Need your prayers. Just an ear to hear.

[Bluesproverb]

So, I've been living my single life hoping for the best in my future. In my mid 30s. Struggling with my life. Lacking self confidence in my job. You see, I've been bullied growing up. I live life with a very insecure parent. A parent who can turn abusive on me at will. I started to type this and yet as I type this I just go back to delete.

By abuse, I mean verbal abuse. Sometimes physical. She hits me. She has hit me all my life. And She has a very warped view of the world around her. I feel like she is standing in between me and my progress. A complete lack of respect to my person as a son at times.

I've been dealing with this all my life. I know definitely that I cannot marry someone and bring her home to live with me in my current home. And my situation has kept me from finding a partner.

I'm introverted.

I make the mistake of talking about my life to this parent of mine. And I pay for it with complete abuse. The pain I feel is not understood by my parent. The emotional pain is more than anything else.

I've always been with her in her lows. But those lows are not real problems. They are mostly her fears which are not true. She's delusional in her old age. Schizophrenic. Talking to people who aren't there.

So, these are some of the problems I face. It is hard. It has always been hard.

There are nights I can't sleep because of the unresolved conversations I have with her.

My parent weighs down on me and my life. She is machine like. Doing her duties. Like cooking and cleaning the house.

But she cannot understand how her actions have a negative impact with those who live with her.

I am doing my work too. But it doesn't pay as much but it's a dream that I've been working to achieve with slow success.

At times I wake up at night because of troubled dreams. At times I feel an amplified pain in my chest which sometimes even stops me from moving. It's more emotional pain than physical.

I'm putting this out here. Getting this off my chest.

No child has to suffer the way I do. I deserve to be treated better.

Because of my parent, I've lost all my friends. It's a crushing, lonely pain, which I feel. I feel depressed. I'm not ok.

🙏💕

 

[justahumanbeing]

A Christian home is one where Christ is honoured. From your own description, that is not the case. You have made the choices you have, no one is forcing you to stay, so there's no justification for any complaint from you. It's also not right for you to look for someone to 'love' you out of your problems...you're asking them to shoulder the baggage that you oughtn't be carrying, that's not love!

Thank you. Alas, I can't explain what you can't understand. But thank you.

 

[Gojira]

A Christian home is one where Christ is honoured. From your own description, that is not the case. You have made the choices you have, no one is forcing you to stay, so there's no justification for any complaint from you. It's also not right for you to look for someone to 'love' you out of your problems...you're asking them to shoulder the baggage that you oughtn't be carrying, that's not love!

Hard to disagree with this.

 

[Lanolin]

well we can pray for your mum and you and your brother
it is tough to care for someone who can be unpredictable
and certainly your mum needs healing from whatver happened in her marriage that maybe you were too young to know about

many mothers have unrealistic expectations of their children and dont realise the way they act can prevent them from living their life. But take a step for independence and dont let her manipulate those boundaries

Many mothers think that because she gave birth to you that she owns your soul and everythings yours is hers but...thats not true, in the normal order of things a parent put up for the child not the child for the parent. Letting go can be hard for mothers.

Even if its just a simple thing as your own private space, a room where she cant just barge in, but you really have to work to make that boundary. Learn to say NO.

your mum needs friends too. So will pray that she can find some..even if its a pet. And an outlet, maybe a sport...if she hits, she needs to go hit a ball and not a person.

 

[Lanolin]

look into delieverance minsitries near you
dont dismiss them like some people do and then they dont ever get the help they need because theyve already made their mind up they dont work and so settle for just surviving when they could be thriving

If you mum really wants to get well she will. She needs to at least have the option

 

[justahumanbeing]

well we can pray for your mum and you and your brother
it is tough to care for someone who can be unpredictable
and certainly your mum needs healing from whatver happened in her marriage that maybe you were too young to know about

many mothers have unrealistic expectations of their children and dont realise the way they act can prevent them from living their life. But take a step for independence and dont let her manipulate those boundaries

Many mothers think that because she gave birth to you that she owns your soul and everythings yours is hers but...thats not true, in the normal order of things a parent put up for the child not the child for the parent. Letting go can be hard for mothers.

Even if its just a simple thing as your own private space, a room where she cant just barge in, but you really have to work to make that boundary. Learn to say NO.

your mum needs friends too. So will pray that she can find some..even if its a pet. And an outlet, maybe a sport...if she hits, she needs to go hit a ball and not a person.

