Is it Biblical to marry a divorced person?

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

2ndTimothyGroup

Well-known member
Feb 20, 2021
5,883
1,953
113
#41
Ahh then you are speaking outside of marriage. I understand. I don't know how a person can ever be satisfied going from person to person. There must be something in that person's life, or past, that needs to be healed.
I wasn't saved when I lived this lifestyle.
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
9,164
1,794
113
#42
And you have the proper view because you have been obedient. The sexual act is beautiful, but abusing that act by sleeping with multiple women, or even self-pleasuring, shows a complete lack of reverence for the lord and the single most important doctrine in the Bible . . . Spiritual Circumcision of the Heart.

I wish that I could give you five "Winner" ribbons.

Thanks.

I grew up being taught against 'self-pleasuring' as a young man. Looking through the Bible, I do not really see it addressed. It could assume certain terms in the Bible include it, like effeminate or lascivious, but it is not listed specifically anywhere that I am aware of, unless there is some real secret about the Greek or Hebrew. I am glad to be married. Also, if it shows up in the marriage bed to enable activity or help things along-- not wanting to be explicit or graphic--it would be kind of legalistic, IMO, to consider that to be sinful. It's not something I go around encouraging, but not something I see scripture as outright condemning.
 

2ndTimothyGroup

Well-known member
Feb 20, 2021
5,883
1,953
113
#43
Thanks.

I grew up being taught against 'self-pleasuring' as a young man. Looking through the Bible, I do not really see it addressed. It could assume certain terms in the Bible include it, like effeminate or lascivious, but it is not listed specifically anywhere that I am aware of, unless there is some real secret about the Greek or Hebrew. I am glad to be married. Also, if it shows up in the marriage bed to enable activity or help things along-- not wanting to be explicit or graphic--it would be kind of legalistic, IMO, to consider that to be sinful. It's not something I go around encouraging, but not something I see scripture as outright condemning.
I hear what you're saying. I do.

The side of things that I am failing to express well is this . . . what is the Mind of Christ? If Christ is God in the Flesh, then Christ is the author of the sexual relationship, for, He would be the author of life itself. Therefore, did Christ long for the sexual relationship? As the creator of the physical world, did His Omniscient, most better of ways long for the things done in the physical world? I promise to all this . . . not a chance.

I realize that the things I say are very difficult to understand, but I cannot help the fact that I had the most profound encounter with our Powerful, Almighty God. I have felt His Power to the degree that if I had felt more, I would have died. In this experience I realized many, many things, such as the Peace and Love of God is so Powerful, there is simply no need for the sexual relationship. The act of sex in itself is utter folly. It is a waste of time. For example . . . a person is drowning in a lake . . . is that the time to begin copulating? Or, do we even consider the thought of a sexual encounter, and rush to the person drowning in a lake? I would submit that even if it were a drowning animal, only a sick person would turn to the sexual relationship instead of saving an animal's life.

Dating apps are easy to understand. Everyone on a dating app that is looking for more than friendship . . . the primary interest is sex. We tell ourselves that if we don't see ourselves sexually attracted to a person, the reaction is, "Next" and we move on to the next photo or profile. A man says to himself, considering that a man's performance is not easy with a woman he isn't attracted to, "Can I become and stay aroused with this woman?" If the answer is no, then he has to move on, particularly if he's older and is developing a bit of PED. This is the main issue . . . the sexual relationship and "can I satisfy her with my body?"

I'm just cutting to the chase. I'm an older man and I hate the fact that we dance around this issue. Men want sex, and the older I have become, the more and more evident it became that so do women. And although I grew up in an era when women denied that they enjoyed it, the truth is . . . they do. So, we need to face the reality that we want relationships so that we can have our little, fleshly, worldly orgasms.

Is this the Mind of Christ? Is this how He thought while on earth? Is the Father, Son, and Spirit having sex in Heaven? Of course not . . . it is utter folly designed for silly humans. So . . . my profound experience left me with a deeper understanding of how God thinks, and less and less of like how [we] think. Because of that experience, I am forced to think more with the Mind of Christ rather than the mind of "David." (my personal name)

Romans 8:13 NKJV - "For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live."

1 Peter 4:6 NKJV - "For this reason the gospel was preached also to those who are dead, that they might be judged according to men in the flesh, but live according to God in the spirit."

