Good Guys versus Bad Boyz: Winning the Hand of a woman book review

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Batman1978

Guest
#1
Good day everyone.

Hope you all well.

Below is a link to one of the reviews to the above mentioned book, hope it tweeks your interest:
Good Guys vs Bad Boys ? Men Rising


If you cant get through to the link here is what was written:



We’ve all heard the oft used phrase that “Good guys always finish last.” It seems that what girls really want is the scoundrel bad boy type, and this confuses good guys. Brent Mark Lawrence delves directly into these two types in an attempt to explain why bad boys seem to be more preferred, but also how the good guys out there can win the hand of the lady.
Brent Lawrence is from Cape Town South Africa and has written this book from his own Christian perspective. It is an original work, and though the book contains many grammatical errors, it is still an easy and enjoyable read.
One of the first chapters was enough to raise an eyebrow. Titled “Understanding Women, and being a man about it” talks about the five things Christian girls look for in a guy, and 13 things women want in a man. Each chapter ends with a joke break. There is no foul language, but some of the topics may be objectionable – such as the one about animals doing drugs. Each joke will appeal to some readers as downright hilarious, while others may find them distasteful. To that end, I do not recommend this book for teenagers without a parent proofing the text before hand. As for all you single adult males out there who are having a hard time getting a grip on the elements of romance, this book could point you in some right directions.
I cannot vouch for the success one would hope to find by reading and using the principles outlined in this book, but I can say it is entertaining while trying to give sincere and practical advice. If you would like to contact the author about purchasing this book, please go to his page on Facebook by clicking on this link: Good Guys.
 
Jun 15, 2011
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#2
This book would be completely lost on me as I no longer understand in the least the concept of what exactly a "bad boy" and a "good guy" are. Some years ago I thought I understood the concept but now I don't.

Like if the problem with a good guy is that he is a crashing bore, then he isn't really a good guy at all... he's a crashing bore. And if by a bad boy women just mean they want some guy who will push them into casual sex because they are all a bunch of horndogs, maybe they should just quit lying about what they want and stop being so ridiculously uppity. Hardly makes sense to call someone a bad boy for seeing through female falsities and giving them what they truly want.
 
B

Batman1978

Guest
#3
Thanx for your reply. Thats why the book is there, to make you not lost anymore with your personal definition of these two guys.
 
Jun 15, 2011
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#4
Okay, well I read a synopsis of this book and I can see why you're promoting it and it may be of interest to some on here. PERSONALLY, however, I have come to dismiss the whole "Good guy versus bad boy" debate as simplistic, irrelevant, stupid, and pretty much the latest lame trend in "relationship truths". I remember some time ago someone wrote a book claiming that you were supposed to fall in love with a friend for the best possible long term relationship. Then after this was declared "relationship gospel" the completely contradictory view came out that if you wanted a romantic relationship with someone you absolutely had to avoid getting into "friend territory" as its too awkward to make the switch from friend to lover.

Like, for myself I have no clue if I qualify as a good guy or a bad boy... or which traits cause my undoing but it hardly seems worth my time to bother trying to position myself as one or the other.
 
Jun 15, 2011
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#5
I thought I'd just add an example to my previous post.

I seem to have developed a habit over the past two years of starting up a conversation with some woman and then bailing when she seems quite into the conversation. Then afterwards I ask myself why I did that and part of me says (good guy) because I have shyness problems and was too nervous to try to advance things further in any way and another part of me says (bad boy) that while I was talking to her I was studying her face and body up and down and determined that she wasn't a perfect 10 and hence wasn't worth my time. And I could just keep coming up with examples of where there is a good guy and a bad boy thing happening at the same time which, like I said, makes the whole premise pointless.
 
N

NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#6
The bad guy looks cooler on the cover of the book, on that alone i would prefer him..
 
B

Batman1978

Guest
#7
lol, the bad boy does look cool hey.
 
