I am NOT happy!

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Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#1
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#1
Do you tell everyone this when you are not happy?!

I have noticed my boss and some people will do this, like they want you to know right away. Is this good or bad? I supoose its honest and direct.

Whereas, if I am not happy I dont really tell everyone, I just kind of go to my room and cry.
Or maybe put on a rage song and yell at the top of my lungs (grunge music was good for this)

I think its because I dont really want to hurt anyone with my being unhappy, or make people think its all their fault. Then my unhappiness doesnt last for too long (after praying) cos being a misery guts isnt that fun to be around

Of course, one cant be happy ALL the time and you cant please everyone. Some people cope by drinking ('happy hour') but I never did that. Children just get happy meals from McDonalds. You can also go to a 'happy place' either in your mind or create one, and if Im not happy I kind of tend to change things around till I am happy. But I dont really tell other people that Im not happy cos what can they really do?

Doctors now can say 'take a chill pill' and actually prescribe anti-depressants. Or are their benefits to comiseration...like if someone tells you they are unhappy do you chime in and say yep life is pretty awful..!
 
Roughsoul1991

Roughsoul1991

Senior Member
#2
Sep 17, 2016
8,855
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#2
Lanolin said:
Do you tell everyone this when you are not happy?!

I have noticed my boss and some people will do this, like they want you to know right away. Is this good or bad? I supoose its honest and direct.

Whereas, if I am not happy I dont really tell everyone, I just kind of go to my room and cry.
Or maybe put on a rage song and yell at the top of my lungs (grunge music was good for this)

I think its because I dont really want to hurt anyone with my being unhappy, or make people think its all their fault. Then my unhappiness doesnt last for too long (after praying) cos being a misery guts isnt that fun to be around

Of course, one cant be happy ALL the time and you cant please everyone. Some people cope by drinking ('happy hour') but I never did that. Children just get happy meals from McDonalds. You can also go to a 'happy place' either in your mind or create one, and if Im not happy I kind of tend to change things around till I am happy. But I dont really tell other people that Im not happy cos what can they really do?

Doctors now can say 'take a chill pill' and actually prescribe anti-depressants. Or are their benefits to comiseration...like if someone tells you they are unhappy do you chime in and say yep life is pretty awful..!
Click to expand...
I prefer honesty so I can try to offer support, Biblical wisdom, or to break the annoying dogma that we must always be okay or risk the loss of a job, the ridicule of others, or fear that no one cares.
 
eXric

eXric

Active member
#3
Mar 31, 2022
230
84
28
55
#3
Lanolin said:
Do you tell everyone this when you are not happy?!

I have noticed my boss and some people will do this, like they want you to know right away. Is this good or bad? I supoose its honest and direct.

Whereas, if I am not happy I dont really tell everyone, I just kind of go to my room and cry.
Or maybe put on a rage song and yell at the top of my lungs (grunge music was good for this)

I think its because I dont really want to hurt anyone with my being unhappy, or make people think its all their fault. Then my unhappiness doesnt last for too long (after praying) cos being a misery guts isnt that fun to be around

Of course, one cant be happy ALL the time and you cant please everyone. Some people cope by drinking ('happy hour') but I never did that. Children just get happy meals from McDonalds. You can also go to a 'happy place' either in your mind or create one, and if Im not happy I kind of tend to change things around till I am happy. But I dont really tell other people that Im not happy cos what can they really do?

Doctors now can say 'take a chill pill' and actually prescribe anti-depressants. Or are their benefits to comiseration...like if someone tells you they are unhappy do you chime in and say yep life is pretty awful..!
Click to expand...
This might not work for you, but I do kid stuff sometime to remember happier days. Get a happy meal if it makes you smile
When you are down does it help to came here and get encouraged?
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#4
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#4
eXric said:
This might not work for you, but I do kid stuff sometime to remember happier days. Get a happy meal if it makes you smile
When you are down does it help to came here and get encouraged?
Click to expand...
I dont really come here (singles forum) when Im down, if Im having a tough time I usually pray or maybe ask for prayer in the prayer forum

I do a lot of kids stuff anyway in my job lol. I think primary school was quite a happy place for me. But not high school...I thought high school was super boring!
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#5
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#5
Roughsoul1991 said:
I prefer honesty so I can try to offer support, Biblical wisdom, or to break the annoying dogma that we must always be okay or risk the loss of a job, the ridicule of others, or fear that no one cares.
Click to expand...
i should tell my boss I am not happy that about my pay, but, most of the time complaints like that will get ignored or dismissed, however, when the boss isnt happy you'll quickly know about it. She'll come rampaging. So...it seems like it only works one way?

My friend said an elder at church told her to her face 'I am not happy with you'.
Nothing much she could do so she went to a different church
 
Magenta

Magenta

Senior Member
#6
Jul 3, 2015
60,175
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#6
Lanolin said:
My friend said an elder at church told her to her face 'I am not happy with you'.
Nothing much she could do so she went to a different church
Click to expand...
Was any reason given? Seems an extreme response to leave over it.