Are those passages above to be taken seriously? Are we learning to think according to the Spirit that is [supposed] to be Indwelling us? Have we really changed? Have we really been Transformed? Or, does Romans 12:2 just seem like "Reader's Digest" material as well? Are we really taking the Word of God seriously?

Folks . . . what is YOUR Roman's 12:2 Transformation story? Who, I dare ask, has been transformed from a crawling bug to a beautiful butterfly? Do tell below . . .
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#44
an orgasm is NOTHING compared to the peace that passes all understanding that you get with God.

orgasms are kind of like being high on drugs...you feel all happy for like 2 minutes or so (or however long it took you to get a 'hit' ) but the trip or comedown plus the emotional fallout is so great that its not even worth it. (but you MIGHT create a baby with it...oops!)

And lots of people have been on bad trips. Plus it doesnt really matter who you do it with (or even yourself or the same sex) because the bodily response is the same. Thats why sex can be divorced from love as one can have great sex and not even love or care for the person they do it with.
 
Jan 15, 2022
271
24
18
#45
I read this, and I want to say, 'Yuck.' It reminds me of the horror stories of false prophecies where one person prophesies to another that 'she is not supposed to be your wife' or 'he is not supposed to be your husband.' When John the Baptist told Herod, "It is not lawful for thee to have her" he was prophesying to a man who had married his divorced brother's wife while his brother was still alive. This was contrary to the law in scripture.

I believe God can direct people, and can direct people to marry. He can give dreams, visions, prophecies, and speak to people's hearts. But for marriage, you don't have to get a word from God, either. 'If you marry you have not sinned...' and the widow may marry whomsoever she wills, but only in the Lord. If God doesn't give specific direction and we ask for wisdom in faith without doubting, then we get it. If we trust in the Lord with all our hearts and lean not to our own understanding, in all our ways acknowledge Him, then He will direct our paths.

God ordained marriage. What if someone goes into a marriage that fits God's laws and precepts-- marries someone who is not bound in marriage to someone else, honorably, the wife given in marriage-- but God had warned one about marrying the other. Would that make the marriage invalid? I do not believe so.

Consider another example in scripture. God commanded Israel to wipe out the Canaanites. But Israel foolishly believed some Canaanites, Gibeonites, who said they were from a far country and made a covenant with them. So they were not allowed to kill Gibeonites after that. When Saul killed them, Israel faced a drought for breaking covenant.

I remember when I was younger, I had an older female friend who said you have to be very careful to marry the person God has for you or you might have to get a divorce and marry the right person. I think i corrected her. It was hard to get a word in edgewise. But that is really wrong-headed thinking. She had heard testimonies of people who told of how God said that is your husband, that is your wife. And if that is legit, that is great. My wife had that experience right before our first conversation. I went home praying about if she was going to be my wife, but it would be a little longer before I sensed some kind of 'God told me' type situation.

If you make a mistake in choice of spouse, committing adultery, not providing for your own, not rendering due benevolence, disobeying Jesus' teaching about divorce, or the commandment of the Lord through Paul about not putting away your wife are NOT a solution about it.

Also, a feeling of peace can also be just not being around a stressful situation. Peace is a fruit of the Spirit. But notice when Jesus was about to face the cross and bearing our sin, He experienced some intense emotions in the garden of Gethsemene that do not seem like they were very pleasant when we read about them. He was about to face righteous suffering, and was in the midst of it on an emotional level. We should appreciate peace as a fruit of the Spirit, but we should not disregard the teaching of the Bible in favor of good feelings.
If someone
Was she divorced? Were you?

If you marry and separate from your wife, don't marry or sleep with someone else. Provide for her and your child and be in your child's life. You would be neglecting the 'do not defraud' instruction in this situation.

Marriages aren't valid because God specifically authorizes someone to marry another. He set it up where fathers could give their daughters in marriage.

