go to Jesus, look to the cross and die to your flesh. You'll be free and then wont have this problem. If Jesus can get rid of sin, then its likely that you wont sin as well because well, thats the miracle of believing.

Recall that when Jesus went to stay with Mary and Martha he was teaching them, he wasnt ogling them. Then some people were like why is Jesus friends with a sinful woman? eg Mary Magdalene. And He was like shes been forgiven.

I think some were expecting Jesus and Mary to be like...they could only ever be together for one reason. she's a prostitute! Why is he even eating with her? Well they were wrong.[/QUOTE
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#63
Dude you totally misunderstood the issue and started advising a pervert who is not me and also I totally don't support guys who willfully lust after a woman but a woman who is a reason for tempting a saint. Using mother feeding here is totally inappropriate. Kindly try to understand the problem.
? am not a dude

what is your problem then? You put in your title post 'controlling eyes from lust'

so if that isnt YOUR problem what is.

Why would a woman tempt a saint. Women can be saints too. Or are we tempting each other. You seem to presume theres something wrong with half of the human population.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#64
women breast feeding is natural and isnt inappropriate when the baby is HUNGRY

What do you expect a mother to do...starve her baby?
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#65
If you in a situation like a Mrs Potiphar /Joseph scenario you just do what Joseph did...run.

But if you are just being a David to a Bathsheba its on you because Bathsheba was just having a bath. I would think most baths are not in view of the general public so it would have been David perving. Rather than Bathsheba tempting him.
 

Jesus_Leads

Active member
Aug 15, 2021
264
89
28
#66
I'm not changing the topic; at least not the underlying topic. The underlying topic is about how much responsibility women by the way they dress have for "making a man sing (oops that was supposed to be sin, but some typos deserve to live)" . My point is that if the guilt for men's thoughts and actions could be properly placed on women inciting desire in a man, then women may not be able to walk out the door without accidentally sinning by tempting some man to want to have sex with them just because they're good looking (or have a wardrobe malfunction, or well the possibilites seem almost endless of ways things could go wrong).

If it needs to be said, no I'm not in favor of women going around topless in my town and country; heck I'm not even in favor of bikinis. I just am not going to immediately condemn people out in the middle of nowhere Africa or the Amazon basin where it's normal and perfectly acceptable dress for all the women to go around topless (though I'm not sure that even if I lived long term in one of those places I'd adapt and do the same myself while there).

But it is a problem when people start to think that men's lust or inappropriate sexual behavior (as distinguished from momentary, involuntary arousal) is excused by or an unavoidable outcome of what a woman wears or looks like or does. And I don't even think you're someone who is trying to excuse or justify such; you're just using arguments that logically lead to such a conclusion. Yes some women make it harder for men to maintain pure thoughts, and that's not a good thing. But it also doesn't automatically mean that all women who wear clothes that show more skin that you are comfortable with are sinful and godless.
I never said that last sentence you said, you are adding up more arguments and saying i said these. You guys are making me look like some male chauvinist Hitler or Mussolini with these beauty, breast feeding and a woman has to go out she can't stay inside her home points. I never said them

If a man wants to lust after a woman willfully he is gonna look at every woman with sinful thoughts no matter how good she has dressed. This is truth I never said no to this and the woman has the guilt in this case

Anyways, I don't have the right to judge. I'm just gonna step aside. I'm sorry if I said anything wrong or something that hurts anybody. May our God who has all wisdom guide is in truth.
 

Jesus_Leads

Active member
Aug 15, 2021
264
89
28
#67
Li
If you in a situation like a Mrs Potiphar /Joseph scenario you just do what Joseph did...run.

But if you are just being a David to a Bathsheba its on you because Bathsheba was just having a bath. I would think most baths are not in view of the general public so it would have been David perving. Rather than Bathsheba tempting him.
Listen I have no idea why you're bringing up these irrelevant topics here. The discussion here is about dressing in public, even a child knows looking into someone else's bathroom is wrong. If you want to make powerful conversation don't use me for that. I never said anything you are talking about. Don't make up your own arguments.
 

