Easier Becoming a Member of a Biker Gang Than a Local Church
I don't own a motorcycle, but I'm pretty sure I could get into a local motorcycle club much easier than becoming a member of a local church.
For most churches, the vetting process is insane. First, you have to sign up for a new member course online. That sounds reasonable until you discover that the class is "full." Huh?
The thing I love most about Heaven is that God will never say to me, "Sorry, we're full."
Now, you have to wait for the next class. Okay, that sounds fine until you discover the next one is not for another three months. Again, huh?
For some denominations, you must have a referral from a pastor within the same denomination to become a member. So let me get this straight:
You need a denominational pedigree to become a member, or else you cannot? Respectfully, the only pedigree worth the paper it's printed on is the one from my Heavenly Father. Of course, it's priceless and can never be altered.
I love that following Christ outside a brick-and-mortar building is not having to wait for some man-made hierarchal authority to tell me it's okay. I just do it.
I get to engage in these activities:
We shouldn't follow Christ alone, you say? But I'm not alone. There are four people in my small group:
Unlike other small groups, mine meets year-round instead of abandoning members for summer, Christmas, New Year's, and spring break.
A Motorcycle Club is Never Closed
Most churches in North America are open to the public an average of three hours out of a 168-hour week. In contrast, biker gangs are always available since they don't typically worry about owning a building. Anyone is free to assemble at any time.
Can Local Churches Fix This?
Unfortunately, the same church model has been with us for almost twenty centuries:
1. You go to a designated building to gather once a week.
2. You worship for 15 minutes with others (yay!).
3. You shake hands with a few people (becoming less and less of a thing).
3. You sit quietly for one hour and listen to one person talk.
4. You wave frantically to a few people you know on the way out.
5. Lather, rinse, repeat next week.
Is Technology Really the Answer?
Many churches turn to technology as the ultimate answer to their dwindling numbers. Or it may be a further attempt to keep those time-consuming, needy people at arm's length.
Whatever the reason, there are several inherent problems with this strategy:
Are Small Groups the Answer?
Churches that break down into small groups admit it's the only way to truly connect with other believers. The problem is in the way we typically do it.
Most churches break their small groups into demographics. For example:
You get the idea. Fortunately, I've never encountered a church that breaks down into racial groups. I fall on my face every day, praying that never happens.
Breaking down into demographic groups seems reasonable. Unfortunately, many groups miss out on the wide range of perspectives necessary for our spiritual growth.
Gatekeepers and Other Hindrances
The local church, I'm convinced, invented gatekeepers. These are people trained to make it difficult for you to move freely within rigid institutional systems developed by large corporations.
Gatekeeper #1: Church Office Assistant
The pastor is busy, busy, busy. As with the CEO of a major corporation, you'll rarely get to express your appreciation for them in person. Their agendas are so full that, even with an appointment, you will often be referred to someone else who can relay your message. This is the job of the second gatekeeper: The associate pastor.
Gatekeeper #2: The Associate Pastor
There could be one or more associate pastors in a single church. These people aren't nearly as important as the head pastor but are just as good at keeping you at arm's length. They also have a gatekeeper in charge of them: The elder.
Gatekeeper #3: The Elder
Unlike pastors, elders are highly accessible. Unfortunately, they often know little about current membership requirements, program details, etc. If you need concrete answers, they'll refer you to the head pastor or person in charge of church membership.
Gatekeeper #4: The People in Charge
The people in charge of the membership classes, small groups, and micro-ministries are the people you need to see. Unfortunately, to get to them, they often have their own gatekeepers.
Gatekeeper #5: Online forms, sign-up sheets, and QR codes
I wonder how Jesus did without all the hierarchical church structure, gatekeepers, and digital technology. It's truly amazing how He signed up 12 disciples without the internet or a smartphone.
I'll keep trying to infiltrate my church with all its locked doors, gatekeepers, and online sign-up sheets. One day, I pray I'll be a member of a church that values my service.
Meantime, I'll continue following Christ in seclusion.
I don't own a motorcycle, but I'm pretty sure I could get into a local motorcycle club much easier than becoming a member of a local church.
For most churches, the vetting process is insane. First, you have to sign up for a new member course online. That sounds reasonable until you discover that the class is "full." Huh?