I would not have married an SDA, either, certaiinly not someone die hard into it. That's too big of a theological gap.
I gave her my address and told her to go for maintenance through the courts, then it would be official. I wanted to do the right thing. She went to the courts and lied, said she did not know where I lived, got a maintenance order made without my knowledge, for more than it would have been set at if they knew my circumstances. I didnt find out it had been made for a year, the debt under it kept piling up. She never told me of the order until she was forced to. Not bad for someone who insists you must obey the ten commandments. Always the same, oh well
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
9,164
1,794
113
#46
I realize that the things I say are very difficult to understand, but I cannot help the fact that I had the most profound encounter with our Powerful, Almighty God. I have felt His Power to the degree that if I had felt more, I would have died. In this experience I realized many, many things, such as the Peace and Love of God is so Powerful, there is simply no need for the sexual relationship. The act of sex in itself is utter folly. It is a waste of time. For example . . . a person is drowning in a lake . . . is that the time to begin copulating? Or, do we even consider the thought of a sexual encounter, and rush to the person drowning in a lake? I would submit that even if it were a drowning animal, only a sick person would turn to the sexual relationship instead of saving an animal's life.
If God has given you grace to be celibate, that is good. That may be the higher calling. But 'two shall be one flesh' speaks of Christ and the church and if married couples can experience more of the knowledge of Christ through their marriage, that is good, too.

If I were in a boat and someone fell out and were drowning, I probably wouldn't lay down and go to sleep or have a meal, but I would do such things in less urgent times. There is a place in life for these activities, and for married couples, there is a place for rendering 'due benevolence.' It also keeps the human race going.

Dating apps are easy to understand. Everyone on a dating app that is looking for more than friendship . . . the primary interest is sex. We tell ourselves that if we don't see ourselves sexually attracted to a person, the reaction is, "Next" and we move on to the next photo or profile. A man says to himself, considering that a man's performance is not easy with a woman he isn't attracted to, "Can I become and stay aroused with this woman?" If the answer is no, then he has to move on, particularly if he's older and is developing a bit of PED. This is the main issue . . . the sexual relationship and "can I satisfy her with my body?"
I was married before dating phone apps were developed. Internet dating was in its infancy, and I met my wife in 'real life.' But as far as attraction for a woman I might date or marry, I'd consider whether I thought she was attractive or pretty to me. That doesn't mean I would think about whether I would want to sleep with her. If one were in the habit of sleeping around, that might be the way he thinks.

Is this the Mind of Christ? Is this how He thought while on earth? Is the Father, Son, and Spirit having sex in Heaven? Of course not . . . it is utter folly designed for silly humans. So . . . my profound experience left me with a deeper understanding of how God thinks, and less and less of like how [we] think. Because of that experience, I am forced to think more with the Mind of Christ rather than the mind of "David." (my personal name)
God made male and female and said it is good. He also said be fruitful and multiply. This is a good thing in its proper place. In the future, in the resurrection there will be no marrying and giving in marriage, but in our current state, it is a good thing in its proper place.
 

2ndTimothyGroup

Well-known member
Feb 20, 2021
5,883
1,953
113
#47
If God has given you grace to be celibate, that is good. That may be the higher calling. But 'two shall be one flesh' speaks of Christ and the church and if married couples can experience more of the knowledge of Christ through their marriage, that is good, too.

If I were in a boat and someone fell out and were drowning, I probably wouldn't lay down and go to sleep or have a meal, but I would do such things in less urgent times. There is a place in life for these activities, and for married couples, there is a place for rendering 'due benevolence.' It also keeps the human race going.



I was married before dating phone apps were developed. Internet dating was in its infancy, and I met my wife in 'real life.' But as far as attraction for a woman I might date or marry, I'd consider whether I thought she was attractive or pretty to me. That doesn't mean I would think about whether I would want to sleep with her. If one were in the habit of sleeping around, that might be the way he thinks.



God made male and female and said it is good. He also said be fruitful and multiply. This is a good thing in its proper place. In the future, in the resurrection there will be no marrying and giving in marriage, but in our current state, it is a good thing in its proper place.
Well, I think that we need to conclude our discussion. I am not of the type to go round and round . . . particularly when it comes to teachings that I don't think are realized in Scripture.

1 Corinthians 7:28 NLT - "But if you do get married, it is not a sin. And if a young woman gets married, it is not a sin. However, those who get married at this time will have troubles, and I am trying to spare you those problems."

It's so crystal clear . . . the above troubles of marriage. There just isn't any reason to continue onward in conversation. Take care.
 
S

SophieT

Guest
#48
The Apostle Paul teaches that if you are a True Christian, and if you happen to be single . . . remain in that position. The point is to offer yourself as a living sacrifice to the Lord and to not be divided in your professed dedication.

