From childhood to adulthood, despite the deplorable conditions I live in, deep inside my inner recesses, I have always nurtured the dream of being a medical researcher with a PhD in Biological science. It is only till I die that my dream will be buried with me.
The challenge of translating my dream from being just a mere dream to practical reality is as difficult as climbing high mountains and going down deep valleys, the unavoidable trials that stems from birth. Mine was wounded, crippled and killed by situations but I have refused to bury it. I still believe in a PhD, I still believe in working and researching in medicine and have refused to bury my dream unborn.
I believe the death of my dream is a route, a path that I was supposed to follow to prepare me for the practical reality of life. A way a mere shadow of my childhood dream will be translated from a mere dream to a practical breathtaking reality.
Born in Bangolan in 1989, my parents Muh Edward, born in 1952 and Ngueh Pascaline born in 1959 never had any formal education. I had other siblings but they all died. As peasant farmers, our livelihood was less than $30 a month. We lived on products from the farm and only bought things like salt and sometimes oil for cooking. Sometimes we were able to produce oil for ourselves and only buy salt. In our farms, we produced things like rice, maize cocoyam, beans, groundnut, cassava and plantain.
After primary school in Government Bangolan where I obtained my first school leaving certificate, trouble started. Actually, I never got to meet my grandfather and immediately I completed primary school, my grandmother died. All her children and stepchildren had to share the pieces of land that she had in equal proportion. This proportion is in respect to the number of Male children that you have. Different dates were set for the sharing and before each of those date, a Male child died. My uncle had started visiting sorcerers, getting charms and killing their brothers’ children. Children from my aunties were safe because women could not inherit any property.
My father name was Arouna. He was a faithful Muslim. After he had lost many sons and a daughter, he met a missionary by name PLAVIOUS who lead him to Christ and when he had me, he was already a Christian and may be that is the reason why am still living. My father only knew PLAVIOUS to come from the white man’s land and they never knew any difference between European countries. He named me after his Friend that led him to Christ and I became the only surviving child.
Because my father was Christian or had given his life to Christ, they drove him out of their family compound and gave him a far away land( it was abomination to live in the same compound with Christian), far from the main compound. He settled there. The other land and properties of their parents were shared and all his land was far from the main compound. Because he was Christian, he was excluded from his family members and the brothers and sisters would never visit him. I actually knew some of my uncles but my father asked me to be careful with them. He said if they could not kill me in the spirit world, they may poison me or kill me by any means. Some of them would not even greet me when we met on the way.
After primary school and because of the fear that I might be killed, he sent me to live alone in a far away town,Bamunka (Ndop). None of them knew where I was living. I only visited home once in a while. He rented a single room, bought my bed and a kerosene stove for me to cook my food. All my food he usually brought with him. Each time he visited, he would always remind me of the meaning of my names. “Muh" which means Prince, PLAVIOUS which to him is the name of the person who gave him a different life and because of him I am living and Kienyui which means Godgiven as I was the only son God gave him after he gave his life to Christ.
In Ndop, I attended Government Bilingual High School Ndop where I did and received my Ordinary Level Certificate. Because life was so hard living alone, I started selling sweets at school. I would buy a pack of sweets for 500frs($1) and sell for 700frs($1.4). I could sell this packet of sweets in one week or more to make a profit of 200frs($0.4) and that money may help me to buy salt, maggi or kerosene for my stove. All through my secondary school, I never had a textbook or owned a school bag. I would borrow textbooks from my classmates to do my assignments and carried my books in my bare hands. My allowance for 3 months was 1500frs($3USD) and my house rent 4500frs($9USD). At the beginning of every term, I received 6000frs from my parents ($12USD). 4500frs(9USD) will be given to my land lord, 500frs for my sweet business and 1000frs to by kerosene, salt, oil and other things that I needed for cooking. I was using a kerosene lamp instead of electricity. My father always told me to stay at my level and not compare myself with the rich.
At the end of each academic year, I had a scholarship of 10000frs from the school to which my father would add 7000frs for my tuition for the next academic year. I usually worked very hard to get the scholarship as
it was the only guarantee to pay 17000frs($34US) next academic year. It was difficult for my parents to raise that amount in a year from their peasant farming.
I finally had my Ordinary Level Certificate in 2006 and then somebody attacked me where I was living and my father suspected it could be one of my uncles. My death was a guarantee for them to kill my father and own his land. My parents decided to send me to a different town far away from Ndop and Bangolan.
We went for admission in CCAST Bambili and because of my brilliant results at the General Certificate of Education ordinary level I was admitted to do Biology, Chemistry, Physics and Mathematics at the Advanced level. Here, life became harder. It was difficult for me to get food as my parents were far away and the rents had increased, there was no scholarship and the tuition had also increased. Apart from selling sweets, I started fishing every weekend to get more money. I did not have money to pay practical fees for the science subjects and was always sent out of class. Practical was 40% of the GCE and I made up my mind that without the 40%, I could still pass the GCE. But in 2007, before I wrote the Advanced Level, my mother died. It was just the two of us. My father and I. I succeeded to write the Advanced level and got all my 4 papers despite the 40% reduction in all the subjects.
