Self Confidence

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ForgivenAndRedeemed

ForgivenAndRedeemed

New member
#1
Jun 7, 2023
22
11
3
#1
I’m a 32-year old man. I haven’t been in a relationship in over 8 years. I still look ok, but I don’t look as good as I did 8 years ago. I have less hair, and I have a few wrinkles. I’m not actually interested in any females right now, but if I were, I feel like my physical appearance would hinder me from initiating any kind of relationship because I feel less confident based on my appearance. Does anyone else feel like physical appearance is a barrier to initiating a relationship?
 
J

jacko

Active member
#2
Sep 2, 2024
227
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#2
Dude... go work out and lift weights. Confidence is key... and yes dating woman is a skill which requires confidence.
Get in shape.
 
J

jacko

Active member
#4
Sep 2, 2024
227
123
43
#4
Further, your body is a temple.. take care of that temple! Mind, body, soul.... They work together.
 
CarriePie

CarriePie

Well-known member
#7
Jan 7, 2024
1,142
688
113
Oklahoma
#7
I'm a female and I'm older than you, but I feel ya'. I probably don't understand in exactly the same way, since I'm a woman, but I feel the same way. I was actually in a relationship a year ago, and appearance came up. So, I guess I really feel like I understand (in my own way).
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#8
Aug 13, 2014
26,702
8,941
113
#8
ForgivenAndRedeemed said:
I’m a 32-year old man. I haven’t been in a relationship in over 8 years. I still look ok, but I don’t look as good as I did 8 years ago. I have less hair, and I have a few wrinkles. I’m not actually interested in any females right now, but if I were, I feel like my physical appearance would hinder me from initiating any kind of relationship because I feel less confident based on my appearance. Does anyone else feel like physical appearance is a barrier to initiating a relationship?
Click to expand...
Granted there are a few things about physical appearance that can be red flags. Sometimes there are warning signs you should pay attention to.

But aside from that, and in general, if a girl rejects you because of physical appearance that is a good thing. You don't want that girl anyway.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#9
Aug 13, 2014
26,702
8,941
113
#9
Also, howdy and welcome to the Forum.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#11
Aug 13, 2014
26,702
8,941
113
#11
ForgivenAndRedeemed said:
I’ve been here. I just don’t talk much. 😏
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Oh...

Well you showed up as a new member, so...

But that doesn't change until you have made a certain number of posts, so technically you could be here for years and still register as a new member.

Okay then, welcome back.
 
Subhumanoidal

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
#13
Sep 17, 2018
3,977
3,073
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#13
ForgivenAndRedeemed said:
I’m a 32-year old man. I haven’t been in a relationship in over 8 years. I still look ok, but I don’t look as good as I did 8 years ago. I have less hair, and I have a few wrinkles. I’m not actually interested in any females right now, but if I were, I feel like my physical appearance would hinder me from initiating any kind of relationship because I feel less confident based on my appearance. Does anyone else feel like physical appearance is a barrier to initiating a relationship?
Click to expand...
Anyone that doesn't find you attractive, so what? If they found you attractive 8 years ago they wouldn't want to be with you now, anyways. So how much are you really missing out on?
And women have different tastes in men and each one can value different things. If a woman is shallow enough to only care about your looks do you really want her?
I wouldn't consider myself an attractive guy to women, including how I dress haha. But I've had my share of girlfriends that didn't date me for my looks, but more for who I am. That's what you want too.

I'm not saying looks never matter at all, but if someone looks at you and they don't like what they see, oh well. Guarantee you do the same with women. I certainly do. It goes both ways.
 
Mem

Mem

Senior Member
#14
Sep 23, 2014
6,994
2,041
113
#14
ForgivenAndRedeemed said:
Does anyone else feel like physical appearance is a barrier to initiating a relationship?
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It's all in the eyes... and autocomplete brought up "of the beholder" but that's only because that is the usual response, given there is some truth to it but not that's not the whole truth. What other beholding is what you begiving, I mean. If you want a shallow connection, trimming up the rough edges is the best you can do without much trouble, but that'll last only as long as you can keep up appearances, example most Hollywood get togethers. But if you're looking for a deeper connection, open up the windows to your soul. And, yes, you do need to have a fair amount of confidence to do that, for sure, but that's by design. It's there, you just have to exercise it.
 