Jesus_Leads

Active member
Aug 15, 2021
264
89
28
#68
Whe
women breast feeding is natural and isnt inappropriate when the baby is HUNGRY

What do you expect a mother to do...starve her baby?
Did I ever say breast feeding in public is wrong. Or did I say a woman breast feeding is tempting me NO. Then why are you bringing this here without any need ?
 

Amanuensis

Well-known member
Jun 12, 2021
1,457
460
83
#69
Eye contact is the best advice. Eventually you will train your eyes to not look at body parts. And when a woman tries to show off something like those horrible yoga pants, and you get an eyeful without trying to you will not have any temptation to take a second look because you will have trained yourself and the holiness and fellowship with Jesus that you walk in by the Holy Spirit will guide you and you will not allow your peace to be disturbed by these flashes of the ungodly you will encounter all around you today.

You will have perfect peace even if you do get flashed now and then. You will rejoice that you have no problem ignoring them. Keep loving Jesus and don't let listen to the devil's false accusations when you are actually overcoming successfully day by day in the training of the eyes.

Fashions change constantly and there is always some new method of "look at me, look at me" that come on the scene. I look forward to the day that they realize that yoga pants were a bad idea. Mom jeans are back, those are pretty safe. Ugly as all get out but not obnoxious like mid drifts and yoga pants. Hopefully modest clothing will become a trend. Wouldn't that be great?
 
Nov 13, 2021
89
50
18
#70
Eye contact is the best advice. Eventually you will train your eyes to not look at body parts. And when a woman tries to show off something like those horrible yoga pants, and you get an eyeful without trying to you will not have any temptation to take a second look because you will have trained yourself and the holiness and fellowship with Jesus that you walk in by the Holy Spirit will guide you and you will not allow your peace to be disturbed by these flashes of the ungodly you will encounter all around you today.

You will have perfect peace even if you do get flashed now and then. You will rejoice that you have no problem ignoring them. Keep loving Jesus and don't let listen to the devil's false accusations when you are actually overcoming successfully day by day in the training of the eyes.

Fashions change constantly and there is always some new method of "look at me, look at me" that come on the scene. I look forward to the day that they realize that yoga pants were a bad idea. Mom jeans are back, those are pretty safe. Ugly as all get out but not obnoxious like mid drifts and yoga pants. Hopefully modest clothing will become a trend. Wouldn't that be great?
WEAH thatwouid be so nice if modest clothing was populer some time but we
need to remember that we need to store stuff up in heaven not on thing on earth for one day this world will pass away and we will be with GOD and no one wouid have any undesent clothing for we will be clothed with rightouseness by jesus praise his holy name
 

Jesus_Leads

Active member
Aug 15, 2021
264
89
28
#71
Eye contact is the best advice. Eventually you will train your eyes to not look at body parts. And when a woman tries to show off something like those horrible yoga pants, and you get an eyeful without trying to you will not have any temptation to take a second look because you will have trained yourself and the holiness and fellowship with Jesus that you walk in by the Holy Spirit will guide you and you will not allow your peace to be disturbed by these flashes of the ungodly you will encounter all around you today.

You will have perfect peace even if you do get flashed now and then. You will rejoice that you have no problem ignoring them. Keep loving Jesus and don't let listen to the devil's false accusations when you are actually overcoming successfully day by day in the training of the eyes.

Fashions change constantly and there is always some new method of "look at me, look at me" that come on the scene. I look forward to the day that they realize that yoga pants were a bad idea. Mom jeans are back, those are pretty safe. Ugly as all get out but not obnoxious like mid drifts and yoga pants. Hopefully modest clothing will become a trend. Wouldn't that be great?
Thanx for the idea. And yes it would be great if modesty becomes trend but no these are end times and expect worse things to happen. As katheren said it'll end only when we this world pass. So untill that let's praise our Lord Jesus who will provide enough strength to face all our hardships.
WEAH thatwouid be so nice if modest clothing was populer some time but we
need to remember that we need to store stuff up in heaven not on thing on earth for one day this world will pass away and we will be with GOD and no one wouid have any undesent clothing for we will be clothed with rightouseness by jesus praise his holy name
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,354
9,370
113
#72
Listen I have no idea why you're bringing up these irrelevant topics here. The discussion here is about dressing in public, even a child knows looking into someone else's bathroom is wrong. If you want to make powerful conversation don't use me for that. I never said anything you are talking about. Don't make up your own arguments.
Jesus_Leads, meet Lanolin. Bringing up irrelevant topics is kind of her thing. She's the best thread derailer we ever saw... even better than me! :eek:
 

JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
6,214
2,522
113
#73
Wowww lol why are you both taking the term beauty now. Beauty isn't the problem here. And I said you cake example can't be used for this because desiring a cake is stealing but woman is different. Just don't try to change the topic.
So stealing innocence is not the same as stealing cake?

