Which church is the best fit for someone?

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Mar 4, 2020
8,614
3,691
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#1
I’m curious which church would be a good fit for me. Recently I’ve been looking for a church again.

Anyone else just feel like they found a church with a nice group and settled there? Or do you find you’re silently disagreeing with many things they say every day? If you find there is a serious disagreement, do you ignore it or privately confront them in a gentle and humble way?

Any churches that focus primarily on stirring each other up to love and good works and less on doctrine? This is my ideal.

I can’t see a church that fits 100% of what I see in the New Testament. That’s concerning, but it would be nice to find the best possible fit for me.

I took an online quiz and, based off of the questions, it placed me as 89% Pentecostal, but I’m not so confident about that either. There should be way more questions.
 

oyster67

Senior Member
May 24, 2014
11,887
8,705
113
#3
I’m curious which church would be a good fit for me. Recently I’ve been looking for a church again.

Anyone else just feel like they found a church with a nice group and settled there? Or do you find you’re silently disagreeing with many things they say every day? If you find there is a serious disagreement, do you ignore it or privately confront them in a gentle and humble way?

Any churches that focus primarily on stirring each other up to love and good works and less on doctrine? This is my ideal.

I can’t see a church that fits 100% of what I see in the New Testament. That’s concerning, but it would be nice to find the best possible fit for me.

I took an online quiz and, based off of the questions, it placed me as 89% Pentecostal, but I’m not so confident about that either. There should be way more questions.
Pray about it. Sometimes the Lord's idea of a perfect place for us is not the same as what our idea is.
 

ResidentAlien

Well-known member
Apr 21, 2021
8,319
3,619
113
#4
I’m curious which church would be a good fit for me. Recently I’ve been looking for a church again.

Anyone else just feel like they found a church with a nice group and settled there? Or do you find you’re silently disagreeing with many things they say every day? If you find there is a serious disagreement, do you ignore it or privately confront them in a gentle and humble way?

Any churches that focus primarily on stirring each other up to love and good works and less on doctrine? This is my ideal.

I can’t see a church that fits 100% of what I see in the New Testament. That’s concerning, but it would be nice to find the best possible fit for me.

I took an online quiz and, based off of the questions, it placed me as 89% Pentecostal, but I’m not so confident about that either. There should be way more questions.
If you find a place you like, but have concerns, talk to one or more of the overseers. Not a confrontation, but just explain your concerns and ask their advice. Maybe they will share something that will help you understand God's word better; or maybe not. If you're not satisfied with their answers, quietly and politely leave that group.
 

Cameron143

Well-known member
Mar 1, 2022
19,319
6,647
113
62
#5
I’m curious which church would be a good fit for me. Recently I’ve been looking for a church again.

Anyone else just feel like they found a church with a nice group and settled there? Or do you find you’re silently disagreeing with many things they say every day? If you find there is a serious disagreement, do you ignore it or privately confront them in a gentle and humble way?

Any churches that focus primarily on stirring each other up to love and good works and less on doctrine? This is my ideal.

I can’t see a church that fits 100% of what I see in the New Testament. That’s concerning, but it would be nice to find the best possible fit for me.

I took an online quiz and, based off of the questions, it placed me as 89% Pentecostal, but I’m not so confident about that either. There should be way more questions.
I think it's great that you are looking to join a local body of believers. And I agree with Oyster67 that the first thing to do is pray.
And you seem to have a realistic view of churches and what you are looking for.
I would also say that doctrine should be an important consideration in your choice. I'm not trying to downplay the experiential aspects of worship but point out that it should be grounded in truth. Excesses in the church often come from innatention to truth.
The focus of the the great commission isn't actually evangelism but discipleship...teaching them all things.
Hope you find this helpful.
 
Mar 4, 2020
8,614
3,691
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#6
Pray about it. Sometimes the Lord's idea of a perfect place for us is not the same as what our idea is.
That’s true. I had kinda forgotten that. The last church I went to, let’s call it a place, was kind of a joke. The preacher was sure to mention giving money in every one of his motivational speeches. I got more out of helping them fix a few small computer issues in the church.
 
Mar 4, 2020
8,614
3,691
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#7
If you find a place you like, but have concerns, talk to one or more of the overseers. Not a confrontation, but just explain your concerns and ask their advice. Maybe they will share something that will help you understand God's word better; or maybe not. If you're not satisfied with their answers, quietly and politely leave that group.
Sounds like pretty solid advice. I already have a good idea of what I think a church should be like versus what they are really like. Maybe I shouldn’t have many expectations.
 

JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
6,235
2,530
113
#8
The church that leads you on the path to salvation through sanctification.

Sermons and all are nice...but the only reason why you listened to them was because of your relationships with others.
Bad company corrupts good morals but good company encourages good ones.

So what you ultimately need is a church group that gets together on a more intimate basis than a sterile small group Bible study. One that encourages relationships and friendship. One that is open and inviting to strangers...because you will be one.
 
