What is your favorite fruit?

[eXric]

Was trying to find a clever title that would not attract scammers or people with bad intension.

Was wondering do women get harassed a lot on CC, like men with un Christian like actions.
I am still new and getting used to the way thing work here.
Maybe some tips to avoid looking creepy. It feel like starting a private conversation with a single women seems intrusive. Do not know another way to ask a question. It might be how I ask the question. Like getting to person, are giving an unwanted compliment.
I am a bit socially awkward with with women and want to be more considerate to women.
Yeah it is not helpful to me to be told "be your self". Yes I do know about it takes to for people to get to know me.
Help a guy out, for me and others like me. Also helps other men to know this info so they do overwhelm women or act unchristian like with bad manners. Best to be polite and considerate to others tell they get to know is want i try to do.

 

[Lynx]

What kind of questions do you want to ask them?

 

[eXric]

Thanks for asking that Lynx. I should of refined it down to question before.

D. all the above
A. Was wondering do women get harassed a lot on CC, like men with un Christian like actions?
B. Have any tips to avoid looking creepy while writing stuff?
C. Is there better way to be more considerate to women?

 

[Deus_Vult]

Yes, there are some dudes looking for a girlfriend, and others that say weird stuff, that's why if you do any of the things i will say below, you will be automatically be considered a "degenerate" a "desperate" (even if you are not) because they receive so many messages from weird dudes that they will imagine that they are a unicorn and that you are one of those creepy dudes as well.

Don't give them compliments, don't send them private messages, don't ask them for social media or phone number, (unless you two know very well already and she wants you to ask for it). I think that's it.

 

[jennymae]

I think it’s mostly about getting to know each other in the forums. That takes quite some time, maybe years. What a person is saying in his or her posts over time can help you get a glimpse of said person’s intentions.

 

[eXric]

Yes, there are some dudes looking for a girlfriend, and others that say weird stuff, that's why if you do any of the things i will say below, you will be automatically be considered a "degenerate" a "desperate" (even if you are not) because they receive so many messages from weird dudes that they will imagine that they are a unicorn and that you are one of those creepy dudes as well.

Don't give them compliments, don't send them private messages, don't ask them for social media or phone number, (unless you two know very well already and she wants you to ask for it). I think that's it.

Yeah i did give compliments, and private messages at same time with one I got to lvl up to friend, which is cool
Other said she is praying about it. Yeah to old for girlfriend dating. Maybe hang out and talk to get to know each other as friend, before even thinking about more. defently praying and seeking God's leading.

 

[TamLynn]

I have never had someone harass me in the forums or private message.

I think if you interact with the woman on here like one of your sisters (if you don't have sisters think cousins, a friends sister, etc) you should be fine and non-creepy. 🙃

If you strike up a friendship with a lady or feel led to private message one, keep it simple (Small talk) in the beginning.
Don't be discouraged or upset if she doesn't respond immediately due to being busy with life.

It always bothers me when a man leads with questions such as...
Do you have children? How many?
Is your profile picture current?
Do you have a full body picture you could share with me? (I'm not referring to a 'nekked' one. 😅 Just one where he wants to judge if we are pretty enough to continue corresponding with).

I imagine you men get similar questions. 🤔

There really is something to just "being yourself" though." 🙏
I've made several good friends on here by being myself! (And I'm a bit weird...just ask them!)🙌🏼

 

[Deus_Vult]

Yeah i did give compliments, and private messages at same time with one I got to lvl up to friend, which is cool
Other said she is praying about it. Yeah to old for girlfriend dating. Maybe hang out and talk to get to know each other as friend, before even thinking about more. defently praying and seeking God's leading.

Well you were lucky, it didn't happen the same to me when i was new here ha ha. but i was talking about the app... because i don't have never texted a woman in the forums.

 

[eXric]

I think it’s mostly about getting to know each other in the forums. That takes quite some time, maybe years. What a person is saying in his or her posts over time can help you get a glimpse of said person’s intentions.

yes it does take time to get to know some from what they write. So , is it good to wait until she feels comfortable with private messages.

 

[eXric]

I have never had someone harass me in the forums or private message.

I think if you interact with the woman on here like one of your sisters (if you don't have sisters think cousins, a friends sister, etc) you should be fine and non-creepy. 🙃

If you strike up a friendship with a lady or feel led to private message one, keep it simple (Small talk) in the beginning.
Don't be discouraged or upset if she doesn't respond immediately due to being busy with life.

