How to love your family, when God hates the nonelects?
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No, He doesn't. He may love everyone in an earthly sense in providing for their physical needs, but not in the spiritual sense - and that is not a contradiction: one earthly; one spiritual.
If God loves all of the lost spiritually, then all of the lost must become saved. The meaning of those verses is that the true believers are to share the gospel with everyone that they can - sharing the gospel is truly loving someone because it is eternal, just as God wrote the Bible with the gospel that everyone may read it - as rain falls upon the justified and the unjustified alike. That does not mean all will become saved nor that God desires all to become saved. We, as people, do not know who those will be just as at the time no one would have expected Saul/Paul to become saved.... but... God knew because God had planned to save him from before the foundation of the world and therefore, he was justified by Christ. So, in not knowing, we are to share the gospel with everyone without prejudice.
And you ignore the verse that says God hated Esau and are treating it as though it isn't there: that God hated, means that God hated. Again, God spiritually hates those not justified by Christ because they are guilty of sin. It is Christ who turned God's hatred into love for those specific individuals whom He had chosen: the elect. Had Christ not done so, then the Father's hatred and wrath would have been upon the entirely of mankind with none of us loved by Him nor saved.
And you should read your Bible more closely and try harder to realize what it is actually saying. Try to read closely and think about the following verses, ignoring none of them.
[Rom 9:11 KJV]
11 (For [the children] being not yet born, neither having done any good or evil, that the purpose of God according to election might stand, not of works, but of him that calleth
[Rom 11:5 KJV] 5 Even so then at this present time also there is a remnant according to the election of grace.
[Eph 1:4 KJV] 4 According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love:
Faith to faith means from (Christ's) faith imputed to His elect, which translates into, and becomes their faith in Him, which faith, being that Christ is fully and completely Saviour in all ways possible, to include their belief.
No one, whether it be by human intellect or nature, has true faith in Christ unless it is given to them by God. No matter how you perceive faith - what you believe that it is, or it isn't - unless it had come from God to them, then it is not true faith in Christ, neither can it be.
I know you don't like to read verses that I include (probably because they contradict what you've been taught) but try to read and think about these anyway because they are pertinent. I've highlighted the important parts to make their points obvious and simple.
BTW: "natural man" is unsaved man. Everyone born is as a natural man.
[1Co 2:14 KJV] 14 But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know [them], because they are spiritually discerned.
[Gal 2:16 KJV]
16 Knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the law, but by the faith of Jesus Christ, even we have believed in Jesus Christ, that we might be justified by the faith of Christ, and not by the works of the law: for by the works of the law shall no flesh be justified.
Faith in Christ comes by hearing the word of God, and it's available to everyone.
No you don't.
The word of God is literally the Hebrew YHWH. When the word of God comes to a person the God cites his name.
How does he know they are not of the chosen few? The same way he "knows" that he is of the chosen few.
Why are you deliberately contrarian and intellectually dishonest?
I made a comment designed to encourage a poster of the hope of salvation. Why would you diminish that?
No, hearing is NOT available to everyone. Hearing comes only from being born again - it is spiritual hearing, not human hearing. Read the following verses it is made clear there. After this post, this dialogue is finished.
[Jhn 6:44-45 KJV]
44 No man can come to me, except the Father which hath sent me draw him: and I will raise him up at the last day.
45 It is written in the prophets, And they shall be all taught of God. Every man therefore that hath heard, and hath learned of the Father, cometh unto me.
[Jhn 8:42-43 & 47 KJV]
42 Jesus said unto them, If God were your Father, ye would love me: for I proceeded forth and came from God; neither came I of myself, but he sent me.
43 Why do ye not understand my speech? [even] because ye cannot hear my word.
47 He that is of God heareth God's words: ye therefore hear [them] not, because ye are not of God.
[Jhn 10:4-5 KJV]
4 And when he putteth forth his own sheep, he goeth before them, and the sheep follow him: for they know his voice.
5 And a stranger will they not follow, but will flee from him: for they know not the voice of strangers.
Wrong. Faith in Christ comes by hearing the word of God, and it's available to everyone.