I know i already posted this in the teens forum but I might need some advice on my feelings

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Jun 23, 2023
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#1
There’s a guy who i met online, he has all the green flags. He checks all the boxes, he’s cute. He likes me too i think, he said i check all the boxes. But he also likes one of his girl best friends and she has a bf. Im ngl I want to give up on the whole thing. I have no hope that we will ever get into a relationship because he lives so far away and he’s still getting over someone. He tells me to not give up cuz we don’t know what God has in store. I don't really believe in the power of prayer anymore, everytime I prayed, things got worse and im sick of it. Ppl always tell me i have my whole life ahead of him but no one actually knows that. Many ppl my age and younger die. I could be next, im fine with that but the point is, no one actually knows. I was willing to sacrifice a lot of things for a relationship with him but now i see no way that God will ever be able to have us date. Yes i know that God can do miracles, he’s even changed a persecutor of Christians into a follower of Christ. But tbh maybe this is just another way of God telling me that im not enough. I’ve kinda had it
 

Becky77

New member
Jun 23, 2023
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#2
If he is getting over someone then he needs time to heal. People are too quick to get into relationships, after another. You can’t go into a relationship when you still hung up on someone you can’t give them what they need.

Please don’t give up on prayer God is a faithful God. If you seek him you will find him. We seek home by prayer, and reading his word. You want wisdom read proverbs.
Single people can devote themselves more fully to God's work: “An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife—and his interests are divided” (1 Cor. 7:32-34).
My point is focus on Jesus now, God will work out the rest the word of God can give you peace. I know it does me when my feelings start to take over. Praying that you walk in the path that God has for you.
 

resto

Active member
Feb 25, 2019
169
76
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#3
There’s a guy who i met online, he has all the green flags. He checks all the boxes, he’s cute. He likes me too i think, he said i check all the boxes. But he also likes one of his girl best friends and she has a bf. Im ngl I want to give up on the whole thing. I have no hope that we will ever get into a relationship because he lives so far away and he’s still getting over someone. He tells me to not give up cuz we don’t know what God has in store. I don't really believe in the power of prayer anymore, everytime I prayed, things got worse and im sick of it. Ppl always tell me i have my whole life ahead of him but no one actually knows that. Many ppl my age and younger die. I could be next, im fine with that but the point is, no one actually knows. I was willing to sacrifice a lot of things for a relationship with him but now i see no way that God will ever be able to have us date. Yes i know that God can do miracles, he’s even changed a persecutor of Christians into a follower of Christ. But tbh maybe this is just another way of God telling me that im not enough. I’ve kinda had it
Sounds like you figured it out. "Kinda Had It". Be patient. I have met women locally and online in the past 2 years. Heres my story. Popcorn anyone? After I lost my wife of 32 years, I was very lonely. Im in my 60s. Not a very Target Rich Environment for dating. LOL !st Fail: The woman who worked in the deli. Been shopping there 6 years til then. Profile: 58 years old. Looks 30. Filipina. Gorgeous. Finally got up the courage to ask her to lunch in the park. We talked about being attracted to each other. We agreed to date. Lasted 3 months broke up 2 times. She is Jealous, bitter and mean.
Fail 2: Asian Christian Dating Site(Online). Profile #1 Chinese Language Professor at University in Beijing. Christian, Not a Party Member. 59 years old. Very Pretty, super Inteligent, Traditional Chinese Woman(Old School). Visits me for 1 week. Our personalities clashed.
Fail #3 Local Freind of 14 years. Chinese, Beautiful. Richer than you can imagine. Humble, very kind. Stubborn like me, thats why we are close friends. We both knew dating would ruin our friendship.
Fail#4 Another Beautiful Filipina. Same result as Fail 1 same profile but Catholic.
Fail #5 Asian Christian Dating Site. Viet Nam this time. Ghosted.
Seeing a Trend yet? Yup. You guessed it. Yellow Fever. I contracted it in the Marines as we frequent Asia, we kept what we conquered. Im Joking.
SCORE!: Asian Christian Dating Site. Profile: Thailand 53 yrs old. Widowed 2.5 years. Beautiful. Wealthy. Educated. Married 23 years to retired British Royal Navy Helo Pilot. Developed and owned Hotel on Spanish Med Coast. Cashed in. Husband lived 10 years after. Died of Parkinson's. She was his caregiver and died hugging. Gave me Flashbacks. We expressed a lot about our common experience. Former Practicing Buddhist(Born in it).
Dont Give Up, but be practical and Wise. Most of all. Know Thyself and follow Jesus.
 

ThereRoseaLamb

Well-known member
Jan 17, 2023
4,787
2,068
113
#4
There’s a guy who i met online, he has all the green flags. He checks all the boxes, he’s cute. He likes me too i think, he said i check all the boxes. But he also likes one of his girl best friends and she has a bf. Im ngl I want to give up on the whole thing. I have no hope that we will ever get into a relationship because he lives so far away and he’s still getting over someone. He tells me to not give up cuz we don’t know what God has in store. I don't really believe in the power of prayer anymore, everytime I prayed, things got worse and im sick of it. Ppl always tell me i have my whole life ahead of him but no one actually knows that. Many ppl my age and younger die. I could be next, im fine with that but the point is, no one actually knows. I was willing to sacrifice a lot of things for a relationship with him but now i see no way that God will ever be able to have us date. Yes i know that God can do miracles, he’s even changed a persecutor of Christians into a follower of Christ. But tbh maybe this is just another way of God telling me that im not enough. I’ve kinda had it

I checked your age in your other post, 18? No one at 18 wants to hear wait or be patient. I get it, I didn't want to hear it either. But I didn't date till I was in my 40s! A lot of that was because I was in ministry. But still, it took a long time for me to find someone. The first person I dated was wrong, on every level. I thought I was "fixing" the person and they didn't want to be fixed. I realized I wasn't God and gladly he moved so far on the other side of the country that that door was closed for me. I have a wonderful praying mother and I believe she prayed in a husband for me.

