About rules on Christian dating

[gb9]

What you seem to be advocating really frightens me, John.

1 Peter 2:11
“Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul;”

1 Thessalonians 5:22
“Abstain from all appearance of evil.”



I am completely aware of this secular sociology theory about what the world considers to be "normal human behavior". This comes from the same folks that are telling our children that they are merely advanced forms of the monkeys that swing from the trees with everything exposed to the breeze. What you espouse is fine for monkeys, but not for our children. Please leave them alone until you get things ironed out with God. Remember our prime objective for this short time we have on earth...

Luke 9:23
“And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.”

.

um, no, they are now telling kids that they can choose and change genders at will, were simply labeled boys and girls, they have to figure out what they are.

that is far, far more dangerous than heavy petting.

one is easy to repent from, one is much more harder to get out of a mindset.

 

[Webers.Home]

.
You don't own me,
I'm not just one of your many toys.
You don't own me,
Don't say I can't go with other boys.
(Lesley Gore 1963)

You ain't nothin' but a hound dog,
Cryin' all the time.
You ain't nothin' but a hound dog,
Cryin' all the time.
Well, you ain't never caught a rabbit
And you ain't no friend of mine.
Elvis Presley 1956
_

 

[JohnB]

Rules on christian dating....
🤔

This is to the men.
It varies from dad to dad and woman to woman. I'll explain...
Some dad's won't let their daughters work outside the home, while others are encouraged to pursue the highest paying career they can achieve. I'm talking about young adults mainly there. I only had one gf who was a physician and never considered another because I thought that she would likely put her career before her husband and family. It doesn't have to be that way as there are exceptions, but that was one of my standards.

A maid who worked for the retiring zoo director of the job that I was offered told me something very interesting. She said that a woman who works outside the home will lead to a higher divorce rate. This wasn't a preacher. This was a wise woman who just brought it up while chatting after the interview. Very interesting.

Regardless of who I dated, I was the one who set the standard, Not the girl. The preaching/ teaching that I heard provided the motivation that I learned while a young man listening to Baptist preachers after getting saved. The Word provided power and what Jesus prayed in John 17:17.
We can't expect the ladies to hold to standards that we don't set, however they need the protection of their parents until marriage. Then it's the husband's responsibility. If you can get to know the parents, you'll know more about the gal.

That may have been fine 200 years ago, but not today. Many women work outside of the home before getting married. Any mention of them needing protection will be met with laughter. Young women and men need to learn to make right choices and the consequences of making bad choices.

 

[JohnB]

"This is what the LORD commands for Zelophehad’s daughters: They may marry anyone they please as long as they marry within their father’s tribal clan. " Numbers 36:6 Only one rule....marry within their tribe.

 

[HealthAndHappiness]

That may have been fine 200 years ago, but not today. Many women work outside of the home before getting married. Any mention of them needing protection will be met with laughter. Young women and men need to learn to make right choices and the consequences of making bad choices.

That mainly what I see too. Working outside the home, that is. That's why I said it's up to their dads and the ladies who make those choices. They can do what they want and it won't bother me. I can see the fruit if those choices though. It seems that girls are steered and pushed into careers rather than filling roles as mothers. If that's what they have in mind, it's none of my business. I think it's God's desire that young women bear children and keep the home. If there's energy and time after that, perhaps a business or something that the Proverbs 31 ideal woman would accomplish in addition to the other job at home.

Before I graduated with my first degree from a secular university, 12 young ladies confided in me and a few to my ministry, that they had been forcefully raped by various men. I have a strong instinct to protect women, but it's impossible to be everywhere and chaperone every woman I know. I saw a need to develope skills that can be learned by the average woman that will help them defend themselves against harm. The lady earlier laughed with me but not about her need for protection.

I agree that young or old, we all should learn from our mistakes. We all make mistakes and sin. The school of hard knocks is the worst way to learn though IMHO.

 

[oyster67]

I've known couples who followed your way and the marriages did not last.

God's way. We know what the outcome is for following any other way, so your argument is irrelevant.

We can't expect the ladies to hold to standards that we don't set, however they need the protection of their parents until marriage.

They sure do, and this thread is a prime example of why.

Being alone on a couch watching a movie, holding hands, making out and not have sex. Have done that a few times. It's called self-control. You learn where to draw the line. It's a part of life. You also gain experience of what each of you likes with affection.

That post is so wrong in so many ways. "Making out"???? An unmarried woman's body is not something for you to experiment with. You draw the line by keeping your hands off her. That is what self-control is.

It's a part of life.

Not for the man of God.

You also gain experience of what each of you likes with affection.

That comes after marriage, not before. You have been warned. You would not be allowed to come within five miles of the young ladies in my community. Not the young men either, for that matter. Everything falls under the jurisdiction of God and His Word. No exceptions.

Luke 17:2
“It were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones.”

.

 

[Dirtman]

I've known couples who followed your way and the marriages did not last.

Their marriage didnt last because they are self indulged.
Marriage isnt about warm fuzzies or emotions at all. Its about discipline and investment . when one disciplines himself to invest in the care and well being of a woman and prayerfully seeks Biblical council, failure is not an option.

