Paul's warning on marriage 1 Corinthians 7:28

[Dino246]

Just answer the question. Is it a sin for a single person to even think about sex?

No, it is not.

 

[JohnB]

His point is clear: thinking about having sex with a particular woman (who is not your wife) is sin.

Any married woman

 

[JohnB]

I’ll answer it and no that isn’t a sin. Sex is supposed to just be about creating a family.

To me, it’s utilitarian in purpose even though there is a pleasure aspect to it, that isn’t what you’re supposed to be focusing on. So thinking about sex is kinda like thinking about baking a cake in some ways. Just don’t think too much about eating said cake.

While I think married people have a bit of leeway in that gray area, if you’re not married then you have no one you should be fantasizing about.

Does that make sense?

Sex is not just about having a family. Sex is about connection and satisfying sexual desires. As Paul said, it is better to marry than to burn.

 

[Bob-Carabbio]

If a man looks upon a woman with lust in his heart he hasn't sinned?

Temptation isn't SIN

 

[Runningman]

Sex is not just about having a family. Sex is about connection and satisfying sexual desires. As Paul said, it is better to marry than to burn.

Who is actually burning with passion though? What does that even look like?

I’m unmarried (will likely be married later this year), but I get it man!

I think you probably desire it, but that’s not the same as being ruled by it.

So why don’t you go find a wife?

 

[Locoponydirtman]

Why would someone who is not married or not even potentially getting married want to torment themselves setting around thinking about sex? Except to whip themselves up to fornication, and put themselves into a situation so as to commit sin.
What good purpose is served by eye fornicating someone when marriage isnt on the table?

 

[Locoponydirtman]

Sex is not just about having a family. Sex is about connection and satisfying sexual desires. As Paul said, it is better to marry than to burn.

With in the confines of marriage.

 

[Dino246]

Any married woman

Wrong. ANY woman.

"But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." (Matt 5:28, NIV)

Notice that Jesus said, "a woman", not "your neighbour's wife". Given that He also gave the tenth commandment to Moses, I'm certain that He said exactly what He meant.

 

[posthuman]

Sex is not just about having a family. Sex is about connection and satisfying sexual desires. As Paul said, it is better to marry than to burn.

Sex is very different when you genuinely love your partner vs. when you are just gratifying your lust.
If it were merely a vehicle for physical procreation of the human species it would not be like this.
There are both physical and spiritual components to it.

 

[posthuman]

Wrong. ANY woman.

"But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." (Matt 5:28, NIV)

Notice that Jesus said, "a woman", not "your neighbour's wife". Given that He also gave the tenth commandment to Moses, I'm certain that He said exactly what He meant.

Would you say Matt. 5:28 still applies if the woman in question is your own wife?

 

[posthuman]

With in the confines of marriage.

Anything else is foolish

 

[posthuman]

Why would someone who is not married or not even potentially getting married want to torment themselves setting around thinking about sex? Except to whip themselves up to fornication, and put themselves into a situation so as to commit sin.
What good purpose is served by eye fornicating someone when marriage isnt on the table?

For a lot of people, particularly of a certain age, it isn't always a conscious decision.

 

[Dino246]

Would you say Matt. 5:28 still applies if the woman in question is your own wife?

No... with one exception.

God ordained the marriage relationship partly to provide a context for the expression of sexual desire (which, of course, He also designed). Desiring one's own wife and thinking about sex with her is a normal, natural, and healthy part of the overall relationship. Normally that should lead to his giving himself to her, and not manipulating, demanding, or self-gratifying.

The exception: where a marriage is strained because of a husband's sinful behaviour, and the wife has withdrawn sexual intimacy as part of a broader set of boundaries*, I would suggest that the husband is then acting selfishly by imagining sex with her. However, God is the judge; I'm not. I would simply encourage the husband to put that energy into dealing with his own issues so that the relationship is restored all the sooner.

*This is important: withdrawal of intimacy by itself is a punishment, not a healthy boundary consequence.

 

[JohnB]

Wrong. ANY woman.

"But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." (Matt 5:28, NIV)

Notice that Jesus said, "a woman", not "your neighbour's wife". Given that He also gave the tenth commandment to Moses, I'm certain that He said exactly what He meant.

The Greek word for woman "guné " meana a woman, married or single. It depends on the context. Jesus was talking about adultery, so he referred to a married woman.

 

[JohnB]

Why would someone who is not married or not even potentially getting married want to torment themselves setting around thinking about sex? Except to whip themselves up to fornication, and put themselves into a situation so as to commit sin.
What good purpose is served by eye fornicating someone when marriage isn't on the table?

It's called hormones. Some people have a stronger drive than others. Ask any teenager.

 

[Evmur]

"But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that." 1 Corinthians 7:28 Sadly, you have troubles either way. But some in the church make being single even harder than it should be, by telling singles if you even think about sex, you have sinned. Or they use "Stay away from every kind of evil. " 1 Thessalonians 5:22 They use that verse for anything they don't like.

I dasn't care what folks say or think. I enjoy being single ... God's grace trumps all.

 

[Dino246]

The Greek word for woman "guné " meana a woman, married or single. It depends on the context. Jesus was talking about adultery, so he referred to a married woman.

I understand your point, but I still think you're incorrect. I don't think Jesus intended the limitation to thinking about married women.

Consider (and apologies to everyone who is offended):

Would you think it is acceptable in the Lord's sight to imagine yourself having sex with a young single lady who will never be your wife?

What would you think of another adult male who admitted to you that he thought about having sex with your unmarried daughter?

Do you think it is an appropriate outlet for teenage Christian males to imagine themselves having sex with female classmates from Sunday school? What about the unmarried youth pastor... ?

Do you think it's appropriate for a Christian man whose love interest rejected him to console himself by imagining being with her sexually?

These are plausible outworkings of your position. If your interpretation is correct, every one of these is "good and proper" or at least not sinful.

 

[JohnB]

Because marriage is a contract. At that time a wife was considered property.

 

[JohnB]

I dasn't care what folks say or think. I enjoy being single ... God's grace trumps all.

Not everyone is given a gift of being single.

 

[Komentaja]

Unsaved muslims know how to deal with this better than Christians unfortunately. They just get married, and don't spend unnecessary time with the opposite gender for "DATING" purposes. Why cant we as saved people do the same?