Mar 4, 2020
8,614
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#9
I think it's great that you are looking to join a local body of believers. And I agree with Oyster67 that the first thing to do is pray.
And you seem to have a realistic view of churches and what you are looking for.
I would also say that doctrine should be an important consideration in your choice. I'm not trying to downplay the experiential aspects of worship but point out that it should be grounded in truth. Excesses in the church often come from innatention to truth.
The focus of the the great commission isn't actually evangelism but discipleship...teaching them all things.
Hope you find this helpful.
I’m looking less at the doctrine aspect and more at the experience because I’m worried there won’t be many churches I can fully agree with. It seems like, as I talk to people here, I almost always have a different perspective.

My neighbor comes by sometimes and he talks about the Bible and I love that, but sometimes I’m thinking “how did you come to that conclusion?” And normally I don’t get many words in to offer a different view based on what I’ve read. Even though that’s the case, I don’t consider someone any less of a brother or sister if they’re a believer too. I have come to see differences are normal, from my perspective.

However, if I am going to spend a lot of time somewhere I’d rather it be either a near perfect match or the doctrine part ignored and focus on stirring each other up to love and good works or just praying and praising God.
 

soberxp

Senior Member
May 3, 2018
2,511
482
83
#10
Any churches that focus primarily on stirring each other up to love and good works and less on doctrine? This is my ideal.
I know such a church group, but in China, it is too far away for you.
 
Mar 4, 2020
8,614
3,691
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#11
I know such a church group, but in China, it is too far away for you.
It’s not too far away if I have a good reason to go there, but I doubt I will. Sounds like a nice place though. I don’t even care if they don’t speak English at the service.
 

markss

Active member
Feb 10, 2020
112
53
28
#12
I’m curious which church would be a good fit for me. Recently I’ve been looking for a church again.

Anyone else just feel like they found a church with a nice group and settled there? Or do you find you’re silently disagreeing with many things they say every day? If you find there is a serious disagreement, do you ignore it or privately confront them in a gentle and humble way?

Any churches that focus primarily on stirring each other up to love and good works and less on doctrine? This is my ideal.

I can’t see a church that fits 100% of what I see in the New Testament. That’s concerning, but it would be nice to find the best possible fit for me.

I took an online quiz and, based off of the questions, it placed me as 89% Pentecostal, but I’m not so confident about that either. There should be way more questions.
Hi Runningman,

My wife and I were in a wonderful church pastored by the most loving man I've ever known, his wife the same, and the church was therefore mostly the same. Occassionally he, or one of the others teaching, would say things I disagreed with, but the first thing is love, and this church had love! For the most part, I was like peas in a pod with them.

Covid shutdowns hit, then the pastor decided to retire, the church lost it's lease, the pastor then had a stroke and died. Our pastor dead, the church razed, the congregation scattered, my wife and I found ourselves unchurched for a couple of years.

We knew, having visited a number of churches over the years, that ours had been a very rare church, in the love that flowed through it. We knew that we could end up visiting any number of churches without finding what we were looking for.

One day, my wife asked me, what about checking out this little church we went to like 25 years ago? It sounded right to me. We went. We have been amazed at the loving congregation we've found there, and the wonderful teaching. I haven't gotten to know the pastor much yet, but he and his family all seem like the greatest people!

From rags to riches!

Seek the Lord, let Him guide you. He knows what is right for you.

Much love!
 

Pilgrimshope

Well-known member
Sep 2, 2020
14,177
5,727
113
#13
I’m curious which church would be a good fit for me. Recently I’ve been looking for a church again.

Anyone else just feel like they found a church with a nice group and settled there? Or do you find you’re silently disagreeing with many things they say every day? If you find there is a serious disagreement, do you ignore it or privately confront them in a gentle and humble way?

Any churches that focus primarily on stirring each other up to love and good works and less on doctrine? This is my ideal.

I can’t see a church that fits 100% of what I see in the New Testament. That’s concerning, but it would be nice to find the best possible fit for me.

I took an online quiz and, based off of the questions, it placed me as 89% Pentecostal, but I’m not so confident about that either. There should be way more questions.
I would say and what I myself have done is pray and then try a few different churches

mostly I’ve found it’s the people who are there that matters and the best way to consider if it’s right for you is how they interact with you who have been members of the church for awhile

also I’ve always tried to take note of what the Pastor and elders speak about not only from the pulpit but when you talk to them

I’ve tried many churches over the decades because I moved around a lot , even at times I went months without attending a church at all I’ve found that churches are as diverse as people are

what they teach , how they treat other people how they speak about people , do they say a lot about helping the poor ? Doing what is right in Gods sight ? Do they talk about the importance of the things Jesus said we’re important ? What do they say about money , morals , earthly life , eternal Life ect all is important but mostly do they love people ? Do they embrace people when they show up ? Are they like a family ? Do they help mine another out when there’s trouble and a need ? Do they hold grudges and gossip ? Or do they forgive and embrace not judging and condemning instead embracing the sinner and building them up , encouraging them in the right things ?