TabinRivCA

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
#15
Oct 23, 2018
12,900
10,462
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#15
ForgivenAndRedeemed said:
I’m a 32-year old man. I haven’t been in a relationship in over 8 years. I still look ok, but I don’t look as good as I did 8 years ago. I have less hair, and I have a few wrinkles. I’m not actually interested in any females right now, but if I were, I feel like my physical appearance would hinder me from initiating any kind of relationship because I feel less confident based on my appearance. Does anyone else feel like physical appearance is a barrier to initiating a relationship?
Click to expand...
Not at all. As far as balding goes all these men are considered attractive, Stan Tucci, Ben Kingsley, Billy Joel, and on & on. How someone sees themselves is what makes or breaks someone's appeal. I see men and women who may not rate as beautiful, but they are confident and secure in who they are and that is attractive. I'm sure Kate Middleton thinks her hubby Prince William is handsome and he carries himself well. If you look at who famous actors/actresses are married to it's usually not a 'hot' number but a down to earth type. We shouldn't go by fleshly standards anyway but Holy Spirit approved persons. Yes, there's hope, lol, be confident, 'as a man thinks in is heart so is he' Prov 23:7.
 
ResidentAlien

ResidentAlien

Well-known member
#16
Apr 21, 2021
8,101
3,497
113
#16
ForgivenAndRedeemed said:
I’m a 32-year old man. I haven’t been in a relationship in over 8 years. I still look ok, but I don’t look as good as I did 8 years ago. I have less hair, and I have a few wrinkles. I’m not actually interested in any females right now, but if I were, I feel like my physical appearance would hinder me from initiating any kind of relationship because I feel less confident based on my appearance. Does anyone else feel like physical appearance is a barrier to initiating a relationship?
Click to expand...
Forget about what you looked like 8 years ago; this is now. Concentrate on your good qualities. You don't want a woman who is only after external appearances anyway. A good woman who will be loyal is looking for more than the superficial. You want one who will appreciate you for you. Just look around at all the bald or balding guys who have nice, attractive women on their arms.

I used to know a balding guy who was with a different woman every time I saw him; and they were nice looking women too. He was frail and not that great looking really. I couldn't figure out how how he did it. Now I know. He wasn't lazy, he was always employed; was a good dresser; he was always involved in some kind of project to help others; he had a great sense of humor; he wasn't a genius but he was smart; he was humble and was always looking for ways to better himself.

Just be your best self and let them come to you. If you make yourself attractive, believe me they'll come.
 
ForgivenAndRedeemed

ForgivenAndRedeemed

New member
#17
Jun 7, 2023
22
11
3
#17
ResidentAlien said:
Forget about what you looked like 8 years ago; this is now. Concentrate on your good qualities. You don't want a woman who is only after external appearances anyway. A good woman who will be loyal is looking for more than the superficial. You want one who will appreciate you for you. Just look around at all the bald or balding guys who have nice, attractive women on their arms.

I used to know a balding guy who was with a different woman every time I saw him; and they were nice looking women too. He was frail and not that great looking really. I couldn't figure out how how he did it. Now I know. He wasn't lazy, he was always employed; was a good dresser; he was always involved in some kind of project to help others; he had a great sense of humor; he wasn't a genius but he was smart; he was humble and was always looking for ways to better himself.

Just be your best self and let them come to you. If you make yourself attractive, believe me they'll come.
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'Cause every girl crazy 'bout a sharp-dressed man 🎶 😅
 
ResidentAlien

ResidentAlien

Well-known member
#18
Apr 21, 2021
8,101
3,497
113
#18
ForgivenAndRedeemed said:
'Cause every girl crazy 'bout a sharp-dressed man
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lol, not necessarily. Most women do size a guy up by the way he dresses though. If you wear expensive suits and flashy jewelry all you'll attract are gold diggers. Just wear clothes you're comfortable in and make you look like an adult, not a teenager or a hobo.
 
ForgivenAndRedeemed

ForgivenAndRedeemed

New member
#19
Jun 7, 2023
22
11
3
#19
TabinRivCA said:
Not at all. As far as balding goes all these men are considered attractive, Stan Tucci, Ben Kingsley, Billy Joel, and on & on. How someone sees themselves is what makes or breaks someone's appeal. I see men and women who may not rate as beautiful, but they are confident and secure in who they are and that is attractive. I'm sure Kate Middleton thinks her hubby Prince William is handsome and he carries himself well. If you look at who famous actors/actresses are married to it's usually not a 'hot' number but a down to earth type. We shouldn't go by fleshly standards anyway but Holy Spirit approved persons. Yes, there's hope, lol, be confident, 'as a man thinks in is heart so is he' Prov 23:7.
Click to expand...
If I was a price like William, I wouldn’t need to look good. 😅
 
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