Can Men and Women Be Platonic Friends?

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Hazelelponi

Well-known member
Jul 8, 2019
609
397
63
USA
You have literally just described me! The same male friend who stepped in, in that situation I recounted above did turn around and wanted to date me, marry me and the whole lot. So I told him that I really don't want to ruin our friendship because my expectations will change and because we know so much about each other, I don't think it was such a good idea. You have no idea just how many enemies I've made out of guys because of this friendship thing. I think it's mainly because most men detest rejection and in most cases don't take it well. I have been a loner for most of my life because of the jealousy and envy I almost always face with women. So until I meet my God-given man, I am content to just be alone. Except, off course for some of the beautiful people here and some other sites that I engage with from time to time. Hope you know you're one of them!
I definitely hope to be one of them... :) I'll be that older woman you're friends with!
 

Live4Him3

Jesus is Lord
May 19, 2022
1,383
639
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You have a listening flaw. There I said it. Let me explain, earlier today I said to you that you are attractive when you dont talk about your ex or others. It was a compliment a true compliment to encourage you to do more of the same. Now you have inserted another insult about Caleb. Now you guys want honesty right?
Actually, I have no such flaw.

I heard what you said and understood it, but here's what you seemingly don't understand...

On the one hand, there are men who would hear about such an attraction and selfishly do whatever is necessary to maintain or grow that attraction with no real regard for you. In other words, they're only after what they can get from you.

On the other hand, there are men who would hear about such an attraction and selflessly do whatever is necessary to best protect you even if that diminishes or puts a complete end to such an attraction. In other words, they're only after what's best for you.

This guy is a misogynist, and, with such being the case, I view him as a danger to women like you.

If you find it unattractive that a man like me would stand up to somebody like him in order to potentially protect you and other women here, then so be it.

I have nothing else to say except thank you for telling me what you honestly believe.
 
J

Jackieboy100

Guest
I definitely hope to be one of them... :) I'll be that older woman you're friends with!
I just saw your message and it was such a pleasant surprise. I am going to reply and introduce myself properly in a bit. You're a breath of fresh air that is much needed here. Thank you so much for being here!
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,947
8,184
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Your comments bore me. Some people have such low self-esteem that sometimes just the presence of another person makes them feel like the person is bragging. You run around with a wounded heart, thinking a woman will give you a chance because she feels sorry for you. You're chasing a woman's love and saying and doing all the things that turn women off. But you're too self-righteous to see that the problem is you, not all those 'worldly women' out there.

Remember this: no one dislikes another person for thinking they're special; whoever dislikes someone for that, the real issue isn't that the other person thinks they're special; the real issue is that the person doing the disliking thinks the other person is special. And they hate themselves for it. Because you can't hate other people for their own personal thoughts about themselves. Human Psychology 202.

I'm like a city on a hill. I have to purposely hide the qualities about myself that people (especially women) are drawn to because a.) people's evaluation of me is not my evaluation of myself, and b.) I don't want to be a stumbling block to anyone. You think you're having a bad life now; you should hear some of the compliments I've gotten from women. Let's list a few reasons you should be angry.

Things Women Like About Caleb:

1.) I'm handsome.

2.) I have a nice body.

3.) I'm confident.

4.) I'm very ambitious.

5.) I know what I want.

6.) I'm unapologetic.

7.) I'm honest.

8.) I don't take myself too seriously.

9.) I'm mysterious.

10.) I'm outgoing.

11.) I love people.

12.) I have integrity.

13.) I respect everyone no matter their status in life.

14.) I'm authentic.

15.) I'm witty, sometimes sarcastic.

16.) I love humor.

17.) I love being active.

18.) I'm versatile and adaptable to different people and environments and circumstances.

19.) I enjoy everything (sports, singing, every type of music, dancing, drawing, camping, museums, travel, art galleries, fashion, orchestras, fishing, mixed martial arts, eating out, shopping, movies, serious things, fun things, and everything in between).

20.) I speak several languages.

21.) I care about the weak, fragile, and vulnerable.

22.) I'm intelligent.

23.) I genuinely love myself and enjoy my own company.

