What would you do if you were me?

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Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
#21
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
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#21
allforfun said:
This is what I tend to think about arranged marriages. I know some grow up together, but some do not. In many of them, they met when the veil was lifted. That is where that tradition came from. So the groom wouldn't be off put by her looks and get on a horse and run. I digress. You can grow to love that person, but I wonder if they get that punch drunk feeling even at 90 when they look at them over pudding.

We can grow love for someone by proximity. I have been here for what a month? And I laugh along with the best of you. But it isn't the same as turning around on a random Tuesday and having an overwhelming desire to get to know someone deeply. When that hits, we can't control it, or deny that it is there.

How does she feel I wonder? Does she have more feelings than you do? Are you wanting to date her because she represents what you think you should want, but don't? These questions aren't for me so you don't have to answer them, they are just something to think about.

In summary, I want everyone to find that one person that rocks their world and doesn't make them feel like they settled. If you feel like you are settling pre-dating, how are you going to feel dating, married and tied down with children? If that thought just made a lump in your throat? It isn't time.
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People like to talk about how much they want a Godly relationship. It Objectively seems like the right thing to do. It can't get much more Godly than it is right now.

I can't imagine my world being rocked right now. Falling in love seems unimaginable.

Jullianna said:
We kinda joked about scriptural ties, but there really is one in this instance. Jacob was already a married man when his father in law told him he’d have to work 7 more years for Rachel. If all he’d wanted was someone for background noise, to share his bed, clean his tent, wash his robes, cook his meals and bear his babies, he had that already. He could have said of Leah, “No thanks. This one will do.” But he didn’t, because he knew he wanted more and she was apparently worth 7 more years to him. Given the difference he made between Leah's children and the children Rachel bore him, he clearly loved her deeply.

If we look a little deeper, we’re all part of the same story (I hope). God could have made us all cute little robots who never questioned Him, but He didn’t. Because He knows the value of a bride who truly loves you because she wants to.
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I can't imagine how this narrative could end positively.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#22
#22
Not unless you see love as a positive thing. :)
 
N

nanabean

Guest
#23
#23
Liamson said:
I can't imagine my world being rocked right now. Falling in love seems unimaginable.
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Then.......why would you want to date?? or get a girl flowers?? .........*doesn't understand...........*
 
Snackersmom

Snackersmom

Senior Member
#24
May 10, 2011
1,679
291
83
#24
This post is probably unnecessary, because everyone has given good advice, but I just wanted to say that anytime you initiate something simply out of impatience or the desire to conform, you are probably stepping out of God's will. Stop. Pray. Listen for the still small voice. Wait for His timing. If the Father has a lady picked out for you, he will bring her into your life at the perfect time, AND give you the reassurance that she's the One. So don't force anything. Good can be the enemy of perfect. Wait for perfect. Maybe God has some more things to show and teach you as a single person, so try to stay focused on Him, and the rest will fall into place. This is the advice I give myself all the time; so far it's working pretty well:)
 
P

persecuted

Banned
#25
Jun 15, 2011
308
0
0
#25
Liamson: I know here is the irony again of the world's leading moron with women chucking up some chick advise. I don't think randomly giving some girl flowers will make you fall for her. Although strangely I might be wrong. Have you ever dared yourself to do something like tell a girl she's beautiful... and then when you did felt all of these awesome sparks flying? Maybe there is something to it. Personally though I think you should just talk to lots of girls and when you can feel some sudden reaction for one, assume maybe it means something and go for it. Buy her flowers or whatever you want to try to progress things. Beyond that stage I am a fool and you'll have to seek ideas from anyone else.
 
L

Liz01

Guest
#26
#26
Liamson said:
Well, I've kind of finally decided that I'm going to continue to hang out with just one person as friends and a potential relationship. (Also for the sake of not being called a premarital polygamist.) My problem is that I don't feel anything like that for anyone. And here is my question:

1. Should I get someone flowers, even though I don't feel anything, in the hopes that eventually with enough time spent together I might find the switch or the faucet or whatever it is that melts the ice?

2. I know what it feels like to fall in love. Are my expectations too high for the future and is love a once in a lifetime thing? Should I just be okay with Companionship?

3. As someone who now plays by the rules and didn't before, I'm afraid I don't really know the proper couch movie watching etiquette. Now don't get me wrong, I know what NOT TO DO (and where that leads) but, I also know that If I'm suppose to be interested in someone I'm suppose to do something. I have no idea what that something is. If I was IN the relationship a ways, I know what to do but, in the kiddie end of the pool, no idea.


PS> don't quote James 4:17 or some random verse that seems helpful to you but, makes me think you're crazy. Because I'm probably just going to think you're crazy. Like the kind of crazy that when a kid asks his mom, blue shirt or red shirt, she quotes most of Matthew 5.



I would like advice, opinions, suggestions... etc.
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When i read your message i thought you were into a rush, i dont know, maybe i am wrong
But you made me remember some years in my life in which i was so worried to have a bf and to get married, and i was living a situation in which ppl around me were pushing me to marry, some friends started to marrying and having children and as i wrote here time ago my mom was "accidentally" giving me movies of weddings and i thought it was mandatory to have a husband to be like everyone was.
Im glad those years ended lol, i learned that relax and enjoy life are better if God has other plans for us.
 
Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
#27
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#27
Liz01 said:
When i read your message i thought you were into a rush, i dont know, maybe i am wrong
But you made me remember some years in my life in which i was so worried to have a bf and to get married, and i was living a situation in which ppl around me were pushing me to marry, some friends started to marrying and having children and as i wrote here time ago my mom was "accidentally" giving me movies of weddings and i thought it was mandatory to have a husband to be like everyone was.
Im glad those years ended lol, i learned that relax and enjoy life are better if God has other plans for us.
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Maybe I'm running away from God's timing.

I need to spend more time asking him what He wants.
 
Snackersmom

Snackersmom

Senior Member
#28
May 10, 2011
1,679
291
83
#28
Maybe I'm running away from God's timing.

I need to spend more time asking him what He wants.
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ding-ding-ding-ding! (game show host voice) Ladies and gentleman, I think we have a winner! (theme music begins playing) :p
 
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