Extremely frustrated with God right now - faith crisis

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Gemmy

Gemmy

Member
#1
Apr 30, 2014
188
100
43
#1
It's been a very long while since I've posted on this forum. I can say I go to church regularly now and have made a few new friends, I am working full time, and in school. I also have an apartment.
However, I am majorly unhappy still. Still living paycheck to paycheck, still dealing with anxiety and panic attacks, I'm still single, and still watching everyone around me get blessed. I still genuinely believe God just either doesn't like me as much as everyone else or His plan for my life really just sucks.

Right after I started wanting to be in the faith more, I started having issues at my old job. My cousin's child-s father passed away abruptly, which still bothers me to this day, and it really bothered me watching her and her kids suffer. He didn't have any health problems or anything. I suffered financially most of the year last year. I met a guy I really liked, and it fell through the cracks, like every other relationship I've seemingly had. I've grown increasingly tired of hearing about innocent people dying or being hurt meanwhile, jerks are living life just fine. I've been there for people who just left me in the dirt.

I've prayed and asked for God's will for my life, pray or talk to him in some form literally every day, prayed for others, stopped having sex, tried trusting Him, you name it...just to keep tasting DIRT. Meanwhile, someone else prays and BAM, things are great for them. I am at a point where I genuinely am starting to dislike Him as a whole. I only trust Him to a fault at this point because I feel like all He's done is let me down. My family has been on a couple of vacations, but I've missed them all because I can only afford to send my daughter. I am very lonely. What was His point of creating me?? I keep hearing people say He has good plans for my life. I've been hearing this for years and I'm 31 now. I'm just sick and tired of being sick and tired and sick of hearing the same things but not seeing anything different, no matter how hard I try.
 
Nicolas

Nicolas

New member
#3
Jul 23, 2024
16
10
3
#3
Gemmy said:
It's been a very long while since I've posted on this forum. I can say I go to church regularly now and have made a few new friends, I am working full time, and in school. I also have an apartment.
However, I am majorly unhappy still. Still living paycheck to paycheck, still dealing with anxiety and panic attacks, I'm still single, and still watching everyone around me get blessed. I still genuinely believe God just either doesn't like me as much as everyone else or His plan for my life really just sucks.

Right after I started wanting to be in the faith more, I started having issues at my old job. My cousin's child-s father passed away abruptly, which still bothers me to this day, and it really bothered me watching her and her kids suffer. He didn't have any health problems or anything. I suffered financially most of the year last year. I met a guy I really liked, and it fell through the cracks, like every other relationship I've seemingly had. I've grown increasingly tired of hearing about innocent people dying or being hurt meanwhile, jerks are living life just fine. I've been there for people who just left me in the dirt.

I've prayed and asked for God's will for my life, pray or talk to him in some form literally every day, prayed for others, stopped having sex, tried trusting Him, you name it...just to keep tasting DIRT. Meanwhile, someone else prays and BAM, things are great for them. I am at a point where I genuinely am starting to dislike Him as a whole. I only trust Him to a fault at this point because I feel like all He's done is let me down. My family has been on a couple of vacations, but I've missed them all because I can only afford to send my daughter. I am very lonely. What was His point of creating me?? I keep hearing people say He has good plans for my life. I've been hearing this for years and I'm 31 now. I'm just sick and tired of being sick and tired and sick of hearing the same things but not seeing anything different, no matter how hard I try.
Click to expand...
The only thing I can say is that I am almost in the same situation as you and I am 100% sure that we are not the only ones. I have been out of work for 3 years. My parents died one in 2021 and my mother in 2022, even my pets died one after the other since 2021. I am 43 years old and I have nothing apart from my brothers who have given me their support. I, like you, sometimes lose faith and wonder if God really wants something with me. To make things worse, my neighbor, who was my friend, we are no longer one, went to Norway very happy of the life, leaving his 80 year old mother here, alone with no one to take care of her, because he met a woman there online, and the last thing he did was say that my mom was a b!tc#. He claims to be a Christian, but he never helped his mother in anything, he treated her badly, every time he spoke to her it was to insult her and he have done wort things. All his friends abandoned him because he went crazy, reading nonsense from the book of Enoch and so on, he was full of frustrations and did not know how to handle them well. I was the only friend he had left but according to him I was not a good friend, no one was a good friend to him, that´s what he said. Now after everything he has said and done and what in my opinion, God has blessed him more than he has blessed me, I have been left having to be aware of his mother and help her in everything that I can because she is already an elderly lady. I do it willingly because I appreciate her, although sometimes she gets intense. Well, after all this story that I have told you, what I wanted to tell you was that sometimes it fills me with frustration and discouragement because deep inside I think that I treated my parents well, even though my dad was not the best father in the world, I have always been willing to help people in whatever I can, I am not perfect but I try to live a life that pleases God and yet, like you, I see that those who prosper are those who do the opposite.