Thank you very much for your kind words. You sort of understand what I shared here. I am very assertive. I do set boundaries. It is hard. Though I thank you for your prayers and I will pray for myself and my family as I always do.

I just hope my mother realises that. But it's hard for her to realise anything. I have always done what I needed to do in my life. Thank you again for your prayers. I need them.

She has all the resources available. But it does not make her any better. Anyway. Thank you again.

 

[justahumanbeing]

Hard to disagree with this.

You're not in my shoes. Have you been alone without a significant other for all your adult life owing to your life circumstances? I didn't think so. I've sacrificed so much for my family. The main reason I keep from looking for a partner is because I don't want to hurt the woman I'm supposed to love. And I do my best not to play around in a matter of falling in love and starting a life. Everything I have done is for a good future. Should I not desire to be loved?? Is that a crime? You talk as if I don't deserve to be loved. If love were to be given only when it's convenient, then is that love? It's harsh for another Christian to judge whether Christ is honoured in my family or not. No one should assume that. Especially when they don't know my family. How can they know that? This is why I didn't want to respond much to this particular post even though ChristianTonyB may have meant well.

 

[ChristianTonyB]

You're not in my shoes. Have you been alone without a significant other for all your adult life owing to your life circumstances? I didn't think so. I've sacrificed so much for my family. The main reason I keep from looking for a partner is because I don't want to hurt the woman I'm supposed to love. And I do my best not to play around in a matter of falling in love and starting a life. Everything I have done is for a good future. Should I not desire to be loved?? Is that a crime? You talk as if I don't deserve to be loved. If love were to be given only when it's convenient, then is that love? It's harsh for another Christian to judge whether Christ is honoured in my family or not. No one should assume that. Especially when they don't know my family. How can they know that? This is why I didn't want to respond much to this particular post even though ChristianTonyB may have meant well.

Well, the answer to your first question is yes. I have been in your ’shoes’, and possibly for a lot longer than yourself. Claiming to be sacrificial and stoic is one thing, making bad choices and suffering the consequences for those is another. And looking for someone to give me an out for something I’m responsible for, is just plain selfishness.

I got the impression that you are prepared to stay in an abusive environment (which will only taint your perspective), because of your personal career and material aspirations that besides yourself might also benefit a person you find difficult to live with.

Sufficient are the trials of today, and dealing with those, than concerning ourselves with a future that we have no control over. Jesus’ directives are of benefit to us only if we apply them, we need to search those out and do them!

 

[Gojira]

You're not in my shoes. Have you been alone without a significant other for all your adult life owing to your life circumstances? I didn't think so. I've sacrificed so much for my family. The main reason I keep from looking for a partner is because I don't want to hurt the woman I'm supposed to love. And I do my best not to play around in a matter of falling in love and starting a life. Everything I have done is for a good future. Should I not desire to be loved?? Is that a crime? You talk as if I don't deserve to be loved. If love were to be given only when it's convenient, then is that love? It's harsh for another Christian to judge whether Christ is honoured in my family or not. No one should assume that. Especially when they don't know my family. How can they know that? This is why I didn't want to respond much to this particular post even though ChristianTonyB may have meant well.

You can judge a tree by the fruit that it bears. It hardly sounds like your mother's a Godly woman -- from what you described of her treatment of you. Although you also added that she's loved you and been a good mom. Not getting that, and if you somehow reconciled those two opposites in another post, I missed it. From what I read, I (more or less) still agree with the post you've taken exception to.

As for the rest of your response, all I can say is that it got a bit wacko there for a minute. I never said YOU don't deserve to be loved. Neither did Tony.

Finally, I find it interesting that you've been more offended by my mere agreement to a post than by the actual post.

Be offended if you wish. You need to decide what's more important: vegetables in a house of peace, or fine meats in a house of contention. And, it sounds like you've made your choice. So, I really can think of no further counsel for you.

If I'm being harsh, if there's a log in my eye here, I invite the site's members to point it out to me. I'll apologize if I'm wrong.

 

[justahumanbeing]

Well, the answer to your first question is yes. I have been in your ’shoes’, and possibly for a lot longer than yourself. Claiming to be sacrificial and stoic is one thing, making bad choices and suffering the consequences for those is another. And looking for someone to give me an out for something I’m responsible for, is just plain selfishness.

