The Banned Game

[Moses_Young]

Jennymaesia has with concern observed the tensions between the neighboring countries. The Empress has decided to put an end to all the striving and trials. From this moment on every neighboring country are declared Jennymaesian. 😂

Breaking: Subsequent to the welcome peacekeeping announcement by Jennymaesian philanthropist Empress Jennymae, to absorb the lesser neighbouring countries into a united Greater Jennymaesia - a sinister plot has been uncovered by a Mosestarian scout group working deep within Rubylander-occupied territory.

It seems a laboratory of sorts has been in operation by Rubylander nationalists - in breach of both international law and longstanding Mosestarian statutes that the breakaway nation of Rubyland has refused to acknowledge, since its emboldenment with recent election fraud. Within the laboratory were discovered human and animal subjects, and a lipstick weapon so potent as to cause hideous and debilitating effects in those whose lips may so unfortunately be exposed. It is feared that missiles charged with the toxic substance are to be launched into Jennymaesia as a type of "false flag" event, with blame to be placed squarely on Shittimistanian authorities, in order to incite already high tensions in the region.

A sanhedrin of Mosestarian officials has departed for Jennymaesia, to discuss a potential joint action against the rogue nation of Rubyland. It is believed that discussions may involve a proposal to divide ownership of East and West Rubyland between Mosestaria and Jennymaesia, using the great central Ruby lake as a natural border. No delegation was sent to Shittimistanian authorities due to the foul smell emanating from the nation at the time of discovery by the scout group.


Above: human test subject rescued from Rubylander nationalist lipstick-laboratory of horror. Note: this lipstick does not wash off!

 

[Ruby123]

I can see now that King Moses has a new alliance with the Empress Jennymaesia and are plotting to take over Rubyland and divide it into two. I of course will not let this happen. My family has ruled this land since the beginning of time and I was crowned ten years ago by my late mother who was queen before me. I will contact the big guns and join with them.

 

[jennymae]

The peace loving people of Jennymaesia are looking forward to building imperialist makeup stores and total makeover markets in Mosestaria and Shittimistan. The Jennymaesian Mascara Marines expect to be warmly welcomed by the people of said countries. For too long the oppressed people have had to use mud for makeup.💄

Jennymaesia is honoring the alliance with Rubyland and does not intend to any ill doing against Rubyland. On the contrary, Rubyland is invited to oversee the special military operation.😂

 

[Ruby123]

I knew I could count on you Empress. That villian King Moses is trying to take my country of Rubyland from me. You see he is my neighbouring country and he knows that Rubyland is rich in rubies, coconuts, pancakes and coffee beans. We refuse to export anything to his land because he just sticks his labels over ours and then proceeds to export my goodies to other countries. Nobody buys them though because they get them from me cheaper.

Your lipsticks and other makeup products sell like hot cakes here Empress and we look forward to continuing business with you.

 

[jennymae]

Breaking: Subsequent to the welcome peacekeeping announcement by Jennymaesian philanthropist Empress Jennymae, to absorb the lesser neighbouring countries into a united Greater Jennymaesia - a sinister plot has been uncovered by a Mosestarian scout group working deep within Rubylander-occupied territory.

It seems a laboratory of sorts has been in operation by Rubylander nationalists - in breach of both international law and longstanding Mosestarian statutes that the breakaway nation of Rubyland has refused to acknowledge, since its emboldenment with recent election fraud. Within the laboratory were discovered human and animal subjects, and a lipstick weapon so potent as to cause hideous and debilitating effects in those whose lips may so unfortunately be exposed. It is feared that missiles charged with the toxic substance are to be launched into Jennymaesia as a type of "false flag" event, with blame to be placed squarely on Shittimistanian authorities, in order to incite already high tensions in the region.

A sanhedrin of Mosestarian officials has departed for Jennymaesia, to discuss a potential joint action against the rogue nation of Rubyland. It is believed that discussions may involve a proposal to divide ownership of East and West Rubyland between Mosestaria and Jennymaesia, using the great central Ruby lake as a natural border. No delegation was sent to Shittimistanian authorities due to the foul smell emanating from the nation at the time of discovery by the scout group.

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Above: human test subject rescued from Rubylander nationalist lipstick-laboratory of horror. Note: this lipstick does not wash off!

The Empress is not amused.😡😂

The Mosestarians have unknowingly discovered the secret weapon developed by Jennymaesian and Rubyland scientists in a cosmic top secret laboratory. Unfortunately one of the members of the scientist team was prone to using handwritten notes and forgot her documents in a shady, local tavern, where, eventually, the Mosestarian agents found them.

 

[shittim]

I am getting a little worried that my alliances are looking elsewhere. Time to come up with a new bribe.

It worked, i'm in that crowd!

 

[JAPOV]

Oh crap! Where's my laptop?!?

