What age range was 1 Corinthians 7:9 intended for?
- Thread starter JohnB
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I think there is always going to be stigma, at least coming from women, if there is a wide age gap. Usually men who target young women show their distaste for middle age or older women, so the negative reactive from women is expected. Also in many cases these women do not understand why a younger woman would want to marry a much older man, so some negative assumptions are made there as well against younger women.
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I can understand. If I had remained single until now, I would want a woman who'd started to wrinkle and sag like me. She'd have to be young and pretty enough for the both of us. I ended up with a woman whose kept a thin fairly youthful look into her 40s...enough beauty on her end for both of us.
If a man hits 40 and wants kids, if he marries a woman his age, the chances are lower, especially if he wants more than one. So he probably needs to marry a younger woman if h we wants kids.
If a man hits 40 and wants kids, if he marries a woman his age, the chances are lower, especially if he wants more than one. So he probably needs to marry a younger woman if h we wants kids.
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Did you just exchange disclosures on your first date, go home and read them, meet to plan the wedding, and get married within the much? Was there a bit of courtship to get to know each other at all?
I'd gotten a word from someone that I wasn't supposed to date until met my wife, and I was following that. It was difficult, because how to do you date without knowing the person well yet. I didn't tell my wife that when I met her. I told her 'Let's just be friends.' But that quickly turned into taking my 'friend' out for dinner every night, going to church together, and all kinds of other activities. At some point early on, I believed the Lord was speaking to me in my prayers that she was to be my wife, and I even got some rather detailed information about her that she told me about on our next phone call, which was a confirmation to me that I was hearing right. She told me fairly early on that she didn't want to date until she'd met her future husband, also. So it was 'just friends' for a while, till I felt almost like I was lying by introducing her as a friend, since she was my de facto girlfriend. if I'd realized that people in her country, where we were, would say they were 'friends' then hang around together and eventually announce an engagement, I might not have been concerned with the girlfriend thing.
We figured out after our first conversation that we'd met about a year before. But from that first conversation to the time I proposed was about 5 months minus 5 days. Then maybe a month later month, I went to discuss marriage with her with her parents (which required a long journey) and we married about 10 months after our first conversation.
How long did it take you to propose and marry with the 'disclosure statements' approach?
Btw, I think it does make sense for those looking to marry to be somewhat up front about it. You might want to see how the other party reacts leading up to that in the conversation. But within a few dates, communicating that you are looking for a marriage partner, not just someone to hang out with, and if she realizes you aren't that, to let her know early, and you'll let her know if you don't think you are a good match and try not to lead her on. It could save time, and even money, doing it that way. It's good to meet her dad and ask if he doesn't mine your getting to know her, too. It's sort of old-fashioned, but it shows respect and may make a potential engagement easier later.
There are probably a lot of women who would appreciate this approach, especially after they hit 30. A young woman who wants to marry may not take it that seriously if she feels like she has all the time in the world (a typical deception of youth for both ages.) But if a man lays it out like that, then she may either start thinking seriously about marriage if she is interested in the man, or else if she isn't serious, then she can go off and play elsewhere.
I'd gotten a word from someone that I wasn't supposed to date until met my wife, and I was following that. It was difficult, because how to do you date without knowing the person well yet. I didn't tell my wife that when I met her. I told her 'Let's just be friends.' But that quickly turned into taking my 'friend' out for dinner every night, going to church together, and all kinds of other activities. At some point early on, I believed the Lord was speaking to me in my prayers that she was to be my wife, and I even got some rather detailed information about her that she told me about on our next phone call, which was a confirmation to me that I was hearing right. She told me fairly early on that she didn't want to date until she'd met her future husband, also. So it was 'just friends' for a while, till I felt almost like I was lying by introducing her as a friend, since she was my de facto girlfriend. if I'd realized that people in her country, where we were, would say they were 'friends' then hang around together and eventually announce an engagement, I might not have been concerned with the girlfriend thing.
We figured out after our first conversation that we'd met about a year before. But from that first conversation to the time I proposed was about 5 months minus 5 days. Then maybe a month later month, I went to discuss marriage with her with her parents (which required a long journey) and we married about 10 months after our first conversation.
How long did it take you to propose and marry with the 'disclosure statements' approach?
