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ChristianTonyB

Guest
I appreciate these posts very much.

It's not so much the age difference that strikes me, especially since I've gotten to a point in life where for some reason, younger guys seem to ask me out now.

But I guess it's more the irony of a man saying, "I'm sick of self-centered Western women who only want money and aren't even real Christians!! No, not me, I'm not falling into their trap -- I'M going to go off to find a young, submissive wife to dedicate HER life to serving MY every need instead!" :rolleyes:

Wow.

Certainly no hypocrisy in that kind of thinking at all. :whistle:
That's not where I am coming from.
Why the indignation and cynicism, you do yourselves a disservice when you react like that!
 
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ChristianTonyB

Guest
Well that was last year. This year waiting til next month. Looking to go fishing on Mothers day. My oldest will go fishing with me. Thank you for the compliment. I hope that works out with your plants.My sister has trouble with the heat in florida makes hers explode. This year she is going for partial shade. I want to move to warmer climate myself. Waiting a few years on it. Waiting on God's timing.
I think my next project maybe buying a gasoline powered bicycle online. I love my small chevy spark, but this would be even cheaper on gas. You can purchase them unassembled. I could buy a motorcycle I suppose, but this way I don't have to worry about getting a motorcycle license.
I feel as though I am rambling so going to get offline for the evening. I appreciate your kindness in replying to so many on here. It is such a blessing to so many, God bless you!
Thank you, and likewise. Sleep well.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,943
4,587
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That's not where I am coming from.
Why the indignation and cynicism, you do yourselves a disservice when you react like that!
This post wasn't directed at you.

Rather, it's an observation about this idealism about Asian women vs. Western women by older men that I've seen repeatedly in the forums and in real life.

There is much thought about what the young women can do for the men, but nothing expressed about what the older men will do to keep up the young woman's relationship with her family.

So again, this post wasn't about you personally, Tony.

I made a reply to your reply in my post after the one you quoted.
 
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ChristianTonyB

Guest
This post wasn't directed at you.

Rather, it's an observation about this idealism about Asian women vs. Western women by older men that I've seen repeatedly in the forums and in real life.

There is much thought about what the young women can do for the men, but nothing expressed about what the older men will do to keep up the young woman's relationship with her family.

So again, this post wasn't about you personally, Tony.

I made a reply to your reply in my post after the one you quoted.
I understand that SS, and I found those posts to be gracious and good examples of how to respond to something when you don't agree about any or everything that's been said. You could have easily left your first post sit, it had enough encouragement and warning in it. I've raised this thread to help people get to know each other, and encourage goodly interaction...not as an invitation for anyone to take a bite out of another, which the other two were particularly intent on doing. Given the way you answered initially, I would have thought you would have let their unecessary and unhelpful responses slide by. It's as if they goaded you into doing something you wouldn't normally do. Just saying!
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,943
4,587
113
I understand that SS, and I found those posts to be gracious and good examples of how to respond to something when you don't agree about any or everything that's been said. You could have easily left your first post sit, it had enough encouragement and warning in it. I've raised this thread to help people get to know each other, and encourage goodly interaction...not as an invitation for anyone to take a bite out of another, which the other two were particularly intent on doing. Given the way you answered initially, I would have thought you would have let their unecessary and unhelpful responses slide by. It's as if they goaded you into doing something you wouldn't normally do. Just saying!
If this thread is about people getting to know each other, then I wanted to express how certain stereotypes have affected my own life and those I know.

Your post fit in very well with what I've seen older men post in this forum about this topic many times, therefore I also gave my usual answers.

Certainly nothing out of the ordinary on my end. The long-time regulars here have heard me speak about it many times --poor people, lol.

I do think that most older men, perhaps not you, are thinking mostly about themselves and their own needs, rather than hers, when they seek young foreign brides.

Your original post mentioned that you would like a young Asian woman to "play with you" and help keep you mobile -- I was interested in what you believe you would have to offer her in return as an equal partner.

I never hear this side of the situation talked about, and always wish men would include it as a balance when expressing these desires.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,177
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I thought that was what grandchildren were for

I worked in retirement villages where grandchildren were excluded. Like there are no playgrounds for them and aboslutely nothing for them to do when they visited.

so instead they had croquet lawns and snooker tables where the oldies would play together. if they needed help nurses would come and read the newspaper with them and read out quizzes. I remmeber one elderly lady carried a baby doll everywhere she went. If they cant have pets, they have pot plants.

Though I hear there is a shortage of nurses in my country and its not that well paid a job.
Some have been overworked and gone on strike becuase working conditions are like they never get a break thanks to shortages, so it compounds the problem.

You have to be a certain type of person to be a nurse and not fazed by anything the human body has (inside or outside) esp geriatric nursing.. you have to be strong too, babies are easy to lift but an elderly person not so much!
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,177
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Seoul was not goaded

she's just telling it like it is.

for any immigrant they need to adjust to living and the culture of wherever they go and they will be sepeartaed from their own family and support system

its not a matter of ok I'll just import a bride for myself. That is not the way it works, actually it can be human trafficking. Just warning you thats actually illegal and you can get in very serious trouble.

If you wanted to go live in the phillipines you'd need to adjust to their culture, and learn the langauge it works both ways.
 
J

JAPOV

Guest
If this thread is about people getting to know each other, then I wanted to express how certain stereotypes have affected my own life and those I know.

