Does God really have a girl for me?

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dothackzero

dothackzero

Banned
#1
May 4, 2009
1,534
6
0
#1
I'm 23, never had a girlfriend or even kissed a girl. I've had social anxiety for most of my life, and I'm just coming out of it. The problem is that I still no social skills, or really even know what to say to other people. It's hard for me to make friends, and even harder to have close friends. It also really doesn't help that it feels like God is seperating from pretty much all girls right now. So basically, I'm just worried that I'm gonna be alone all my life. Or maybe I'm just a person that that God wants me to be single...
 
M

Maddog

Guest
#2
#2
A serious question to your serious question: How are we supposed to know?
 
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Liz01

Guest
#3
#3
I think all the single christian ppl here have the same question.......
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#4
#4
I don't believe God 'has' people set apart for other people. I view it more as God knows which people you will do well with and which won't. There's nothing biblical about the idea God has anyone specific for another. Paul expressed his opinion as marriage should be avoided all together, if possible. I think if he had reason to believe people were set apart for each other then Pauls attitude would have been different.
Far as the people skills, i can relate. But i've learned you just have to step out and try. If you get comfortable with someone let them know you have the problem and that you are working at improving. Its work, but it can change.
 
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Aqua_Girl09

Guest
#5
#5
lol first off. i think its an awesome thing that you've never kissed another girl before. and if i could take back my first kiss then i would in a heart beat. ^_^

as for who you'll meet. God always has things planned. you're either supposed to be with someone or you're not. how do we know? IDK. lol.

and the socially awkward thing? well the number one thing is to not be scared of making a fool of yourself. its BOUND to happen and if you do it yourself that its more of an encouragement then something that makes you wanna crawl deeper into your shell. when i was younger i got picked on for YEARS then one day i decided that i didn't care what ppl said about what i did cause they can't hurt me any more then they already were. and what happened? BOOM i became popular. (freaky right) lol. if you're scared of what ppl around you will say and don't wanna change your world yet then go off somewhere. like maybe working an over night summer camp and completely change your personality with these new ppl who don't know you.

but as for finding the right girl. just talk to some. all she can say is no then you're right back where you started.
 
Ritter

Ritter

Banned
#6
Jul 25, 2005
2,417
34
0
#6
If you can't live without her, she's out there.
 
K

Kooper

Guest
#7
#7
dothackzero said:
I'm 23, never had a girlfriend or even kissed a girl. I've had social anxiety for most of my life, and I'm just coming out of it. The problem is that I still no social skills, or really even know what to say to other people. It's hard for me to make friends, and even harder to have close friends. It also really doesn't help that it feels like God is seperating from pretty much all girls right now. So basically, I'm just worried that I'm gonna be alone all my life. Or maybe I'm just a person that that God wants me to be single...
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Good. At least you can say that you will be faithful to the girl or a girl that will come your way. Also good. Learn to come out of that fear with the power that God has given you. Nothing is impossible with God. Go out and explore a little bit. But make sure you're walking in the spirit while you're at it. It's okay to be truthful, and awkward. At least to those you come in contact with will see the real you. Real friends will stick with you. You just have to make them, even if it means going through some mud to find the shiney rock. And if God is separating you from them, then there might be a reason for His timing on you. You know what? He could be building you up for a reason. You just need to bend to His will just so whatever God has in store for you, will work out in the end. And you can't be alone all your life. God is there. No need to fret if you have the creater as friend. Besides, you just never what will happen if you just try to live the way God wants you too. There is a whole worth-while possibilites to see out in life. Just go with the Spirit. God will handle the rest. From time to time again, even I am surprised with what God has taught me in life.

Let your light shine. :)
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#8
Aug 2, 2009
24,653
4,316
113
#8
God has a girl for you, but you have to get out there and find her!
 
1

1still_waters

Guest
#9
#9
Dude I've seen some of the scum bags women will choose. If women will go for some abusive, jobless, drunk, drug addict, I'm sure some will be just fine with a guy who has anxiety issues. Just hang in there dude. A guy with anxiety issues is nothing compared to the other issues the scum bag guys have.
 
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Suzie2family

Guest
#10
#10
"There is no fear in Love, for perfect Love casts out fear." This is the scripture that has been most helpful to me in trying to just be myself. Try to think of all the fun reasons some person (maybe even one of your best guy buddies or chums) would want to hang around with you. It's no different with a girl. Are you funny? Are you goofy? Are you smart? Are you clever with puzzles or games or problem solving? What are your hobbies? Have you ever done anything fun with friends that got you to laughing and enjoying yourself? Think about those moments and try to examine the person that you are when you are having the most fun. Then, take THAT guy (he's the authentic YOU) and try to remember him when you're feeling anxious.

If a girl is going to fall in love with you, don't you really want her to know THAT guy?

God will be with you if you just pray for Him to be your focus. Let his spirit fill you with Love--no fear--no anxiety, no worries about if you will be acceptable or not. God can help you to "forget yourself" in the moment and just be who you are when you're having a great time. If a girl doesn't like the real, fun, smart, goofy, clever guy you are then she isn't the one for you. Just be yourself and the right girl will fall for you!
 