I got the impression that you are prepared to stay in an abusive environment (which will only taint your perspective), because of your personal career and material aspirations that besides yourself might also benefit a person you find difficult to live with.

Sufficient are the trials of today, and dealing with those, than concerning ourselves with a future that we have no control over. Jesus’ directives are of benefit to us only if we apply them, we need to search those out and do them!

So who says I wanted out through another person? did I? I'm talking about my own life in argumentative fashion. I don't like this dialogue and there's only so much advice and help I need. Thanks for your advice. But if you're saying your way is the only way then you're wrong. I appreciate your intentions to help. But don't come judging my family and calling names like "your family is ungodly and calling names about my mother." I don't have to like it or agree with it. You are wrong on so many levels to judge. I shared about my life here not to be judged by you all. Only God can judge what is right or wrong. Not you or anyone else. You can only suggest. Please don't impose or insist. We share here not for those we trust to take advantage of what we share. But to provide whatever help they can by prayer or advice. So, I think you've done enough. If I need your help again I'd ask for it, I assure you.

 

[ChristianTonyB]

So who says I wanted out through another person? did I? I'm talking about my own life in argumentative fashion. I don't like this dialogue and there's only so much advice and help I need. Thanks for your advice. But if you're saying your way is the only way then you're wrong. I appreciate your intentions to help. But don't come judging my family and calling names like "your family is ungodly and calling names about my mother." I don't have to like it or agree with it. You are wrong on so many levels to judge. I shared about my life here not to be judged by you all. Only God can judge what is right or wrong. Not you or anyone else. You can only suggest. Please don't impose or insist. We share here not for those we trust to take advantage of what we share. But to provide whatever help they can by prayer or advice. So, I think you've done enough. If I need your help again I'd ask for it, I assure you.

It’s not possible for me to help you. You‘ve made your bed, you’ll have to sleep in it.

I only try to be of use to people that seem to have a humble and contrite heart. I tested that out here, and found it not to be in evidence. Don’t bother to ask me anything, because I won’t be able to hear you.

 

[justahumanbeing]

You can judge a tree by the fruit that it bears. It hardly sounds like your mother's a Godly woman -- from what you described of her treatment of you. Although you also added that she's loved you and been a good mom. Not getting that, and if you somehow reconciled those two opposites in another post, I missed it. From what I read, I (more or less) still agree with the post you've taken exception to.

As for the rest of your response, all I can say is that it got a bit wacko there for a minute. I never said YOU don't deserve to be loved. Neither did Tony.

Finally, I find it interesting that you've been more offended by my mere agreement to a post than by the actual post.

Be offended if you wish. You need to decide what's more important: vegetables in a house of peace, or fine meats in a house of contention. And, it sounds like you've made your choice. So, I really can think of no further counsel for you.

If I'm being harsh, if there's a log in my eye here, I invite the site's members to point it out to me. I'll apologize if I'm wrong.

I posted this thread here out of desperation to be heard. And advice was given by many for which I am very thankful and grateful. And most of them gave it in a way which was right and acceptable. So, I am thankful and I have nothing but good to think of them in return and thank God for what good I received from them.

It is wrong to assume things about my family and my mother and pronounce judgement without first having the sense to ask more about her from me.

In my home, there is no drinking, no fornication or any of those things that happen. My mother is a woman who lives everyday of her life in prayer. But, she is mentally ill and needs her family.

Is that what you do at your church? Call your believers who come to worship God with you ungodly to their face? You feel very safe behind your keyboard to type this don't you? And by labeling them, you are solving the problem?

You should know very well that you cannot assess the situation in my house without first paying a visit to my home. You or anyone for that matter cannot obviously sit behind your puters and be physically present in my home to arrive at conclusions. So, you are wrong to come judging on me and my family. It is wrong.

I didn't post this thread for anyone's sympathy or pity. That I do not want. I just wanted to vent out. That's the main reason. And I refuse to accept your judgement. You don't have the right. So, keep your judgement to yourself. And I never asked for your apology either. I never asked anything from you. Leave me alone in peace.

“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven." Luke 6:37

 

[Gojira]

I posted this thread here out of desperation to be heard. And advice was given by many for which I am very thankful and grateful. And most of them gave it in a way which was right and acceptable. So, I am thankful and I have nothing but good to think of them in return and thank God for what good I received from them.

It is wrong to assume things about my family and my mother and pronounce judgement without first having the sense to ask more about her from me.