It always bothers me when a man leads with questions such as...
Do you have children? How many?
Is your profile picture current?
Do you have a full body picture you could share with me? (I'm not referring to a 'nekked' one. 😅 Just one where he wants to judge if we are pretty enough to continue corresponding with).

I imagine you men get similar questions. 🤔

There really is something to just "being yourself" though." 🙏
I've made several good friends on here by being myself! (And I'm a bit weird...just ask them!)🙌🏼

The things that you say bother you, is what i call hassled. Good info and do not say stuff like that.

 

[eXric]

Well you were lucky, it didn't happen the same to me when i was new here ha ha. but i was talking about the app... because i don't have never texted a woman in the forums.

Chat app is better to get to know who my make a good friend.

 

[TamLynn]

The things that you say bother you, is what i call hassled. Good info and do not say stuff like that.

Just to note that while I've recieved questions like the ones I mentioned, they were never asked by members of this forum. 🙂

 

[TabinRivCA]

Was trying to find a clever title that would not attract scammers or people with bad intension.

Was wondering do women get harassed a lot on CC, like men with un Christian like actions.
I am still new and getting used to the way thing work here.
Maybe some tips to avoid looking creepy. It feel like starting a private conversation with a single women seems intrusive. Do not know another way to ask a question. It might be how I ask the question. Like getting to person, are giving an unwanted compliment.
I am a bit socially awkward with with women and want to be more considerate to women.
Yeah it is not helpul to me to be told "be your self". Yes I do know about it takes to for people to get to know me.
Help a guy out, for me and others like me. Also helps other men to know this info so they do overwhelm women or act unchristian like with bad manners. Best to be polite and considerate to others tell they get to know is want i try to do.

A smile brightens up a face and gives a more approachable vibe, like I'm always telling my son, lol.

 

[Lanolin]

Cant say Ive been harassed on here by men

maybe not online though, being asked all sorts of personal questions which in general is creepy, in fact for women its more like a general converstional torture chamber where the male harasser basically wants you to give you the number of your bank account, and somewhere to easy to go and do 'the deed'. of seducing you out of your money and or virtue.

Getting to know someone goes two ways, say you ask a question of someone, then they get to ask the same or a different question back. Its not fair for one person to offer up everything and the other person to then sit back and JUDGE that person for their answers. Way to make a woman feel like a piece of meat...

 

[Lanolin]

anyhow what exactly was the question anyway.
are you making a fruit salad or something. Or a pie?

Fruit really depends on what season
Or are you asking about fruits of the spirit. Give some context here.

Otherwise, you really confusing ppl. BTW a forum isnt a exactly place to have a private conversation with someone lol
You might be able get on the phone but even then...someone may be in a room with a whole bunch of other people listening on the line and chats arent that private anyway.

 

[eXric]

anyhow what exactly was the question anyway.
are you making a fruit salad or something. Or a pie?

Fruit really depends on what season
Or are you asking about fruits of the spirit. Give some context here.

Otherwise, you really confusing ppl. BTW a forum isnt a exactly place to have a private conversation with someone lol
You might be able get on the phone but even then...someone may be in a room with a whole bunch of other people listening on the line and chats arent that private anyway.

It is not about fruit at all
there is three question few post back
lynx posted what are you asking to me.
so three post in i wrote down three question
A. Was wondering do women get harassed a lot on CC, like men with un Christian like actions?
B. Have any tips to avoid looking creepy while writing stuff?
C. Is there better way to be more considerate to women?

 

[Lanolin]

It is not about fruit at all
there is three question few post back
lynx posted what are you asking to me.
so three post in i wrote down three question
A. Was wondering do women get harassed a lot on CC, like men with un Christian like actions?
B. Have any tips to avoid looking creepy while writing stuff?
C. Is there better way to be more considerate to women?

A: not that I noticed harassed, but just general things like being boorish. Women quickly tire of one upman ship by men and the assumption that women dont have their own opinions or perhaps a different point of view

B. well since its online you wont look creepy but you will give off a rude vibe if you are constantly going on about women you havent even met or objectifying us

C. Yes be kind and patient, listen, pay attention to what we say, be thoughtful, and if we ask for help, give it, we dont all have four arms and seven hands

 

[Live4Him2]

Was trying to find a clever title that would not attract scammers or people with bad intension.

