Does God choose your spouse or do you with God's guidance?

[presidente]

Many cultures had "dowries" and/or arranged marriages. It's not a new concept.

Yes, and English and much of American culture has it's own vestiges of it with the father of the bride paying for the wedding.

We should not fault God's law for having a bride price for virgin. The question is whether our marriage customs are righteous enough for not having a bride price for virgins.

 

[TheIndianGirl]

What is the purpose of the bride price? Is it a gift to the girl's family, or is it only a penalty for rape or fornication?

 

[presidente]

What is the purpose of the bride price? Is it a gift to the girl's family, or is it only a penalty for rape or fornication?

The bride price for virgins was given to the father as a means of a man covenanting to take the virgin ad wife. A rapist or seducer would be compelled to pay whether he was allowed to marry her or not.

 

[Lanolin]

Yes. After my Damascus-Road-like Spiritual Experience, at one point, I lost 100% of all former friends and family members. No joke. Multiple times I would ask myself, "Is there REALLY no one in my cell directory that I can call and talk to?"

My level of persecution over the last five years is worthy of Movie Status . . . and at least Documentary Status. What has happened to me can only be attributed to the Almighty Power of God. To be hated so much is to recognize the Power of God in my life. Incredibly, I feel like the luckiest man on the planet!

Slowly, the Lord is reviving old relationships . . . whew . . . which feels good, let me tell you.

Matthew 5:10-12 KJV - "Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute [you], and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you."

My own religious leaders and family members have openly mocked me on Facebook. Nice! I love it.

Also Psalm 1:1

Im not that much of a masochist but I think any new christian has got to be prepared for that baptism of fire...of people not liking you because you follow Jesus...but it does not mean you will stay there. I can say from experience it does get better

The Lord will bring you new friends and family who like you and love you because you do follow Him.

 

[Lanolin]

Many cultures had "dowries" and/or arranged marriages. It's not a new concept.

exactly

the fact that people are now asking who chooses your spouse seems strange when for centuries it was always the parents or a matchmaker

Rebakah didnt actively choose Isaac. She was told a man wanted to marry her, her parents then asked her if she wanted to go and be married and she said yes. She didnt actually choose Isaac as shed never met him before. .

 

[Lanolin]

Plus they were first cousins

it had all be arranged prior when God wanted Isaac to marry someone within the family

 

[2ndTimothyGroup]

Also Psalm 1:1

Im not that much of a masochist but I think any new christian has got to be prepared for that baptism of fire...of people not liking you because you follow Jesus...but it does not mean you will stay there. I can say from experience it does get better

The Lord will bring you new friends and family who like you and love you because you do follow Him.

Thank you so much for your encouragement . . . how refreshing!

Actually, the Lord seems to be reviving old relationships which has reduced much frustration. As soon as I can pass this difficult exam that I'm facing, and find myself back into the employment world (and have something to do other than think to myself), I expect things to be less stressful. Thanks again!

 

[Cyberm]

I believe the husbands are thankful but they take the wives for granted; a lot of husbands cannot survive without the wife. However, they won't realize this until they have been apart from the wife. They wouldn't eat healthy meals, will wear dirty clothes, keep the home untidy, etc. However, a man who has always been single or has been single for awhile may be more self-sufficient. I know an older man (early 60s) who recently married a woman in her early 40s from another country and they had a child. However, he was clear that the wife should do most of the work including raising the baby simply because he was older (he has wanted a child for awhile though). His belief is that she should do most of the work because she is younger, even though he is retired. I am not sure if the wife works. So in his case, not sure how thankful he would be.

Honestly, if you need to rely on someone else to the extent where you can’t function without them, maybe you shouldn’t even have a wife. If without your wife you can’t cook, clean, and keep yourself functioning, trust me you don’t deserve a wife. That is not an issue of “not being appreciative”, it’s an issue of relying on one person far too often.

 

[TheIndianGirl]

The bride price for virgins was given to the father as a means of a man covenanting to take the virgin ad wife. A rapist or seducer would be compelled to pay whether he was allowed to marry her or not.

I believe bride price is (was) more tradition than anything else when it comes to marriage and not a matter of righteousness except in instances of rape or fornication (where the man must pay a penalty). I don't think we should follow Jacob's case as a prime example of bride price; Laban was a non-believe remember and he was a trickster.

 

[presidente]

I believe the husbands are thankful but they take the wives for granted; a lot of husbands cannot survive without the wife. However, they won't realize this until they have been apart from the wife. They wouldn't eat healthy meals, will wear dirty clothes, keep the home untidy, etc. However, a man who has always been single or has been single for awhile may be more self-sufficient.