In my home, there is no drinking, no fornication or any of those things that happen. My mother is a woman who lives everyday of her life in prayer. But, she is mentally ill and needs her family.

Is that what you do at your church? Call your believers who come to worship God with you ungodly to their face? You feel very safe behind your keyboard to type this don't you? And by labeling them, you are solving the problem?

You should know very well that you cannot assess the situation in my house without first paying a visit to my home. You or anyone for that matter cannot obviously sit behind your puters and be physically present in my home to arrive at conclusions. So, you are wrong to come judging on me and my family. It is wrong.

I didn't post this thread for anyone's sympathy or pity. That I do not want. I just wanted to vent out. That's the main reason. And I refuse to accept your judgement. You don't have the right. So, keep your judgement to yourself. And I never asked for your apology either. I never asked anything from you. Leave me alone in peace.

“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven." Luke 6:37

Are you in the Mesa, AZ area, by any chance? I live in the 85204 zip code. Let's meet up if so. I'll show you how much of a keyboard warrior I am. I have ZERO problem being honest with people in the real world. And, just for clarity, this isn't some sophomoric threat to fight. This is an invitation to have a direct, face-to-face, adult talk. (Not that I have any great desire to meet you, since you want answers that don't exist and it would be, ultimately, a waste of anyone's time.)

You provided us with awful details about your mother, tell us you must put up with it because you're trapped between a rock and a hard place, we offer opinions you don't like, you got things you didn't want to hear, and then call us judgmental. Okay, moving on.

But.. the offer to meet up if you're near the Mesa area still stands.

 

[justahumanbeing]

Are you in the Mesa, AZ area, by any chance? I live in the 85204 zip code. Let's meet up if so. I'll show you how much of a keyboard warrior I am. I have ZERO problem being honest with people in the real world. And, just for clarity, this isn't some sophomoric threat to fight. This is an invitation to have a direct, face-to-face, adult talk. (Not that I have any great desire to meet you, since you want answers that don't exist and it would be, ultimately, a waste of anyone's time.)

You provided us with awful details about your mother, tell us you must put up with it because you're trapped between a rock and a hard place, we offer opinions you don't like, you got things you didn't want to hear, and then call us judgmental. Okay, moving on.

But.. the offer to meet up if you're near the Mesa area still stands.

Friend. I respect your offer. And if you lived close by me, I would not refuse. I am never one to refuse someone's help. Especially when I need it. And anyone who offers help to me, I look at as a friend. At least till the time he or she helps me and I will return the favour if i have the chance. I live in India. In fact, we are culturally very different you and I. Hence, the extremity of my mother's treatment of me would seem very bad to you. I have put up with this for all my life that I am so used to it.

The reason my mother is like that is because of how society had treated her. Society is to blame. The family and what all happened in her married life. Which also happened to be my life where I grew up. A paragraph or a page isn't enough to speak of it all. I have felt like how you describe a rock and a hard place way before I went to college. And I have been fighting that fight until now into my 30s. I understand much more and I see clearly than I used to my life situation back then in my formative years. I am a very responsible human being. Or at least I think I am and I try to be.

The way Tony described me. That's not me at all. I weigh my actions in life as best I can and I take responsibility. I am not perfect. I try to be. You see, I didn't reveal my feelings for any woman whom I liked just because of my family situations and I didn't take advantage of any woman. Even the ones whom I knew who were interested in me. And I know what I want in my life.

It's never my desire to put a woman through what I am going through or have gone through. I have not done that until this late in my life and I'll never do it, God willing. But that doesn't mean that my life has to be alone for that all my life. Life is not all that long. To some maybe. Not to me. So, I will be honest with my situation and I could take a chance with the right woman and maybe things can change. I won't take that step unless I know that's God's will. If it has to happen it will. Maybe not in my present home but all that can change, if God wills it. I have tried before. I have failed. I don't deceive anyone. I speak the truth.

I'm an adult. I can take care of myself. If I marry or propose to a woman, I will be honest of my situation. I am a double degree holder and I have worked and earned enough to move out on my own. But I am building what I believe to be a better future for myself and hopefully the woman whom I would share it with. There's no woman in my life now. But I know there will be if it is the will of God.

All this hardship that I undergo is just temporary when compared to what I hope and pray to achieve one day. No, I didn't just write to get answers from you all although what advice I got is very helpful because you all see me from the outside and your perspective of me and my situation is helpful. That's one of the reasons I shared here.