B

Batman1978

Guest
#9
yes, but only in your book.....
true ;) But they have always been regarded as the cool guys instead of us good guys.
 
Aug 2, 2009
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#11
1970's Batman was the best Batman that ever was! Adam West and the guy who played Robin and the actress who played Catwoman were actually at Comic-con just last week.
 
B

Batman1978

Guest
#12
like the crocodiles in the sewers???? lol
 
Jun 15, 2011
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#14
I'm sorry because I still don't understand this good guy versus bad boy thing. Could anyone answer my questions on this?

If a guy takes a girl out for dinner and insists on paying for everything but also understands that having done such a girl might be more likely to feel obligated to put out does that make him a good guy or a bad boy?

If a guy has a good friend Karen who has a sick relative she's upset about and he sympathetically listens to her whole story and afterwards thinks. Ah poor Karen, such a good hearted girl, I genuinely like her.... but also thinks "wow! that was the best cleavage ever! and I got to stare at them for a whole freaking hour!" Is he a good guy or a bad boy?

If a man holds a door open for a woman like a gentleman but was actually hoping for a good look at her butt, does that make him a good guy or a bad boy?

If a man goes to a nightclub and hits on the beer tub girl all night and says to himself "all the other girls are too drunk to converse with" but also acknowledges he was enjoying the best cleavage in the place are we talking good guy or bad boy?

If a guy returns to his parents house after graduating college and lives an extended life of leisure with no cares of making anything of himself, does that make him a good guy (mamma's boy) or a bad boy (indifferent to responsibility)?

If a man realizes during the christmas season that there are lots of easy lonely depressed girls at the bars but then notices that Alabama Tech State is playing Northern Baylor in the Weedeater Bowl and that must take precedence over all, does that make him a good guy or a bad boy?

Alternatively, if a man agrees to go out the night of the big game with his girlfriend and her social group but he's really thinking "wow, her friend Stacy is so hot!" is he a good guy or a bad boy?

If a married man has no interest in cheating on his wife so goes to the strip joint to oogle women he's never gonna touch or try to be with, does this make hims a good guy or a bad boy? (Now, I know some are gonna completely condemn the nudey bar, so let's say he goes to a Hooters with his friends for similar reasons.Good look, nothing further.)

If a guy is at some place and notices a young but legal girl in a vulnerable state, recognizes that there are some real predators that are likely to take advantage so approaches her and leaves with her but ends up making out with her without having sex, does that make him a good guy or a bad boy?

I'm sorry, but I really believe these are all legit questions on the whole good guy bad boy thing and to me it makes it more ambiguous than others like to admit.
 
May 6, 2011
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#15
those are more like questions for normal or sex-obsessed.. not good vs bad
 

niceguyJ

Senior Member
Feb 5, 2011
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#16
Persecuted, I think it comes down to intentions in each of your examples. Doing something nice for someone in an effort to be able to lust after them or even have sex with them is wrong. Period. They were doing something nice for the wrong reason. I'm not seeing any blurry lines there.

Also, in one of your examples you mentioned a guy going to look at nude women so he wouldn't cheat on his wife....or you say going to Hooters to eat for the same reasons. He's going to lust after other women either way. According to the Bible he is cheating on her by doing so. What's even worse is it's premeditated.

Matt. 5:28: But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
 
Jun 15, 2011
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#17
Persecuted, I think it comes down to intentions in each of your examples. Doing something nice for someone in an effort to be able to lust after them or even have sex with them is wrong. Period. They were doing something nice for the wrong reason. I'm not seeing any blurry lines there.

Also, in one of your examples you mentioned a guy going to look at nude women so he wouldn't cheat on his wife....or you say going to Hooters to eat for the same reasons. He's going to lust after other women either way. According to the Bible he is cheating on her by doing so. What's even worse is it's premeditated.