My wife is away on a family-related trip and has been for a while. We are getting by. Two of my girls are teens, but are pretty good cooks-- kind of slow at it, but good food. My wife is an excellent cook. I get by okay, but my kids get sick of stir fry, greens, and soups. I've been doing low-carb. The house might be a little messier than it is when my wife is around, but there is one less person working on it. We miss her cooking, and of course, most of all, her.

 

[2ndTimothyGroup]

We may THINK that we're making specific choices, but we make the choices we make because the Lord has an Almighty and Mysterious Plan.

Reject it if you like, but I'm not going to worry about anything left in this life, for His Son has purchased me . . . and my days are determined just as were Saul's when he was informed of how much he would suffer for the sake and name of Jesus.

Acts 9:15-16 NIV - "But the Lord said to Ananias, "Go! This man is my chosen instrument to proclaim my name to the Gentiles and their kings and to the people of Israel. 16 I will show him how much he must suffer for my name."

Is someone really going to tell me that Paul had a choice to deny this Holy Edict of the Lord? Paul could have become some ultra-pimp and completely deviated from the Plan of God? Impossible. Anyone who suggests such a thing is totally, COMPLETELY unaware of the Almighty Power of our Omniscient God. Below is a classic example and so clearly written:

Revelation 17:17 NLT - "For God has put a plan into their minds, a plan that will carry out his purposes. They will agree to give their authority to the scarlet beast, and so the words of God will be fulfilled."

Anyone who understands the Old Testament will tell you that this is what God was doing from the very beginning. The Old Testament is littered with example after example of the Lord controlling the minds of not only humans, but of animals.

 

[2ndTimothyGroup]

And king Abimelech? Did he realize that the Lord caused him to not sexually “touch” Sarah, Abraham’s wife? Are we familiar with the Old Testament and the operations of our Powerful, Almighty God? And, do we really think that the Lord has somehow changed over these thousands of years? I submit that He has not.

Genesis 20:2-6 NET - "Abraham said about his wife Sarah, "She is my sister." So Abimelech, king of Gerar, sent for Sarah and took her. But God appeared to Abimelech in a dream at night and said to him, "You are as good as dead because of the woman you have taken, for she is someone else's wife." Now Abimelech had not gone near her. He said, "Lord, would you really slaughter an innocent nation? Did Abraham not say to me, 'She is my sister'? And she herself said, 'He is my brother.' I have done this with a clear conscience and with innocent hands!" Then in the dream God replied to him, "Yes, I know that you have done this with a clear conscience. That is why I have kept you from sinning against me and why I did not allow you to touch her."

Did the Lord reserve Sarah to remain as Abraham’s wife? Did king Abimelech know that the Lord was controlling his mind so that he would not “touch her”? Did the king actually believe that he had made the choice to not put a finger upon her? Would the king have told you that it was based upon [his] free will that he elected to keep his distance? What about Sarah while she was in his custody? Did Sarah know that her body was being protected by the Lord? And Abraham? Was he aware? Of course not, for in verses 7-11 we find that Abraham thought that he would be killed if Abimelech had found out that they were husband and wife, thus the Righteous, Pure, and Holy man lied. No one knew that God was in control. King Abimelech thought and believed that he was making the decisions around whether to become intimate with Sarah, but what he did not realize is that God was at his mental helm.

And yourself? Do you really disbelieve that God isn’t doing this with you? Do you really believe that He has left us to fend for ourselves . . . that he has left us alone? Do you folks not realize how in control He truly is over all of His creation? Does it really make sense that there could be an Eternal Plan, yet we don’t have to follow it at all? Is that reasonable? Is it rational to suggest that God has a plan that involves humanity, but that it doesn't involve human thought and action . . . the things we do?

Was the prayer below the prayer of a lunatic? Or, is Jesus the Son of David?

Psalm 141:3 NLT - "Take control of what I say, O LORD, and guard my lips."

Matthew 1:1 KJV - "The book of the generation of Jesus Christ, the son of David, the son of Abraham."

Why would David pray such a prayer if there were no indication that this was the Way of his God? Do you all mean to say that you don't ask that God take control over your life? Do you not ask Him to control your own tongue? Do you not ask the Lord for His help? Do you not ask that He would help the minds and decisions of your teenagers? In an adulterous marriage, do you victims of adultery not turn to God, asking, praying, and even begging that God would intervene?

