so...... what's the common denominator in this story?..... just sayin.....I did several times, no attraction.
just pokin fun, brother....
so...... what's the common denominator in this story?..... just sayin.....I did several times, no attraction.
I know of a woman who shortly after she was married was very mad her husband did not like they way she kissed. They did the whole purity thing, no physical contact until after marriage. They are now paying the price for that.
But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion 1 Corinthians 7:9 Paul taught that.
His disciples said to Him, “If this is the case between a man and his wife, it is better not to marry.” “Not everyone can accept this word,” He replied, “but only those to whom it has been given. Matthew 19:11 - 12 Jesus said so.
Why does the church find it so difficult to accept this? Why don't they talk about how to choose a spouse?
I still have hope it will happen.LOL, you're a hopeless case dude. I'd like to say hang in there; but honestly, that would be giving you false hope. Just accept your lot in life and forget about finding a wife. It's never gonna happen.
I think finding a good spouse is like winning the lottery.so...... what's the common denominator in this story?..... just sayin.....
just pokin fun, brother....
The church I WAS going to, Calvary Chapel Costa Mesa, was very big on purity. I finally left the church for that reason.Are you saying you've never found a woman who doesn't want to wait to kiss you until after the wedding ?
That highlighted comment is often tough to know. Many people are sincere, but sincerely wrong, because their beliefs don't line up with Scriptures. There's also the posers who might say what they think you want to hear in order to get who they want. They aren't saved and you don't know that up front. I can give a couple examples of that from my past.Woah, what happened with Josh Harris? Isn't he the one who wrote "I Kissed Dating Goodbye"?
....Okay, I found an article: Kissing Marriage Goodbye: Joshua Harris Announces Divorce (published July 19, 2019)
In another article, I found out that not only did he divorce his wife, Shannon, but he's also divorced God!
I think Christians should really wait on the Lord about everything, but especially marriage because it is such a full commitment. This is why to this day I'm not married. I don't want to marry just because everyone else is (for status), or out of loneliness (social), or for sex (physical need).
When I was young, I used to run ahead of God in matters of love and romance, but God never blessed my efforts. I learned that it's best to stay within God's borders - His plans for my life, even if it means I may never get married. And you know what? When I put my life in God's hands, it really was so liberating! I found that I was actually happy even though I don't have the "married" status. Which is was so surprising to me!
Anyway, in terms of sex, the solution is still the same - hand your life over to God. If you live by the Holy Spirit just like what the Bible says, He really will help you resist falling into temptation. It starts in the mind, and that's where you really should put that fire out at the very earliest. For example, if you're attracting to someone and sexy thoughts start playing in your mind, turn to God right away in prayer for His help! If you allow the sexy thoughts to linger and not hand those thoughts over to God, you're going to get weaker and weaker until you end up sinning. So yeah, defeat the temptation at the earliest point and DON'T GIVE UP RESISTING AGAINST IT!
Also, it's really scary that your spouse may end up not being faithful to God. That always terrifies me and now I'm seeing that in Josh and Shannon's relationship. I also saw it in my parents' relationship. One of the reasons why my Mom was attracted to my Pop was because he used to teach a Sunday school class and his father was an influential Christian (my grandfather established a lot of Campus Crusade for Christ chapters in universities and did a lot of evangelical work - he also prayed for me to get saved!). Anyway, turns out my father was kind of forced into doing Christian activities because of his father - it was never because of a real belief and personal walk with our Lord Jesus. But my Mom didn't see that before they got married.
So for all who are single, just remain trusting and abiding in the Lord. Let Him make you happy instead of waiting for someone else to make you happy. And if it's God's will, then marriage will happen - but if not, it's not the end of the world!
❧
have you always been lead by the purity doctrine ?.The church I WAS going to, Calvary Chapel Costa Mesa, was very big on purity. I finally left the church for that reason.
Apparently, that seems to be a persistent glitch nobody's been able to work out.Nahh… she talks too much.![]()
I argued with them over this. Told many of them the idea was stupid and why. Sadly many people and churches follow every wind of doctrine they hear. Very few search the scriptures to see if it's true. I hated the book "I kissed Dating Good Bye" by Josh Harris. Many at Calvary fell head over heels over his ideas. Bill Gothard came to speak at Calvary and all my friends praised him and his teachings. I heard what he has to say and told everyone he was wrong, and being legalistic. It came out later he was covering up for his brother in an affair. Bill Gothard had young teen girls in his office, rubbing their hair, shoulders and feet. He was just the opposite of what he was preaching.have you always been lead by the purity doctrine ?.
Are you saying you've never kissed a woman ?.
That highlighted comment is often tough to know. Many people are sincere, but sincerely wrong, because their beliefs don't line up with Scriptures. There's also the posers who might say what they think you want to hear in order to get who they want. They aren't saved and you don't know that up front. I can give a couple examples of that from my past.
One extreme example was Maria who was demon possessed. I learned that in the middle of the day on campus between the Chemistry building and the main library. The demoniac in the gospels was a good description of what I saw that day. That started out scarry. I could have lost my life at the hands of her that day. She admitted to not being saved shortly after at the breakup. All of that was wasted time, emotions, work and money that would have been better used for God's purposes.
Related to that point is a passage from 2 Peter 2
"But there were false prophets also among the people, even as there shall be false teachers among you, who privily shall bring in damnable heresies, even denying the Lord that bought them, and bring upon themselves swift destruction.2 And many shall follow their pernicious ways; by reason of whom the way of truth shall be evil spoken of....For it had been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than, after they have known it, to turn from the holy commandment delivered unto them.22 But it is happened unto them according to the true proverb, The dog is turned to his own vomit again; and the sow that was washed to her wallowing in the mire."
