So, where are you looking?

[kayem77]

To put this another way, after joining Christian groups and having the girls give speeches about how they wanted "bad boys", (Never sure what "bad boys" means exactly, but does seem to mean guys upfront about casual sex.) and having the self proclaimed "conservative christian" girl wave at me from a night club dance floor with some stranger's hands up her skirt. This image is forever etched into my mind of why not to bother with Christian girls and to rather just be in the situation of every other single person complaining about not knowing where to find a worthwhile partner. To me there really is no reason to bother trying to find a "christian" girl when they are not acting very christian anyhow.

Not every christian is a real christian, and you will recognize them for their fruits. Obviously everybody could say they are christians and love Jesus but that's why you have to be wise and recognize it by yourself, as Jesus told us to do. I could create a group called EVERY CHRISTIAN IS A PHONY just because I saw some hypocrites claiming they are christian and behaving the opposite, but that would only bitter me and also, it's not true.
Maybe you should attend another church, or maybe, another city. Or maybe....you are not prepared for a relationship right now and God wants you to focus in Him.

 

[Boanerges]

Church... University... no luck yet

 

[persecuted]

Not every christian is a real christian, and you will recognize them for their fruits. Obviously everybody could say they are christians and love Jesus but that's why you have to be wise and recognize it by yourself, as Jesus told us to do. I could create a group called EVERY CHRISTIAN IS A PHONY just because I saw some hypocrites claiming they are christian and behaving the opposite, but that would only bitter me and also, it's not true.
Maybe you should attend another church, or maybe, another city. Or maybe....you are not prepared for a relationship right now and God wants you to focus in Him.

I feel like I already wasted enough time trying to find the elusive christian girl. Now I am reminded of all of the "soft" christians.... people who don't tend to be very religious or attend church but who celebrate christmas and easter and when asked say they are christians. As this seems to be about 70% of the general population I see no reason to limit myself to church goers with apparent hypocrisy while drastically reducing the overall numbers of women available to me. Its easier to go with the flow and meet women in mainstream enviornments than to be headed out to hang in niche market events.

 

[kayem77]

I feel like I already wasted enough time trying to find the elusive christian girl. Now I am reminded of all of the "soft" christians.... people who don't tend to be very religious or attend church but who celebrate christmas and easter and when asked say they are christians. As this seems to be about 70% of the general population I see no reason to limit myself to church goers with apparent hypocrisy while drastically reducing the overall numbers of women available to me. Its easier to go with the flow and meet women in mainstream enviornments than to be headed out to hang in niche market events.

I don't attend any church here, but I have heard about this hypocrisy in them from a lot of people. If that's true that's really scary and sad . I'm actually trying to find a good one to find believer friends to support me and to support, and because the church is supposed to be a part of the normal christian life.

Maybe you are too focused in finding a girl? Don't you have good christian friends with whom you can meet more people or something? I think that if God sees you working for Him, he will provide you a girl, if that's what you need. After all, He knows all our needs. Don't despair, I think God has something planned for you but wants you to focus, who knows? He always works in ways we can't see.

Don't ever go with the flow, there's nothing good there.
We are called to be salmons, we swim upstream.

 

[persecuted]

I don't attend any church here, but I have heard about this hypocrisy in them from a lot of people. If that's true that's really scary and sad . I'm actually trying to find a good one to find believer friends to support me and to support, and because the church is supposed to be a part of the normal christian life.

Maybe you are too focused in finding a girl? Don't you have good christian friends with whom you can meet more people or something? I think that if God sees you working for Him, he will provide you a girl, if that's what you need. After all, He knows all our needs. Don't despair, I think God has something planned for you but wants you to focus, who knows? He always works in ways we can't see.

Don't ever go with the flow, there's nothing good there.
We are called to be salmons, we swim upstream.

I don't believe that God cares in the least about my love life. And I think he is passive about nearly everything and coud care less about a wretch like me in a world with 7 billion or so inhabitants. Can't say I believe in the power of prayer anymore either. Done enough of those unanswered things. No, chasing chicks is entirely your own responsibility. In those brief instances where you thought God assisted you you realize you were wrong because the girl turns out to have some major sexual history or problems of some sort and realize it was as likely that God was testing your faith to see if you'd take someone impure by his standards. Once in my life was I dumb enough to think God had given me a girl but it took me years of pain to figure out he wouldn't give a 17 year old virgin a complete ho telling him how lonely she was whilst having an unmentioned out of town boyfriend to be sprung on me just before prom night and after a long moral dilemma about if it was right to be attracted to a total ho bag. Nope, God never gave me some great woman that matched my needs and I can't believe that there was ever any plan to this given the lost time, faith, and hurt that resulted from years of this. If anything I'm pretty sure God is just laughing at me on the issue of women.

