Honest question....why don't churches teach the best way to avoid fornication is to get married?

[Flannery]

And what was Paul's and Jesus answer to fornication? MARRIAGE.

He meant Virginity. Virginity isn't just not having had sex, it's fidelity. Do you know the story of Virgil, he wrote the Aniead and he's in Dante. "The married Virgin was still of his allegiance politically."

 

[JohnB]

I was merely responding in kind to the hypothetical.

Of course marriage needs be a wise decision. It's for life.

I have talked to Christians who say.....if you're and Christian and they're a Christian, that's all that matters. I tell them to talk to any couple married for 10 years or more.

 

[HopeinHim98]

Even he said his book was wrong. What more do you need? He apologized for writing the book. Look up some of the reviews of his books. You will see some sad stories. His views in the book were not biblical.

Him saying his book is wrong doesn't really make or break it for me whether the purity movement is wrong. Cuz look where he is. You can't throw the baby out with the bathwater.

Maybe I should ask you to clarify what exactly is the purity movement? Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it the promotion of courtship instead of dating, preferably hands-off and with the intent of marriage? And waiting on God to reveal your future spouse instead of dating around and getting your heart broken how many times?

 

[JohnB]

He meant Virginity. Virginity isn't just not having had sex, it's fidelity. Do you know the story of Virgil, he wrote the Aniead and he's in Dante. "The married Virgin was still of his allegiance politically."

"But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. " 1 Corin 7. Paul was not talking about being a virgin before marriage.

 

[HeIsHere]

Jesus and Paul were very clear, to stop fornication, get married. The reason for marriage is to have sex.

The reason for marriage is to have a family and bring forth the next generation.

 

[JohnB]

Him saying his book is wrong doesn't really make or break it for me whether the purity movement is wrong. Cuz look where he is. You can't throw the baby out with the bathwater.

Maybe I should ask you to clarify what exactly is the purity movement? Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it the promotion of courtship instead of dating, preferably hands-off and with the intent of marriage? And waiting on God to reveal your future spouse instead of dating around and getting your heart broken how many times?

The Purity movement pushed no physical contact before marriage, no one on one dating, only group dating, no holding hands, no kissing..... GOD does not reveal your future spouse. YOU decide who to marry.

A woman is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband die, she is at liberty: let her marry to whom she will; only in the Lord.....1 Corin 7:39

 

[JohnB]

The reason for marriage is to have a family and bring forth the next generation.

So the only reason to have sex is to have children? If you have 4 or 5 children do you stop having sex? Should couples who cannot have children, not have sex?

 

[HopeinHim98]

The Purity movement pushed no physical contact before marriage, no one on one dating, only group dating, no holding hands, no kissing..... GOD does not reveal your future spouse. YOU decide who to marry.

A woman is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband die, she is at liberty: let her marry to whom she will; only in the Lord.....1 Corin 7:39

Many of those seem to be pretty wise standards. Paul said it is better for a man not to touch a woman, and I know from experience even little things like holding hands can really attach you to that person...but what if you don't get married? I truly don't believe it's God's plan for people to give their hearts away to different people before they get married.

 

[ChristsChild]

I have talked to Christians who say.....if you're and Christian and they're a Christian, that's all that matters. I tell them to talk to any couple married for 10 years or more.

Why?

 

[HeIsHere]

So the only reason to have sex is to have children? If you have 4 or 5 children do you stop having sex? Should couples who cannot have children, not have sex?

Perhaps figure out the difference between purpose and the end of marriage.
People who separate sexuality from procreation, whether in their thinking or their actions, live in illusion.

 

[JohnB]

Perhaps figure out the difference between purpose and the end of marriage.
People who separate sexuality from procreation, whether in their thinking or their actions, live in illusion.

Having sex is not just about having children. From the beginning it's about the couple becoming one, nothing about having children.

 

[JohnB]

Why?

Personalities and the habits of each make a difference. A person can be a Christian and still have very bad habits or bad attitude.

 

[JohnB]

Many of those seem to be pretty wise standards. Paul said it is better for a man not to touch a woman, and I know from experience even little things like holding hands can really attach you to that person...but what if you don't get married? I truly don't believe it's God's plan for people to give their hearts away to different people before they get married.

So you put the fear into dating? Having your heartbroken is part of the growing process in life.

 

[ThereRoseaLamb]

Jesus and Paul were very clear, to stop fornication, get married. The reason for marriage is to have sex.

Oh wow, loaded!! I said something leaning in that direction and a lady here was ready to murder me!!

 

[ThereRoseaLamb]

The church is not encouraging marriage to deal with the issue. All I've heard is telling the young people to just ignore those desires, pray, think of Jesus, make yourself pure and holy.....none of these work. They are not practical for people in their late teens to twenties, when hormones are raging. The time to bond with the opposite sex is during these years. When you reach your 30's those desires are far less. At the time of Jesus, couples were married before they were 20. It had nothing to do with them not living longer. Jesus and Paul knew it was the physical desires. I wish I had done this in my 20's.

It's true, people married much younger, even my parents were married young. My father was 19. But there were a lot more women that were stay at home wives back then also. Everyone wants to have their cake and eat it too, er, so to speak.

 

[ThereRoseaLamb]

A healthy sex life will keep a marriage going even in bad times and disagreements. It was meant too, GOD's design.

It's definitely a part of it. Got to be clicking on other things too.

 

[ThereRoseaLamb]

Clearly you haven't been married. The fights are about sex. The man doesn't think there is enough and isn't smart enough to know that an intimate encounter for a woman started the night before when her husband massaged her sore feet that hurt from her chasing after kids all day.
Also,while marriage is to a degree to fill the earth, it primarily exists to glorify God. And if you believe an unhappy woman is going to be receptive to your advances let me help you out...keep cold compresses handy and a pillow and blanket in the closest closet to the couch.

Please tell me you teach youth Sunday school.

 

[Dan58]

"Also,while marriage is to a degree to fill the earth, it primarily exists to glorify God "....Jesus and Paul never said that. They were both very clear marriage is to control the desires.

Paul also wrote;
For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.
I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.

I think Paul was relating to being an itinerant preacher, it being a job that makes marriage hard. Imagine dragging a spouse around from city to city, not to mention children. Tough to give 100% spiritually when your embroiled with obligations of the flesh. But not everyone can bring their fleshly desires under subjection to their spirit like Jesus & Paul did, in which case it is better to find a spouse.

 

[ThereRoseaLamb]

oh come on you know every young adult gets embarrassed and the parents feel awkward talking to much about it,
Most church leaders are parents to or been young once.
It would be common sense to leave something so personal to the parents to discuss.

I guarantee you this, their friends at school or college, their teachers are NOT embarrassed or awkward in talking about it. And the church better get over it and start talking about these issues before they get brainwashed in the other direction.

Besides I wouldn't be happy about a priest talking to my child about sexual relations
Maybe you should be looking there first. rather than the church.

The Bible teaches about sexual relations. Your youth are hearing it from movies, tv, mags, teachers, friends. You don't want the church to speak about it??! Wow. No wonder so many youth are mixed up about their gender.

 

[Cameron143]

Please tell me you teach youth Sunday school.

I used to have a children's ministry at church. Now young adults.
But I taught my own children not to date until they were ready to get married. I also advised them not to have any form of intimacy until after marriage. I told my sons that if the first time they held their wives hand was at the altar when her father placed her hand in theirs and if their first kiss was after they said "I do" they will have given their wives a gift of all their intimacy. It will be a gift that she will treasure for a lifetime and a gift that she alone receives. She will always know that you were loving her long before you ever met.