Be very careful who you marry

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

ResidentAlien

Well-known member
Apr 21, 2021
8,319
3,619
113
#22
are blaming the wives? BOTH husbands were very jealous of their wives and their work in the ministries, How could you miss that?
Sounds like you're jealous of the husbands.
 

Komentaja

Active member
Jul 29, 2022
450
235
43
#23
Why is everyone so mean to John on this forum? Whats wrong with yall!

You are absolutely correct JohnB. We need lots of prayer and consideration on marriage, on WHO to marry and IF we should even marry in that situation of our lives, or IF we should ever marry.

Me personally I am not married because I don't have the money to support a wife, simple reason, not that I have anyone in mind either, all the Christian women I know are already married.
 

wattie

Senior Member
Feb 24, 2009
3,236
1,130
113
New Zealand
#24
Wow. My wife and I switch those roles almost on a daily basis!
We ignore this flippancy and move on. Mostly to grocery shopping and cooking. Then we reset the next morning.
Right.. so I was prepared to reset as you say.. but my wife.. not so much. If she wasn't happy.. she would leave, that was the constant threat.
 

JesusLives

Senior Member
Oct 11, 2013
14,554
2,176
113
#25
Right. This "perfect match" business is for those in the world. You start with that....you will end up severely disappointed.

Christian marriage is not a Netfix primetime dating show. It is 100% commitment regardless of who is bearing who's load.
Because of course.....the load can shift at any time.

Ultimately, marriage is an expression of our love and commitment to Jesus Christ, and we endure marriage trials by His strength and for His glory.

True?
I deleted that post as I thought about it and got that you did understand what I was saying you must have replied before I got to delete it.
 

maxwel

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2013
9,526
2,608
113
#26
"Be very careful who you marry."

John,
since you're always complaining about being single...
maybe you should be less careful.

: )

.
 
Mar 4, 2020
8,614
3,691
113
#27
As much as I would like to be married, I've seen times where it has ruined people's lives. I took 2 years of sign language and taught a Sunday School class for deaf children. We had services interpreted for the deaf. We had a new interpreter come in one Sunday. Her sign language was awesome. The way her hands and fingers flowed was like poetry. The other interpreters' was amazed at her signing. The deaf complimented her after services on her signs. She had a GOD given talent. One Sunday I walked over to her husband and mentioned how well his wife signed. He just glared at me and walked out. I asked others what happened? They said her husband was very jealous of her being in front of the church and getting the attention. Shortly after that she stopped. A couple of weeks later I saw her as a bible study and asked her what happened. She looked real nervous. looked around and said she couldn't talk about it and walked off. GOD had given this woman an incredible gift and her husband just crushed it out of jealousy.
I had a friend who was helping me with the Sunday School class and she was learning sign language. She loved working with the kids, went on day trips with us. She really loved the class. She got married, but said she would be coming back to the class. She never came back to the class. I asked her what happened. Her husband would not allow her to return. He was also cutting her off from her friends and family. They finally divorced after about 10 years. But, she missed out on so many blessing with with the deaf children, all because of her husband wanting complete control of her.
Just because someone says they are a Christian, and they might be, but attitudes and personalities make a difference.
Unlikely the jealous was unprovoked. We don't really know the back story, or what they went through before, or things that happened. I've been in a relationship where there simply was no jealousy or trust issues until that was violated and they created a reputation for themselves.
 

cv5

Well-known member
Nov 20, 2018
23,034
8,375
113
#28
Right.. so I was prepared to reset as you say.. but my wife.. not so much. If she wasn't happy.. she would leave, that was the constant threat.
Sorry to hear that bro....:cry:
 

JohnB

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2022
2,078
456
83
Calif
#29
Unlikely the jealous was unprovoked. We don't really know the back story, or what they went through before, or things that happened. I've been in a relationship where there simply was no jealousy or trust issues until that was violated and they created a reputation for themselves.
Ephesians 5:25-33

King James Version



25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
 

JohnB

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2022
2,078
456
83
Calif
#30
And I mean BOTH PARTERNS "giving" and not taking. Just to be clear.
But sacrificial love is the hallmark of a Christian to begin with. So there is that foundation to build upon.
In both marriages it went one way....for the husbands. They demanded full control.
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
13,813
7,788
113
#31
Most will find someone who will hold still for it and marry them, then go to the church to have God sanctify a union He had no part in.:unsure:(y):):coffee:
Better to have Him involved in who is His selection to love, honor and cherish.
blessings
 

Nehemiah6

Senior Member
Jul 18, 2017
26,074
13,777
113
#32
"Be very careful who you marry."
John, since you're always complaining about being single... maybe you should be less careful. : )
Now that is a refreshing response. I believe the best solution for John would be an arranged marriage. That should be very safe for him.
 
Mar 4, 2020
8,614
3,691
113
#33
Ephesians 5:25-33

King James Version



25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
That's the ideal, but it isn't normally the reality. Marriages can be quite difficult and we aren't Jesus Christ who was a lamb without spot.
 

HeIsHere

Well-known member
May 21, 2022
5,927
2,296
113
#35
I blame nobody. Since when am I their judge?
Agree.

What is the reason for this thread really, to show Christian how he valued these women and their husbands did not.:rolleyes:
 

HeIsHere

Well-known member
May 21, 2022
5,927
2,296
113
#36
Agree.

What is the reason for this thread really, to show Christian how he valued these women and their husbands did not.:rolleyes:

That should read, `to show how he valued these women and their husbands did not``
 
P

pottersclay

Guest
#37
Heres the thing about marriage.....agree to disagree if you cant do that then forget it.
Your never going to find the perfect person in fact that really boring.
Two people come together to share one life. Not to rule over each other but to journey through the ups and downs.
Our biggest argument was when we were being conciled by our pastor. He said the husband is the head of the house.
After that bomb shell we proceeded to have it out in the parking lot after the meeting. She wanted equal say in all things.
50/50 thats how she saw it. I think JESUS over heard our disagreement as did the neighbors.
The next few days were shall we say...quiet and intense as to our communication.
We meant with our pastor about a week later. He opened up with this statment...he said...wouldnt you agree that anything born with 2 heads is a freak? Wow like he had insite on what was going on. WE both agreed to his question then my wife calmly said ..so if things mess up i can blame my husband? He smiled and said well if he was the last word on it.
With that she smiled and said...ok im in.
That was 40 yrs ago. And we have had our shares of ups and downs. Ive made mistakes as well as she. But what always pulled us together is agreeing to disagree. Not lording over but giving time to see what becomes of of our decisions.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,598
17,062
113
69
Tennessee
#38
"Be very careful who you marry."

John,
since you're always complaining about being single...
maybe you should be less careful.

: )

.
Actually, that is very good advice.
 

HeIsHere

Well-known member
May 21, 2022
5,927
2,296
113
#40
Now that is a refreshing response. I believe the best solution for John would be an arranged marriage. That should be very safe for him.
I think his needs his parents to do that for him.