It's not fun waiting, but if God stops you there is usually a reason. He has no reason not to want to see you happy. But sometimes what we just know will make us happy is the wrong person. Or maybe the wrong time. But if we rush ahead we can get into some really bad situations. We have to learn to listen for God. God is not telling you you're not enough, it's the opposite, He cares so much He's telling you to wait because He can see around the corner and we can't. You are more than enough. Ask God what He would have you do in the mean time while you wait. God wants the best for you, but you have to trust Him.
 

Genipher

Well-known member
Jan 6, 2019
2,285
1,688
113
#5
There’s a guy who i met online, he has all the green flags. He checks all the boxes, he’s cute. He likes me too i think, he said i check all the boxes. But he also likes one of his girl best friends and she has a bf. Im ngl I want to give up on the whole thing. I have no hope that we will ever get into a relationship because he lives so far away and he’s still getting over someone. He tells me to not give up cuz we don’t know what God has in store. I don't really believe in the power of prayer anymore, everytime I prayed, things got worse and im sick of it. Ppl always tell me i have my whole life ahead of him but no one actually knows that. Many ppl my age and younger die. I could be next, im fine with that but the point is, no one actually knows. I was willing to sacrifice a lot of things for a relationship with him but now i see no way that God will ever be able to have us date. Yes i know that God can do miracles, he’s even changed a persecutor of Christians into a follower of Christ. But tbh maybe this is just another way of God telling me that im not enough. I’ve kinda had it
He's getting over someone, likes one of his friends, and is insinuating you wait "just in case"? Kinda sounds like he wants you keep you available as backup.

You're young. I'd move on, find ways to stay active, see where/how God wants to use you. And pray for the man God has for you...this dude doesn't seem to be it.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
60,344
29,592
113
#6
He's getting over someone, likes one of his friends, and is insinuating you wait
"just in case"? Kinda sounds like he wants you keep you available as backup.

You're young. I'd move on, find ways to stay active, see where/how God wants to
use you. And pray for the man God has for you... this dude doesn't seem to be it.
Players gonna play.
 
Jun 23, 2023
37
8
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#7
He's getting over someone, likes one of his friends, and is insinuating you wait "just in case"? Kinda sounds like he wants you keep you available as backup.

You're young. I'd move on, find ways to stay active, see where/how God wants to use you. And pray for the man God has for you...this dude doesn't seem to be it.
not necessarily. He said we probably wont date in the foreseeable future if he still is getting over someone
 

Genipher

Well-known member
Jan 6, 2019
2,285
1,688
113
#8
not necessarily. He said we probably wont date in the foreseeable future if he still is getting over someone
Ah, so he's basically saying it ain't gonna happen so you can move on.
 

SomeDisciple

Well-known member
Jul 4, 2021
2,271
1,050
113
#9
I don't really believe in the power of prayer anymore, everytime I prayed, things got worse and im sick of it.
You might want to deal with these feelings first; and put your feelings for this dude on the back burner.... or maybe even in the trash can; I'm not sure.
I know adversity can weigh down on people, and that can make it hard to approach God in prayer with the right attitude; but, to get rid of that weight we have to get our priorities straight.
 

Nehemiah6

Senior Member
Jul 18, 2017
26,074
13,777
113
#10
But tbh maybe this is just another way of God telling me that im not enough.
What if God is telling you that this person you want a relationship with is not the right person? God does not see any Christian as being "not enough".
 
Sep 15, 2019
9,991
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#11
not necessarily. He said we probably wont date in the foreseeable future if he still is getting over someone
You should listen to Genipher's comment. His comments sound to me to be guy-talk for he's happy to be friends, but don't wait around for him. He may even like you, but the obstacles already, his situation and/or getting over his ex means he won't come for you any time soon. This may be God's answer to your prayers - there is someone better. If I were you, I'd move on from considering him as a potential future boyfriend. Life is too short.
 
Jul 5, 2023
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#12
What you need is the spirit from God. Its not for everyone. It SUPERCEDES your feelings. Makes you happy, about things other than before.
 
Jun 23, 2023
37
8
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#13
What if God is telling you that this person you want a relationship with is not the right person? God does not see any Christian as being "not enough".
I always feel like im not enough around everyone
 
Jun 23, 2023
37
8
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#14
You should listen to Genipher's comment. His comments sound to me to be guy-talk for he's happy to be friends, but don't wait around for him. He may even like you, but the obstacles already, his situation and/or getting over his ex means he won't come for you any time soon. This may be God's answer to your prayers - there is someone better. If I were you, I'd move on from considering him as a potential future boyfriend. Life is too short.
Not his ex, his best friend
 

Nehemiah6

Senior Member
Jul 18, 2017
26,074
13,777
113
#15
I always feel like im not enough around everyone
Ignore everyone else and focus on God's opinion of you. If you are are Christian then go back to the Bible and see what God has to say. We can either choose to be victims or victors.
 
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