whatever is noble..

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Jullianna

Guest
#1
#1
I Corinthians 13 - 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Hopefully, we know when being in a relationship with someone would not be good for US, but what if you found yourself wanting to be with someone, but wondering whether that would be the best thing for THEM? What would your reaction be under those circumstances? Would you put your feelings first or theirs?
 
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NukePooch

Guest
#2
#2
Already been there and done that. I've stopped fledgling relationships due to that very issue. There is no way I'm gonna let things go on when I know it's not right.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#3
Aug 2, 2009
24,653
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#3
How could we possibly know whats best for the other person? :confused:
 
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allforfun

Guest
#4
#4
I have put stops to relationships because I knew it would be bad for them.

How do we know. I will give a very personal example. I was a dating a professor at a university who was going into the political field. I at the time was going through some things that could have been very bad for him and smeared his name. I knew that was bad for him off the start after I found out his intentions of going into the political arena. I also have some friends that while they are on the good side now, have some unsavory pasts that could get dirty for someone like him.

I am not wanting to start a debate about a Christian dating a politician. Nor having unsavory people in our present, because they are noble people now. But we can't all start off pristine sparkling clean. I didn't want to hurt his future. So I stepped aside.
 
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niceguyJ

Senior Member
#5
Feb 5, 2011
520
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#5
Theirs. *and this is just filler cause it says my reply has to be at least 10 characters long when I try to send*
 
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allforfun

Guest
#6
#6
niceguyJ said:
Theirs. *and this is just filler cause it says my reply has to be at least 10 characters long when I try to send*
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I have the dumbz tonight and would like to know where "theirs" go.
 
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allforfun

Guest
#7
#7
I actually got it now. I am dumb tonight. I'm going to bed before I hurt myself.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#8
Aug 2, 2009
24,653
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#8
allforfun said:
I have put stops to relationships because I knew it would be bad for them.

How do we know. I will give a very personal example. I was a dating a professor at a university who was going into the political field. I at the time was going through some things that could have been very bad for him and smeared his name. I knew that was bad for him off the start after I found out his intentions of going into the political arena. I also have some friends that while they are on the good side now, have some unsavory pasts that could get dirty for someone like him.

I am not wanting to start a debate about a Christian dating a politician. Nor having unsavory people in our present, because they are noble people now. But we can't all start off pristine sparkling clean. I didn't want to hurt his future. So I stepped aside.
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But that sounds like something that would simply be considered wrong by most people. I think the original question is about a relationship where one person does not have whatever it is the other one needs.
 
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allforfun

Guest
#10
#10
zeroturbulence said:
But that sounds like something that would simply be considered wrong by most people. I think the original question is about a relationship where one person does not have whatever it is the other one needs.
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Well whatever. I read it wrong and I don't get it.

Relationships are stupid and we should die single.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#11
Aug 2, 2009
24,653
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#11
allforfun said:
Well whatever. I read it wrong and I don't get it.

Relationships are stupid and we should die single.
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Sorry, I didn't mean that I thought it was wrong, I meant just most people (society). I don't judge relationships based on age differences or anything like that. I'm not real clear on what the original question is either.
 
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NukePooch

Guest
#13
#13
I took Jullianna's original question to mean...well, as an example, there was a woman I liked who was really, really interested in me. At the time, I was moving around every six months and could fit everything I own in one small pickup truck load. I didn't have any money or security. She wanted to settle down and have a family and a house and I wanted to see what was over that next hill, around that next bend, and whatever my next job was going to be... Though I had feelings for her, I knew I wasn't the best for her, so I cut it off before it went any farther. One of us would have had to put our dreams and wishes on hold so we could be together. It was much better just to let her find the man who was a better fit.
 
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persecuted

Banned
#14
Jun 15, 2011
308
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#14
Allforfun's response changed what I would have said from just reading the starter post. I guess if there really truly is something about yourself as a partner that will cause much trouble you should consider walking away. However, I would suggest that 98% of the time a person should lay the cards on the table and let the other person decide because quite often people in love start getting stupid soppy feelings about how great the other person is and how worthless they are. Then they walk away and the other person ends up in a much worse relationship with someone that doesn't really care about them.
 
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allforfun

Guest
#15
#15
NukePooch said:
I took Jullianna's original question to mean...well, as an example, there was a woman I liked who was really, really interested in me. At the time, I was moving around every six months and could fit everything I own in one small pickup truck load. I didn't have any money or security. She wanted to settle down and have a family and a house and I wanted to see what was over that next hill, around that next bend, and whatever my next job was going to be... Though I had feelings for her, I knew I wasn't the best for her, so I cut it off before it went any farther. One of us would have had to put our dreams and wishes on hold so we could be together. It was much better just to let her find the man who was a better fit.
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That is how I took it as well. Sometimes, the attraction is there but for whatever reasons, we are not a point in our lives that makes it possible. And the better thing to do is to walk away before someone (them) gets hurt. I tried to convey that will my example, but perhaps I failed.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#16
#16
Yep..you guys got the jist of it. :)

It could also be something a bit more subtle. One is more ..jaded..perhaps than the other. Should the one who is a bit more worldly wise step back and want the innocent-minded one to find someone more like themselves? Tough call...

Maybe I think too much :) Must.stop.thinking.
 
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NukePooch

Guest
#17
#17
Jullianna said:
Yep..you guys got the jist of it. :)

It could also be something a bit more subtle. One is more ..jaded..perhaps than the other. Should the one who is a bit more worldly wise step back and want the innocent-minded one to find someone more like themselves? Tough call...

Maybe I think too much :) Must.stop.thinking.
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First off, yes. You do think too much.

Second, don't stop it.

Third, those who have been there and seen that will tend to have difficulty relating to those who have been sheltered. It's like allforfun's 'Box-o'-Christianity' thread. Those who are the former drug addicts will tend to have difficulty relating to those who are preacher's kids, for example. (and vice-versa)
It can even be worse when it comes to relationships...

However, under no circumstances should the 'worldly-wise' be forced to stay with 'their own kind'. It all depends on what each person needs/wants/dreams of. In my case, I felt it was best to cut off the relationship because what I had to offer didn't coincide with her dreams, wants, and wishes. Case in point...if I was interested in someone who was a former prostitute or drug abuser it wouldn't bother me, because having a spouse with a squeaky-clean background is not on my 'wish list'. If I was interested in someone who needed/wanted a lot of money and possessions, then yes, that would be a problem, because 'simple living' IS on my wish list.

Another example...perhaps there is someone we shall call...Hullianna. Perhaps Hullianna has seen and/or experienced things in life that would put her in the 'jaded' camp, while she's interested in dating Mr Clean. (cause she's got a thing for bald guys) If Mr Clean has stated that he wants someone 'cleaner' than him, than perhaps he needs to pursue the Pine Sol Lady. If it's not important to him, then Miss Jaded might be a good choice. Note, this hypothetical scenario can be reversed if Miss Hullianna decides that she would rather go for Charlie Sheen...
 

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Jullianna

Guest
#18
#18
Mr Clean is kinda hot. But that could just be my OCD talking :)
 
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