Do not men have the same "license?"
Why focus on women alone concerning divorce?
Is being "unequally yoked" a reasonable excuse for a woman to leave her husband?
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Do not men have the same "license?"
Why focus on women alone concerning divorce?
Statistically, women tend to initiate divorce. And in my experience, they usually have an army of "empath" morons behind them all like "Yeah! You're right about everything! You should leave that man!!!" When they've never heard the guys side of the story or even met him for that matter.
I'd say similar rules apply, although presumably, one may expect a higher standard from a spouse than an enemy who assaults, or even a wayward brother.
However, if we are to love even our enemies, how much more the members of our own families?
(I'm not saying this is easy or that I'm a role model for loving my enemies or even wayward brothers, as I'm not - but I did quote what I believe are valid scriptures on the matter).
Also note what the disciples say on this.
Matthew 19:7-11
They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?
He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry.
But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given.
No one should stay in an abusive relationship. Ever. You can walk away and still forgive. And your first verse is taken out of context.
So do you believe in turning the other cheek to your enemies? At least in theory? And what does that mean? And surely if we are to treat our enemies in a given fashion, it follows that we treat our families to at least that same level? Jesus didn't say to love our enemies and hate our friends.
Sometimes I swear people aren't reading posts. I said, you can walk away but still forgive the person. That doesn't mean you make them part of your life and it certainly doesn't mean staying in an abusive relationship.
You said the verse I quoted was taken out of context, which didn't follow with you saying that "you can walk away but still forgive the person". But if the verse I quoted was in context and the quoted text was what you meant, then I understand your position.
Let's put it this way. My husband is 6'4, 220, probably a little less since he told me to stop baking he was gaining too much weight. So take 10 or so pounds off. If I hit him and he turns the other cheek what will happen. Not much. I'm 5ft nothing and considerably less than 220. Now if he turns around and hits me, I'm not going to be able to get up, let alone turn a cheek. So there is no way I could stay if my spouse was abusive. Although he has to sleep sometime and a marble rolling pin can come in pretty handy, I digress, abuse in a marriage is dangerous. And even more so if children are involved. No one should ever be told to stay in an abusive marriage.
Moses, you're taking that verse out of context. Read the verse before it:
Matthew 5:38 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ 39 But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.
So in light of the other verse, this is just telling you not to retaliate the way ungodly people do, because that would just escalate the situation. Turning the other cheek oftentimes calms down the situation.
You also have to look at how Jesus handled hostility. What did He do during His entire 3 years of ministry before being crucified? He would walk away from any hostility.
It was only when it was time for Him to be arrested and crucified did He submit to the abuse. So there will come a time when we will be persecuted and killed, but it should be for God's glory and not to just feed an evil person's sin.
This is why we all need to walk closely with the Lord so that we can know the differences and protect or strengthen ourselves accordingly in the Lord.
In my experience, the women initiate the divorce because the man the are married to are abusive. Drunks, adulterers, physical or mental abusers. So, yeah, I would tell them to get the heck outta there before that guy kills you,
Now, women can be the "bad guy" also. However, statistics on City, State, and National levels reveal that men are the greater number concerning abuse, and adultery
.Every 9 seconds in the US a woman is assaulted or beaten.
(here)
Statistics About Domestic Violence 2022 - Good Housekeeping
Okay, so without looking like I'm setting a trap, I would simply point out that marriage counseling will not save the unsaved spouse. Saying that a marriage needs counselling sessions simply because one person is a non-believer , would, in my opinion, set a dangerous precedent.
You are not alone in this thought, however. Many preachers espouse the idea that a marriage isn't whole until the other spouse is saved. This gives the greenlight for many young Christian women to pick up and leave due to "righteous conviction."
The church typically will side with the wife stating, "We feel your pain." After all he must of done something horrible to her since he's a non-believer.
But unfornately, the most horrible thing done here was to the children by separating them from their father. And in most cases, he will be traded in for a new one.
The children come away with at least these three assumtions when they get older:
1. Christianity is a farce since no one stays together anyway
2. According to the Bible, my mom is an adulterer and a hypocrite
3. Marriage stinks, so it's best just to live together
"Mate-poaching." I'm not sure I'm familiar with that term. It sounds horrible. But how is the church instigating divorce, from your experience?
If it doesn't need further discussion, then why are there so many divorces within the church? And please don't give me the standard "they-weren't-really-saved" argument.
There may be several reasons for those divorces, but the primary reason is that the pastors/elders and teachers in the churches are not advising young people to make sure that before they make any marriage commitment they both sit down with a couple of pastors/elders and talk about marriage as presented in Scripture.
In fact all Statements of Faith should include the necessity of spiritual marriage counseling for all church members planning a marriage. This is generally absent. It should include the fact that Christ is the divine Bridegroom and the Church is the Bride of Christ. This puts a more serious light on human Christian marriage.
But when they sit down with the pastors/elders that would also be the time to determine the spiritual condition of both. If one is not saved, then that should be brought up and the Gospel presented. If neither of them is saved then that should be the priority over marriage. And the elders should be totally honest and totally scriptural. They should make it crystal clear that the marriage is permanent until the decease of one partner, and that divorce to totally unacceptable to God. So is divorce and remarriage.
"In the 20 years from 1995–2015, the estimated rates of violent intimate partner victimization among women and men decreased from 15.5 and 2.8, respectively, to 5.4 per 1,000 women and 0.5 per 1,000 men." (This is from the CDC report you cited).
Neverthless, I will admit it is a horrendous ordeal, and I agree that any spouse (man or woman) should separate themselves from the abuser, at least temporarily. But since you are going from experience, how many women in your church have pesented as victims of abuse, in all honesty?
You don't have to answer since I already know it's right around nill. What I'm talking about here is adding one more excuse to the arsenal of many that a young women hears everyday from secular media as to why she should leave her husband.
