I’m discouraged

[Lanolin]

Lets expose these prejudices about marriage and virginity.

Ruth actually wasnt a virgin when she married Boaz, she'd already had a husband but he died.

Boaz saw that she was VIRTUOUS though and thats quite different. I think people get the words mixed up.

He knew she wasnt a virgin. Whether Boaz was a virgin or not the Bible doesnt say, but virginity can apply to men as well.

All young girls are technically virgins before they menstruate. But you dont want adult men to prey on young girls that is WRONG.

 

[Lanolin]

Mary was a virgin because she was what only in her teens maybe 12-16 years old when God announced she would bear His son. She was already betrothed to Joseph but didnt know him (in biblical intimate sense)

This is interesting that God chose Mary who was already betrothed, He could have chosen another girl who wasnt betrothed. Or He could have chosen someone already married, or a woman who was already a mother. It would have made more sense

But why did God choose Mary? Joseph was about to divorce her/break off the engagement when he found out she was pregnant. Was it because she was a virgin or more that God saw something in Mary? Notice she didnt try and back her way out of the pregnancy, and Joseph was a bit clueless how to look after her (do husbands take them on long journeys back to their native lands while their wives are heavily pregnant?!)

Also God chose Elizabeth to bear John the Baptist and SHE wasnt a virgin though she was technically too old to bear a child. John had the holy spirit in the womb. She was already married to Zechariah.

Both births were miracles which was the point.

notice that in the OT, Sarah couldnt bear children either and so agreed with Abraham to let him impregnate Hagar who was their maid. Is it ever mentioned that Hagar was a virgin before that?

 

[Lanolin]

hmm lets see if the poster returns to prey on young girls in the young adult/teens forum.

I'm just sayin--- when something is not right you call it out for what it is.

 

[Moses_Young]

Lets expose these prejudices about marriage and virginity.

Ruth actually wasnt a virgin when she married Boaz, she'd already had a husband but he died.

Boaz saw that she was VIRTUOUS though and thats quite different. I think people get the words mixed up.

He knew she wasnt a virgin. Whether Boaz was a virgin or not the Bible doesnt say, but virginity can apply to men as well.

All young girls are technically virgins before they menstruate. But you dont want adult men to prey on young girls that is WRONG.

I think you're missing the point about virginity. When men seek virgins, what they are (often) really seeking is faithfulness. When Boaz married Ruth, she had been faithful to her previous husband until the fulfillment of her marriage covenant with him, through his death. The same applied to the other examples you gave - these women had all been faithful to their husbands (and to God), and they were rewarded with children.

When women are not virgins, for reasons other than the death of their husbands, and looking to remarry, this is unfaithfulness. I know there are the exceptions (e.g. rape) but these usually are exceptions, and not the rule. Not many men (or women) would be prepared to commence a marriage starting with an unfaithful partner.

 

[presidente]

I’ve been praying for a godly virgin women for so long and it hasn’t happened yet. I’m very discouraged about this.

Don't get discouraged. I'm married, but I prayed for that and got it.

Some women get bent out of shape at the idea of a man wanting to marry a virgin. But in the Bible, that's almost 'table stakes' as criteria for a woman to marry. Of course, widows women, women who had been raped, and 'defiled women' could marry also in the Old Testament, but not to a priest. The idea that marrying a virgin is desirable seems to be strongly implied.

I wanted to marry a virgin because I did not want someone who had become 'one flesh' with another man, whether she had married him or not. I also avoided becoming 'one flesh' with another woman, and backed away from temptation to fornicate.
I prayed for a wife. Then I prayed much more intensely about it and met my wife.

Hypothetically, a virtuous widow could have been a viable spouse for me, but I was young, and wanted a virgin instead.

Virginity is rare among adult singles in the US, but somewhat more common among those who are serious about their faith and regularly attend church.

My wife is from Indonesia. While it seems like, from what I heard there, fornication is more common than in the past, virginity at marriage for male and female is still expected. Maybe 5 years ago or so, I overheard my wife and a cousin from a rural village, who had gone off to college, lamenting about a young woman having lost her virginity before marriage. My guess is that it is much more common there for women to remain virgins. While it is a predominantly Islamic country, there are many millions of Christians there.

Things are kind of upside down in the US on this topic, even among church people. In the world, instead of fornicators being ashamed, they want to shame anyone who 'slut shames' a fornicator. Some Christians will even think badly of a man for wanting to marry a virgin, when that is a very normal thing.