We live in a world of a nearly 50 % divorce rate and the churches numbers are nearly as dismal. The reason for such failure is sexual immorality and plain old self adsorption.

 

[oyster67]

that is far, far more dangerous than heavy petting.

We are talking about sexual foreplay before marriage. I am glad that you pointed out that what John is talking about is heavy petting, but grieved that you do not consider it to be dangerous.

 

[Dirtman]

God's way. We know what the outcome is for following any other way, so your argument is irrelevant.



They sure do, and this thread is a prime example of why.



That post is so wrong in so many ways. "Making out"???? An unmarried woman's body is not something for you to experiment with. You draw the line by keeping your hands off her. That is what self-control is.



Not for the man of God.



That comes after marriage, not before. You have been warned. You would not be allowed to come within five miles of the young ladies in my community. Not the young men either, for that matter. Everything falls under the jurisdiction of God and His Word. No exceptions.

Luke 17:2
“It were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones.”

.

And the oyster bears more pearls.

On the experience gaining portion.. If neither have experience then neither know what they "want or like" but with care and love they will work that out together. Its modernities obsession pornography that ruins this experience not ignorance.

There is no greater experience than starting from pure unadulterated ignorance and growing in intimacy and passion and love over the years. And this wonder is destroyed by pornography, adultery, and cultural hyper sexuality.

 

[Dirtman]

um, no, they are now telling kids that they can choose and change genders at will, were simply labeled boys and girls, they have to figure out what they are.

that is far, far more dangerous than heavy petting.

one is easy to repent from, one is much more harder to get out of a mindset.

One is the father of the other.

 

[Dirtman]

"This is what the LORD commands for Zelophehad’s daughters: They may marry anyone they please as long as they marry within their father’s tribal clan. " Numbers 36:6 Only one rule....marry within their tribe.

And our tribe or clan is as children of God.
And this does not supersede the law, do not commit adultery nor permit fornication.

 

[John146]

Being alone on a couch watching a movie, holding hands, making out and not have sex. Have done that a few times. It's called self-control. You learn where to draw the line. It's a part of life. You also gain experience of what each of you likes with affection.

The flesh will never learn to draw the line. In the flesh dwelleth no good thing. It is good not to bring touch at all into the relationship. If one can't avoid it, get a wife or husband.

1 Corinthians 7:
1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

 

[JohnB]

The flesh will never learn to draw the line. In the flesh dwelleth no good thing. It is good not to bring touch at all into the relationship. If one can't avoid it, get a wife or husband.

1 Corinthians 7:
1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

People who follow your advice will have short marriages. I know this from seeing couples who followed your advice. You have made even touching the opposite sex a sin.

 

[JohnB]

And our tribe or clan is as children of God.
And this does not supersede the law, do not commit adultery nor permit fornication.

Just because someone is a Christian does not mean you should marry them. According to some peoples way of thinking, Adam should have walked away from Eve. She was the one who fell, not him.

 

[JohnB]

Their marriage didnt last because they are self indulged.
Marriage isnt about warm fuzzies or emotions at all. Its about discipline and investment . when one disciplines himself to invest in the care and well being of a woman and prayerfully seeks Biblical council, failure is not an option.

We live in a world of a nearly 50 % divorce rate and the churches numbers are nearly as dismal. The reason for such failure is sexual immorality and plain old self adsorption.

They didn't last because they were not a match. Personality and habits can make a difference. A person can have bad habits that are not a sin, but those habits can destroy a marriage.

 

[JohnB]

God's way. We know what the outcome is for following any other way, so your argument is irrelevant.



They sure do, and this thread is a prime example of why.



That post is so wrong in so many ways. "Making out"???? An unmarried woman's body is not something for you to experiment with. You draw the line by keeping your hands off her. That is what self-control is.



Not for the man of God.



That comes after marriage, not before. You have been warned. You would not be allowed to come within five miles of the young ladies in my community. Not the young men either, for that matter. Everything falls under the jurisdiction of God and His Word. No exceptions.

Luke 17:2
“It were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones.”

.

By your way of thinking , Adam should have walked away from Eve.

 

[Ruby123]

At the end of the day we all answer to God individually where you cannot make excuses like you can here on Earth to one another. If it says thoughts are as much sin as action then lusting or going so far in actions knowingly using some sort of reason to justify and excuse will be answerable to God. Anotherwards dont use excuses for sexual sin, you are kidding yourself.

 

[JohnB]

At the end of the day we all answer to God individually where you cannot make excuses like you can here on Earth to one another. If it says thoughts are as much sin as action then lusting or going so far in actions knowingly using some sort of reason to justify and excuse will be answerable to God. Anotherwards dont use excuses for sexual sin, you are kidding yourself.

If you're saying just thinking of having sex is a sin, than you might as well go out and have sex.

 

[Ruby123]

If you're saying just thinking of having sex is a sin, than you might as well go out and have sex.

I am saying you are answerable to God, making excuses to man here on Earth is a waste of time.

 

[John146]

People who follow your advice will have short marriages. I know this from seeing couples who followed your advice. You have made even touching the opposite sex a sin.

It's not a sin. Where did you get that from? It's advice from God's word on how to avoid fornication. Don't touch. If I never drink alcohol, I'll never become an alcoholic.