Sometimes I don't know what I think about that preaches about trials and valleys and all those things, I don't want to say that they aren't true but sometimes they seem to have no end. The only thing that sometimes comforts me is remembering that each and every important person in the Bible went through difficulties before finding a better life. From Abraham and Joseph (a bunch of year imprisoned), Moses, even David (running away from Saul for like 10 years), the prophets and apostles (Those never had a good life), I read Psalm 73 or 42 and that's it. And well, I resign myself to my current situation. Maybe God will bring something good out of this situation, I continue to trust that.

Sorry for my English, if you can't understand it well or there are some spelling errors, it is not my native language.
 
HealthAndHappiness

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
#5
Jul 7, 2022
9,470
3,888
113
Almost Heaven West Virginia
#5
Gemmy said:
It's been a very long while since I've posted on this forum. I can say I go to church regularly now and have made a few new friends, I am working full time, and in school. I also have an apartment.
However, I am majorly unhappy still. Still living paycheck to paycheck, still dealing with anxiety and panic attacks, I'm still single, and still watching everyone around me get blessed. I still genuinely believe God just either doesn't like me as much as everyone else or His plan for my life really just sucks.

Right after I started wanting to be in the faith more, I started having issues at my old job. My cousin's child-s father passed away abruptly, which still bothers me to this day, and it really bothered me watching her and her kids suffer. He didn't have any health problems or anything. I suffered financially most of the year last year. I met a guy I really liked, and it fell through the cracks, like every other relationship I've seemingly had. I've grown increasingly tired of hearing about innocent people dying or being hurt meanwhile, jerks are living life just fine. I've been there for people who just left me in the dirt.

I've prayed and asked for God's will for my life, pray or talk to him in some form literally every day, prayed for others, stopped having sex, tried trusting Him, you name it...just to keep tasting DIRT. Meanwhile, someone else prays and BAM, things are great for them. I am at a point where I genuinely am starting to dislike Him as a whole. I only trust Him to a fault at this point because I feel like all He's done is let me down. My family has been on a couple of vacations, but I've missed them all because I can only afford to send my daughter. I am very lonely. What was His point of creating me?? I keep hearing people say He has good plans for my life. I've been hearing this for years and I'm 31 now. I'm just sick and tired of being sick and tired and sick of hearing the same things but not seeing anything different, no matter how hard I try.
Click to expand...

I'm sorry you are suffering so much.
I am also depressed because I lost my family.
Regardless of loss of career, dreams, family, money, and health issues, God is my only hope. Jesus is a Friend that sticks closer than a brother. The Holy Spirit comforts me. My Father has provided up until now, so I have reasons to trust Him for tomorrow.
That doesn't diminish what you and I are going through. I just have to stay in His Word to keep perspective from His point of view or lose all hope in my own limited understanding.

You still have your precious child whom you love very much and I'm sure she does you. God still loves you too. She is a gift to you.
Here's a short message about His love that a caring person shared with me in person. It's made the world of difference.

The Love of God
 
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