No one has all the answers in life. Not even me. I believe God has those answers. I just shared my pain and what I hope for and long for. The answer to my problems are with Jesus. Those answers only I have to find. That's the beauty of life. Every now and then, a man's got to say that it hurts too. That's what I'm doing. That's why I wrote. And what answers and counsel that I got here is more than enough to keep me going because I do without it most days in my life. Because I don't talk of these things to everyone.

I have a Christian friend near home whom I confide in. And that's all I have. But God has given me at least that and I am grateful for it. I really appreciate your intentions to help. And your prayers and support do mean the world to me. I appreciate every sincere effort to address my concerns and the time taken for people to actually write to me concerning my grievance in this thread. It feels good to share here. And that was my intention. To just tell it to someone. God bless you for your good thought. I appreciate it. And I would take it, if you lived close by. But the thought is enough. Thank you.

 

[Subhumanoidal]

I posted this thread here out of desperation to be heard. And advice was given by many for which I am very thankful and grateful. And most of them gave it in a way which was right and acceptable. So, I am thankful and I have nothing but good to think of them in return and thank God for what good I received from them.

It is wrong to assume things about my family and my mother and pronounce judgement without first having the sense to ask more about her from me.

In my home, there is no drinking, no fornication or any of those things that happen. My mother is a woman who lives everyday of her life in prayer. But, she is mentally ill and needs her family.

Is that what you do at your church? Call your believers who come to worship God with you ungodly to their face? You feel very safe behind your keyboard to type this don't you? And by labeling them, you are solving the problem?

You should know very well that you cannot assess the situation in my house without first paying a visit to my home. You or anyone for that matter cannot obviously sit behind your puters and be physically present in my home to arrive at conclusions. So, you are wrong to come judging on me and my family. It is wrong.

I didn't post this thread for anyone's sympathy or pity. That I do not want. I just wanted to vent out. That's the main reason. And I refuse to accept your judgement. You don't have the right. So, keep your judgement to yourself. And I never asked for your apology either. I never asked anything from you. Leave me alone in peace.

“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven." Luke 6:37

You came here and basically talked down about your own mother, then got offended and accused people of judging when they responded with the information You provided. You don't get to come to a site, bad mouth your parent, then play the victim when people accept your claims of being abused and speak against her. It was Your words and Your post that started this. And the First message You shared was "my mother is abusive".
Perhaps your lack of sharing further information and only focusing on one side of your mother's behavior is the root problem, not everyone else?

But we see this way too often on this site. People coming here claiming to seek advice when really what they want is their own beliefs confirmed.

And it's funny you accusing of others judging when you yourself stated no one else had been in a similar situation. How can you claim that unless you yourself are judging others?

I agree not everything said to you here was good, but I see you being equally as guilty as those you are quick to criticize. You are not innocent, either.

 

[Sula]