Your post fit in very well with what I've seen older men post in this forum about this topic many times, therefore I also gave my usual answers.

Certainly nothing out of the ordinary on my end. The long-time regulars here have heard me speak about it many times --poor people, lol.

I do think that most older men, perhaps not you, are thinking mostly about themselves and their own needs, rather than hers, when they seek young foreign brides.

Your original post mentioned that you would like a young Asian woman to "play with you" and help keep you mobile -- I was interested in what you believe you would have to offer her in return as an equal partner.

I never hear this side of the situation talked about, and always wish men would include it as a balance when expressing these desires.
OK, we know where YOU stand... lol
How about some suggestions? What WOULD BE the appropriate thing for a lonely older fella to do? :unsure:
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
56,031
26,154
113
I guess it's more the irony of a man saying, "I'm sick of self-centered Western
women
who only want money and aren't even real Christians!! No, not me,
I'm not falling into their trap -- I'M going to go off to find a young, submissive
wife to dedicate HER life to serving MY every need instead!" :rolleyes:
Before I even read your response, this gave me pause, also. I pondered
the plight of the female throughout history, being treated as second
class citizens and chattel even though God created her as man's equal.


I was watching some show or an ad for a show wherein it was mentioned
that no female had the right to vote until fairly recently. Women couldn't
possess property and had no lawful cause to any money they may acquire.
Of course I knew of these things, but to be reminded that Congress passed
the 19th Amendment on June 4, 1919, by 2 votes over the required two-thirds
majority, helps keep things in perspective when men complain about feminists,
and how "western" women treat men, as if men had not played a huge role in
how history has shaped the psyche of women... and how much we owe the
women's suffrage movement.


Some places in Canada, women got the vote shortly before that, though it was
1918 before all female British subjects over 21 could vote in Canadian federal
elections, and 1922 before women could vote in most Canadian jurisdictions.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,177
113
it is a serious topic that deserves its own thread

https://disruptingtraffick.org/child-brides-human-trafficking/

I know because being asian looking and young and female I was routinely preyed on by older men who thought they were the bees knees and that just because they regarded me as asian and 'foreign' they could do anything they liked. They thought maybe I was too stupid to know any better
 
J

JAPOV

Guest
God created her as man's equal.
I'm not sexist, but I wonder... If God intended us to truly be equal, then why aren't we equal? In many ways we seem to be opposites... Does "Helper" and "One flesh" truly mean equal? Why is the "husband" held accountable for his house?
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,177
113
in nz woman got the vote in 1893
first country in the world
so, you probably dont want to marry a stroppy nz woman who can vote lol
 

soberxp

Senior Member
May 3, 2018
2,511
482
83
I'm not sexist, but I wonder... If God intended us to truly be equal, then why aren't we equal? In many ways we seem to be opposites... Does "Helper" and "One flesh" truly mean equal? Why is the "husband" held accountable for his house?
God forgot to tell Adam that you should also help Eve. So both of them ate the died fruit:unsure:
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
56,031
26,154
113
I'm not sexist, but I wonder... If God intended us to truly be equal, then why aren't we equal? In many ways we seem to be opposites... Does "Helper" and "One flesh" truly mean equal? Why is the "husband" held accountable for his house?
"Helpmeet" is not the word used... :)

When Eve was made for Adam, the term used to describe her role was ezer kenegdo.

Re: Hebrew ezer kenegdo. The Hebrew word ezer is a combination of two
roots: `-z-r, meaning "to rescue, to save," and g-z-r, meaning "to be strong."


In Genesis 2:18, the word "helpmeet" does not occur. The Hebrew expression ezer
kenegdo appears, meaning "one who is the same as the other and who surrounds,
protects, aids, helps, supports." The combination of these two Hebrew words has
two roots: `-z-r, meaning "to rescue, to save," and g-z-r, meaning "to be strong."
There is no indication of inferiority or of a secondary position in an hierarchical
separation of the male and female "spheres" of responsibility, authority, or social position.


Use of the word ezer in the Scripture often refers to either God or military allies. In all
other cases the one giving the help is superior to the one receiving the help. Adding
kenegdo (meet) modifies the meaning to that of equal rather than superior status.
Scripture is so awesome. God says just what He means.


The word ezer is used twice in the Old Testament to refer to the female and 14 times to refer to God.
For example, in the Psalms when David says, "The Lord is my Helper," he uses the word ezer.


Click

and click again.

:)

So it is a good question, to wonder why men treat women as inferior beings.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,177
113
OK, we know where YOU stand... lol
How about some suggestions? What WOULD BE the appropriate thing for a lonely older fella to do? :unsure:
find a group of friends to hang out with their own age there are clubs like probus etc. esp for retired people who like to have fun
play a sport
help with a ministry
gardening
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,177
113
Adam just pulled rank cos God made him first.
He was supoosed to know better cos he was older (I dont know by how many hours he was alone) before Eve was created lol

He couldnt last very long apparently on his own
 

soberxp

Senior Member
May 3, 2018
2,511
482
83
Adam just pulled rank cos God made him first.
He was supoosed to know better cos he was older (I dont know by how many hours he was alone) before Eve was created lol

He couldnt last very long apparently on his own
I don't think I will feel lonely and helpless. There are so many animals to play with, such as cats and dogs.
 
J

JAPOV

Guest
For the record... I believe there's a natural God given order, and that order is obvious. How we function within that order is what defines us all as honorable and righteous, or scoundrels :cool: