What are your most important qualities in a mate?
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princessbella
Guest
Honesty, trust, integrity, fun, physical attraction , charm and confidence are fantastic but if the person doesnt have the first three then for me you could end up getting a broken heart, charachter to me is esential
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NodMyHeadLikeYeah
Guest
W
Whyllow
Guest
Most of those qualities are good, but you forgot one:
Having a strong relationship with the Lord. Without that, none of those would really matter.
Having a strong relationship with the Lord. Without that, none of those would really matter.
D
dancingfortheLord
Guest
Aside from being God-loving and God-fearing christian, someone who can pick you up @ the mall, compliment you if you made an effort to be real pretty (or dont make effort at all) and love you through all the chaotic madness. Is that so much to ask? 
K
Kooper
Guest
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babarainbowsheep
Guest
Its the "feel" of soul and who and all they are on a deeper level.How beautifully one is 2getherin love.
I think humour is important.If one can make ones partner laugh , laugh 2gether or use laughter to get through difficult times but used with compassion and care.
I also think understanding and compassion, care are important.
Do also want to share religion and be "leveled" with eachother.
Honesty, good communications
agree with this one also; And, the old standbys--faithfulness, loyalty, commitment, openness (doesn't keep secrets), and a willingness to pray together about ANYTHING--certainly have to be there as well.
Could probably list some other qualities.But i know who I love and its who and all they are, their soul...
Their behaviours as a person they have for whatever reasons can be discussed through soulful communications , prayers , understanding etc.
I think humour is important.If one can make ones partner laugh , laugh 2gether or use laughter to get through difficult times but used with compassion and care.
I also think understanding and compassion, care are important.
Do also want to share religion and be "leveled" with eachother.
Honesty, good communications
agree with this one also; And, the old standbys--faithfulness, loyalty, commitment, openness (doesn't keep secrets), and a willingness to pray together about ANYTHING--certainly have to be there as well.
Could probably list some other qualities.But i know who I love and its who and all they are, their soul...
Their behaviours as a person they have for whatever reasons can be discussed through soulful communications , prayers , understanding etc.
G
GreenNnice
Guest
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My most important quality I pray for is for her to stay with the marriage no matter what, because, assumming we are both after God's best for us, then anything short of infidelity or death of one of us, we should not let anyone tear us apart and not even ourselves tearing us apart is included. God WILL get us through.
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babarainbowsheep
Guest
There are many reasons for divorse.
It can be extreme abuse and misery and nothing , nothing helps....
It can be many different reaons why one leaves.
I think it should not be taken lightly and easily.
Lucifer was not always a devil.
Things change...
Jealousy and going against God..
But turn to God through it all, always and do ones best to be good and do ones best.
Qualities in my mate are many.I know he is conciderate and always has been
He cares, understands, loves and is so holy to me.
He is so funny.
He is mature and wise
He is so much and many things but its his soul, holy spirit and whole being I love more than I can say.
We share religion and faith and seek help, guidance and prayer and holy union with this.
Jesus our Lord we are united with the
It can be extreme abuse and misery and nothing , nothing helps....
It can be many different reaons why one leaves.
I think it should not be taken lightly and easily.
Lucifer was not always a devil.
Things change...
Jealousy and going against God..
But turn to God through it all, always and do ones best to be good and do ones best.
Qualities in my mate are many.I know he is conciderate and always has been
He cares, understands, loves and is so holy to me.
He is so funny.
He is mature and wise
He is so much and many things but its his soul, holy spirit and whole being I love more than I can say.
We share religion and faith and seek help, guidance and prayer and holy union with this.
Jesus our Lord we are united with the
G
GreenNnice
Guest
_________There are many reasons for divorse.
It can be extreme abuse and misery and nothing , nothing helps....
It can be many different reaons why one leaves.
I think it should not be taken lightly and easily.
Lucifer was not always a devil.
Things change...
Jealousy and going against God..
But turn to God through it all, always and do ones best to be good and do ones best.
Qualities in my mate are many.I know he is conciderate and always has been
He cares, understands, loves and is so holy to me.
He is so funny.
He is mature and wise
He is so much and many things but its his soul, holy spirit and whole being I love more than I can say.
We share religion and faith and seek help, guidance and prayer and holy union with this.
Jesus our Lord we are united with the
True, babarrainbow, I agree. There are many reasons for divorce but I believe in scripture only two are mentioned-infidelity and death of spouse. I agree that abuse is HUGE ! The Lord leads. Their must however be a WAY out from that a little easier than unfaithfulness, or, of course, death, as God works many miracles between those that seek Him and then have the faith to follow His vision to change their life dramatically better. And, NO, I am not saying to stay in an abusive relationship, I am saying that the Lord leads us through things that we think there are no way out and sometimes He leads our spouses to realize the error of their ways through your FAITH in Him.
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One other quality that I would have that is not listed is being content. Paul learned how important that is and in a marriage I see that as a quintessential quality to success. Of course, it's being content with what God has planned for your life. Being open is another word for content, that is, open to change, because I think in order to be content you have to be open to change.
Phillipians 4:12 , here is Paul speaking of contentedness right before my class verse which should give you the strength to do every thing He wants you to do
I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. (NASB bible)
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Living for God is that 'secret .'
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I don't think I could select a single one as highest priority from that list.
Check this out guys and gals.
I used to have a long laundry list of qualities I was looking for, and ideally, everyone wants to find mr or mrs perfect.
Then I caught a reality check...
No one but Christ is perfect, nor without His help, is anyone even good. ("for God alone is good")
So after several failed relationships, the mistakes before and after them, and a few hard learned lessons, I've found a shorter and much better list.
1. Must love God and be trying to love Him more than anything else.
2. Must be ordained by God to be my ( and I, her) life partner.
3. Must love more than any other man.
Alright. Sound simple? You might be surprised to find that it's really quite difficult, despite its simplicity.
That's the 'engine', so to speak. Everything else falls under 'luxury'.
^_~
Check this out guys and gals.
I used to have a long laundry list of qualities I was looking for, and ideally, everyone wants to find mr or mrs perfect.
Then I caught a reality check...
No one but Christ is perfect, nor without His help, is anyone even good. ("for God alone is good")
So after several failed relationships, the mistakes before and after them, and a few hard learned lessons, I've found a shorter and much better list.
1. Must love God and be trying to love Him more than anything else.
2. Must be ordained by God to be my ( and I, her) life partner.
3. Must love more than any other man.
Alright. Sound simple? You might be surprised to find that it's really quite difficult, despite its simplicity.
That's the 'engine', so to speak. Everything else falls under 'luxury'.
^_~
Sorry to double post, but it wouldn't let me edit for some reason.
Anyway, I need to make a change.
**3. Must love me, just for me, and more than any other person.
...is what I meant to say.
Anyway, I need to make a change.
**3. Must love me, just for me, and more than any other person.
...is what I meant to say.
B
babarainbowsheep
Guest
I know many who have divorsed for different reasons and feel happy about that decision as they did not do it lightly but conciously and after prayer and many attempts and years of misery they are now happy.
One was a couple and they were both married previously with children.They met eachother and she got ba stroke and half her body is paralysed but he stays with her and they are religious and love eachother dearly and do not regret divrosing previous marruage for the reasons they did.They go to church together and have a lot of love and humour and joy which they did not have in previous marrriages.
Another was a bad divorse as the woman he divorsed avtually even yrs after the divorse became obsessed with his new partner and destroying her and did eeeeverything to hurt her.She had position of power in community and politics she missused to incite hate and bully and exclude this new partner of his he was engaged to.She actualy did illegal things that woould put you to jail a very very long time had she been sentenced and evidence , witnesses etc.This fiancee was truly damaged and hurt by the behaviours and all malicious done to her in hate and hr wanting her x husband back.
he said she had nothing to give him anymore after her behaviours and she hated and did bad everyday and he could not beleive the woman he once married was capable of such evil to someone who had done nothing to her not even in self defence, he was not happy.
They had to get a restrainingorder actually because she did so much destruktion and harm and his fiancee was actually followed and stalked etc.Death threates and the list goes on.
I dont think anyone enters a marriage wanting to divorse but sometimes things do change, so much that so must the marriage.
I would not want my husband to leave me either.
But if he ever did I would never, nerver , ever behave the way that this woman did and for that I am ever so proud.
I already know who I want in a partner in marriage and holy union and it truly is about who and all he is.
We are beautiful 2gether and happy 2gether and understanding and .......
I wish us all the best in our love life.
One was a couple and they were both married previously with children.They met eachother and she got ba stroke and half her body is paralysed but he stays with her and they are religious and love eachother dearly and do not regret divrosing previous marruage for the reasons they did.They go to church together and have a lot of love and humour and joy which they did not have in previous marrriages.