Are you qualifying sin?
If so, you are not using the biblical standards as laid out in the Gospel letters.

Lust of the eyes is beauty no matter what it is.

Eve saw that the fruit was good for making one wise.
Ham saw his father's nakedness.
Lot saw the well watered plain towards Sodom.

You seem to be intent on making the cause of sin to be everyone's fault except you. You are trying to license a portion of your sin on anyone and everyone else. Where there exists corporate sin...this one is solely on the individual committing it.

Visual traps are just that... visual traps. You don't have to fall for them. You don't have to have lust. I have the ability to restrain myself from looking at a delicious cake. Even if I am starving. I don't have to steal it or even think longingly about a cake. It's called being self controlled.

I might notice that a woman is dressed scantily or showing more skin than others. That's a far far different thing than wanting to breed with the woman.
 

Jesus_Leads

Active member
Aug 15, 2021
264
89
28
#74
Jesus_Leads, meet Lanolin. Bringing up irrelevant topics is kind of her thing. She's the best thread derailer we ever saw... even better than me! :eek:
Hahaha... Thanx for the intro man I was actually questioning myself like did i say something wrong ?. Because she was so strong with her arguments. Btw it's a pleasure meeting you Lanolin and you too lynx.
 

Jesus_Leads

Active member
Aug 15, 2021
264
89
28
#75
So stealing innocence is not the same as stealing cake?

Are you qualifying sin?
If so, you are not using the biblical standards as laid out in the Gospel letters.

Lust of the eyes is beauty no matter what it is.

Eve saw that the fruit was good for making one wise.
Ham saw his father's nakedness.
Lot saw the well watered plain towards Sodom.

You seem to be intent on making the cause of sin to be everyone's fault except you. You are trying to license a portion of your sin on anyone and everyone else. Where there exists corporate sin...this one is solely on the individual committing it.

Visual traps are just that... visual traps. You don't have to fall for them. You don't have to have lust. I have the ability to restrain myself from looking at a delicious cake. Even if I am starving. I don't have to steal it or even think longingly about a cake. It's called being self controlled.

I might notice that a woman is dressed scantily or showing more skin than others. That's a far far different thing than wanting to breed with the woman.
My man I never said that women alone carry the guilt if she dresses inappropriately. What I'm saying is if a good man falls because of her mistake she carries guilt TOO. Like in case of Eve, snake the tempter also got punished, sodom the object of temptation was destroyed. I'm saying these to anchor my arguments alone. I actually got into this argument because someone made me look like pervert after sometime I realised I'm not talking by scripture so i stopped. As I said I don't have scriptural support that woman carry guilt and I already apologized for saying that. If i ever find a verse to support that I will definitely come back to this thread and wake you up. To be honest untill now I have never judged any woman who tempted me except those models and actress in media
I was actually blaming myself that's why I came here for help. And I will definitely look at this issue with your point of view that it's just a temptation I have to turn away and shouldn't judge them guilty. Thanx for sharing your thoughts.
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,433
2,418
113
#76
I never said that last sentence you said, you are adding up more arguments and saying i said these. You guys are making me look like some male chauvinist Hitler or Mussolini with these beauty, breast feeding and a woman has to go out she can't stay inside her home points. I never said them

If a man wants to lust after a woman willfully he is gonna look at every woman with sinful thoughts no matter how good she has dressed. This is truth I never said no to this and the woman has the guilt in this case