Matt. 5:28: But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Well by what you are saying then I would have to believe that "good guy" is quite simply another way of saying "God fearing Christian men trying their best to be holy and follow the bible to its fullest". Which I still have trouble grasping as the proper meaning because this whole good guy v. bad boy thing is always referenced in a much more secular setting with no one usually caring if the good guy is necessarily of any religious stripe. (Although maybe this book defines good guy as such?) I would also suggest if I could pin it down like this (which I don't believe) then any Christian girl would have no choice but to say the good guy was always her choice or else she would be throwing away Christian values and accepting sin in her choices. The only answer to the question of why women allegedly prefer badboys would simply be "because modern Christian girls are full of sin and lust and are deviating from the church." But then I don't think the girls on here are going to say that is what they mean by good guys versus bad boys. To me a good guy v. bad boy debate is something completely different than the concept of a sinner. But maybe I'm wrong?
 

niceguyJ

Senior Member
Feb 5, 2011
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#18
Mark:
17 As Jesus started on his way, a man ran up to him and fell on his knees before him. “Good teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”
18 “Why do you call me good?” Jesus answered. “No one is good—except God alone.

Now, I can't say that Jesus was necessarily saying "I'm not good". Perhaps he was just cleverly saying "Ohh, so you know who I am, God."

I think it's an interesting verse.
 

niceguyJ

Senior Member
Feb 5, 2011
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#19
Well by what you are saying then I would have to believe that "good guy" is quite simply another way of saying "God fearing Christian men trying their best to be holy and follow the bible to its fullest". Which I still have trouble grasping as the proper meaning because this whole good guy v. bad boy thing is always referenced in a much more secular setting with no one usually caring if the good guy is necessarily of any religious stripe. (Although maybe this book defines good guy as such?) I would also suggest if I could pin it down like this (which I don't believe) then any Christian girl would have no choice but to say the good guy was always her choice or else she would be throwing away Christian values and accepting sin in her choices. The only answer to the question of why women allegedly prefer badboys would simply be "because modern Christian girls are full of sin and lust and are deviating from the church." But then I don't think the girls on here are going to say that is what they mean by good guys versus bad boys. To me a good guy v. bad boy debate is something completely different than the concept of a sinner. But maybe I'm wrong?
I think a girl who is truly seeking God in her life would certainly only consider a man who is doing the same.
None are truly "good" except God himself..which goes along with that verse I posted up there. However, "God fearing Christian men trying their best to be holy and follow the bible to its fullest", as you said, sounds about right. I think that's how we should be.

Bad boy, good guy, etc. etc. They're just labels right? Labels can have some uses, but they're often just dumb too. A person can't be contained with a simple label. So I say forget labels and look at the person's heart and intentions. People are complex. We can wear many labels. One person might label us as one thing, and another will label us as another thing. It has a lot to do with perspective, and we each have one of those huh?
I'm not sure you'll find the answer you're looking for here. Those are my thoughts though. I don't think I have anything to add to them at this moment. It's not a topic I'm losing sleep over.

That's all I've gawt to say bout thayat. :D
 
K

kayem77

Guest
#20
I think a girl who is truly seeking God in her life would certainly only consider a man who is doing the same.
None are truly "good" except God himself..which goes along with that verse I posted up there. However, "God fearing Christian men trying their best to be holy and follow the bible to its fullest", as you said, sounds about right. I think that's how we should be.

Bad boy, good guy, etc. etc. They're just labels right? Labels can have some uses, but they're often just dumb too. A person can't be contained with a simple label. So I say forget labels and look at the person's heart and intentions. People are complex. We can wear many labels. One person might label us as one thing, and another will label us as another thing. It has a lot to do with perspective, and we each have one of those huh?
I'm not sure you'll find the answer you're looking for here. Those are my thoughts though. I don't think I have anything to add to them at this moment. It's not a topic I'm losing sleep over.

That's all I've gawt to say bout thayat. :D
Yei, I agree with you niceguy, you sure look like a nice guy *putting label on you* :)