This brings me to the Josh Harris book that I read. I agreed with his concepts of purity and establishing proper habits to maintain that. There was a lot of wisdom in the book for a guy just out of highschool...20.
It really wasn't something that you had to be saved to understand though. That was his biggest problem. He was trusting in his morality and repentance from sins to be saved.
Even though he went on to be hired by an evangelical mega church, that didn't make him a born again Christian. I wondered why a pastor goes to some liberal theological seminary after landing that ministry. Then he renounces what he claimed to believe about the Bible and the Lord it describes. I checked out his church's doctrines on salvation and it's a hard core works method.
"NOT by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us."
Titus 3:5
Josh did not receive God's mercy, because he went about to establish his own righteousness. As a pastor, he was a false prophet leading many astray to a firey destiny. As a false prophet, he eventually became reprobate. He went down the slippery slope of too many pastors.
I've seen that happen more than once too.
I Timothy 4:1-3
"There is wisdom in not putting a novice in place. It was not sound that the Body of Christ should have followed a sexual movement started by a 21-year-old preacher. The American craze not only misled many Christians worldwide (I personally know many in Asia who remained single for far too long due to the misguided desire to abstain from any dating), but it was also a disservice to Joshua Harris. He had not developed the stability and maturity to handle his call. Parts of his message may have been correct, yet his character was not ready to last the distance.
This is why I am a big believer that every young person should “pay their dues”; that is, be an apprentice, work for someone else, support another church leader’s vision, and don’t expect too much by way of recognition or promotion. Pay your dues, be humble, and in due season God will lift you up. (1 Peter 5:6)"
“Not a novice, lest being puffed up with pride he fall into the same condemnation as the devil.” (1 Timothy 3:6)
I can see your having problems there but your not answering any questions.I argued with them over this. Told many of them the idea was stupid and why. Sadly many people and churches follow every wind of doctrine they hear. Very few search the scriptures to see if it's true. I hated the book "I kissed Dating Good Bye" by Josh Harris. Many at Calvary fell head over heels over his ideas. Bill Gothard came to speak at Calvary and all my friends praised him and his teachings. I heard what he has to say and told everyone he was wrong, and being legalistic. It came out later he was covering up for his brother in an affair. Bill Gothard had young teen girls in his office, rubbing their hair, shoulders and feet. He was just the opposite of what he was preaching.
I love this book! She had so much wisdom. Granted, they weren't married long at all, (I think around 2 1/2 years? because of Jim's death) but yes they had a very godly relationship before they were married. I don't think you'd even call it a courtship or dating hardly, but they were in love 5 years and sought God a lot to make sure they were in His will. Such a good example.but I did read Elizabeth Elliot's "Passion and Purity" at that time instead, which was about Jim and Elizabeth Elliot's courtship. But that was a successful marriage because they really did put God first both individually in their own lives long before they ever met each other and as a dating couple as well.
1) no ( I would never marry any woman who said no kissing before marriage)I can see your having problems there but your not answering any questions.
I can't help you or pray for if you don't.
I asked what your main
concern was
You haven' answered 5 questions I'll ask again
I'll ask them one more time
Just say yes or no in order and nothing else.
1 have you never got married because you've never found a woman who is prepared to wait until after the wedding befor kissing you ? Yes or no.
2 are you against sex befor marriage yes or no.
3 have you always been lead by the purity doctrine yes or no.
If so how long is it since you decided not to be. For this question you can answer yes or no followed by the amount of years
4 are you a virgin yes or no.
5 have you had any intamite relations with a woman yes or no.
Please answer like this
Yes
No
Yes 3 year
No
Yes
I'm sorry for your troubles and to ask theese question but your the one who had made this public this is not something I would normally ask anyone.
It's sin. No fornicators will inherit the kingdom of God.2) no (may not be the best thing, but I understand it, may have no impact on your marriage)
It works for some, does not work for others.I love this book! She had so much wisdom. Granted, they weren't married long at all, (I think around 2 1/2 years? because of Jim's death) but yes they had a very godly relationship before they were married. I don't think you'd even call it a courtship or dating hardly, but they were in love 5 years and sought God a lot to make sure they were in His will. Such a good example.
so if you have sex outside of marriage, even just once or twice, you don't go to heaven? What if the two people got married later? No heaven? If someone is married 2 or more times (it's adultery) no heaven?It's sin. No fornicators will inherit the kingdom of God.
I think it's obvious what Paul is saying here. Look at the mercy shown to the one who sinned in the Corinthian church. But do we sin that grace may abound? God forbid. "Whosoever sinneth hath not seen him, neither known him." 1 John 3:6 b. Of course we as Christian will sin at times! God is rich in mercy; if we confess, He forgives. But we have to agree with God that sin is sin.so if you have sex outside of marriage, even just once or twice, you don't go to heaven? What if the two people got married later? No heaven?
I remember the 1990's.... Purity was a very big deal back then and I can understand why so many young Christians fell for that movement. I didn't read his book, but I did read Elizabeth Elliot's "Passion and Purity" at that time instead, which was about Jim and Elizabeth Elliot's courtship. But that was a successful marriage because they really did put God first both individually in their own lives long before they ever met each other and as a dating couple as well. Since you read "I Kissed Dating Goodbye", was there anything like that in the book?
In terms of Josh Harris being hired by a megachurch, I read an article as to why the megachurch was wrong to have hired him without much experience. Here's an excerpt that explained it very well:
❧