Purity in a Relationship

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Rissa77

Guest
#41
#41
allforfun said:
Second and third picture down.

This couple took the no touching rule so far that the father put the engagement ring on her finger when he proposed, because they didn't want to become impure. Excuse, I had to extract my eyes from the back of my head.

I understand that couples don't want to go down the slippery slope of temptation. But if not touching is the solution, you have bigger problems that what that really suggests. You are throwing the baby out with the bathwater so to speak.
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It's not so much about sinning as it is about focus. The reason I support a no-touch relationship is because I want to be focused. Physical touch is my biggest love language, and that can easily blind me from seeing what's important and hearing God's direction.

And my fiance and I will be able to have some physical contact. By that time, I should already know he is the man I'm going to marry and won't have to worry about the focus thing so much.
 
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allforfun

Guest
#42
#42
Rissa77 said:
It's not so much about sinning as it is about focus. The reason I support a no-touch relationship is because I want to be focused. Physical touch is my biggest love language, and that can easily blind me from seeing what's important and hearing God's direction.

And my fiance and I will be able to have some physical contact. By that time, I should already know he is the man I'm going to marry and won't have to worry about the focus thing so much.
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I stand by my original statement that there is bigger problems than just temptation with this solution. I know you don't want to hear that though, so this is a big solution to fix a small problem. (not saying physical temptation is a "small problem, it just isn't as big as this implies)

But I think you can concede on the fact that this kind of relationship wouldn't work for 99% of people out there, not because we are so eager to share germ infested hands all day, but because if we don't share a special touch with the person we love, they really are no different in our lives than the people who serve you drinks at Starbucks.
 
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buckeyegirl700

Guest
#43
#43
I think it would be more than a facebook status because the couple would have made a commitment to be a couple until marriage. I wouldn't want to kiss someone that I was not married too because kissing would lead to more if not careful. I think it's a good ideal to wait. At my church as soon as teenagers become of age they get married.
 
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buckeyegirl700

Guest
#44
#44
Rissa77 said:
It's not so much about sinning as it is about focus. The reason I support a no-touch relationship is because I want to be focused. Physical touch is my biggest love language, and that can easily blind me from seeing what's important and hearing God's direction.

And my fiance and I will be able to have some physical contact. By that time, I should already know he is the man I'm going to marry and won't have to worry about the focus thing so much.
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I agree Rissa. It is like that for me too. I don't want to loose focus.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#45
Aug 2, 2009
24,653
4,316
113
#45
What gets me about this is that there are clear reasons why one shouldn't be promisciuous or have sex before marriage (unwanted pregnancy, STDs, fatherless children, etc..), but there are no clear reasons to avoid kissing unless you really really don't trust yourself when it comes to resisting sexual temptation. If thats the case, then I can understand but something tells me that is not the case here.

If you really want to focus on something in a relationship, focus on airing and working out your differences. You do have an idea of what your differences are I hope.
 
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allforfun

Guest
#46
#46
zeroturbulence said:
What gets me about this is that there are clear reasons why one shouldn't be promisciuous or have sex before marriage (unwanted pregnancy, STDs, fatherless children, etc..), but there are no clear reasons to avoid kissing unless you really really don't trust yourself when it comes to resisting sexual temptation. If thats the case, then I can understand but something tells me that is not the case here.

If you really want to focus on something in a relationship, focus on airing and working out your differences.
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I agree. The thing I have noticed is also, the people who are arguing for this kind of relationship are of the younger crowd. Just an observation of perspective that is interesting in my eyes.

And getting married as teens? Yikes. There is a statistic out there that I can find if someone wants me too that people who get married after 25 are less likely to divorce. Probably because they have done some self discovery. I hope the church they are in isn't advocating getting married just to have sexual temptation off the table. Because that makes my brain hurt.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#47
Aug 2, 2009
24,653
4,316
113
#47
allforfun said:
I agree. The thing I have noticed is also, the people who are arguing for this kind of relationship are of the younger crowd. Just an observation of perspective that is interesting in my eyes.