Please listen this song .
I believe that those words that this brother shared with you is exactly what the Lord wants to tell you . We wants you to understand exactly who you are in Christ. How precious you are to him . And this song is call the God who sees . And show how God loves and cares and how much he’s present in all moments of our lives .
I’ll try to resume my testimony because is toooo long , but I was raised in a very beautiful and Christian family. At my age of 14 I found out that my father who was a very “ serious Christian “ was living a double life and having an affair. He also involved us with the other woman, because she was his “secretary “ and knowing and having no courage to tell my mom , me and my sisters suffer a lot of pressure and guilty and emotional confusions , my dad was doing everything he always preached that was sin . And my faith was shaking. He stop going to church and was always lying to my
Mom and that makes me stop believing in church and ppl . Since my example and model was a lie ( my dad ) . I got rebellious and start drinking, dating and with 23 years old I had a strong experience with God and left Brasil and came to USA to visit 2 of my sisters and my pastors cousins. And it was a life changing experience, for the first time in my life I saw ppl preaching by living the word and not only saying the words of God , their daylight lives touched me deeply and I had a very special encounter with God and repent. I ended my engagement in Brasil and decided to stay and follow Jesus and Jesus told me something very important, he told me Sula , I didn’t great you to be use by man but by God , stop controlling your life and let me guide you . Seek holiness and don’t date . Wait and in the right time I will Blessed you with the person I have for you. And I can’t explain but I felt so special and loved and all I wanted it was seek the Lord and be in love with him and please him and let him work all things in my life .
That was in 2001 . I’m still single , but I’m peace knowing that the Lord has all my days planned and by my relationship w him , I’ll know exactly what to do . My dad left us when I came to usa and we took our mom to be with us in Usa . My dad , for 15 years was away from us . Not caring about us only living his life w the other family. In 2015 he had a stroke and the “ other family “ didn’t want him and he came to us . Now he lives w me , he depends on me to do anything, he barely walk , and I work from home and take care of him . He’s very demanding and does a lot of things that hurts me deeply . I had to stop a lot of my dreams behind ( like photography- and others to be able to take care of him ) . But I have being molded in Jesus likeness every day and have an opportunity to be light , to let he see Jesus in everything I do . I know that here is not our eternal home so I’m leaning how to live looking to eternity by his side . I confess that a lot of times I cry a lot , and feel exhausted and sometimes overwhelmed. I have some health issues because of fibromyalgia, but I see the Lord doing miracles in everything. But I Totally understand how emotional abuse parents can be . My dad daily complain and says a lot of things that hurts , but I go to my room and cry and put all in the hands of my Jesus . And I confess that sometimes I get discouraged and the devil tries to make me blame God from all things that never happened in my life ( like being married or having. My own family.. kids ) or even makes me to blame God from everything bad happening) But the Lord is so amazing that he’s always closer to me and showing me my value being his own child and always shows me that everything works for the good of those who loves the Lord . My Church is very supportive and always by my side and I know that I’m not alone even feeling alone sometimes. So I want to encourage you to look all Jesus virtues and seek him daily with all of your heart . Pray about everything.
Ask the Lord , Lord help me to understand your will , show me where you want me to work , show a place where I can work and be light and help ppl to know you . Pray about ur relationship with him to be deeper every day , for you to be thirsty for his worlds and presence . Learn to delight in him and let him take all your burdens . All thoughts ask him to organize and like James says ask for wisdom and he will give to you . If you need a friend , I’m here as your sister to encourage you. May the Lord fill your heart with his peace , and joy and May he heal your heart from every past hurts and help you to find yourself in his arms of Love .
Be blessed and I’ll pray for you.
Sorry I’m not very good “ resume “ my testimony

 

[Kireina]

I'll be praying for you...I understand the struggle...I struggled with low self-confidence when I was growing up...it was hard that is why I always tell this to everyone watch your words...because words can make or break someone...


And words hurt deeply if coming from the people you trust and love...


There is only one thing I wanna tell you...you need to move out from your parents....that is the first thing you should do to slowly regain your self confidence...you deserve to be treated better...I am not saying you disown your parents I mean move out from them and start a life on your own...


I'll keep you in my prayers bro. God bless you 🙏🏻 ❤

 

[justahumanbeing]

You came here and basically talked down about your own mother, then got offended and accused people of judging when they responded with the information You provided. You don't get to come to a site, bad mouth your parent, then play the victim when people accept your claims of being abused and speak against her. It was Your words and Your post that started this. And the First message You shared was "my mother is abusive".
Perhaps your lack of sharing further information and only focusing on one side of your mother's behavior is the root problem, not everyone else?

But we see this way too often on this site. People coming here claiming to seek advice when really what they want is their own beliefs confirmed.

And it's funny you accusing of others judging when you yourself stated no one else had been in a similar situation. How can you claim that unless you yourself are judging others?

I agree not everything said to you here was good, but I see you being equally as guilty as those you are quick to criticize. You are not innocent, either.

I shared what I shared here to vent out. Yes, my mother can be abusive. Maybe, my honesty was a mistake here? I don't know.

So you accept every advice given to you? That's you. But I have the right to accept what I deem best for me and my situation and I have to do what I know needs to be done in my life. I also have the right to decide what is not for me too. End of the day, it's my life. My headache.

I'm sure everyone here meant well with what they said.

What I don't need to accept is someone bad mouthing my mother as "ungodly". If anything, that's not her. But yes. When a person goes through tremendous abuse from society and her own family, her church and has no one except her sons to back her up, somethings will be broken within her for life.

But I don't find anything funny about what I shared here. Maybe you find my life's situation humorous? Let it be that way.

I will definitely defend my mother if someone calls her ungodly. I've no need to justify myself to you or anyone in this site or anywhere in the world. I've no bad feelings with anyone here despite all the conversations. But I will be assertive if someone is going to judge my mother right off the bat inaccurately.

