Being depressed and sad in church and how to deal with people

[Socreta93]

I'm not clinically depressed but O have moments where my mood is down, feel very alone ad sometimes don't want to go to church. I have to because my parents will complain plus I work in the A/V and I have the most experience working there so I have responsibility. People are nice, say hi ask me how I'm doing ect... but sometimes I just want to walk past them and be on my own, not have to fake smiling as if everything is alright. The reason being that I know if that older members see me being sad, unfriendly, cold, they will find it weird because "you are Christian and you are in church, you shouldn't be sad". What do i do and how should I handle it? It's worse when their "help" is saying "hey God loves you, be happy, read this Bible verse". Do I believe God loves me, yeah i do. is that a very lazy and simplified way to help someone going through struggles, also yes. Why do you think, things like depression gets downplayed a lot in the church and by Christians? Everyone expects you to be happy all the time and if you aren't, there is something wrong with you.

PSA; If you are in church and see someone who is cold and unfriendly, don't just assume they're a bad person, most likely they are going through something.

 

[Gojira]

I'm not clinically depressed but O have moments where my mood is down, feel very alone ad sometimes don't want to go to church. I have to because my parents will complain plus I work in the A/V and I have the most experience working there so I have responsibility. People are nice, say hi ask me how I'm doing ect... but sometimes I just want to walk past them and be on my own, not have to fake smiling as if everything is alright. The reason being that I know if that older members see me being sad, unfriendly, cold, they will find it weird because "you are Christian and you are in church, you shouldn't be sad". What do i do and how should I handle it? It's worse when their "help" is saying "hey God loves you, be happy, read this Bible verse". Do I believe God loves me, yeah i do. is that a very lazy and simplified way to help someone going through struggles, also yes. Why do you think, things like depression gets downplayed a lot in the church and by Christians? Everyone expects you to be happy all the time and if you aren't, there is something wrong with you.

PSA; If you are in church and see someone who is cold and unfriendly, don't just assume they're a bad person, most likely they are going through something.

Ahh... to quote my Italian barber when I was young... My friend, my friend! I think I get your meaning.

When I'm in a 'mood', I don't hide it. People say "How are you?", and if I feel it, I'll say "crappy". Yes, I think we've all heard the responses you described. I'll engage them, and be honest. Perhaps you should do the same. Don't put on a church face. If they hit you with the trite responses, ask them "Oh, wow, so like, you're never in a bad mood or never depressed, huh? That's terrific!" I'd love to listen to the convo after that point.

 

[Susanna]

People put on a mask. When I grew up my mother told me to always wear a mask so that no one would get to see how poor we were. It’s kind of strange to wear a mask to church. It should be the place where you really shouldn’t have to do that.

I don’t think Jesus would want us to wear masks at all.

 

[Lynx]

I'm not clinically depressed but O have moments where my mood is down, feel very alone ad sometimes don't want to go to church. I have to because my parents will complain plus I work in the A/V and I have the most experience working there so I have responsibility. People are nice, say hi ask me how I'm doing ect... but sometimes I just want to walk past them and be on my own, not have to fake smiling as if everything is alright. The reason being that I know if that older members see me being sad, unfriendly, cold, they will find it weird because "you are Christian and you are in church, you shouldn't be sad". What do i do and how should I handle it? It's worse when their "help" is saying "hey God loves you, be happy, read this Bible verse". Do I believe God loves me, yeah i do. is that a very lazy and simplified way to help someone going through struggles, also yes. Why do you think, things like depression gets downplayed a lot in the church and by Christians? Everyone expects you to be happy all the time and if you aren't, there is something wrong with you.

PSA; If you are in church and see someone who is cold and unfriendly, don't just assume they're a bad person, most likely they are going through something.

Huh...

Kinda reminds me of people who tell other people "Smile!"

Sometimes I'm tempted to punch them in the stomach and say, "See? Sometimes it's not so easy to smile."

Best to just ignore them. They don't affect your paycheck at w*rk.

 

[MsMediator]

I'm not clinically depressed but O have moments where my mood is down, feel very alone ad sometimes don't want to go to church. I have to because my parents will complain plus I work in the A/V and I have the most experience working there so I have responsibility. People are nice, say hi ask me how I'm doing ect... but sometimes I just want to walk past them and be on my own, not have to fake smiling as if everything is alright. The reason being that I know if that older members see me being sad, unfriendly, cold, they will find it weird because "you are Christian and you are in church, you shouldn't be sad". What do i do and how should I handle it? It's worse when their "help" is saying "hey God loves you, be happy, read this Bible verse". Do I believe God loves me, yeah i do. is that a very lazy and simplified way to help someone going through struggles, also yes. Why do you think, things like depression gets downplayed a lot in the church and by Christians? Everyone expects you to be happy all the time and if you aren't, there is something wrong with you.