Btw, I think it does make sense for those looking to marry to be somewhat up front about it. You might want to see how the other party reacts leading up to that in the conversation. But within a few dates, communicating that you are looking for a marriage partner, not just someone to hang out with, and if she realizes you aren't that, to let her know early, and you'll let her know if you don't think you are a good match and try not to lead her on. It could save time, and even money, doing it that way. It's good to meet her dad and ask if he doesn't mine your getting to know her, too. It's sort of old-fashioned, but it shows respect and may make a potential engagement easier later.
There are probably a lot of women who would appreciate this approach, especially after they hit 30. A young woman who wants to marry may not take it that seriously if she feels like she has all the time in the world (a typical deception of youth for both ages.) But if a man lays it out like that, then she may either start thinking seriously about marriage if she is interested in the man, or else if she isn't serious, then she can go off and play elsewhere.
Well, JohnB, are you getting any single women PMing you, and saying, "Here John, marry me! Marry me! or anything a little less subtle"?
Do you like Asian women? Would you be willing to have someone set you up on a 'meeting'-- a blind date? Koreans do that. You can ask pastors or higher a matchmaker. Japanese pastors might set people up, too. I hear managers do that there.
My wife is from Indonesia, and if you made a good friend in her people-group, at least, you could ask if he had any godly cousins who were single, or friends. That works better in Indonesia than with expats abroad, though, and you'd need to know the lingua franca or a local language unless they happened to have an English-speaking relative. Also, if you had a Filipino coworker, you might ask if he had a cousin, if you are in a very multi-ethnic area that has a community. Lots of collectivist.... not individualistic societies like Anglo societies and western European (especially Germanic type societies) may be more likely to set people up.
Maybe you could take a trip to Poland and do some work with Ukrainian refugees at a church there. They will probably be experiencing an imbalance of male and female population, and there could be a lot of widows already. They may need some time to grieve. But Ukraine's divorce rate is often worse than the US's.
On the other hand, I had a friend who went to a Chinese church, and he said they were very weird about dating within the congregation, so it may depend on the church and the culture of that people-group.
Do you like Asian women? Would you be willing to have someone set you up on a 'meeting'-- a blind date? Koreans do that. You can ask pastors or higher a matchmaker. Japanese pastors might set people up, too. I hear managers do that there.
My wife is from Indonesia, and if you made a good friend in her people-group, at least, you could ask if he had any godly cousins who were single, or friends. That works better in Indonesia than with expats abroad, though, and you'd need to know the lingua franca or a local language unless they happened to have an English-speaking relative. Also, if you had a Filipino coworker, you might ask if he had a cousin, if you are in a very multi-ethnic area that has a community. Lots of collectivist.... not individualistic societies like Anglo societies and western European (especially Germanic type societies) may be more likely to set people up.
Maybe you could take a trip to Poland and do some work with Ukrainian refugees at a church there. They will probably be experiencing an imbalance of male and female population, and there could be a lot of widows already. They may need some time to grieve. But Ukraine's divorce rate is often worse than the US's.
On the other hand, I had a friend who went to a Chinese church, and he said they were very weird about dating within the congregation, so it may depend on the church and the culture of that people-group.
You probably haven't even watched the videos and don't have a clue what you're talking about. So crawl back under whatever rock you crawled out of and go back to sleep.
But as it is ever your pleasure to accuse the Brethren, I'm not at all surprised you salivate at the prospect of tearing them down.
The term "certain men crept in"... always comes to mind with the likes of You.
And the ONLY rock I crawl ON, is that of Jesus Christ.
Oh look, I put an emoji at the end of my post! I guess that means we're all good!
I don't need to watch the videos. I WENT to that Church. Solid, God loving brothers and sisters in Christ.
But as it is ever your pleasure to accuse the Brethren, I'm not at all surprised you salivate at the prospect of tearing them down.
The term "certain men crept in"... always comes to mind with the likes of You.
And the ONLY rock I crawl ON, is that of Jesus Christ.
Oh look, I put an emoji at the end of my post! I guess that means we're all good!
But as it is ever your pleasure to accuse the Brethren, I'm not at all surprised you salivate at the prospect of tearing them down.
The term "certain men crept in"... always comes to mind with the likes of You.
And the ONLY rock I crawl ON, is that of Jesus Christ.
Oh look, I put an emoji at the end of my post! I guess that means we're all good!