Another was a bad divorse as the woman he divorsed avtually even yrs after the divorse became obsessed with his new partner and destroying her and did eeeeverything to hurt her.She had position of power in community and politics she missused to incite hate and bully and exclude this new partner of his he was engaged to.She actualy did illegal things that woould put you to jail a very very long time had she been sentenced and evidence , witnesses etc.This fiancee was truly damaged and hurt by the behaviours and all malicious done to her in hate and hr wanting her x husband back.
he said she had nothing to give him anymore after her behaviours and she hated and did bad everyday and he could not beleive the woman he once married was capable of such evil to someone who had done nothing to her not even in self defence, he was not happy.
They had to get a restrainingorder actually because she did so much destruktion and harm and his fiancee was actually followed and stalked etc.Death threates and the list goes on.
I dont think anyone enters a marriage wanting to divorse but sometimes things do change, so much that so must the marriage.
I would not want my husband to leave me either.
But if he ever did I would never, nerver , ever behave the way that this woman did and for that I am ever so proud.
I already know who I want in a partner in marriage and holy union and it truly is about who and all he is.
We are beautiful 2gether and happy 2gether and understanding and .......
I wish us all the best in our love life.
B
babarainbowsheep
Guest
I actually was with my partner for over 8 years and we were engaged. he was my best friend and my life, my everything.
He left me for my best friend and got engaged to her and my father who always liked her and who is best friends with their family payed for their honey moon (he has lots of money and things they can lend like boats etc)and said congratulations.
I was devistated. heartbroken.
Thought I would die.
I was in pure agony not just for days but for what felt like eternity.
I had noone to turn to but Jesus, God.
i mourned in church and at home.
I stopped all contact with both of them because they also were not nice to me, mainly her.
I had noother friends and other things happened then also.
Other things you would be shocked to know but that I can not write here.
I wanted to break contact with father but could not for various reasons.
I know how agonising it can be but I did not do evil to them although they did evil to me.
I mourned and went to church.
I had no friends noone and other things going on thats are horrid and I will not write of here.
I had a dog and she was all I had (besides God)
One should still choose not to do evil and eeeverything to conciously hurt someone.
If i had of done evil , would he want me more or want me back?
And if he wanted me back cause I did evil to her what kindof man would he be?
I would not want to be like that or want a man who wants someone like that.
Close my eyes , breath, feel all the spirits and souls and feel my home come to me, my John... God will
Bow down in deepest prayer through all and surrender and love you and...
best wishes to us all
and may we hold ourselves higher than to do things we ........mmm
He left me for my best friend and got engaged to her and my father who always liked her and who is best friends with their family payed for their honey moon (he has lots of money and things they can lend like boats etc)and said congratulations.
I was devistated. heartbroken.
Thought I would die.
I was in pure agony not just for days but for what felt like eternity.
I had noone to turn to but Jesus, God.
i mourned in church and at home.
I stopped all contact with both of them because they also were not nice to me, mainly her.
I had noother friends and other things happened then also.
Other things you would be shocked to know but that I can not write here.
I wanted to break contact with father but could not for various reasons.
I know how agonising it can be but I did not do evil to them although they did evil to me.
I mourned and went to church.
I had no friends noone and other things going on thats are horrid and I will not write of here.
I had a dog and she was all I had (besides God)
One should still choose not to do evil and eeeverything to conciously hurt someone.
If i had of done evil , would he want me more or want me back?
And if he wanted me back cause I did evil to her what kindof man would he be?
I would not want to be like that or want a man who wants someone like that.
Close my eyes , breath, feel all the spirits and souls and feel my home come to me, my John... God will
Bow down in deepest prayer through all and surrender and love you and...
best wishes to us all
and may we hold ourselves higher than to do things we ........mmm
I'm sorry all that happened to you, Victoria. Sometimes I wonder why God lets things like that happen. I guess we'll know someday. God bless.
R
rainacorn
Guest
These are some pretty superficial options.
When you're looking for a mate, you're looking for someone you will spend the rest of your life with. You're not a finished product and neither are they. You are going to build a life together.
Many of the things on this list are temporary, most quite relative to age and life experience. Maybe when you meet someone, they love to go out. But once you're in a serious relationship with them, they prefer to stay at home. Maybe they had a bad past but put a lot of time and energy into cleaning it all up. Maybe they had a horrible fashion sense, but as they got older and their life (and financial situation) changed, so did their sense of style. Maybe they had a bad job, but got promoted or found something better.