Further, if God had been testing me when I joined christian groups or went to churches the girls I found wouldn't have been the exact same disaster cases. He would have said "hey persecuted, for being patient and trying to find something of moral good, here you go, you have been rewarded for your vigilance."

 

[kayem77]

I don't believe that God cares in the least about my love life. And I think he is passive about nearly everything and coud care less about a wretch like me in a world with 7 billion or so inhabitants. Can't say I believe in the power of prayer anymore either. Done enough of those unanswered things. No, chasing chicks is entirely your own responsibility. In those brief instances where you thought God assisted you you realize you were wrong because the girl turns out to have some major sexual history or problems of some sort and realize it was as likely that God was testing your faith to see if you'd take someone impure by his standards. Once in my life was I dumb enough to think God had given me a girl but it took me years of pain to figure out he wouldn't give a 17 year old virgin a complete ho telling him how lonely she was whilst having an unmentioned out of town boyfriend to be sprung on me just before prom night and after a long moral dilemma about if it was right to be attracted to a total ho bag. Nope, God never gave me some great woman that matched my needs and I can't believe that there was ever any plan to this given the lost time, faith, and hurt that resulted from years of this. If anything I'm pretty sure God is just laughing at me on the issue of women.

Further, if God had been testing me when I joined christian groups or went to churches the girls I found wouldn't have been the exact same disaster cases. He would have said "hey persecuted, for being patient and trying to find something of moral good, here you go, you have been rewarded for your vigilance."

Persecuted I'm sensing you are very discouraged for some reason. All I can say to you is that God does care about you. But we must give from our part too. Sometimes, we are not even "rewarded" in a wordly way. Just look at how the apostles lived, and how some missionaries die in countries where christianity is illegal and a cause of death. But I assure you they had their reward with God.
I really hope you can grow your faith. Looking for vain things is just going to give you a temporary pleasure.

 

[ChristianIFB]

I think there is to much focus on finding a woman and not enough focus on a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. We always teach the youth kids at Church that they do not need boyfriends and girlfriends that they need to put there focus solely on there relationship with Christ and wait for the Lord to work in there hearts and minds so they are prepared when the time comes to find who God has for them.

 

[Renewedheart]

Iv'e learnt to Focus on Jesus 1st, but I would love a righteous Wife

 

[persecuted]

I think there is to much focus on finding a woman and not enough focus on a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. We always teach the youth kids at Church that they do not need boyfriends and girlfriends that they need to put there focus solely on there relationship with Christ and wait for the Lord to work in there hearts and minds so they are prepared when the time comes to find who God has for them.

My advice to these youth would be "RUN!!! Stay away from this Church before you end up old and bitter!" Finding a partner isn't part of God's plan. Its something you have to do on your own. Also, its best to put the effort in when you're young and can get yourself that better partner.

Now that I am over the hill and washed up, I realize how pointless many of the messages of "good living" and "God's plan" are about life. You see, since the whole circle of life springs forth from relationships, people had better be getting married and having children or the whole Christian (or any other) lifestyle/culture will die out.

Sorry, to inform you this, but if you ever get married, your partner and family will be #1 in your life. They will trump your relationship with God and Jesus. God himself must have realized this would be the case when he cursed man and created women.

Problem is, churches have become hokey. They want their members to waste all of their energies on anarchal situations in desolate Christ rejecting nations while insisting that somehow there must be this massive rule of order back in the home countries which constitute "God's plan". When you come right down to it, its all a bunch of nonsense. I sincerely doubt its "God's plan" for me to help all of the illegitimate children of the world while I put my own life on the back burner.

 

[ChristianIFB]

My advice to these youth would be "RUN!!! Stay away from this Church before you end up old and bitter!" Finding a partner isn't part of God's plan. Its something you have to do on your own. Also, its best to put the effort in when you're young and can get yourself that better partner.

Now that I am over the hill and washed up, I realize how pointless many of the messages of "good living" and "God's plan" are about life. You see, since the whole circle of life springs forth from relationships, people had better be getting married and having children or the whole Christian (or any other) lifestyle/culture will die out.

Sorry, to inform you this, but if you ever get married, your partner and family will be #1 in your life. They will trump your relationship with God and Jesus. God himself must have realized this would be the case when he cursed man and created women.