24.) I'm courageous.

25.) I value people for themselves rather than what I can get from them.

Things Women Like About Live4Him3:

1.) He can be used as a listening ear.

2.) He can be used and then discarded.

Am I not magnificent? Am I not a gift from angels above to womenfolk below? SMH. You can't be saved. Western nations as a whole create weak, beta men who think it's normal to cater to women. And the churches are even worse, making men so weak that they often become useless to God and His purposes-- men who are eager to go to war and fight 'the bad guys' so we can feel strong and dutiful, but unable to stand up or fight for justice here in our homeland. Am I not magnificent? You don't have to follow my threads anymore. You're on ignore now where I put not people who disagree with me, but people who are disagreeable.
*Lynx sits back on his haunches and begins caterwalling...

Lord it's hard to be humble
When you're perfect in every way
I can't wait to look in the mirror
Cuz I get better everyday
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,947
8,184
113
I cant even name them cause they will get offended.
So what? If somebody does get offended, what can a random person on an internet forum do to you?

SonsofCaleb got offended and put me on ignore. So what? It doesn't affect my paycheck at my job. It doesn't affect how my friends think about me in real life. It doesn't affect anything about my family or my church.

Some people actively look for things to be offended about. So what? Ignore them and move on. If you dwell on it you'll just get a headache.
 
Mar 4, 2020
8,614
3,679
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Your comments bore me. Some people have such low self-esteem that sometimes just the presence of another person makes them feel like the person is bragging. You run around with a wounded heart, thinking a woman will give you a chance because she feels sorry for you. You're chasing a woman's love and saying and doing all the things that turn women off. But you're too self-righteous to see that the problem is you, not all those 'worldly women' out there.

Remember this: no one dislikes another person for thinking they're special; whoever dislikes someone for that, the real issue isn't that the other person thinks they're special; the real issue is that the person doing the disliking thinks the other person is special. And they hate themselves for it. Because you can't hate other people for their own personal thoughts about themselves. Human Psychology 202.

I'm like a city on a hill. I have to purposely hide the qualities about myself that people (especially women) are drawn to because a.) people's evaluation of me is not my evaluation of myself, and b.) I don't want to be a stumbling block to anyone. You think you're having a bad life now; you should hear some of the compliments I've gotten from women. Let's list a few reasons you should be angry.

Things Women Like About Caleb:

1.) I'm handsome.

2.) I have a nice body.

3.) I'm confident.

4.) I'm very ambitious.

5.) I know what I want.

6.) I'm unapologetic.

7.) I'm honest.

8.) I don't take myself too seriously.

9.) I'm mysterious.

10.) I'm outgoing.

11.) I love people.

12.) I have integrity.

13.) I respect everyone no matter their status in life.

14.) I'm authentic.

15.) I'm witty, sometimes sarcastic.

16.) I love humor.

17.) I love being active.

18.) I'm versatile and adaptable to different people and environments and circumstances.

19.) I enjoy everything (sports, singing, every type of music, dancing, drawing, camping, museums, travel, art galleries, fashion, orchestras, fishing, mixed martial arts, eating out, shopping, movies, serious things, fun things, and everything in between).

20.) I speak several languages.

21.) I care about the weak, fragile, and vulnerable.

22.) I'm intelligent.

23.) I genuinely love myself and enjoy my own company.

24.) I'm courageous.

25.) I value people for themselves rather than what I can get from them.

Things Women Like About Live4Him3:

1.) He can be used as a listening ear.

2.) He can be used and then discarded.

Am I not magnificent? Am I not a gift from angels above to womenfolk below? SMH. You can't be saved. Western nations as a whole create weak, beta men who think it's normal to cater to women. And the churches are even worse, making men so weak that they often become useless to God and His purposes-- men who are eager to go to war and fight 'the bad guys' so we can feel strong and dutiful, but unable to stand up or fight for justice here in our homeland. Am I not magnificent? You don't have to follow my threads anymore. You're on ignore now where I put not people who disagree with me, but people who are disagreeable.
Personally I think that’s good you can identify those good things about yourself. I see a number of others have taken offense to it, but in context of a singles forum I think men and women should be cognizant of their self-worth and their marketability in the dating arena. Quite frankly, women want the qualities you have and there’s a long list of qualities men want women to have too.