Was wondering do women get harassed a lot on CC, like men with un Christian like actions.
I am still new and getting used to the way thing work here.
Maybe some tips to avoid looking creepy. It feel like starting a private conversation with a single women seems intrusive. Do not know another way to ask a question. It might be how I ask the question. Like getting to person, are giving an unwanted compliment.
I am a bit socially awkward with with women and want to be more considerate to women.
Yeah it is not helpful to me to be told "be your self". Yes I do know about it takes to for people to get to know me.
Help a guy out, for me and others like me. Also helps other men to know this info so they do overwhelm women or act unchristian like with bad manners. Best to be polite and considerate to others tell they get to know is want i try to do.

Well, I know that it's not really the advice that you're looking for, but my advice to you is basically threefold:

1. Be yourself.
2. Constantly allow God to make you a better you.
3. Trust God to bring the right woman to you.

In relation to point 1, I pretty much went through a crisis of my own several years ago.

I started a very short thread about it my first time through here, and you can read it at the following link if you want to:

https://christianchat.com/christian-poems-poetry/freedom-from-the-fear-of-man.197946/#post-4511539

 

[Gojira]

Was trying to find a clever title that would not attract scammers or people with bad intension.

Was wondering do women get harassed a lot on CC, like men with un Christian like actions.
I am still new and getting used to the way thing work here.
Maybe some tips to avoid looking creepy. It feel like starting a private conversation with a single women seems intrusive. Do not know another way to ask a question. It might be how I ask the question. Like getting to person, are giving an unwanted compliment.
I am a bit socially awkward with with women and want to be more considerate to women.
Yeah it is not helpful to me to be told "be your self". Yes I do know about it takes to for people to get to know me.
Help a guy out, for me and others like me. Also helps other men to know this info so they do overwhelm women or act unchristian like with bad manners. Best to be polite and considerate to others tell they get to know is want i try to do.

People are on edge today, their angst being stirred up by victim peddlers. That being said, that never negates the fact that there are some unsavory folks out there.

Also, know that there probably isn't one perfect way to avoid seeming "creepy". Everyone has their own boundaries, created by their own unique experiences, good and bad. So what may in fact be perfectly normal behavior may seem to one maladjusted soul out there as "creepy", or even dangerous. Stepping on such a land mine is unavoidable, but when you do, the best thing may be to move on. In my experience, such people don't want to hear your explanation.

That being said, I need to be careful with this too sometimes. For example, I tend to be too open for my own good, too transparent, which has freaked some out (like I'm being right now, haha). So, maybe one thing to avoid doing is, don't bare your soul. Use discretion. I've tightened up on this somewhat through the years, but I've not reached the promised land just yet.

 

[Gojira]

I have never had someone harass me in the forums or private message.

I think if you interact with the woman on here like one of your sisters (if you don't have sisters think cousins, a friends sister, etc) you should be fine and non-creepy. 🙃

If you strike up a friendship with a lady or feel led to private message one, keep it simple (Small talk) in the beginning.
Don't be discouraged or upset if she doesn't respond immediately due to being busy with life.

It always bothers me when a man leads with questions such as...
Do you have children? How many?
Is your profile picture current?
Do you have a full body picture you could share with me? (I'm not referring to a 'nekked' one. 😅 Just one where he wants to judge if we are pretty enough to continue corresponding with).

I imagine you men get similar questions. 🤔

There really is something to just "being yourself" though." 🙏
I've made several good friends on here by being myself! (And I'm a bit weird...just ask them!)🙌🏼

I think the bottom line is, there is no formula for doing this. Yeah, be yourself, unless being yourself includes, e.g., a difficulty with boundaries. Obviously, try to keep your garbage in check (I think we have an inner filter, we just need to pay closer attention to it -- I've been learning to do this, and this filter seems to have wisdom). Sometimes I've done this well, sometimes I've failed miserably.

When I have a successful interaction with a woman (conversation, chat, etc., not talking dating -- Rome was still a global power the last time I was on a bonafide date), it's usually because our personalities simply click. It had nothing to do with how cool I was or some list of to-dos I followed. We simply meshed. I was relaxed, found appropriate points to break humor into, and like a tennis match, she could wock that ball right back to me. It was a two-way street.

Women aren't monolithic. People aren't. And, while there maaayyyy be some generalities to heed, I'd say keep Scriptural behavior guidelines in mind, listen to that inner checking, and wait to come across someone who gets you and whom you get.

Just my opinion. But, what do I know? France was still called Gaul when I last... oh never mind. You get the point.