Frustrated
- Thread starter Buckle
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Relationships are enhanced when healthy boundaries are established and respected. Your complaint seems to be that your wife does not pay enough attention to you, nor heed your council, and even reneges on mutual agreements. Did she have her earbuds in when you began explaining this thing to her? That may be a good place to start: do not attempt to talk to someone who is not paying attention in the first place. Or did she put them in after you began your explanation?
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The fact that I am trying to help from different perspective to you does not mean that it’s okay for you to be rude to me. I don’t like the way you are speaking to me; it’s actually disrespectful. The conversation is between the OP and myself, I didn’t address you and would prefer you not to involve yourself with me please.
I've been where you are brother, except without children thankfully. A couple of realizations that helped me were:
1) By staying with my toxic, narcissistic ex, I was not only destroying myself and wasting the gifts that God had given me, I was also further enabling her toxic behavior by preventing her from experiencing the full consequences of her actions.
2) I am not her Savior. No matter how much I sacrificed myself for her, I would never be able to change her or save her. I had to let go of that seemingly noble, yet prideful (and ultimately, sinful) notion, and let God deal with her Himself.
1) By staying with my toxic, narcissistic ex, I was not only destroying myself and wasting the gifts that God had given me, I was also further enabling her toxic behavior by preventing her from experiencing the full consequences of her actions.
2) I am not her Savior. No matter how much I sacrificed myself for her, I would never be able to change her or save her. I had to let go of that seemingly noble, yet prideful (and ultimately, sinful) notion, and let God deal with her Himself.
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@inukubo I mostly agree and came to same realizations years ago but I couldn’t leave my kids. What kind of man would I be to make myself comfortable while my kids stay behind and learn to lie and manipulate people? I had to stay and fight for them and the truth no matter how hard. Basically the system now favors women whose lies are believed with no questions nor proof. All a woman needs to do is accuse a man and he is guilty no questions asked, the only thing my ruthless wife didn’t account for is that my kids grew up and can see through her lies now, so I now have 2 adult witnesses and my third child will be an adult in a few years. She is so used to getting away with lies and manipulation she just assumed our kids would follow her like our friends, family, and counselors who only see what she programs them to “see”. My kids however “see” everything so they can’t be fooled by her anymore like every one outside our home. The saddest part is she is so good at manipulating she is not likely to ever experience the full consequences of her actions. Please pray for my kids and their future spouses who will also have to deal with her.
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