There’s an ideal spouse and then there’s what someone is willing to accept. What someone is willing to accept may be the core necessities. I’d be willing yo accept a woman who singularly brought me peace, but a woman must have many other qualities to be capable of that. My ideal spouse would have a very impressive résumé.

Honestly I think people should be more empowered and enabled to say many good things about themselves and of course praise God for the good things He gives. Often times people are quick to assume the worst of someone and associate them with negative terms, but personally I just believe you’re confident and realistic because I feel like we’ve talked enough for me to understand that you’re genuine.

My opinion, Christians seem to try to imitate an overly humble persona, at least exteriorly, but those same people would be hard-pressed to accept a potential spouse who literally had nothing of value to offer a relationship even if they were a Christian. Christians just aren’t looking for other Christians to date, they want what all other humans want, too. They want their date and potential spouse to be attractive physically, mentally, they want them to be successful, among many other things.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,177
113
are you talking about money (something of value to offer) or potential earning power because I have known some very unhappy rich wives. And if their husbands were very attractive it also meant they could easily find another when they just got tired of their current one.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,177
113
Coveting isnt really the greatest of traits in a Christian.

I want this, I want that. whatever. Its like talking to babies sometimes. You want your mamma or daddy thats the thing. Then you throw them over to find a spouse right?
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,177
113
The kumara doesnt say thats its sweet.

This was an old maori whakatauki/proverb

I think in the Bible the proverb is about letting others testify of your good character. This is why Jesus never wrote an autobiography.
 
A

akaDorthy

Guest
I think that’s good you can identify those good things about yourself. I see a number of others have taken offense to it
I guess you missed all his other posts where he's boasting and bragging (even while saying he isn't) , THEN went on to tell someone to be prepared for some serious bragging by him :rolleyes:

See for yourself:
Wow, there's a lot here. I'll be back to respond in a few. Live4Him, you better get ready for some bragging in the meantime.

With an attitude like that it really doesn't matter how many "good traits" he lists, it just makes him look all that much more :unsure: let's just say "undesirable".

All these girls he claims to be able to get, I seriously question that. But let's just pretend there is some truth to it, I seriously question the girls. Sure, some may be real good looking, but any female who falls for the B.S he's bragging about must be severely "damaged goods"
 
Mar 4, 2020
8,614
3,679
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I guess you missed all his other posts where he's boasting and bragging (even while saying he isn't) , THEN went on to tell someone to be prepared for some serious bragging by him :rolleyes:

See for yourself:





With an attitude like that it really doesn't matter how many "good traits" he lists, it just makes him look all that much more :unsure: let's just say "undesirable".
The contexts are different. One context was he really wasn’t bragging hence why he didn’t put his picture up so that people would know him by his words, not his face.

The other context reads like a joke to me because the person he was responding to was humble-bragging.
 

TheNarrowPath

Well-known member
Jul 17, 2022
1,012
546
113
I'm still at work, but I have a quick sincere question...

What did you mean by leaving yourself open to my reply?

That could mean two totally different things, and that is why I'm asking.

Thanks.
It means Im going to read it, whether you think Im the one correcting or you disagree...Im open to it. Do you want to continue this on this thread or privately?
 

TheNarrowPath

Well-known member
Jul 17, 2022
1,012
546
113
Actually, I have no such flaw.

I heard what you said and understood it, but here's what you seemingly don't understand...

On the one hand, there are men who would hear about such an attraction and selfishly do whatever is necessary to maintain or grow that attraction with no real regard for you. In other words, they're only after what they can get from you.

On the other hand, there are men who would hear about such an attraction and selflessly do whatever is necessary to best protect you even if that diminishes or puts a complete end to such an attraction. In other words, they're only after what's best for you.

This guy is a misogynist, and, with such being the case, I view him as a danger to women like you.

If you find it unattractive that a man like me would stand up to somebody like him in order to potentially protect you and other women here, then so be it.