And getting married as teens? Yikes. There is a statistic out there that I can find if someone wants me too that people who get married after 25 are less likely to divorce. Probably because they have done some self discovery. I hope the church they are in isn't advocating getting married just to have sexual temptation off the table. Because that makes my brain hurt.
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I agreed with your other posts too by the way, and yes too about the success rate of marriages after 25. It is a known medical fact that the decision-making center of our brains (the cerebral cortex, a.k.a. frontal lobe) does not fully develop until the age of 25, so that would explain it.
 
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Rissa77

Guest
#48
#48
allforfun said:
I stand by my original statement that there is bigger problems than just temptation with this solution. I know you don't want to hear that though, so this is a big solution to fix a small problem. (not saying physical temptation is a "small problem, it just isn't as big as this implies)

But I think you can concede on the fact that this kind of relationship wouldn't work for 99% of people out there, not because we are so eager to share germ infested hands all day, but because if we don't share a special touch with the person we love, they really are no different in our lives than the people who serve you drinks at Starbucks.
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I agree that it's NOT for everyone. I don't suggest people do it. I really don't. This is something God laid on my heart over a year ago and He brought me someone with the same desire. It's only because I KNOW God has willed me to have a no-touch relationship that I can do it. His strength, not mine.

A few people have questioned whether two people without physical contact have anything more special than two close friends. But my question is.. if the physical contact is the only special thing, then what is special about your relationship in the first place? Just a hug? Just a kiss? No. You know this and so do I. Relationships are so much more than physical contact. In my relationship, it's the intent that is incredibly different. We are two friends seeking the possibility of marriage. We talk about things we normally wouldn't when we were "just friends." We go on dates. We see each other in different environments (with the family, at work, at college, with friends). We view situations and conversations from a different perspective than when we were "just friends."

If the one you're with gets nothing different than a kiss... IOW if they're treated no more special than a friend but that they get a kiss..., then there's really nothing special about your relationship at all. He/she is just a kissing partner you may have feelings toward. (Not directing this to you, persay, allforfun, but to anyone reading who thinks this way.)
 
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Cabbage

Guest
#49
#49
I agree with you Rissa77. I know that I am in the youger crowd, but that does not mean at all that I plan on getting married, now or even in a few years. I think 23-25 is a suitable age limit.
 
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persecuted

Banned
#50
Jun 15, 2011
308
0
0
#50
I think people should get married when they are young and dumb and then hopefully won't ever know any better. The older people get the more set in their ways they become until married life becomes an impossibiility for many. Also, women should get married in the early years of fertility so they can have as many ankle biters as possible.
 
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NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#51
#51
persecuted said:
I think people should get married when they are young and dumb and then hopefully won't ever know any better. The older people get the more set in their ways they become until married life becomes an impossibiility for many. Also, women should get married in the early years of fertility so they can have as many ankle biters as possible.
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well arent you just charming...... :rolleyes:
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#54
Aug 2, 2009
24,653
4,316
113
#54
This is a lot like trying to convince someone that they have a drinking problem.
 
P

persecuted

Banned
#56
Jun 15, 2011
308
0
0
#56
Tsk, tsk, I try so hard to be a complete troll and they are all still falling in love with me.
 
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princessbella

Guest
#57
#57
Modest as well as romantic and charming what girl wouldnt :D


persecuted said:
Tsk, tsk, I try so hard to be a complete troll and they are all still falling in love with me.
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VikkiKate89

VikkiKate89

Banned
#58
Jul 24, 2010
829
7
0
35
#58
Boanerges said:
Somebody said me once: "Think, When you get married, and you see an ex from you wife, you will see somebody who kissed your wife. And how many wive did you kiss?"
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Why would you care if in the end they're with you and chose you?
 
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persecuted

Banned
#60
Jun 15, 2011
308
0
0
#60
Nice picture, but my hair actually isn't quite that blue.
 
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