I wanted to do Medicine but it was the thing of the rich. The tuition was high and I could not pay. I thought of Teachers Training College but could not pay either. Because I had high ambitions for Health, I decided to do Biochemistry in a State University where the tuition was a little cheaper 50000frs(100USD). I went to Yaounde during the holidays, worked for three months and had 30000frs. My father struggled and sent 15000frs so I had 45000frs. I paid admission fees of 10000frs and used 5000frs to certify my documents. The remaining 30000frs, I paid the first instalment of tuition fees of 25000frs and was left with 5000frs.
School started, I was living in a simple building, among armed robbers, rapists and drug addicts. I had to do it to be able to afford go to school. The cheapest room in the student quarters was 20000frs. I had just 5000frs. I was supposed to pay the second and last instalment of 25000frs. This time, I start selling water in school. Each day, I was able to make 500frs profit and by January 2009, I was able to complete my second instalment fee. I struggled the same way in my second but the third year, I was unable to pay. I had to stay back and work for one year and in 2011, I finally had my Bachelor degree.
After getting my Bachelor degree, I had developed more passion for health and research. I immediately enrolled into masters in Biochemistry and before the end of masters 1, my father had an accident. He started having a big stomach, went to the hospital and was referred to the University Teaching Hospital in Yaounde. He went to Yaounde, sold some of his landed properties and I even had to give away my documents, all my school certificates as collateral to get money for his treatment. After two months of hospitalisation, he died and all the debts were on me.
Up to date, my documents are still being held and I usually get just the attestation of lost each time I want to use them. I tried to replicate some but could not get all. I hope someday, I will be able to have all my documents.
I met Mum Lois in January 2017. I had been living an in uncompleted building for more than three years. I was very sick, hungry and homeless. I was also very skinny and could not walk freely. The sickness made me urinate unknowingly. I had given up on myself and had prayed for death several times but death was not coming quickly enough. I conceived the idea to poison myself and die rather than suffering. I started imagining why God created me and why he would allow me to go through what I was going through. It was so bad that I had began to wonder how unfair the Lord had been in his creation. I would sit and imagine why some people have enough to eat, buy flashy cars and live in mansions while others do not have a place to call home.
I had gone to many churches to ask for help but in each of the churches I had been to, they had a criteria of persons they wanted to help and I never fitted into any of them. Some would say, “We don’t help people above 20 years”, others would say, “We only help those in rural areas”, “We do not give food and shelter” and so on…..
The challenge of translating my dream from being just a mere dream to practical reality is as difficult as climbing high mountains and going down deep valleys, the unavoidable trials that stems from birth. Mine was wounded, crippled and killed by situations but I have refused to bury it. I still believe in a PhD, I still believe in working and researching in medicine and have refused to bury my dream unborn.
I believe the death of my dream is a route, a path that I was supposed to follow to prepare me for the practical reality of life. A way a mere shadow of my childhood dream will be translated from a mere dream to a practical breathtaking reality.
Born in Bangolan in 1989, my parents Muh Edward, born in 1952 and Ngueh Pascaline born in 1959 never had any formal education. I had other siblings but they all died. As peasant farmers, our livelihood was less than $30 a month. We lived on products from the farm and only bought things like salt and sometimes oil for cooking. Sometimes we were able to produce oil for ourselves and only buy salt. In our farms, we produced things like rice, maize cocoyam, beans, groundnut, cassava and plantain.
After primary school in Government Bangolan where I obtained my first school leaving certificate, trouble started. Actually, I never got to meet my grandfather and immediately I completed primary school, my grandmother died. All her children and stepchildren had to share the pieces of land that she had in equal proportion. This proportion is in respect to the number of Male children that you have. Different dates were set for the sharing and before each of those date, a Male child died. My uncle had started visiting sorcerers, getting charms and killing their brothers’ children. Children from my aunties were safe because women could not inherit any property.
My father name was Arouna. He was a faithful Muslim. After he had lost many sons and a daughter, he met a missionary by name PLAVIOUS who lead him to Christ and when he had me, he was already a Christian and may be that is the reason why am still living. My father only knew PLAVIOUS to come from the white man’s land and they never knew any difference between European countries. He named me after his Friend that led him to Christ and I became the only surviving child.
Because my father was Christian or had given his life to Christ, they drove him out of their family compound and gave him a far away land( it was abomination to live in the same compound with Christian), far from the main compound. He settled there. The other land and properties of their parents were shared and all his land was far from the main compound. Because he was Christian, he was excluded from his family members and the brothers and sisters would never visit him. I actually knew some of my uncles but my father asked me to be careful with them. He said if they could not kill me in the spirit world, they may poison me or kill me by any means. Some of them would not even greet me when we met on the way.
