Would you date or marry a separated or divorced person?
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The problem with that is, here on this forum we have a surfeit of SAPs (Self Appointed Preachers) and the last thing we need is another one. Shoot, sometimes we get four in one week!
Every one of them follows the same pattern:
- He breezes in with blithe confidence, certain that the forum members are his new congregation and will be grateful for his spiritual guidance.
- He proceeds to ride his favorite hobby horse until it is dead, then starts beating it.
- He gets upset because people either express indifference or disagree with him.
- He starts claiming "I'm just quoting the Bible, so if you disagree with me you're disagreeing with God's word" a whole lot.
- He gets disgusted, denounces the whole forum as a pit of heretical vipers and (hopefully) leaves to berate some other crowd.
We have seen the whole routine so often that some of us who have been here longest can even predict to within a few hours when each stage will hit.
Every one of them follows the same pattern:
- He breezes in with blithe confidence, certain that the forum members are his new congregation and will be grateful for his spiritual guidance.
- He proceeds to ride his favorite hobby horse until it is dead, then starts beating it.
- He gets upset because people either express indifference or disagree with him.
- He starts claiming "I'm just quoting the Bible, so if you disagree with me you're disagreeing with God's word" a whole lot.
- He gets disgusted, denounces the whole forum as a pit of heretical vipers and (hopefully) leaves to berate some other crowd.
We have seen the whole routine so often that some of us who have been here longest can even predict to within a few hours when each stage will hit.
I see the forum has some regular smart alecs and naysayers also.
The Bible also teaches that we have gifts differing according to the grace given to us, and that we are to minister as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. So I wouldn't try to belittle, discourage, or denounce someone if they are a 'preacher'. If what they are saying is good, then it is better to be encouraging, or at least not say anything at all. Do you dislike preachers in real life also?
I had a couple of ideas for topics related to singles and posted them here. I get posts and tags from people who want to post about how they don't like the OP. I really don't get it. If I see an ugly outfit in a store window, I don't go in the store to tell the clerk I don't like the outfit and don't want to buy it. Even worse, someone starts attacking my character for daring to ask a few questions in the OP and quotes from verses.... on Christian Chat. On the other areas I've been on on Christian Chat, the thread doesn't fill up with people telling you you should have posted on a given topic. It's just a few people doing it on this thread, though.
I don't care if I post a message and there are no takers. People posting just to say they don't want to talk about it is weird and annoying to me. The bizarre personal attacks were a bit strange. It's a sensitive topic, but this is a Christian forum, and my post was on the theme of the forum. It's an important topic. I'd expect this type of reaction on a secular forum if the topic or gay or trans rights or something like that.
If newcomers often encounter this reaction, I can't help but think the forum is a little like Sodom, except instead of raping newcomers, they just face a bit of ridicule.
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divorced...no just be friends..as they probably dont want to be married again after having divorced.
separated...no they probably need more guy friends than a woman friend and also theres a chance that they may go back to their wife when they work things out
OP hasnt mentioned widowed but widowers probably need a friend more than a new wife or a nanny I supoose it depends on how old the children are
I think people defintely have to be aware of children in these previous relationships and how you treat them too as they belong to them first!
separated...no they probably need more guy friends than a woman friend and also theres a chance that they may go back to their wife when they work things out
OP hasnt mentioned widowed but widowers probably need a friend more than a new wife or a nanny I supoose it depends on how old the children are
I think people defintely have to be aware of children in these previous relationships and how you treat them too as they belong to them first!
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I think if the children accept you thats a good sign but if not its no good for them and you will have a rough time. If the divorced or separated person doesnt have any children thats something else but they are probably a bit truamatised from the break up anyway.
They just need a friend who cares more than going through all that drama again. Though God will graciously let you know if its to go any further, for some people maybe they just KNOW.
esepcially if they are in love for the first time, however with christians our first love is Jesus so, anyone else is going to come second. If you loved someone BEFORE you became a christian and it didnt work out, knowing Christ will make your relationships better I suppose. Being equally yoked seems to be a big thing but its rare to find marriages where the balance is equal.
also when victims marry they need to lick their wounds and heal before heading into another its awful to be someones second best on the rebound...but actually in the Bible young widowers/widows are told to remarry as their exes are no longer around of course they ought to be dead and buried...and any children do need a mother or father figure esp when young its hard to be a solo parent
They just need a friend who cares more than going through all that drama again. Though God will graciously let you know if its to go any further, for some people maybe they just KNOW.
