Conflicted & Seeking Guidance

[Aephus]

So, one of my co-workers is transgender (M to F), and recently at work his name officially was changed to his preferred female name. I've thought about it and have two perspectives:

1) People change their names, it's a normal thing. Calling him by his preferred name isn't a big deal.

2) The name he's preferring to be called by now is to match how he is identifying as a female. Me calling him by this name would be harmful, even though from his perspective it'd be affirming and accepting.

If you were in my shoes, how would you handle the situation and why?

 

[Mem]

from his perspective

If we cannot force our own perspective onto others, then why has it become acceptable to allow others' perspectives onto ourselves?
Perhaps you can present this as your inability to adjust who he used to be/is as easily as it is with a prescription and a scalpel, and something as drastic as a lobotomy would have to be done but you just can't consent to that because you would lose yourself in that process. And if it's okay that your person is acceptable without changing the core of who you are... then are they truly any kind of friend to you? But I see this is only a co-worker that you are considering undergoing a lobotomy for?

 

[Eli1]

So, one of my co-workers is transgender (M to F), and recently at work his name officially was changed to his preferred female name. I've thought about it and have two perspectives:

1) People change their names, it's a normal thing. Calling him by his preferred name isn't a big deal.

2) The name he's preferring to be called by now is to match how he is identifying as a female. Me calling him by this name would be harmful, even though from his perspective it'd be affirming and accepting.

If you were in my shoes, how would you handle the situation and why?

I have this exact thing happen at my job, a man transitioned into an ugly man with a dress and a lipstick. I used to help him before with computer issues.
I don't call him a "she" but i do help him with computer issues still and he also doesn't get upset with me addressing him as a man.

The point of this name thing is larger than someone calling someone else by a nickname for short. When we were kids nobody called me with my full name, they used a shorter version.
The point of this whole transgender thing is political which is tied to an agenda which is also tied to mental health which is also tied to speech restrictions.
So no, i don't call him a "she".

 

[Lynx]

So, one of my co-workers is transgender (M to F), and recently at work his name officially was changed to his preferred female name. I've thought about it and have two perspectives:

1) People change their names, it's a normal thing. Calling him by his preferred name isn't a big deal.

2) The name he's preferring to be called by now is to match how he is identifying as a female. Me calling him by this name would be harmful, even though from his perspective it'd be affirming and accepting.

If you were in my shoes, how would you handle the situation and why?

It depends a lot on where you live. If you live in Florida your solution would be much different than if you live in California.

 

[Magenta]

If you were in my shoes, how would you handle the situation and why?

Are you against calling him by his new chosen name? It doesn't sound like you are. You said, no big deal. Conversely:
Can you call him something like "buddy"? Hey, thanks Bud. No problem, Bud. If asked you could explain it is a term
of endearment because you wish to remain on friendly terms with him without violating your own code of ethics.
That is, if calling him by his new name violates your code of ethics.

 

[Subhumanoidal]

So, one of my co-workers is transgender (M to F), and recently at work his name officially was changed to his preferred female name. I've thought about it and have two perspectives:

1) People change their names, it's a normal thing. Calling him by his preferred name isn't a big deal.

2) The name he's preferring to be called by now is to match how he is identifying as a female. Me calling him by this name would be harmful, even though from his perspective it'd be affirming and accepting.

If you were in my shoes, how would you handle the situation and why?

You could consider just being honest with him. Tell him you aren't comfortable calling him by his new name and ask if there's a nickname you can use instead. Maybe suggest one you'd be comfort with in asking.
Being on a job site makes this a tricky issue to deal with. You don't want to compromise your own principles, but don't want to risk starting lots of drama with him (as many do over being "mislabeled"), nor risk any repercussions at your job, unless you're willing to risk losing it over this. Which is, unfortunately a very real risk in this day and age.
Hopefully he'll respect your honesty yet also respect that you offered to find a work around. These people may have mental issues, but they are still people. Lost people. And maintaining your witness is also important. Both to him and the rest of your workplace.
This could be your chance to sway opinions of Christians, or at least some, away from being labeled transphobic.
Remember, at the end of the day these are people that Jesus still died for and God's grace can extend to, if they're given the chance to find out and accept it, just like you were.
Stand your ground but remember the grace you were given as a sinner.