Anyways, I don't have the right to judge. I'm just gonna step aside. I'm sorry if I said anything wrong or something that hurts anybody. May our God who has all wisdom guide is in truth.
Is there a typo in that bolded part? Otherwise it sounds like you're saying that if a man looks at a woman with lustful thoughts, no matter how modestly she is dressed she has guilt for doing something wrong in making him lust. And that's the argument I take issue with. Women aren't responsible for men choosing to indulge in lustful contemplations. Just like a rich and powerful man isn't responsible for women choosing to throw themselves at him or try to sleep their way to the top through him. Now he can choose to encourage that behavior from those women, and women can encourage men to view them as primarily a sexual opportunity by what they wear. All I am saying is that party A choosing to encourage sinful behavior does not excuse or justify party B in committing that behavior. And sometimes party A may not even realize that what they're doing is encouraging sinful behavior.

Everyone is responsible for their own choices and decisions and answerable to God for them because he's the only one who knows the whole whole story.
 

Jesus_Leads

Active member
Aug 15, 2021
264
89
28
#77
Is there a typo in that bolded part? Otherwise it sounds like you're saying that if a man looks at a woman with lustful thoughts, no matter how modestly she is dressed she has guilt for doing something wrong in making him lust. And that's the argument I take issue with. Women aren't responsible for men choosing to indulge in lustful contemplations. Just like a rich and powerful man isn't responsible for women choosing to throw themselves at him or try to sleep their way to the top through him. Now he can choose to encourage that behavior from those women, and women can encourage men to view them as primarily a sexual opportunity by what they wear. All I am saying is that party A choosing to encourage sinful behavior does not excuse or justify party B in committing that behavior. And sometimes party A may not even realize that what they're doing is encouraging sinful behavior.

Everyone is responsible for their own choices and decisions and answerable to God for them because he's the only one who knows the whole whole story.
Yup definitely a typo is there a way to edit that. Ya that's what I'm saying I dono what's right in this topic so I'm just gonna stay quiet.
 
T

TheIndianGirl

Guest
#78
The problem is, even if a woman covers up, a man can still find a reason to blame her for his behavior...maybe she is showing too much ankle, or arm, or neck, or maybe just a smile, etc. In that case, is a woman still responsible for a man sinning?
 

Jesus_Leads

Active member
Aug 15, 2021
264
89
28
#79
The problem is, even if a woman covers up, a man can still find a reason to blame her for his behavior...maybe she is showing too much ankle, or arm, or neck, or maybe just a smile, etc. In that case, is a woman still responsible for a man sinning?
If a man wants to lust after a woman, dress isn't gonna be a hurdle for him. He is going to sin anyway no matter how good a woman has dressed. If that's the case I don't see any reason to blame women. But I can't answer your case because somebody claimed modesty is upto an individual and it differs between region. What is modest for me may look immodest for someone else. I don't support that too and I have backed off from my opinion of there is one standard modesty for everyone. So for me neck, arm or ankle isn't an issue but it may be for someone. And I also don't know whether we can blame the woman or not for showing those which could tempt a man. If being topless can be seen sinless in oneway then showing ankle may be sinfull in other I'm not saying yes but without scriptural support I can't decide. I think I have confused you here have fun.
 

stilllearning

Well-known member
Oct 4, 2021
582
298
63
#80
Hello, I'm a guy, through the greatest grace of Jesus I've been saved from all lustfull deeds. I'm no more a slave to porn or anything. But when I look at woman my eyes involuntarily looks at places that it shouldn't look. I hate it, I don't enjoy doing it at the same time everytime when a woman is wearing a little exposed dress my eyes involuntarily does this. Suddenly I have to shut my eyes or turn my head away like a weird creature. Sometimes woman I know have noticed this some of them adjust their dress and some of them weren't bothered by this but I hate humiliating myself like this. Is this sin and does girls know this and what they actually think when a guy behave like this. Is this a common experience among men who are saved ?

Best cure I found is get a wife or a girlfriend. Have her by your side. Then allow your eyes to look and even your head to be turned and moved by another woman. At some point a countdown will begin in the wife or girlfriend's head. Starting at ten and counting down. When she reaches zero, the oh no he just didn't bomb will go off ;) Oh and with any bomb or explosive that goes off you do wanna make sure ya duck and cover.