I have nothing else to say except thank you for telling me what you honestly believe.
Youre continuing to do what makes you unattractive and that is badmouth others. How can you not see this? Please stop it. And if Caleb or anyone is doing it please stop it.
I dont need protection from anyone here tbh I had to rely on God to give me strength because I had come across so called nice guys online and they were the ones who were out to use me.
Christian women should not be getting themselves into trouble where they need or rely on their husband to get them out of a bad situation. There is a big difference between protecting a wife from an armed intruder in your home and a woman who disagrees with a man online.
I wasnt trying to upset you about the listening flaw. I have it too with my own family. It is something Im trying to correct.
 

Live4Him3

Jesus is Lord
May 19, 2022
1,383
639
113
Youre continuing to do what makes you unattractive and that is badmouth others. How can you not see this? Please stop it. And if Caleb or anyone is doing it please stop it.
I dont need protection from anyone here tbh I had to rely on God to give me strength because I had come across so called nice guys online and they were the ones who were out to use me.
Christian women should not be getting themselves into trouble where they need or rely on their husband to get them out of a bad situation. There is a big difference between protecting a wife from an armed intruder in your home and a woman who disagrees with a man online.
I wasnt trying to upset you about the listening flaw. I have it too with my own family. It is something Im trying to correct.
You didn't upset me at all.

It's probably best if we just end our discussion here.

Again, I sincerely thank you and respect you for stating how you honestly feel, and I agree with certain things that you've said, but on other points we're worlds apart.

No offense to you whatsoever, but I'm bowing out of this discussion altogether.

Have a blessed night.
 

TheNarrowPath

Well-known member
Jul 17, 2022
1,012
546
113
So what? If somebody does get offended, what can a random person on an internet forum do to you?

SonsofCaleb got offended and put me on ignore. So what? It doesn't affect my paycheck at my job. It doesn't affect how my friends think about me in real life. It doesn't affect anything about my family or my church.

Some people actively look for things to be offended about. So what? Ignore them and move on. If you dwell on it you'll just get a headache.
Are you coming into his threads looking to instigate tho? It seems like it does affect you, you keep returning to his threads and actively hoping he can read your replies. Why does he affect you that way? Or is it just entertainment where you do your gets out popcorn thing. He actually had valid points to make. Kinda like how a lot of people dissed Trump for the grab by the p remark yet Trump had policies that changed peoples lives. Why cant you ignore when he brags. You take the bait tho.
I might just have to answer the next thread and thats it. Not even bother reading what others have to say.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,947
8,184
113
Are you coming into his threads looking to instigate tho? It seems like it does affect you, you keep returning to his threads and actively hoping he can read your replies. Why does he affect you that way? Or is it just entertainment where you do your gets out popcorn thing. He actually had valid points to make. Kinda like how a lot of people dissed Trump for the grab by the p remark yet Trump had policies that changed peoples lives. Why cant you ignore when he brags. You take the bait tho.
I might just have to answer the next thread and thats it. Not even bother reading what others have to say.
With somebody who is this much of a blowhard, how can I pass it up? :cool:

You keep talking about people ganging up on the guy. If a large group of people all say the same thing, you might want to look closer at the person they are talking about and see if maybe they are right.

If one person says something negative about a video game, I generally overlook it. If there are many reviews about a certain game having a weak story line, I might watch a YouTube video before I buy that game and see if maybe they all right about it.
 

G00WZ

Senior Member
May 16, 2014
1,313
447
83
38
Most men say men and women can't be platonic friends. And most women say men and women can be platonic friends. How is each party defining 'friend', and why do they disagree?
As a rule no but there are always exceptions to the rules based on the people involved. I know with me i do and can pull it off nicely because im not giving too much of myself over or trying to get her either. If you know what you're doing and if you're aware enough about both peoples feelings and position you can bend the rules.

If it's between two lonely, thirsty date crazy people then NOPE it'll never work,they won't be platonic for long.
 

p_rehbein

Senior Member
Sep 4, 2013
30,229
6,557
113
Regarding the question posed in the OP Title:

Yes. I have several female friends, and our relationship is based on our Christian faith, and very platonic, I assure you.