The thing I love most about Heaven is that God will never say to me, "Sorry, we're full."
Now, you have to wait for the next class. Okay, that sounds fine until you discover the next one is not for another three months. Again, huh?
For some denominations, you must have a referral from a pastor within the same denomination to become a member. So let me get this straight:
You need a denominational pedigree to become a member, or else you cannot? Respectfully, the only pedigree worth the paper it's printed on is the one from my Heavenly Father. Of course, it's priceless and can never be altered.
I love that following Christ outside a brick-and-mortar building is not having to wait for some man-made hierarchal authority to tell me it's okay. I just do it.
I get to engage in these activities:
- Worship on my own
- Pray on my own
- Study on my own
- Serve on my own
We shouldn't follow Christ alone, you say? But I'm not alone. There are four people in my small group:
- The Father
- The Son
- The Holy Spirit
- Me
Unlike other small groups, mine meets year-round instead of abandoning members for summer, Christmas, New Year's, and spring break.
A Motorcycle Club is Never Closed
Most churches in North America are open to the public an average of three hours out of a 168-hour week. In contrast, biker gangs are always available since they don't typically worry about owning a building. Anyone is free to assemble at any time.
Can Local Churches Fix This?
Unfortunately, the same church model has been with us for almost twenty centuries:
1. You go to a designated building to gather once a week.
2. You worship for 15 minutes with others (yay!).
3. You shake hands with a few people (becoming less and less of a thing).
3. You sit quietly for one hour and listen to one person talk.
4. You wave frantically to a few people you know on the way out.
5. Lather, rinse, repeat next week.
Is Technology Really the Answer?
Many churches turn to technology as the ultimate answer to their dwindling numbers. Or it may be a further attempt to keep those time-consuming, needy people at arm's length.
Whatever the reason, there are several inherent problems with this strategy:
- No one wants to fill out another online form, download another app, or hassle with yet another QR code.
- If it's going to be so impersonal, why not just go to an "online church?"
- If you're going to keep people at arm's length, you may as well have "church" at Walmart, Sam's Club, or Costco. At least they're convenient for shopping afterward.
- Church and automation don't go well together. It makes people feel even more disconnected – hard to imagine – from their local church communities.
Are Small Groups the Answer?
Churches that break down into small groups admit it's the only way to truly connect with other believers. The problem is in the way we typically do it.
Most churches break their small groups into demographics. For example:
- Women's groups
- Men's groups
- Senior groups
- Young adult groups
- People-with-blue-hair groups
You get the idea. Fortunately, I've never encountered a church that breaks down into racial groups. I fall on my face every day, praying that never happens.
Breaking down into demographic groups seems reasonable. Unfortunately, many groups miss out on the wide range of perspectives necessary for our spiritual growth.
Gatekeepers and Other Hindrances
The local church, I'm convinced, invented gatekeepers. These are people trained to make it difficult for you to move freely within rigid institutional systems developed by large corporations.
Gatekeeper #1: Church Office Assistant
The pastor is busy, busy, busy. As with the CEO of a major corporation, you'll rarely get to express your appreciation for them in person. Their agendas are so full that, even with an appointment, you will often be referred to someone else who can relay your message. This is the job of the second gatekeeper: The associate pastor.
Gatekeeper #2: The Associate Pastor
There could be one or more associate pastors in a single church. These people aren't nearly as important as the head pastor but are just as good at keeping you at arm's length. They also have a gatekeeper in charge of them: The elder.
Gatekeeper #3: The Elder
Unlike pastors, elders are highly accessible. Unfortunately, they often know little about current membership requirements, program details, etc. If you need concrete answers, they'll refer you to the head pastor or person in charge of church membership.
Gatekeeper #4: The People in Charge
The people in charge of the membership classes, small groups, and micro-ministries are the people you need to see. Unfortunately, to get to them, they often have their own gatekeepers.
Gatekeeper #5: Online forms, sign-up sheets, and QR codes
I wonder how Jesus did without all the hierarchical church structure, gatekeepers, and digital technology. It's truly amazing how He signed up 12 disciples without the internet or a smartphone.
I'll keep trying to infiltrate my church with all its locked doors, gatekeepers, and online sign-up sheets. One day, I pray I'll be a member of a church that values my service.
Meantime, I'll continue following Christ in seclusion.
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