You folks say that you all are in control, yet we ALL know that you ALL ask God for help. Yet incredibly, this thread is filled with self-willed decisions, extending the Lord with virtually no credit. How can we be this way? How can we be double-minded? How can we speak out of both corners of our mouths?

"I decide ALL things in my life!" Sure, right up to the point when we ask Him for help.

 

[2ndTimothyGroup]

Realizing that the Lord has been in control of your life is much like sleeping . . . we have to become aware that we were asleep. And how do we know that we've been asleep? We don't know until we actually wake up.

Realizing that God has been in control of your mind and thoughts operates in the same way. The day you come to know the True Power of the Lord; the Holy Day that you feel Him in a Powerful and measurable way . . . then you will know that He is the Lord! Then you will know that He has been guiding and leading you . . . causing you to think in certain ways that lead to what [you] believe are your decisions.

 

[Genipher]

Realizing that the Lord has been in control of your life is much like sleeping . . . we have to become aware that we were asleep. And how do we know that we've been asleep? We don't know until we actually wake up.

Well, unless a person is a lucid dreamer. Has happened to me a couple of times...

 

[2ndTimothyGroup]

Well, unless a person is a lucid dreamer. Has happened to me a couple of times...

Of course . . . but that defies the point.

 

[Elize]

I Believe If God knew us before we were even born, given that we have free will to make our own choices - I think God wants you to seek him out and then the rest will follow after. You "Could" make the decision to get married to anyone.. but It would be good for a person to seek out and Discern.. pray.. ask for wisdom. Go to God.. before you make your final decision. You can do things the hard way.. or the easy way. None the less.. God knows everything.. but he wants you to come to him. He wants good things for his children. it talks about being equally yoked in the bible as well as litterally Tells you what Love is .. love is patient, love is kind.. ect. if you cant replace a individuals name in that.. you can bet they probably dont have the fruit of the spirit.. and if they dont have the fruit of the spirit.. then.. what do they have? It says you will know a person by their fruits.. and every fruit a person has .. will.. bear fruit.. weather good or bad. Be diligent and discerning. You can love a person.. but will that person go down the path God wants for you?.. i ask this. because.. God comes first.. then spouse.. if they arnt seeking Jesus in your relationship.. its going to nit go as well. don't be unequally yoked.!!

 

[Naamini]

Amos 3:3 can two walk together unless they agree?

In so much that God can reveal about your potential spouse the other party has freewill to choose.


Then because of High calling purposes. Eg Samson there was a reason his parents didn't want him to marry "Delilah clan." Samson exercised his freewill and then the consequences.

Every choice has consequences. Whether good or bad.


If God is faithful Father to His children, He will protect them from bad choices.(unequal yokes). Whether the children want to obey or not, He has done His righteous work.



There's one person in church who was in worship team. She prayed for husband and the worship leader asked him for her hand in marriage. Some intercessors were sent to warn this girl not to accept that proposal. She didn't heed to the intercessors and she was married.

After few months in marriage, the husband came home and put a gun on the table and told her that this was their source of income. She was so shocked that his husband was a thug too.

So she remembered the intercessors warning before marriage. Because of shame she tried to hide but oh sin cannot be hidden forever. She was tired of that life and sought council from her pastor.

The devil is also very active in evil matchmaking. Using love spells or love portions curse. Prying on believers to pollute a godly offspring. So I believe God can intervene for his faithful children.


Then the question here is, who wants wisdom and knowledge before marriage? Pray and ask God who gives bread and not a stone.

In the end the steps of a righteous man are ordered of the Lord Jesus.

 

[Beckie]

Jack was about 20 years old . He wanted to marry Wonda. He was getting frustrated like a young man would .. He was a christian man praying and praying, That night he prayed something like Lord if Wonda is not right for me let me know. When he woke her photo was on the floor the glass broken . He came bouncing down the stairs Beck Beck God sent me a sign... He really did He really did . A couple days later he got a call from Terry a wonderful christian girl he had met about a year before .. They celebrated 51 years together a month ago..

 

[Xolani]

Wow good topic, well heard someone say God is not in the match making business...no I totally disagree. Well we must understand that marriage was designed by God for us and as the scripture say that initially He made For Adam a suitable * helper. Well here in SA there are testimonials of people that God married by a direct lead from God so it was that way nd still is .

 

[Xolani]

I mean the Scripture says God made for Adam a suitable Helper*. Marriage was initiated by God in Adam n Eve. Well God is involved in Christians who want His Will and He gives them direct revelations if they will wait for Him in prayer. There are many testimonials here in SA of people who got married being directed By God's voice through revelations