Professing Christian, no fruit

[Songbrd]

Would you date (or be in a committed relationship) someone who said they were a Christian, but had no desire to talk about the things of God and the bible? They say they enjoy going to church with you, but there is no real evidence that they are growing, or that they are truly interested in pursuing God outside of the Sunday morning service?

 

[Lynx]

This depends on many things, like the age of the person in question, what fruit you are expecting and the reason(s) you don't see them.

No way we could give a cut-and-dried answer to this.

 

[Live4Him3]

Would you date (or be in a committed relationship) someone who said they were a Christian, but had no desire to talk about the things of God and the bible? They say they enjoy going to church with you, but there is no real evidence that they are growing, or that they are truly interested in pursuing God outside of the Sunday morning service?

No, I would not.

People ultimately do and talk about the things that they are truly passionate about or that is what they willfully and happily devote their time and energy to.

 

[mailmandan]

There are genuine Christians and there are "nominal" Christians. There are genuine believers and there are make believers.

 

[JohnDB]

My relationship with God is the primary thing in my life.
It colors and shapes everything I do.

And my wife is the exact same way.

I once was involved with someone like the OP is describing....I'm paying and have been paying for that gross error in judgement for over 30 years now.

It never ends....

 

[Lynx]

This depends on many things, like the age of the person in question, what fruit you are expecting and the reason(s) you don't see them.

No way we could give a cut-and-dried answer to this.

Hmm... I sit corrected (because I'm too indolent to stand corrected.) Apparently we CAN give you a cut-and-dried answer to this. Wow.

Maybe this is why I'm still single.

 

[Magenta]

No

 

[Magenta]

Welcome!

 

[cinder]

Would you date (or be in a committed relationship) someone who said they were a Christian, but had no desire to talk about the things of God and the bible? They say they enjoy going to church with you, but there is no real evidence that they are growing, or that they are truly interested in pursuing God outside of the Sunday morning service?

What exactly are you / we looking for as far as spiritual bona fides in a date? I don't want my dates or my marriage if I ever have one to always feel like I'm at Bible study or prayer meeting. And once we've kind of established we're on the same page spiritually, how much do we really need to talk Bible? Yes I'd be looking for committment to attending a local church and solid moral character, but I certainly don't want to be with the street preacher who thinks it's his full time 24/7 job to confront everyone who does something wrong with the Bible. So I guess I'd say, I want him to claim Christ and live like Christ, and if that leads to a life spent in ways that don't look particularly religious, I could be okay with that. If anything I'd probably welcome someone in my life who can help me see how everyday things can be more part of being committed to Christ than always doing churchy / religious things.

 

[JohnDB]

Hmm... I sit corrected (because I'm too indolent to stand corrected.) Apparently we CAN give you a cut-and-dried answer to this. Wow.

Maybe this is why I'm still single.

I wouldn't say that it's the ONLY reason.

It's that T-shirt you wear....
The one that says that you are a founding member of the "He-man woman haters club".
That probably has something to do with it as well.

 

[Lynx]

What exactly are you / we looking for as far as spiritual bona fides in a date? I don't want my dates or my marriage if I ever have one to always feel like I'm at Bible study or prayer meeting. And once we've kind of established we're on the same page spiritually, how much do we really need to talk Bible? Yes I'd be looking for committment to attending a local church and solid moral character, but I certainly don't want to be with the street preacher who thinks it's his full time 24/7 job to confront everyone who does something wrong with the Bible.

That is EXACTLY what I was thinking about when I said it depends on many things and I couldn't give a cut-and-dried answer. Thank you cinder.

 

[Lynx]

I wouldn't say that it's the ONLY reason.

It's that T-shirt you wear....
The one that says that you are a founding member of the "He-man woman haters club".
That probably has something to do with it as well.

You're confusing me with... ahem... certain other upstanding members of this forum. I wouldn't be caught dead in that shirt.

 

[JohnDB]

You're confusing me with... ahem... certain other upstanding members of this forum. I wouldn't be caught dead in that shirt.

I have it on good authority that you gave it to him because you " have a few extra lying around" is what he said.

You know that whole rumor mill thing and how it works....