You see, I can even do without the advice. But a problem shared is a problem halved. That's why I shared. Look at it, judge it and understand it however you wish. I cannot help you there.

I shared here what I shared in my loneliness and lack of listening ears to hear what is happening in my life. I absolutely have no friends to listen to me at this time of my life except for the one confidant God gave me whom I meet once a week just to talk to about what goes on in my life.

You got me. I am not innocent. I am not perfect either. Never said I was. I understand that I could be wrong too. I was never looking to confirm my beliefs. What I am looking for though are answers. And everyone here gave one. Including you. And I'll think about it. But it can't be forced on me. And that's not right.

I submit to God's will and His understanding. I am nothing before Him. I have always got the best from Him and He will give me what is best. If I've done something wrong here, then I ask God to forgive me.

 

[justahumanbeing]

Please listen this song .
I believe that those words that this brother shared with you is exactly what the Lord wants to tell you . We wants you to understand exactly who you are in Christ. How precious you are to him . And this song is call the God who sees . And show how God loves and cares and how much he’s present in all moments of our lives .
I’ll try to resume my testimony because is toooo long , but I was raised in a very beautiful and Christian family. At my age of 14 I found out that my father who was a very “ serious Christian “ was living a double life and having an affair. He also involved us with the other woman, because she was his “secretary “ and knowing and having no courage to tell my mom , me and my sisters suffer a lot of pressure and guilty and emotional confusions , my dad was doing everything he always preached that was sin . And my faith was shaking. He stop going to church and was always lying to my
Mom and that makes me stop believing in church and ppl . Since my example and model was a lie ( my dad ) . I got rebellious and start drinking, dating and with 23 years old I had a strong experience with God and left Brasil and came to USA to visit 2 of my sisters and my pastors cousins. And it was a life changing experience, for the first time in my life I saw ppl preaching by living the word and not only saying the words of God , their daylight lives touched me deeply and I had a very special encounter with God and repent. I ended my engagement in Brasil and decided to stay and follow Jesus and Jesus told me something very important, he told me Sula , I didn’t great you to be use by man but by God , stop controlling your life and let me guide you . Seek holiness and don’t date . Wait and in the right time I will Blessed you with the person I have for you. And I can’t explain but I felt so special and loved and all I wanted it was seek the Lord and be in love with him and please him and let him work all things in my life .
That was in 2001 . I’m still single , but I’m peace knowing that the Lord has all my days planned and by my relationship w him , I’ll know exactly what to do . My dad left us when I came to usa and we took our mom to be with us in Usa . My dad , for 15 years was away from us . Not caring about us only living his life w the other family. In 2015 he had a stroke and the “ other family “ didn’t want him and he came to us . Now he lives w me , he depends on me to do anything, he barely walk , and I work from home and take care of him . He’s very demanding and does a lot of things that hurts me deeply . I had to stop a lot of my dreams behind ( like photography- and others to be able to take care of him ) . But I have being molded in Jesus likeness every day and have an opportunity to be light , to let he see Jesus in everything I do . I know that here is not our eternal home so I’m leaning how to live looking to eternity by his side . I confess that a lot of times I cry a lot , and feel exhausted and sometimes overwhelmed. I have some health issues because of fibromyalgia, but I see the Lord doing miracles in everything. But I Totally understand how emotional abuse parents can be . My dad daily complain and says a lot of things that hurts , but I go to my room and cry and put all in the hands of my Jesus . And I confess that sometimes I get discouraged and the devil tries to make me blame God from all things that never happened in my life ( like being married or having. My own family.. kids ) or even makes me to blame God from everything bad happening) But the Lord is so amazing that he’s always closer to me and showing me my value being his own child and always shows me that everything works for the good of those who loves the Lord . My Church is very supportive and always by my side and I know that I’m not alone even feeling alone sometimes. So I want to encourage you to look all Jesus virtues and seek him daily with all of your heart . Pray about everything.
Ask the Lord , Lord help me to understand your will , show me where you want me to work , show a place where I can work and be light and help ppl to know you . Pray about ur relationship with him to be deeper every day , for you to be thirsty for his worlds and presence . Learn to delight in him and let him take all your burdens . All thoughts ask him to organize and like James says ask for wisdom and he will give to you . If you need a friend , I’m here as your sister to encourage you. May the Lord fill your heart with his peace , and joy and May he heal your heart from every past hurts and help you to find yourself in his arms of Love .
Be blessed and I’ll pray for you.
Sorry I’m not very good “ resume “ my testimony

Dear Sister,

I thank you for sharing with me your story. I can relate to what you are telling me. It's amazing how you do this for your father and it is hard to hear that you actually help him in his time of need the way that you do. You are doing what is pleasing in God's eyes. Because you opened up your life to me for me to see God through your eyes, I'll share here and now with you my testimony or rather more about how my mother is so that you can better understand.