Problem is, churches have become hokey. They want their members to waste all of their energies on anarchal situations in desolate Christ rejecting nations while insisting that somehow there must be this massive rule of order back in the home countries which constitute "God's plan". When you come right down to it, its all a bunch of nonsense. I sincerely doubt its "God's plan" for me to help all of the illegitimate children of the world while I put my own life on the back burner.

In my life the order of things that are important to me and I believe the Bible teaches this is God, Wife, Kids, Ministry. From reading your response I think you are missing the fact that when you accept Christ as personal Saviour that you are giving yourself a living sacrifice to him. Your life is not your own. You have been bought with a price and you need to at that time Die to Self daily as Paul taught. You have to say, Your will is my will Lord and although I do not always understand I want to put my trust in you..... If you get married and your partner and family become #1 in your life and end up trumping your relationship with God then I would assume that God was never #1 in both husband and wife's life... God did not curse man by creating woman, the woman was created as a help meet to man and the marriage life as created by God is a beautiful picture of our relationship with Christ the bridegroom and us the Church or the bride.

 

[ChristianIFB]

Im new to this website and I am trying to figure out how I know if someone responds to what I have posted. I just started posting and so far I have only been able to manually go back and see if there is any responses or new threads where I have posted. Surely there has to be some sort of notification and tracking of messages.

 

[persecuted]

In my life the order of things that are important to me and I believe the Bible teaches this is God, Wife, Kids, Ministry. From reading your response I think you are missing the fact that when you accept Christ as personal Saviour that you are giving yourself a living sacrifice to him. Your life is not your own. You have been bought with a price and you need to at that time Die to Self daily as Paul taught. You have to say, Your will is my will Lord and although I do not always understand I want to put my trust in you..... If you get married and your partner and family become #1 in your life and end up trumping your relationship with God then I would assume that God was never #1 in both husband and wife's life... God did not curse man by creating woman, the woman was created as a help meet to man and the marriage life as created by God is a beautiful picture of our relationship with Christ the bridegroom and us the Church or the bride.

Well here are my two responses to this.

1. You have given me the bible school answer which has to be assumed to be "correct" by definition, but my point is that your wife and kids will in fact take up more of your time than God will and also likely need more of your love and support than God ever will. Now of course, you can say that your entire family set up is to pay homage to God by following his societal structure and his desire for us to go forth and mulitply. Problem is then that your entrance to this thread is contradictory because many on this section of christianchat are distressed by the very fact that they feel it a Christian thing to have a family and yet things aren't working out for them.

2. I realize I am jaded but I no longer get this concept of giving your will up to the Lord. The reason I say this is I don't see what any of these grand missions for God are. Last church I put up with seemed to think Haiti was the ultimate cause we were all supposed to sacrifice our lives for. To me, and what has happened in the past year (NOTHING!!!) I think Haiti is THE most useless stupid cause possible in the entire world. I think playing video games for ten hours straight or buying women drinks in bars hoping for sexual favours are both more credible "causes." I also realize if God was so concerned about Haiti, he could snap his fingers and it would be fixed instead it seems the opposite.... even with billions of dollars collected and millions of people trying to help, its like some big veil hangs over the place so nothing does change.

But back to my point.... you make it sound like by chasing skirts I'm fundamentally ignoring God and these unbeknownst "higher" more "moral" projects.... and I say its nonsense for me to be commiting my life to a bunch of sexual sinners much worse than me off on some dumb little island somewhere in central america. Of course maybe there is some higher project but neither the church or God seem to have revealed it to me.

 

[kayem77]

Im new to this website and I am trying to figure out how I know if someone responds to what I have posted. I just started posting and so far I have only been able to manually go back and see if there is any responses or new threads where I have posted. Surely there has to be some sort of notification and tracking of messages.

Go to the Control Panel tab ,up in your screen. If somebody answered you, it will show there.

 

[Liz01]

Okay, so I'm over my joy-eating zombie thing from yesterday. We've recognized the problem: All men and women are horrible. So, why do we want to DATE them?

Let's move on from the problem to the solution. Where are we meeting the wrong people? Why do we keep doing it wrong? Are there better places to find the sort of person we're looking for?

I was looking time ago on supermarkets, gym, work and malls but i always knew non-christian guys but i think i cant have a husband still dont know Jesus, because i have seen marriages like that and its very hard for them.
But for now im not looking, i decided to focus completely on God and enjoy what i have and only have friends, but when ppl say that they ask God and He doesnt answer or give their wives/husbands then i remember what someone told me once and its that if you ask God something then think the reason for what you want that, because if you ask God for something only for your benefit maybe wont give it to you but if you ask Him something because you want to show others or have a benefit that show His glory maybe He will be glad to give it to you, but well, i dont really know why God gives sometimes and dont give other times.