 

[Lynx]

I have it on good authority that you gave it to him because you " have a few extra lying around" is what he said.

You know that whole rumor mill thing and how it works....

I try to know as little about the rumor mill as possible. The people who matter know me better than that, which is all I care about.

Why do you THINK I'm always singing or humming to myself? The primary purpose is drowning out all the rumors floating around me.

 

[JohnDB]

I try to know as little about the rumor mill as possible. The people who matter know me better than that, which is all I care about.

Why do you THINK I'm always singing or humming to myself? The primary purpose is drowning out all the rumors floating around me.

Ahhhhh
But this is the internet....

Rumors become viral on the internet.

Don't you want to become the central focus of a viral campaign?

Next thing you know is that you too can be hauled before congress to answer their idiotic questions.
And all because you gave away a T-shirt.

 

[Lynx]

Ahhhhh
But this is the internet....

Rumors become viral on the internet.

Don't you want to become the central focus of a viral campaign?

Next thing you know is that you too can be hauled before congress to answer their idiotic questions.
And all because you gave away a T-shirt.

I don't do viral stuff either. That sounds contagious, and post-covid you definitely want to avoid anything that seems contagious.

 

[JohnDB]

I don't do viral stuff either. That sounds contagious, and post-covid you definitely want to avoid anything that seems contagious.

Well it wasn't me that gave away the T-shirt....I'm a happily married man.

This one's all on you. If you hadn't given it away then the rumors wouldn't have started at all.

 

[Gideon300]

Would you date (or be in a committed relationship) someone who said they were a Christian, but had no desire to talk about the things of God and the bible? They say they enjoy going to church with you, but there is no real evidence that they are growing, or that they are truly interested in pursuing God outside of the Sunday morning service?

It's a difficult one. I would pray that God show me the truth about the person, if they are being agreeable to try and get a relationship going or if they really are saved. My daughter married an unbeliever who was a regular at church - until they married. 10 years later, she's still with him, but she has no Christian life to speak of. She believes, but that is as far as it goes.

 

[Runningman]

Would you date (or be in a committed relationship) someone who said they were a Christian, but had no desire to talk about the things of God and the bible? They say they enjoy going to church with you, but there is no real evidence that they are growing, or that they are truly interested in pursuing God outside of the Sunday morning service?

If they’re really a true Christian then I would probably date someone like that if they made me happy and comfortable.

If they wanted to talk about the Bible a lot then that’s cool I love that, but it isn’t required. If they have no other Biblical knowledge aside from faith in the gospel of Christ then that’s enough.

That’s not my ideal, though, and hopefully they could learn to expand their knowledge, gain new spiritual experiences, earnestly desire the gifts, love to pray, enjoy doing good works, and bear much fruit. I’m not even sure if these kind of Christians are common.

 

[Live4Him3]

Would you date (or be in a committed relationship) someone who said they were a Christian, but had no desire to talk about the things of God and the bible? They say they enjoy going to church with you, but there is no real evidence that they are growing, or that they are truly interested in pursuing God outside of the Sunday morning service?

I'll offer a more scriptural answer to your question than I did earlier, and I won't be the least bit surprised if some people here don't like it.

Seeing how you're a woman, I would be overly concerned if your potential spouse (assuming that that's what you're looking for) "has no desire to talk about the things of God and the Bible".

Why?

Well, here's one major reason why:

Ephesians chapter 5

[22] Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
[23] For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
[24] Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
[25] Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
[26] That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
[27] That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
[28] So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
[29] For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
[30] For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
[31] For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
[32] This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
[33] Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. |

Throughout scripture, God's covenant with his people is likened to a marriage covenant.

In the same manner in which Christ seeks to sanctify or set apart the church unto himself as a glorious bride while cleansing it with the washing of water by the word, so, too, ought a husband have the same care over his own wife. NOT as some sort of dictatorial warlord, but as one who is genuinely concerned about his wife's eternal destiny and who watches over her while seeking to similarly wash her with God's word if/when need be.

If your love interest or potential spouse shows no genuine desire for God's word, then they certainly seem unqualified to fulfill this role in their spouse's life, and they're quite possibly/probably unqualified to fulfill this role in their own life as well.

It's not a small matter.

At least not in God's sight.