esepcially if they are in love for the first time, however with christians our first love is Jesus so, anyone else is going to come second. If you loved someone BEFORE you became a christian and it didnt work out, knowing Christ will make your relationships better I suppose. Being equally yoked seems to be a big thing but its rare to find marriages where the balance is equal.
also when victims marry they need to lick their wounds and heal before heading into another its awful to be someones second best on the rebound...but actually in the Bible young widowers/widows are told to remarry as their exes are no longer around of course they ought to be dead and buried...and any children do need a mother or father figure esp when young its hard to be a solo parent
Oh, that. We see that a lot too from SAPs. "Everyone who disagrees with me is an idiot, intentionally rebellious and not a real christian." I didn't add it to the list because it's more of an overarching theme than a stage.
So we have not yet reached the pit of heretical vipers stage. Good. My watch is running right on time.
So we have not yet reached the pit of heretical vipers stage. Good. My watch is running right on time.
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Let's look at the facts. I post a few questions about divorce and remarriage along some words of Christ and Paul on a forum. I don't frequent here on this subforum much, but in other sections of ChristianChat quoting Bible verses is accepted behavior. Certain forum members have apparently taken it upon themselves to respond negatively to those who do so... or else only do this on the topic of divorce. These may be the same posters that like to comment on not liking the topic of the thread without posting about it.
A supposedly Christian forum that has a culture of jumping on people for quoting Bible verses has a bad culture. It may just be a few people behind that. But it's not a good thing.
If you want to mock people who quote Bible verses on a Christian site, and negatively characterize them, I think that says a lot more about your character than it does about whoever you are trying to mock. If you don't like preachers or you don't like people who quote Bible verses, that is your own problem.
Btw, I get along well with people in my church. I am active in ministry. I've got someone trying to get me to do a ministry engagement now, off of these forums. I don't domineer and dictate people in the church. I haven't come in here bossing people around. I post some questions and a verse and got some flack for doing something simple like that, and a couple of posters, one in particular, laid in on me with a bunch of crazy-sounding accusations. And you started with your mocking.
A supposedly Christian forum that has a culture of jumping on people for quoting Bible verses has a bad culture. It may just be a few people behind that. But it's not a good thing.
If you want to mock people who quote Bible verses on a Christian site, and negatively characterize them, I think that says a lot more about your character than it does about whoever you are trying to mock. If you don't like preachers or you don't like people who quote Bible verses, that is your own problem.
Btw, I get along well with people in my church. I am active in ministry. I've got someone trying to get me to do a ministry engagement now, off of these forums. I don't domineer and dictate people in the church. I haven't come in here bossing people around. I post some questions and a verse and got some flack for doing something simple like that, and a couple of posters, one in particular, laid in on me with a bunch of crazy-sounding accusations. And you started with your mocking.
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You should get your glasses prescription checked. Those crazy sounding accusations were friendly advice. Alas, you rebuffed said advice multiple times, and that one person in particular seems to have moved on to something more useful to do.
And I sure hope I don't dislike preachers. I'm a preacher myself, with a local minister's license with the United Pentecostal Church International, and I'd hate to think I don't like myself...
And I sure hope I don't dislike preachers. I'm a preacher myself, with a local minister's license with the United Pentecostal Church International, and I'd hate to think I don't like myself...
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I was talking about John telling me what I supposedly was saying and believed, when I'd just asked a few questions and posted a few scriptures.
You aren't being a good advertiser for the UPCI with the antagonistic attitude. Also, why would you try to tell people they are going to do this negative list of things... instead of trying to encourage people if you are a preacher?
Why would a preacher people 'SAPs' for quoting Bible verses and asking questions. It doesn't make much sense.
Are you divorced, btw?
You aren't being a good advertiser for the UPCI with the antagonistic attitude. Also, why would you try to tell people they are going to do this negative list of things... instead of trying to encourage people if you are a preacher?
Why would a preacher people 'SAPs' for quoting Bible verses and asking questions. It doesn't make much sense.
Are you divorced, btw?
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I'm not antagonistic about your message. I'm dubious about your methods.
Assuming everything you have said is absolutely correct, your approach is still terrible. It's like walking into a bar and berating all the customers about the evils of alcohol. Technically accurate, but it won't profit anything.
Assuming everything you have said is absolutely correct, your approach is still terrible. It's like walking into a bar and berating all the customers about the evils of alcohol. Technically accurate, but it won't profit anything.
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