Is Jesus our Master . . . or not? Is Jesus the object of our Faith and lives . . . or not?
a 'true' Christian?

if everyone had remained single since that portion of scripture was written, we might very well not be here right now

Paul is also clear that most do not have the calling to be single
 
S

SophieT

Guest
#49
I believe, if God specifically shows someone they should not marry a particular person and they go ahead and marry the person anyway, in disobedience to God, God may not wish them to remain in the marriage.
You cannot say to God.:
I have disobeyed you, BUT now you will have to bless my marriage because you do not want people to divorce
right

we cannot override the will of another person...although to be sure some people pray AT another rather than to God and trusting Him

disobedience to the known will of God never ends well
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
9,164
1,794
113
#50
Well, I think that we need to conclude our discussion. I am not of the type to go round and round . . . particularly when it comes to teachings that I don't think are realized in Scripture.

1 Corinthians 7:28 NLT - "But if you do get married, it is not a sin. And if a young woman gets married, it is not a sin. However, those who get married at this time will have troubles, and I am trying to spare you those problems."

It's so crystal clear . . . the above troubles of marriage. There just isn't any reason to continue onward in conversation. Take care.
Paul says one is gifted after this manner and another after that, so some are gifted to marry and some are gifted to stay celibate. There are benefits to both. Paul urges celibacy over marriage if one is able.
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
9,164
1,794
113
#51
I believe, if God specifically shows someone they should not marry a particular person and they go ahead and marry the person anyway, in disobedience to God, God may not wish them to remain in the marriage.
You cannot say to God.:
I have disobeyed you, BUT now you will have to bless my marriage because you do not want people to divorce
What about the person who says, "I have disobeyed your direct revelation to me by getting married, so now I am going to disobey what you have revealed in scripture by getting divorce."?
 
S

SophieT

Guest
#52
I will add this: When a person Truly understands Fear of the Lord, the sexual experience seems absolutely stupid. The idea of intercourse seems childish. Furthermore, should a circumcised man really feel comfortable doing "that" with the very mark of the Lord's covenant inscribed on his member? No . . . the thought of it should become repulsive. Any circumcised man, who Truly understands that his "member" reflects the Circumcision of Christ, he should view that sexual act as something other than what it is.
yeah well you won't find any of that in scripture. you will find this though:

1Now the Spirit expressly states that in later times some will abandon the faith to follow deceitful spirits and the teachings of demons, 2influenced by the hypocrisy of liars, whose consciences are seared with a hot iron.

3They will prohibit marriage and require abstinence from certain foods that God has created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth. 4For every creation of God is good, and nothing that is received with thanksgiving should be rejected, 5because it is sanctified by the word of God and prayer. I Timothy 4

perhaps reflect on what you think and understand it is not of God as evidenced by the verses above

next,, a physical 'mark' was given to Israel....we are to have hearts that are spiritually circumcised. you are telling yourself some nonsense here but that is your option if it helps you along

however, Christians have no such instructions.
 

2ndTimothyGroup

Well-known member
Feb 20, 2021
5,883
1,953
113
#53
Paul says one is gifted after this manner and another after that, so some are gifted to marry and some are gifted to stay celibate. There are benefits to both. Paul urges celibacy over marriage if one is able.
I hear what you're saying. However I don't recall ever seeing a passage anywhere in the Bible where marriage is an advantage. That said, I have never collected, organized and studied passages that deal specifically with marriage. I've scoured the Bible word for word multiple times looking for specific Doctrine, but never marriage. Thus I acknowledge that I could be wrong.
 