After primary school and because of the fear that I might be killed, he sent me to live alone in a far away town,Bamunka (Ndop). None of them knew where I was living. I only visited home once in a while. He rented a single room, bought my bed and a kerosene stove for me to cook my food. All my food he usually brought with him. Each time he visited, he would always remind me of the meaning of my names. “Muh" which means Prince, PLAVIOUS which to him is the name of the person who gave him a different life and because of him I am living and Kienyui which means Godgiven as I was the only son God gave him after he gave his life to Christ.
In Ndop, I attended Government Bilingual High School Ndop where I did and received my Ordinary Level Certificate. Because life was so hard living alone, I started selling sweets at school. I would buy a pack of sweets for 500frs($1) and sell for 700frs($1.4). I could sell this packet of sweets in one week or more to make a profit of 200frs($0.4) and that money may help me to buy salt, maggi or kerosene for my stove. All through my secondary school, I never had a textbook or owned a school bag. I would borrow textbooks from my classmates to do my assignments and carried my books in my bare hands. My allowance for 3 months was 1500frs($3USD) and my house rent 4500frs($9USD). At the beginning of every term, I received 6000frs from my parents ($12USD). 4500frs(9USD) will be given to my land lord, 500frs for my sweet business and 1000frs to by kerosene, salt, oil and other things that I needed for cooking. I was using a kerosene lamp instead of electricity. My father always told me to stay at my level and not compare myself with the rich.
At the end of each academic year, I had a scholarship of 10000frs from the school to which my father would add 7000frs for my tuition for the next academic year. I usually worked very hard to get the scholarship as
it was the only guarantee to pay 17000frs($34US) next academic year. It was difficult for my parents to raise that amount in a year from their peasant farming.
I finally had my Ordinary Level Certificate in 2006 and then somebody attacked me where I was living and my father suspected it could be one of my uncles. My death was a guarantee for them to kill my father and own his land. My parents decided to send me to a different town far away from Ndop and Bangolan.
We went for admission in CCAST Bambili and because of my brilliant results at the General Certificate of Education ordinary level I was admitted to do Biology, Chemistry, Physics and Mathematics at the Advanced level. Here, life became harder. It was difficult for me to get food as my parents were far away and the rents had increased, there was no scholarship and the tuition had also increased. Apart from selling sweets, I started fishing every weekend to get more money. I did not have money to pay practical fees for the science subjects and was always sent out of class. Practical was 40% of the GCE and I made up my mind that without the 40%, I could still pass the GCE. But in 2007, before I wrote the Advanced Level, my mother died. It was just the two of us. My father and I. I succeeded to write the Advanced level and got all my 4 papers despite the 40% reduction in all the subjects.
I wanted to do Medicine but it was the thing of the rich. The tuition was high and I could not pay. I thought of Teachers Training College but could not pay either. Because I had high ambitions for Health, I decided to do Biochemistry in a State University where the tuition was a little cheaper 50000frs(100USD). I went to Yaounde during the holidays, worked for three months and had 30000frs. My father struggled and sent 15000frs so I had 45000frs. I paid admission fees of 10000frs and used 5000frs to certify my documents. The remaining 30000frs, I paid the first instalment of tuition fees of 25000frs and was left with 5000frs.
School started, I was living in a simple building, among armed robbers, rapists and drug addicts. I had to do it to be able to afford go to school. The cheapest room in the student quarters was 20000frs. I had just 5000frs. I was supposed to pay the second and last instalment of 25000frs. This time, I start selling water in school. Each day, I was able to make 500frs profit and by January 2009, I was able to complete my second instalment fee. I struggled the same way in my second but the third year, I was unable to pay. I had to stay back and work for one year and in 2011, I finally had my Bachelor degree.
After getting my Bachelor degree, I had developed more passion for health and research. I immediately enrolled into masters in Biochemistry and before the end of masters 1, my father had an accident. He started having a big stomach, went to the hospital and was referred to the University Teaching Hospital in Yaounde. He went to Yaounde, sold some of his landed properties and I even had to give away my documents, all my school certificates as collateral to get money for his treatment. After two months of hospitalisation, he died and all the debts were on me.
Up to date, my documents are still being held and I usually get just the attestation of lost each time I want to use them. I tried to replicate some but could not get all. I hope someday, I will be able to have all my documents.
I met Mum Lois in January 2017. I had been living an in uncompleted building for more than three years. I was very sick, hungry and homeless. I was also very skinny and could not walk freely. The sickness made me urinate unknowingly. I had given up on myself and had prayed for death several times but death was not coming quickly enough. I conceived the idea to poison myself and die rather than suffering. I started imagining why God created me and why he would allow me to go through what I was going through. It was so bad that I had began to wonder how unfair the Lord had been in his creation. I would sit and imagine why some people have enough to eat, buy flashy cars and live in mansions while others do not have a place to call home.
I had gone to many churches to ask for help but in each of the churches I had been to, they had a criteria of persons they wanted to help and I never fitted into any of them. Some would say, “We don’t help people above 20 years”, others would say, “We only help those in rural areas”, “We do not give food and shelter” and so on…..