how they treat people and also you when you attend is really
Important also if they have a good
Message are they walking the walk ? And are the attendees at all in any measure fruitful in the spirit ?

we can look at the people to see the result of the message they are hearing I always like to find someone who’s stranded for a long time and sort of observe how they interact with myself and others to see if this type of fruit is evident or if the flesh is prevalent among the flock

“Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.”
‭‭Galatians‬ ‭5:19-25‬ ‭KJV‬‬

we want to find places that press us toward the spiritual fruits and teach us to stop doing the works of the flesh with longsuffering patience and giving time for Gods word to change people if they have attended for years and resemble and exhibit the flesh works that defile the inheritance it might not be an edifying place if all they do is talk about how grace saved us all but never talk about our good deeds and bad deeds and itch we need to stop doing and which we need to embrace and start doing we definetely want an edifying place where we’re learning more than we already knew from our own study it should make us grow and edify and challenge us to do better while also assuring us of salvstion

We arent sinless but we do have a law and doctrine to follow after it’s oir responsibility to follow the spirit to life and not the flesh to death

“Therefore, brethren, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live after the flesh. For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die:

but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:12-13‬ ‭KJV‬‬
 

markss

Active member
Feb 10, 2020
112
53
28
#14
If you find a place you like, but have concerns, talk to one or more of the overseers. Not a confrontation, but just explain your concerns and ask their advice. Maybe they will share something that will help you understand God's word better; or maybe not. If you're not satisfied with their answers, quietly and politely leave that group.
I don't think we should expect to be 100% same page with everyone in a group that's new to us. Or with a person's teaching, and I think it's a great idea to keep in mind, "Maybe it's me that's wrong about this!"

And while I've benefitted greatly from good teaching, I've maybe benefitted more, I don't know, from having people around me of good Godly character to emulate. My last pastor was the most loving man I've ever known, and I still have him so much in mind as a model of how to live. We need that, even if we don't agree with everything.

Much love!
 
L

Locoponydirtman

Guest
#15
I find that the teaching if doctrine does stir one up to good works.
I hope.the best for you. Im glad i will never have to shop church again.
 

DJT_47

Well-known member
Oct 20, 2022
1,064
189
63
#16
All churches aren't the same and it's not or shouldn't be how it matches you. Truth is what's important. Many, many, don't know how to save souls most of which have the highest number of members unfortunately.
 
Mar 4, 2020
8,614
3,691
113
#17
Hi Runningman,

My wife and I were in a wonderful church pastored by the most loving man I've ever known, his wife the same, and the church was therefore mostly the same. Occassionally he, or one of the others teaching, would say things I disagreed with, but the first thing is love, and this church had love! For the most part, I was like peas in a pod with them.

Covid shutdowns hit, then the pastor decided to retire, the church lost it's lease, the pastor then had a stroke and died. Our pastor dead, the church razed, the congregation scattered, my wife and I found ourselves unchurched for a couple of years.

We knew, having visited a number of churches over the years, that ours had been a very rare church, in the love that flowed through it. We knew that we could end up visiting any number of churches without finding what we were looking for.

One day, my wife asked me, what about checking out this little church we went to like 25 years ago? It sounded right to me. We went. We have been amazed at the loving congregation we've found there, and the wonderful teaching. I haven't gotten to know the pastor much yet, but he and his family all seem like the greatest people!

From rags to riches!

Seek the Lord, let Him guide you. He knows what is right for you.

Much love!
This sounds ideal to me. I think that’s really the whole point of church anyway. You and your wife seemed to have found that golden nugget of a church twice.
 
Mar 4, 2020
8,614
3,691
113
#18
I find that the teaching if doctrine does stir one up to good works.
I hope.the best for you. Im glad i will never have to shop church again.
Depends what they’re saying in my opinion. Not everyone who opens a Bible and expounds on the message hits the mark. Aren’t there many churches that are teaching unbiblical things? I want to avoid those.
 

markss

Active member
Feb 10, 2020
112
53
28
#19
This sounds ideal to me. I think that’s really the whole point of church anyway. You and your wife seemed to have found that golden nugget of a church twice.
The first one . . . we were in a larger church, and wanted a smaller church where we could be more personally involved. We were in a home fellowship, with some from our church, and several from this other church, a bunch of very nice people!

So I suggested a church, and my wife said, "what about that church where those nice people go?" We went where I said. We didn't like it. That repeated 4 or 5 times, each time me picking a church, and each time her suggesting the church where those nice people go, and each time, we didn't like it.

So finally I agree, lets try that church. And literally, less then 5 minutes inside the front door, we hadn't met anyone, we both knew it was our new home.

Are you married? If you are . . . well, I've learned to listen to my wife!

Much love!
 
Mar 4, 2020
8,614
3,691
113
#20
I find that the teaching if doctrine does stir one up to good works.
I hope.the best for you. Im glad i will never have to shop church again.
That’s great I am glad it’s working out good for you. I hope you you never have to church shop again.