K

kararg

Guest
#11
#11
Hello! You must wait on God, don't worry. Whatever He wants for your life (married or unmarried), that will be the better. Isaiah 55:9 "As the heavens are Higher Than the earth, so are my Ways Higher Than Your Ways Than my thoughts and your thoughts". (Sorry for my English) God bless ya
 
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persecuted

Banned
#12
Jun 15, 2011
308
0
0
#12
I'm kinda wondering if you took my advice from a month ago or so and actually tried talking to some chick? I'm still not getting all of your concern about what women think. You should sit somewhere listening to chicks talk to each other. No matter how hot they might be it tends to be so moronic and painful... like I'm just saying I don't know where you're getting it from this notion of all of these "too perfect for you" chicks. You gotta remember that when you talk to chicks you're gonna have to talk down to them, not up to them. Just keep it slow and simple else they'll get all confused.
 
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princessbella

Guest
#13
#13
persecuted said:
I'm kinda wondering if you took my advice from a month ago or so and actually tried talking to some chick? I'm still not getting all of your concern about what women think. You should sit somewhere listening to chicks talk to each other. No matter how hot they might be it tends to be so moronic and painful... like I'm just saying I don't know where you're getting it from this notion of all of these "too perfect for you" chicks. You gotta remember that when you talk to chicks you're gonna have to talk down to them, not up to them. Just keep it slow and simple else they'll get all confused.
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and it dont take much to get us confused so it needs to be very very slow and spelt out in words of one sylable :confused:
 
D

dmdave17

Guest
#14
#14
kararg said:
Hello! You must wait on God, don't worry. Whatever He wants for your life (married or unmarried), that will be the better. Isaiah 55:9 "As the heavens are Higher Than the earth, so are my Ways Higher Than Your Ways Than my thoughts and your thoughts". (Sorry for my English) God bless ya
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Good advice. To put it another way, "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Matthew 6:33-34)

None of us knows what God has in store for us, but what we do know is that it is His best.

(I know, I'm not single, but I certainly asked myself that same question plenty of times. Now I have been married to a wonderful woman for over 30 years. If you do the math, you'll see I waited a pretty long time before "getting lucky".) ;)
 
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Suzie2family

Guest
#15
#15
persecuted said:
I'm kinda wondering if you took my advice from a month ago or so and actually tried talking to some chick? I'm still not getting all of your concern about what women think. You should sit somewhere listening to chicks talk to each other. No matter how hot they might be it tends to be so moronic and painful... like I'm just saying I don't know where you're getting it from this notion of all of these "too perfect for you" chicks. You gotta remember that when you talk to chicks you're gonna have to talk down to them, not up to them. Just keep it slow and simple else they'll get all confused.
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Hmm....methinks I'm beginning to see what the problem is, Persecuted--why you're still a single guy....:rolleyes:
 
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persecuted

Banned
#16
Jun 15, 2011
308
0
0
#16
princessbella said:
and it dont take much to get us confused so it needs to be very very slow and spelt out in words of one sylable :confused:
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Yes, yes... see? This is exactly what I'm talking about. Actually, I was just thinking, I think I have come up with the ULTIMATE pick up line..... "Nice shoes! Can I tie your shoelaces for you?"

This is great because there is nothing women like more than to be complimented on their fashion sense (and wow, do women ever love shoes), most haven't learnt skills like this and would really appreciate a man helping them out like this. Plus you might get a really good view out of it.

Can't wait to try it out... but I digress, the point is when talking to chicks in their late teens, twenties, thirties, or forties, you should first think of what you'd say to an 8 year old before saying it to them. If it'll work with an 8 year old it'll probably work with them.
 
T

Tobby17

Guest
#17
#17
It doesn't kill to stay single..
 
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princessbella

Guest
#18
#18
persecuted said:
Yes, yes... see? This is exactly what I'm talking about. Actually, I was just thinking, I think I have come up with the ULTIMATE pick up line..... "Nice shoes! Can I tie your shoelaces for you?"

This is great because there is nothing women like more than to be complimented on their fashion sense (and wow, do women ever love shoes), most haven't learnt skills like this and would really appreciate a man helping them out like this. Plus you might get a really good view out of it.

Can't wait to try it out... but I digress, the point is when talking to chicks in their late teens, twenties, thirties, or forties, you should first think of what you'd say to an 8 year old before saying it to them. If it'll work with an 8 year old it'll probably work with them.
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:confused: now i really didnt understand a word you were saying too much for my 8 year old brain :(
 
N

Nalu

Guest
#19
#19
dothackzero said:
I'm 23, never had a girlfriend or even kissed a girl. I've had social anxiety for most of my life, and I'm just coming out of it. The problem is that I still no social skills, or really even know what to say to other people. It's hard for me to make friends, and even harder to have close friends. It also really doesn't help that it feels like God is seperating from pretty much all girls right now. So basically, I'm just worried that I'm gonna be alone all my life. Or maybe I'm just a person that that God wants me to be single...
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There is someone for you.
 
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persecuted

Banned
#20
Jun 15, 2011
308
0
0
#20
Suzie2family said:
Hmm....methinks I'm beginning to see what the problem is, Persecuted--why you're still a single guy....:rolleyes:
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I have to admit I'm a little bit offended by this... to think that you THINK you can even see the beginning of the problem. Look, other people are single but my state of being is actually LEGENDARY in its bizarre infinite combinations of remoteness that keep me in the state that I am.... its pretty much a guarantee that when everyone else on here is changing diapers and attending PTA meetings I'll still be as single as single could ever single out. Why if I was a baseball player, even if I hit one 450 feet straight out of the park, the ump would STILL just give me a single.... and I'd be standing on first base, with out having got to first base at all because that is what this LEGENDARY state of being calls for. Which isn't to say, keeping the baseball jargon going, that I'm a "good catch" anyways. But, again, that's only part of the puzzle.
 
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