Then Vs Now

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allforfun

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We all have had our expectations/check list/buck list of qualities that we want in a partner. Some of those things never change.

1. Loyalty
2. Dependability
3. Reliability

Are mine. Those haven't changed. But in my 20's, I had a much larger expectation. Then, I came to realize that was very limiting to God and to me. Paul was one of the prolific changed lives in the Bible but if we just looked at his past and dismissed him, that would be a shame on our part.

My expectations were shattered in a very harsh way. Now in my 30's, I realize I could meet anyone on earth and they could potentially be "it". (don't go hiding under a rock, I'm not actively searching right now :D) What I mean is, the three things above haven't changed. I want those. Everything else is sideline gravy.

My question to you is, what has changed or what hasn't changed as life has progressed for you?
 
allforfun said:
We all have had our expectations/check list/buck list of qualities that we want in a partner. Some of those things never change.

1. Loyalty
2. Dependability
3. Reliability

Are mine. Those haven't changed. But in my 20's, I had a much larger expectation. Then, I came to realize that was very limiting to God and to me. Paul was one of the prolific changed lives in the Bible but if we just looked at his past and dismissed him, that would be a shame on our part.

My expectations were shattered in a very harsh way. Now in my 30's, I realize I could meet anyone on earth and they could potentially be "it". (don't go hiding under a rock, I'm not actively searching right now :D) What I mean is, the three things above haven't changed. I want those. Everything else is sideline gravy.

My question to you is, what has changed or what hasn't changed as life has progressed for you?
Click to expand...

I used to have a LONG list of things I wanted in a guy down to what I wanted him to look like and even SMELL like.

After a lot of boyfriends later, I realized that those little things didn't matter. I needed to touch base with reality. Because in all honesty who cares if he doesn't wear Old Spice an wears Axe instead? I definitely want those 3 things that you stated along with a strong relationship with Christ, someone who loves children (because of my son) and has a very strong bond with his family, (because of the strong bond I have with mine) who has a deep love for animals (since I live on a farm, naturally I want someone who wants that) and who is someone who will protect me and my son from harm (meaning my psychotic ex who used to beat me that still stalks me even though I have a restraining order on him).... and who will also kill the spiders that crawl on the walls and not scream like a little girl when he see's them. That last one is a must!
 
Whyllow said:
I used to have a LONG list of things I wanted in a guy down to what I wanted him to look like and even SMELL like.
Click to expand...

I did the same thing when I was fifteen. I had a list of around 30-40 traits my "future husband" must have or else, no way he'd be my husband. I'm laughing just thinking about it. I remember writing the list over in fancy handwriting and placing it under my pillow every night because I thought it was special and back then it was.

I did list "He must be Christian" as a must but now that has changed. As Julliana stated in a different thread, definitions of being a "Christian" vary and it can be quite startling once you understand that definition. I could think __________ is what a Christian should be yet another person may have an idea that shatters the electromagnetic spectrum.

I've basically scrapped the whole list because, if someone is a true follower of Christ, they'll have the majority of the qualities listed (if not, it'll come with time). And I agree with the original post, I'd place those qualities under trustworthy.
 
lightbliss said:
I did the same thing when I was fifteen. I had a list of around 30-40 traits my "future husband" must have or else, no way he'd be my husband. I'm laughing just thinking about it. I remember writing the list over in fancy handwriting and placing it under my pillow every night because I thought it was special and back then it was.

I did list "He must be Christian" as a must but now that has changed. As Julliana stated in a different thread, definitions of being a "Christian" vary and it can be quite startling once you understand that definition. I could think __________ is what a Christian should be yet another person may have an idea that shatters the electromagnetic spectrum.

I've basically scrapped the whole list because, if someone is a true follower of Christ, they'll have the majority of the qualities listed (if not, it'll come with time). And I agree with the original post, I'd place those qualities under trustworthy.
Click to expand...

Notice I said has a strong relationship with Christ and not "Christian". ^.^
 
I don't think I ever had a list when I was younger. Maybe because I married before I was smart enough to make a list, but God supplied anyway.

Now, it's this:

Spiritually mature and of like faith
MUST be the leader and not push it off on me
Family is important to him
Good communicator
Great sense of humor
Understands that we should never stop learning and growing
Not afraid to try new things
Must love dogs
Understands my need for quiet time and my passion for my work
 
I used to demand that anyone I would be interested in would have a strong and steady pulse, but now that I'm older? Pacemakers are okay, and I wouldn't rule out bringing along a portable defibrillator on our dates... It's amazing what we humans can get used to if we try.
 
Who doesn't like carrying a good defibrillator on a date? I have one in my trunk with the spare tire.
 
Then- A face and a body with arms and legs

Now- A face with arms and legs
 
Jullianna said:
*scraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaape* hahaha
Click to expand...

Soooo mean lol. but yeah ive given up looking for someone to fit the exact mold i had laid out for my perfect girlfriend/wife...so know everyone has a shot...even if that shot is a guranteed swing and a miss.
 
When I was younger I wanted a pretty brunette with fawn eyes, a bubbly personality, great legs and was a real headturner.
Now I just want someone whose caring and easy to get along with.
 
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