Before that, I pray that our Lord Jesus grant you the strength you need in difficult times where you feel unappreciated and unloved by the man whom you have loved and cared for since your youth up until this time. You are in your middle age now and have seen life and fought hard and still are fighting for your faith and for a good life. I pray that God reward you with the best both in this life and in heaven. Nothing is impossible for our God.

My faith in Jesus, I got though my mother. My mother is the strongest woman I know. Here in India, it's all arranged marriages you see. She never wanted to marry. She just wanted to live her life doing ministry work as a spinster. She was forced into marriage with a man (My father) whom she knew and didn't want to marry.

She was physically beaten by my father herself. There are things I saw as a kid I cannot say here. It's too traumatic. A lot of abusive words were used. My father was very unfaithful throughout his marriage. All right in front of our very eyes. Lived a life contrary to his marriage vows. Left the family to do as he pleased and live another life.

My mother's family didn't believe in divorce at the time all this happened. Don't think they do even now. So, two unhappy couples stuck with each other. My father was hardly home as he stayed overseas. Every time he came home, he would fight and be abusive with my mother and us.

She took it all and did for us (her children) what the best parents in the world would do. Sacrifice their lives so that we can be brought up the way they think best for us.

But along the way, there's the way the church looks at a woman who is alone raising her kids without the husband. Then there are the neighbours and the gloating relatives and the fear of judgement from society can all bear down heavily on a woman like my mother. And guess where she took out all that aggression on. Me. My brother too.

What good values I have, I got from her. She's a very imperfect woman. But she's pure woman. In the sense that she hasn't known another man besides my father. She still maintains all that. And that's all she has. So, if she is this way. It's the Church that made her that way. Her family, her surroundings that made her that way. She was alright to start off with. I knew who she was when I was young. But my mother cannot listen to one complete sentence from me without interrupting me today.

She lacks basic rationale and logic and is sometimes delusional. And age has caught up with her. We as her children understand what was done to her. What all happened. We understand. We are supportive. And yes, I agree with the moving out of my home and all that to start a new life. I know that and I have common sense to understand all that.

But, there's a way for people to say it.

And God willing, it will happen in His time. I'm working for it. There's a time for things to happen as well.

Today, I'm a Christian with my Bible. I know how abusive churches can be. I've been to many. How judgemental. But I don't hold back from sharing my faith and my love for God, for Jesus as a believer. I do go for Sunday service when I can. When I can't, I still hold the sabbath sacred.

I live my life holding on to what God expects of His children. To forgive, to love and to have and practice Christian values. I always look to God and am connected with God in everything I do. I try to keep that connection always even in times of weakness. I'm not perfect. Always working on myself.

And that's me. I thank you for your prayers very much. It means the world to me what you have shared. I accept your friendship and though I may not always send DMs and all that. If you did, I will always reply. And I am there for you to be heard by you in return if you wished to share something with me. Thank you and God bless you and your family!

P.S. - Thank you for sharing that video. It is a good narration of the salvation history given in The Bible right from Hagar to Ruth to King David to Mary Magdalene. How God works in these individuals lives and how important Our Saviour's sacrifice in the cross was for us. Thanks for sharing.

 

[justahumanbeing]

I'll be praying for you...I understand the struggle...I struggled with low self-confidence when I was growing up...it was hard that is why I always tell this to everyone watch your words...because words can make or break someone...


And words hurt deeply if coming from the people you trust and love...


There is only one thing I wanna tell you...you need to move out from your parents....that is the first thing you should do to slowly regain your self confidence...you deserve to be treated better...I am not saying you disown your parents I mean move out from them and start a life on your own...


I'll keep you in my prayers bro. God bless you 🙏🏻 ❤

Thank you for hearing me. And for keeping me in your prayers.

I know that it is important for me to leave my home to start a family of my own. I knew way back and still know even today that I am in no position to start a new family in my present home. I'm working towards it and if God wills it, it will happen as He wants it to happen.

I thank you again for your prayers and God bless you too Sister 🙏🏻