Then again I am short on details. Perhaps leaving was the best thing she could do either way, anyways ;)
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#7
Aug 13, 2014
27,369
9,377
113
#7
Lanolin said:
i should tell my boss I am not happy that about my pay, but, most of the time complaints like that will get ignored or dismissed, however, when the boss isnt happy you'll quickly know about it. She'll come rampaging. So...it seems like it only works one way?
Click to expand...
According to a survey nobody is ever happy with the paycheck. Across the board, from minimum wage drudges to $150,000 a year businessmen, everybody they surveyed thought they should be making more than they were. Specifically, everybody thought 20% more than they were currently making would make them happy.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#8
Aug 13, 2014
27,369
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113
#8
If this is a thread about complaining about being unhappy...

I sure didn't keep it quiet about being unhappy this morning. We are in pigeon forge and apparently they don't turn the town on until 7:00 a.m. I like breakfast large and early. I could starve to death by 7:00 a.m. There are multiple places with good breakfast buffets, but nothing opens until 7:00 in the flipping morning.
 
R

RodB651

Well-known member
#9
Feb 11, 2021
734
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#9
Lynx said:
If this is a thread about complaining about being unhappy...

I sure didn't keep it quiet about being unhappy this morning. We are in pigeon forge and apparently they don't turn the town on until 7:00 a.m. I like breakfast large and early. I could starve to death by 7:00 a.m. There are multiple places with good breakfast buffets, but nothing opens until 7:00 in the flipping morning.
Click to expand...
Lynx,.. C'mon man... You on vacation.. Lol
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#11
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#11
Magenta said:
Was any reason given? Seems an extreme response to leave over it.

Then again I am short on details. Perhaps leaving was the best thing she could do either way, anyways ;)
Click to expand...
was something to do with not being vaccinated in that church and her not going because they were separating people

if people arent vaccinated they usually have a good (medical) reason why they arent and if they are not welcome anywhere they wont get a jab just to make someone else happy.

so expressing your displeasure with someone just cos they dont do what you want them to do to make you happy just seems counterinutitive, people arent your slaves to order about as you wish
 
soberxp

soberxp

Senior Member
#12
May 3, 2018
2,511
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#12
If I feel a little unhappy, I will immediately tell myself to adjust my state.
 
J

JAPOV

Guest
#13
#13
I generally try to remain somewhere in the middle, not too happy or depressed... :cool:
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#14
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#14
Its a British thing to whinge and complain about stuff they cant do anything about though, thats how people relate to each other, by ragging about the awful weather

I wonder if I moved to England whether I would turn into a miserable git because it rained all the time.
But I noticed when the Brits come to NZ, where the weather is actually balmy and nice, they still find heaps of things to complain about. :unsure:

It must be tough having high expectations of everything that wherever you go it must be perfect?
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#15
Aug 13, 2014
27,369
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#15
Lanolin said:
Its a British thing to whinge and complain about stuff they cant do anything about though, thats how people relate to each other, by ragging about the awful weather
Click to expand...
No, it's almost universal. Human nature tends to focus on what we don't like. Hopefully we can change it to something we do like... But if we can't, that doesn't mean we stop focusing on it. It just means we complain a lot about it.

I say ALMOST universal because cinder has reported living in places where they just accept bad things as part of life. I have never seen places like that myself though.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#16
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#16
huh a friend said her mum is such a stoic, that she will never say anything is wrong with her even though her leg got infected and she had to have surgery after slipping over and was in pain and had to be in hospital for several weeks.

So she'd lie to the doctor and insist everything is fine when its not!

Apparently she didnt want anyone to make a fuss or know she was badly hurt. Ok this is when you need to be completely honest, her daughter said. YOU COULD HAVE DIED
 
Willow

Willow

Well-known member
#17
Oct 10, 2021
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ohio
#17
I don't share alot of my feelings of being unhappy. Sadly most do not really care. They are mostly listening long enough to respond. It is a proven fact.So usually I go to God with my issues and needs. He may not give me a scripture or whatever is needed atm. But I am reminded by him, that if I choose to bless others in this time of need, it blesses me. I have to say he is spot on on that,amen.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#18
Aug 13, 2014
27,369
9,377
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#18
Lanolin said:
huh a friend said her mum is such a stoic, that she will never say anything is wrong with her even though her leg got infected and she had to have surgery after slipping over and was in pain and had to be in hospital for several weeks.

So she'd lie to the doctor and insist everything is fine when its not!

Apparently she didnt want anyone to make a fuss or know she was badly hurt. Ok this is when you need to be completely honest, her daughter said. YOU COULD HAVE DIED
Click to expand...
That's more self effacing than stoic.

Either way though, it becomes a worry as you get older. :cautious: If Grandma falls we sometimes have to trick her into admitting something hurts.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#19
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#19
well, its a full time job to care and then some.
But if you in that caregiving role, if someones not happy then you need to know.

so depends on who it is I suppose. I wont tell everyone, I might tell say, my cat who just says nothing but who can purr it away. If she was still alive that is. I think the act of purring is some kind of positive vibration that dispels unhappiness.

If only humans knew the secret.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#20
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#20
well, I found out today that my boss is ...retiring! At the end of the year! so, she should be happy now.
 
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