Abraham was possibly under God's guidance to get Isaac a wife. He sent his servant to find her for Isaac. What are some qualities that God would see in a woman that would make Him happy to entrust one of His spiritual sons to her?
Hi Caleb!
First of all, I wanted to thank you for taking the time to write two threads from each gender's perspective and not just one. I really appreciate that you are looking for a balanced view.
This post isn't aimed towards you or anyone else directly -- it's mostly just me writing a few observations about some the discussions we've been having here lately in Singles.
I orignally wrote about this in the "soulmate" thread because Isaac and Rebekah were given as possible examples of God creating soulmates, since Abraham's servant Eliezer prayed to find the right woman and God led him right to her.
I think it's important when considering these topics that we keep a balanced perspective in mind. One of the things I think about as time goes by, as I see what married couples struggle with, and as I hear Christian singles talk about trying to find the absolute "ONE" that "God has for them" is that even if Isaac and Rebekah WERE soulmates, their marriage was about as troubled as it one could get.
Everyone talks about how God chose for them to be together, and maybe even made them for each other, but... It's ironic to me that when other things are mentioned like Hosea being called to marry a prostitute, or God taking Ezekiel's wife from this life in the middle of the night but he was not allowed to mourn, most will say, "Well those were Old Testament prophets and called called them to be examples." There seems to be this implication of, "That was the Old Testament -- God doesn't call people to hard situations like that anymore."
But yet, if we talk about Isaac and Rebekeh, there seems to be this thought of, "God made them as soulmates (even though this too happened in the Old Testament,) and He ABSOLUTELY MUST do the same today!!! All I have to do is find the one He made for me!" So it's kind of like... "Let's choose to believe God doesn't do certain things anymore, like call people to hard married lives... But let's believe that God makes special soulmates for one another!" So then is there then an assumption that this automatically leads to joyous, prayerful marriages?
Now this may very well be true in some cases, but why do people concentrate on the beginning of Isaac and Rebekah's story -- "God made them for each other!" and not the "look what happened" after they actually got married and were together.
If God told Isaac (or any of His sons today) before he married Rebekah, "Yes, she has good character -- she watered a stranger's camels without asking. Yes, she's beautiful. But you and her are going to favor different sons, and she is going to deceive and lie to you, causing you to miss out on most of your younger son's life, creating hatred to the point of wars between him and his brother's descendants for generations to come." Would Issac have still married Rebekah if he knew this side of her character?
If God told Rebekah (or any of his daughters today) before marrying Isaac, "Yes, he's wealthy -- so much so that his enemies envy him, and I am the the One behind his wealth. But when you need him most, he is going to desert you. Other men will notice your beauty, and when they want you for themselves, he is going to lie in order to save his own life at the cost of abusing and endangering yours." Would Rebekah still have married Isaac if she knew this side of his character?
My point, whether they were God's personal example of soulmates or not, and whatever good character they had, it sure did go out the window at various points during their marriage, leading to permanent damage both within their family and the peoples their families would create.
I chose character in the poll because it was the choice I most agreed with, but I think it's important that even the most Godly of people are often not spared the worst things that can happen, even if the people and marriage itself were chose and hand-picked by God.
The reason I'm emphasizing this so much is because if things go wrong in a marriage, the first thing other Christians will say is, "You must not have chosen someone of Godly character -- you made the wrong choice, and therefore, you can only blame yourself."
But the story of Isaac and Rebekah shows what can happen even IF you choose someone with Godly character, and not only that, are called by God to marry and possibly even made for each other.
Because of this, I can't help but wonder if the most important thing to be able to be a good husband or wife isn't just about character, but more than anything else, is really about a willingness to trust and obey God's will, no matter what happens -- even if you do find a God-given soulmate and both people make the worst choices possible and everyone suffers the fallout.