And, of course, there are many other characteristics to look for besides virginity. A Christian man should look for a woman who fears the Lord, a woman who is kind, diligent, who would make a good mother, submissive (no matter what her personality is like), respectful, generous, not quarrelsome, etc. And the two of you should be on the same page about where you are going in life.

 

[Lanolin]

in the US fornication is quite common
But in Indonesia, which is predominately muslim, they keep woman way from the men. Like they are not allowed to even see men and must be under purdah. Muslim men value virginity as well. The whole headscarf and burqa thing amongst islamic people is an attempt to keep men from looking at women, and its the same for nuns habits etc in catholicism.

 

[Lanolin]

There are strict rules about it in other countries, but if you living in a more permissive country people tend to turn a blind eye. In the US sex is often in peoples faces and they use it to sell stuff.

Most areas in cities have certain red light districts where its the women have to do it for a living. Because theyve been trafficked or too poor.

 

[Lanolin]

Prostitutes are now called 'sex workers'. Apparently sex with a prostitute doesnt 'count' cos you pay to do it.

In the Bible, Tamar played a prostitute and so was Rahab and both were in Jesus lineage.

 

[presidente]

in the US fornication is quite common
But in Indonesia, which is predominately muslim, they keep woman way from the men. Like they are not allowed to even see men and must be under purdah. Muslim men value virginity as well. The whole headscarf and burqa thing amongst islamic people is an attempt to keep men from looking at women, and its the same for nuns habits etc in catholicism.

Where did you get this idea? Did you get your countries confused, or did you just fabricate 'facts' about the Islamic world? It isn't true based on my many years of experience in Indonesia.

I spent nearly 12 years in Indonesia. My wife is from there. I have some Muslim in-laws and lots and lots of relatives through marriage in my wife's extended family. I have worked with Muslim co-workers for years. I did not see what you describe in any visits to Muhammadan homes, including those of my relatives. I did not see it in the office. I have seen a few women that seem to be Indonesian with a face covering. Many of them do wear a head covering. And if a woman doesn't wear a head covering that doesn't mean she doesn't identify as Muslim, have it on her ID card, celebrate Muslim holidays. In the city, I'd guess maybe 20% of Muslim women wear head coverings. It could be as high as 40%. Indonesian Islamic head coverings tended to have some design on it, like batik, back in the 1990's. When I was there a few years back, one color, like gray, seems to be the norm-- a gray dress with a gray head covering. That's pretty close to how nuns dressed before it became the style for Muslims. I'm not sure if the nuns adjusted their habits or not to look less Islamic.

Out of the possibly thousands of faces of those I've seen dressed like this, I would guess I've seen maybe two with face-coverings, but dressed in an all-black 'ninja' outfit. I saw one come out of a small store/convenience store once, hope on her motorcycle, and drive off. It happened to fast, or I might have tried to catch a video of that with my phone.

Young women wearing the jilbab became more over time with a trend with the younger ones starting in the 1990's. Before it was more common with older women. Separating them in different rooms? Not allowing men to see women.... in Indonesia? I've never seen that. Aceh is more radically Islamic, but I would be extremely surprised if that were the case. I could ask one of my many sister-in-laws on a video chat someday. She lives in Aceh.

There might be some obscure Indonesian Muslim community that practices what you describe. It certainly isn't widespread or the norm based on my many years of experience with Indonesia. Based on my interaction with Malaysians and my brief time there, I seriously doubt the Malayu cultures up that way practice what you describe either.

Most predominantly Muhammadan countries are not like Saudi Arabia or Afghanistan.

Back when virginity was more common in the US, the men didn't keep all the girls locked in a shed either.

 

[Lynx]

Where did you get this idea? Did you get your countries confused, or did you just fabricate 'facts' about the Islamic world?

A little of both really. As near as we have been able to tell it is more the second than the first, but both usually come into play.

 

[Lanolin]

they just homeschooled them and kept them at home right

 

[Lanolin]

since when was virginity common in the US? In the state of virginia?

 

[CliveHQ]

I’ve been praying for a godly virgin women for so long and it hasn’t happened yet. I’m very discouraged about this.

It's important to remember that if God is not supplying what you want, then likely is supplying what you need! And maybe it's currently not apart of God's plan for you to find a lover. I have to frequently remind myself that I live in God's world and should conform to that.

 

[Lanolin]

virgin supply stores, where are they?