(1) The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” But, every child of God who desires to be married will not get married. How do you reconcile the two?
Arguably helper is a spouse as Proverbs 18:22 says "he who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD."
We know "God is not a man, that he should lie"... "hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good?"
So, if a child of God has surrendered to His will, and God has placed the desire for marriage in the person's heart and promised He will make a helper suitable for him, why do some end up single?
The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord. So, even if one detours and is not in the will of God, wouldn't God reroute his child (if there has been a complete submission to His will over the individual's will)? Or, wouldn't He remove the desire?
(2) Do you believe you have one soulmate? I do, by the way, since God knows the end from the beginning and He knew every choice we would make. He says He knew us before we were formed in the womb. I believe God cares about every detail of our lives. There are no two ppl on earth with the same fingerprints. So, why would something as important as one's spouse not be predestined?
Look forward to hearing what others think about the above topics
Interesting... can you reconcile your statement with the below Scripture?
But for Adam no suitable helper was found. 21 So the LordGod caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
23 The man said,
“This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
for she was taken out of man.”
24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
Hi Sheborn, welcome to CC!
As some have pointed out, this topic gets brought up a lot. As a lifelong member of the Christian community (which I'm not mentioning just as background, not any kind of clout,) I have seen the topic of "It is not good for the man to be alone," discussed many, many times. Even though I am a woman, when I was younger, I bought into interpretations that God had a wonderful, heavenly, almost magical person for each of us and everything would be harps and clouds if we just listened and obeyed.
I see this especially on Christian dating sites -- so many people believing that God's best for them must absolutely mean everything they want, even if they don't qualify for those things themselves (i.e, wanting to marry a fitness model when one is 60 lbs. overweight, or wanting to marry someone wealthy when that person hasn't learned to to manage their own personal finances.)
As I've gotten older (and am still single,) I've often thought about why, when people talk about the passages that promote marriage in the Bible, there is no mention of other cases revolving around marriage that aren't so pretty.
These days I am part of the camp in that believes God was speaking to Adam specifically ("It is not good for the man to be alone") in a very specific situation -- I do not believe He was speaking to all of humankind (after all, the New Testament says some were born eunichs because God made them that way.)
Now I could very well be wrong -- it's one of the things I look forward to God revealing to us in heaven, but when we talk about marriage being God's supposed human-wide decree, why doesn't anyone include:
1. Jeremiah, who was instructed NOT to marry, no arguing about it. (Jeremiah 16:2)
2. God told Hosea to marry a prostitute who would keep leaving him for other men -- he had no choice in the matter. (Hosea 1:2-4)
3. God told Ezekiel in advance that He was going to take away "the delight of your eyes," and yet Ezekiel was not allowed to weep or mourn. (Ezekiel 24:15-27)
And these were about as choice of men of God as you can get -- neither wayward nor unbelieving -- and yet this is what God decided for them. Why does every Christian single think they will somehow be the exception?
Somehow the Christian single community will zero in on the just the point of God deciding that Adam being alone was not good and he needed a helper. Why are these examples of other outcomes never mentioned as a balance? Why is there an assumption that something meant for Adam must also be meant for everyone else, but these examples are just isolated cases to be brushed under the rug? I understand why no one would want to believe these situations could apply to them. But that doesn't seem to be how real life in a sinful world works.
As in the case of Jeremiah, I believe some may be told they cannot marry, for whatever reason God has. I also believe that like Hosea, God may tell some to marry difficult people just because it's His will and He has a modern-day purpose in it (I knew someone once who believed God was telling them to marry a violent alcoholic, and this person did so, believing they were hearing from and obeying God.) In other cases, even if someone does fight "the delight of their eyes," that does not mean that God will allow them a lifetime together, because He may decide to cut it short, for whatever reason He sees fit. As it is, God rarely takes both people in a marriage at the same time. Anyone who marries must also know that there is a 50/50 chance they will once again wind up single.
You brought up the question asking, why wouldn't God take away the desire if we weren't to be married if it wasn't supposed to happen? God doesn't necessarily take away desires just because they go unfulfilled. He clearly says, "Deny yourselves -- pick up your cross, and follow Me." In some cases, faith is proven stronger, or even just to exist, when He still allows something in our lives (such as a desire for something we never see fulfilled) that we have to set aside and prove our loyalty by continuing to follow Him, no matter what happens.
I understand that marriage is a very important part of the Christian community, especially among singles. But I personally now believe that it has to be handled REALISTICALLY. One of my own disappointments in church culture was the almost mythical belief that EVERYONE has a God-given "perfect someone" out there whom they will have a forever blissful wedded life with, and somehow God absolutely promises that. If I can, I will happily spare anyone else the grief of buying into that and seeing it all go kaput.
To me, one of the most valuable adjustments I've made in my single Christian walk is to accept that a happy marriage just isn't promised nor guaranteed, but there are a lot of other ways that God can bless your life and make it meaningful, whether one eventually marries or not.
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