Jan 15, 2022
271
24
18
#54
What about the person who says, "I have disobeyed your direct revelation to me by getting married, so now I am going to disobey what you have revealed in scripture by getting divorce."?
Yes, it was weakness and disobedience to get married when I was shown otherwise, absolutely, I would not seek to hide from that. But did I disobey God by getting a divorce? Well if you have made your mind up I did, then there would be little point in my saying anything. However. I got down on my knees and asked God to end the marriage if that is what he wanted. When my wife got pregnant, and refused to agree to my request, I got down on my knees and asked God to bring her to change her mind if He wanted us to remain married. She remained inflexible, remarkably so in the circumstances. The day I left, I knew I was leaving to return to my own country with no where to live when I got there. That was not so easy, to give up a home for what faced me. And it was painful to leave anyway. I was on a tram, heading for the port to get a boat home, not knowing actually where to get off the tram to get a bus to the port. So I asked God's help. Instinctively at one tram stop I got off the tram and noticed a bus stop opposite. I went there and was surprised to find I could get a bus straight to the port. As I awaited the bus, I so nearly returned to my wife, it was touch and go at one point, but when it was almost unbearable the bus turned up. I was early when I got to the port, and faced a four hour wait for the boat, four hours to consider whether I might return to my wife. However, the women at reception told me I could change my ticket to an earlier boat and leave right away.
When I got off the boat, I had no where to live for three months, but never did return. And all I can say is, God has blessed me greatly since, and he kept me safe when I had nowhere to live. And at my age, I know if I had of gone against God by leaving, I would not have been blessed for it, as I wasn't by getting married in the first. I know, I would never in my own strength have been able to leave, never.
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
9,164
1,794
113
#55
Yes, it was weakness and disobedience to get married when I was shown otherwise, absolutely, I would not seek to hide from that. But did I disobey God by getting a divorce? Well if you have made your mind up I did, then there would be little point in my saying anything. However. I got down on my knees and asked God to end the marriage if that is what he wanted. When my wife got pregnant, and refused to agree to my request, I got down on my knees and asked God to bring her to change her mind if He wanted us to remain married. She remained inflexible, remarkably so in the circumstances. The day I left, I knew I was leaving to return to my own country with no where to live when I got there. That was not so easy, to give up a home for what faced me. And it was painful to leave anyway. I was on a tram, heading for the port to get a boat home, not knowing actually where to get off the tram to get a bus to the port. So I asked God's help. Instinctively at one tram stop I got off the tram and noticed a bus stop opposite. I went there and was surprised to find I could get a bus straight to the port. As I awaited the bus, I so nearly returned to my wife, it was touch and go at one point, but when it was almost unbearable the bus turned up. I was early when I got to the port, and faced a four hour wait for the boat, four hours to consider whether I might return to my wife. However, the women at reception told me I could change my ticket to an earlier boat and leave right away.
When I got off the boat, I had no where to live for three months, but never did return. And all I can say is, God has blessed me greatly since, and he kept me safe when I had nowhere to live. And at my age, I know if I had of gone against God by leaving, I would not have been blessed for it, as I wasn't by getting married in the first. I know, I would never in my own strength have been able to leave, never.
God provides for all kinds of people all over the world. He makes the sun to rise on the just and the unjust. Pagans harvest crops. Satanists eat at restaurants. Drug dealers go on vacations.

What does the Bible say? Let not the husband put away his wife. What does the Bible say about a man providing for his own?
 
Jan 15, 2022
271
24
18
#56
God provides for all kinds of people all over the world. He makes the sun to rise on the just and the unjust. Pagans harvest crops. Satanists eat at restaurants. Drug dealers go on vacations.

What does the Bible say? Let not the husband put away his wife. What does the Bible say about a man providing for his own?
We are going to go around in circles. I assume your belief must be, that if a man marries when God has specifically told them not to, for that is not His will for their life, the man can turn and tell God He will have to bless the marriage now because he must not leave his wife. As to your second point, there is more I could explain, much more, but am not persuaded I should. All I can say is, I immediatley sought to sort out maintenance. The reason it took so long is because my wife perjured herself before the courts, and did not tell me a maintenance case had taken place when it had
 

2ndTimothyGroup

Well-known member
Feb 20, 2021
5,883
1,953
113
#57
As to your second point, there is more I could explain, much more, but am not persuaded I should.
Great job. We, as a group, need to back down much more often. This will show the world that we love each other.
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
9,164
1,794
113
#58
We are going to go around in circles. I assume your belief must be, that if a man marries when God has specifically told them not to, for that is not His will for their life, the man can turn and tell God He will have to bless the marriage now because he must not leave his wife. As to your second point, there is more I could explain, much more, but am not persuaded I should. All I can say is, I immediatley sought to sort out maintenance. The reason it took so long is because my wife perjured herself before the courts, and did not tell me a maintenance case had taken place when it had
If God warns a man against marrying a certain woman and he marries her anyway and they have a baby, is the man justified in killing the baby?

How does pne sin justify another?

If God's laws about murder apply in this situation, why wouldn't the teachings of Christ about divorce not apply?
 

2ndTimothyGroup

Well-known member
Feb 20, 2021
5,883
1,953
113
#59
If God warns a man against marrying a certain woman and he marries her anyway and they have a baby, is the man justified in killing the baby?
Yikes. Why can't we just be friendly and get along?