PSA; If you are in church and see someone who is cold and unfriendly, don't just assume they're a bad person, most likely they are going through something.

The first step when you are feeling down or depressed, is to first acknowledge and process those feelings. It sounds like you are already doing this already.

If they ask why you are feeling this way, I think you can be honest without going into a lot of detail. Most people are trying to comfort you but do not know how. I do believe, though, in the importance of keeping a few Biblical truths and promises close to your heart during this time.

If someone continues to be flippant about your feelings, I would keep my distance from them even if they are well meaning.

 

[fizzyjoe]

I'm not clinically depressed but O have moments where my mood is down, feel very alone ad sometimes don't want to go to church. I have to because my parents will complain plus I work in the A/V and I have the most experience working there so I have responsibility. People are nice, say hi ask me how I'm doing ect... but sometimes I just want to walk past them and be on my own, not have to fake smiling as if everything is alright. The reason being that I know if that older members see me being sad, unfriendly, cold, they will find it weird because "you are Christian and you are in church, you shouldn't be sad". What do i do and how should I handle it? It's worse when their "help" is saying "hey God loves you, be happy, read this Bible verse". Do I believe God loves me, yeah i do. is that a very lazy and simplified way to help someone going through struggles, also yes. Why do you think, things like depression gets downplayed a lot in the church and by Christians? Everyone expects you to be happy all the time and if you aren't, there is something wrong with you.

PSA; If you are in church and see someone who is cold and unfriendly, don't just assume they're a bad person, most likely they are going through something.

yeah I hear ya, I imagine it's tougher at church feeling this way than at just a job because as much as people may sort of Pretend it doesn't happen alot of judging can happen in churches as you mentioned according to emotions they witness, although sometimes I can understand such times like if a member is acting hostile or unruly, but, just simply being quiet or not quite so responsive and judging it as bad behaviour is probably going overboard, I mean some people simply have a lot on their minds.

and as for the so called Christians being happy all the time thing, people really ought to read the Bible and discover both the people of Israel and later Gentiles/Christians had times of being unhappy, or even coveting that which others had, where as the Happiest of the Christians were those who Suffered for Jesus's sake people today often think of a simple happy and Nice individual when they think of a Christian but, truth is the only Christians that are really happy are those who are Genuine in Emotions, took me a long time to come to grips with mine and have come to realize that God/Jesus doesn't wish for us to be Phony or Half Hearted, be yourself and if eventually they persist to bother you then consider moving on, don't settle if at all possible because it can make you not just depressed but, miserable and potentially become an obstacle in your walk with God/Jesus, I pray things get better for you😀🙏

 

[notmyown]

I'm not clinically depressed but O have moments where my mood is down, feel very alone ad sometimes don't want to go to church. I have to because my parents will complain plus I work in the A/V and I have the most experience working there so I have responsibility. People are nice, say hi ask me how I'm doing ect... but sometimes I just want to walk past them and be on my own, not have to fake smiling as if everything is alright. The reason being that I know if that older members see me being sad, unfriendly, cold, they will find it weird because "you are Christian and you are in church, you shouldn't be sad". What do i do and how should I handle it? It's worse when their "help" is saying "hey God loves you, be happy, read this Bible verse". Do I believe God loves me, yeah i do. is that a very lazy and simplified way to help someone going through struggles, also yes. Why do you think, things like depression gets downplayed a lot in the church and by Christians? Everyone expects you to be happy all the time and if you aren't, there is something wrong with you.

PSA; If you are in church and see someone who is cold and unfriendly, don't just assume they're a bad person, most likely they are going through something.

i know you don't really respond to people who talk to you here, but here's a thought--

how would you like folks to treat you at church? what things could they say or do that would make you feel they genuinely care? if you answered here, it would benefit those of us who are reading. if you just answer to yourself (which is perfectly fine), it will benefit you when you run into someone suffering the same kind of thing in your own life.

may the Lord bless you, child.

 

[notmyown]

The first step when you are feeling down or depressed, is to first acknowledge and process those feelings. It sounds like you are already doing this already.

If they ask why you are feeling this way, I think you can be honest without going into a lot of detail. Most people are trying to comfort you but do not know how. I do believe, though, in the importance of keeping a few Biblical truths and promises close to your heart during this time.

If someone continues to be flippant about your feelings, I would keep my distance from them even if they are well meaning.

based on my own experience in church, people are probably not being flippant; most likely they hardly know one another and have no clue what to do. shouldn't happen, yet it does.