Would any of that mean they aren't who they said they are?
Growing together means things about both of you will change over time. If you're growing together in the Lord, then you can be sure all of those changes will be positive.
While 'selecting someone to date' is all hindsight for me, I think the quality I looked for most was POTENTIAL. Someone who was equipped to grow with me and change with me and bring something good into my life... something more than I could do on my own. I didn't need or want a carbon copy of myself, I wanted a partner.
Shortly after I started dating my now husband, he was laid off from his job. He was out of work for 3 months. He even suggested that we break up until he is back on his feet. I wasn't having that nonsense. We stayed together, he found a new job. Later, I found a new job too. We are not where we were when we started dating. We are not even the same people that we were. Why? Because we both used to be single people and now we're married people. It changes everything.
You can't always predict how being in a relationship with you will change someone. You can't always predict how you will change by being with them. You have no clue how both of you will change as you start a life together in the Lord. Look for someone who has potential, not someone who has it all.
When you're looking for a mate, you're looking for someone you will spend the rest of your life with. You're not a finished product and neither are they. You are going to build a life together.
Many of the things on this list are temporary, most quite relative to age and life experience. Maybe when you meet someone, they love to go out. But once you're in a serious relationship with them, they prefer to stay at home. Maybe they had a bad past but put a lot of time and energy into cleaning it all up. Maybe they had a horrible fashion sense, but as they got older and their life (and financial situation) changed, so did their sense of style. Maybe they had a bad job, but got promoted or found something better.
Would any of that mean they aren't who they said they are?
Growing together means things about both of you will change over time. If you're growing together in the Lord, then you can be sure all of those changes will be positive.
While 'selecting someone to date' is all hindsight for me, I think the quality I looked for most was POTENTIAL. Someone who was equipped to grow with me and change with me and bring something good into my life... something more than I could do on my own. I didn't need or want a carbon copy of myself, I wanted a partner.
Shortly after I started dating my now husband, he was laid off from his job. He was out of work for 3 months. He even suggested that we break up until he is back on his feet. I wasn't having that nonsense. We stayed together, he found a new job. Later, I found a new job too. We are not where we were when we started dating. We are not even the same people that we were. Why? Because we both used to be single people and now we're married people. It changes everything.
You can't always predict how being in a relationship with you will change someone. You can't always predict how you will change by being with them. You have no clue how both of you will change as you start a life together in the Lord. Look for someone who has potential, not someone who has it all.
G
GreenNnice
Guest
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Can't stress this enough, babarrainbow....
God interferes if you are right with Him and you're choosing a partner not right with you nor right for you.
The Lord leads.
B
babarainbowsheep
Guest
If i had of done evil , would he want me more or want me back?
And if he wanted me back cause I did evil to her what kindof man would he be?
I would not want to be like that or want a man who wants someone like that.
If I chose to do evil on her and conciously hurt her and do eeeeeverything to hurt her even criminal things and seriously hurting and damaging her, spreading lies, false rumours, inciting hate, death threates, making her look bad even if there was a deeper story behind,setting her up etc etc
I would not have turned to God but to satan regardless what I called it.
Its better choose not to hate and do evil to conciously hurt someone regardless.
You are right.
I met my John now and I learnt from past the experience and betrayals Ive had.
I turned to Jesus and felt close to jesus and understood by Jesus and noone but jesus at that time.
It deepened my faith in God.
I agree with many saying how one can grow 2gether and encourage eachother to be better.
Humour, understanding...the list goes on.
Theres some beautiful qualities that are admirable.
And if he wanted me back cause I did evil to her what kindof man would he be?
I would not want to be like that or want a man who wants someone like that.
If I chose to do evil on her and conciously hurt her and do eeeeeverything to hurt her even criminal things and seriously hurting and damaging her, spreading lies, false rumours, inciting hate, death threates, making her look bad even if there was a deeper story behind,setting her up etc etc
I would not have turned to God but to satan regardless what I called it.
Its better choose not to hate and do evil to conciously hurt someone regardless.
You are right.
I met my John now and I learnt from past the experience and betrayals Ive had.
I turned to Jesus and felt close to jesus and understood by Jesus and noone but jesus at that time.
It deepened my faith in God.
I agree with many saying how one can grow 2gether and encourage eachother to be better.
Humour, understanding...the list goes on.
Theres some beautiful qualities that are admirable.