 

[shittim]

The unwashed masses of shittimistan accept the offer of alliance!

 

[Lanolin]

lanolinlanders havent been buying the makeup because it was found the lipsticks had fish scales and carcinogenic coal tars in them, plus they were tested on animals. Lanolinlanders have banned any testing on animals as cruel, and now has quite a large population of guinea pigs who have sought refugee status.

And they were sticking to their mud, because it had therapeutic properties, as well as being able to make bricks and flower pots out of them.

But it seems the Shittimstanians have been taken in by others, however, Lanolinlanders say its their own choice and they must do what they think is right for their nation. (Even though its actually...wrong)

 

[shittim]

Exhaustive testing by our head of Shittimistan FDA ( who goes by the name of "Hairy") reveals no harm from the lipstick, this testing was done over a lengthy period of a day or so, unless it was raining the day it was applied.

 

[Lanolin]

The refugee guinea pigs in Lanolinland claim they watched their loved ones die as they were force fed lipstick over a month every single day. This lipstick testing has to stop!

Is the leader of Rubyland aware of this, or did the labs omit to tell her what really went on?

 

[shittim]

The Guinea pig invasion of Lanolinland was done under the guise of humanitarian assistance, be warned that the door has been opened to infiltration and destruction of the watermelon supply by these nefarious agents.

 

[Ruby123]

No, President Lanolin. We were not aware that the guinea pigs were dying. They seemed happy applying the lipstick. Course we never told them to actually eat it. They were only supposed to apply it. We must retrain them. They are supposed to eat the watermelon that we also supply to Shittimistan.

 

[Ruby123]

Lol, this thread is called the banned game and we have somehow turned into the lands of Looney tunes

 

[Moses_Young]

Do not believe it, President Lanolin! The Rubylanders knew very well they were focing the guinea pigs to eat the tainted lipstick! The Rubylanders told the guinea pigs they must eat the lipstick, or they would lose their jobs, homes and hospital treatments! "Madame President", as she calls herself, has conspired with the Empress of Jennymaesia to reclassify guinea pigs as a type of rodent. In Rubyland, rodents have no rights. Evil, black-hearted, witches' cats stalk the streets, killing and maiming guinea pigs and rats alike with nary so much as a thought. This is why she feels no guilt over the stolen election - Madame President considers Mosestarians to be equal with rats!!!

 

[Ruby123]

The only thing truthful about the above post is the last sentence. Everybody knows the Mosestarians evolved from rats. That's why their staple diet is anything cheese. Mac and cheese, toasties, pizza. Anything cheesy. It also is the reason they hate cats, their afraid!!!

 

[Moses_Young]

Cats are banned in Mosestaria (except for at 'specially licensed abattoirs), because they are filthy creatures. If you think rodents are bad, imagine how bad is the animal that eats said rodent? And it's not exactly true that we hate-hate cats. If we truly hated them, we would never provide licences for kitchens and burger outlets to nourish the common folk. We hate them with a measured amount of hatred, whilst still acknowledging their nutrional value.


Above is a photograph of a cat-burger, a very common treat at one of Mosestaria's famous fast-food dispensaries.

 

[jennymae]

Do not believe it, President Lanolin! The Rubylanders knew very well they were focing the guinea pigs to eat the tainted lipstick! The Rubylanders told the guinea pigs they must eat the lipstick, or they would lose their jobs, homes and hospital treatments! "Madame President", as she calls herself, has conspired with the Empress of Jennymaesia to reclassify guinea pigs as a type of rodent. In Rubyland, rodents have no rights. Evil, black-hearted, witches' cats stalk the streets, killing and maiming guinea pigs and rats alike with nary so much as a thought. This is why she feels no guilt over the stolen election - Madame President considers Mosestarians to be equal with rats!!!

The Empress of Jennymaesia will deny such accusations in the strongest sense possible. Simultaneously the Empress is reallocating resources to sites closer to the Mosestarian border. There’s no plan on attacking Mosestaria. 😂

 

[Moses_Young]

Would the Empress of Jennymaesia be so kind as to explain the reallocation of resources to districts of Rubyland bordering on Mosestaria? Mosestarians don't mind the re-allocation of flower-type resources (as this cuts down the travel distance required for raiding parties), but these resources are sterner looking, and carrying dangerous-looking implements - not the sort of resources we would normally confiscate or tax.

 

[Ruby123]

Hmmm I am not happy that Rubyland shares a border with Mosestaria. I would like to get permission from the alliance of Jennymaesia, Shittimistan and Lanolinland to use a good amount of dynamite at the border to separate the two adjoining countries. Once split in half, literally I would like to build the great wall of Rubyland so that the rats of Mosestaria cannot enter. They may try to climb over but there will be a great army of cats on the other side ready to eat them.

Of course all occupants of my alliance countries will be welcomed. Upon entry they will receive a drink of their choice, coconut milk or coffee.