Testimony

[ForgiveMeGod]

I was born in a very wealthy family thanks to my grandfather, my dad was adopted so my grandpa didn’t know what was in store for him. During the first years of my life, my parents were very abusive. They were addicted to alcohol and all kinds of drugs, even though we lived in absolute nonstop wealth that was being drained by their life style. They would have parties at home, they would go to rock concerts and every weekend and leave me at home with grandpa. I cried a lot. The neglect was nuts. One time I crawled onto the kitchen counter as a baby, grabbed a knife, crawled and stabbed myself, leaving a scar on my leg that I have today. Another time when I was a baby, I was drowning in our jacuzzi while no one was watching and my dad’s friend jumped in and saved me. Then my dad started beating up my mother a lot. The last time they fought when I was 5, my dad broke my mother’s head open while he was wearing multiple sharp rings on his fingers. There was one time my dad threw my mom out on the freeway because they were having an argument and we drove off without her. He used to punch holes in the walls in our house when he was upset. i started getting into a habit of slamming my head down on things and slamming books on my face, along with a nail biting habit that I have yet to this day to stop.


My dad went to jail for splitting my moms head open, my aunt picked up my mom, my sister and I and we grabbed everything we can and left, while my grandpa went to go bail my dad out.


We stayed at my aunts for a week, then to a woman’s shelter for a few months and through Christmas in Fullerton. During that woman shelter experience, my baby sitter French kissed me before I went to sleep. I was like 6 year old at the time. She was probably 16-18 years of age or older…


We end up moving to an apartment in Irvine. i discovered a neighbor girl that I got along with and we would play marriage. Her and I would also French kissed a lot. I was in second grade and she was in 3rd grade. We did a few other things with clothes on that I won’t get into.


i felt drawn to a woman in the park and she told me about Jesus. I felt a peace during that moment that I probably never felt around that time. That same month, I went to church and got baptized, even though I didn’t know what was going on.


My dad and mom get back together and we move into a house in Irvine, along with my grandpa. They split up again. I move with my mom and sister in Orange in an apartment.


My mom starts dating a meth dealer and she got a job as an exotic dancer.


We lose our apartment and are moving from motel to motel for years, while my moms stripping and my sister and I are going to school.


My mom gets a new boyfriend and we move into his small warehouse and live in a crack in the attic for about a year while I was in 6th grade, 12 years old.


His warehouse burns down, so my dad moves my mom, my sister and I into an apartment again and pays for our stay for a year. During that time, I start hanging out with the neighbor kids, including older teenagers. With the kids my age and older, we would play all kinds of fun sport games together, we also played spin the bottle and the older teenagers convinced me to smoke marijuana, even though I never ever wanted to do that. My sisters older friend bought me an x rated movie and so that is when that happened.


In that apartment complex was a woman named Robin Bowers, who asked all of us kids to come to her apartment for a Bible study. She was an ex heroine addict and just recently got separated from her kids because of her addiction. She brought us on a camping trip, took us fishing and brought all of us to church that summer. I’ll never forget that. I even have her picture on my wall in my room right now from her celebration of life that I went to last year.


Anyway, 8-9th grade, my mom, sister and I move to my aunts house in Tustin, while I still go to school in Orange. I experience the most demonic movie I saw up until then, The Ring, and I had to sleep in my sisters bed for a week.


Right before tenth grade, my sister moves to my dad’s and,I stay with my mom. My mom starts using meth again and we move into the one guys house for a day. He starts asking me questions while my mom is gone. He asked me if I’ve ever had sex before. I said no and he said I should try it and that I’d really like it. He ended up calling some lady over that he knew that would have sex with me and when she got there, I ran to the bedroom we were staying in and hid under the covers because I was so afraid.


My mom moves us to a motel and that is when I decided that I didn’t want to live that life anymore. I told my friend Chris at school that I was going to sleep at school that night because I’m not going to live with my mother anymore. He invited me to his house that day. It was his dad’s birthday. Little did I know but they were a practicing Christian family. They took me in, got a bunk bed for my friend and i to sleep on and I live with them for a few years. His dad was previously a pastor and he ask God a question at the flip of a coin, if he was going to go overseas to do mission work or become a business man. He end up becoming a business man.


He owned and ran a carpet cleaning business, while the mother brought all of us to church every Sunday and Wednesday. But the darkness was not over…


While at church, some of the girls there would lead me behind the dumpster where the pastor wasn’t looking and suggest sexual favors, while the other girls watched. Luckily, the pastor called us in time and nothing happened.


We went to Christian camp in the mountains and had Bible studies every week. After a while I stopped going to the Sunday services and

Continued in next post…

 

[ForgiveMeGod]

only went to the Wednesday Bible studies because during my weekends, I started hanging out with the popular crowd and started partying and playing video games every weekend. i was one of those once a week Christians that don’t practice daily but go to church just cause it was something your family did.


Eventually I got a girlfriend who found me on MySpace who was friends with my sister. The first date we saw the movie, Mr. And Mrs. Smith in the theaters and we French kissed the whole time. i was a junior in high school, going on senior year, so summer time. We would go to parties and eventually stopped but now, instead of parties, we started getting intimate and i lost my virginity to her. She said she was a virgin but looking back, I don’t believe it.


When senior year happened, she was going to a continuation school and I was at my high school. Her friend at my school told me she was seeing someone else, even kissing him, I believed it and broke up with her. She was all I thought about. My grades plummeted big time, my God family told me that I should move back in with my mother and then, the next semester I got sent to the same continuation school as her, except she already left to go back to her original high school.


i was in a school filled with kids in gangs and pregnant teenagers. I felt like my life was over. I stopped caring about what I did and I lived my life to my hearts desire, going from one woman to the next without any consequences, so I thought. I would party on the weekends with my original high school friends and I even made friends with a few guys and a girl at that continuation school.


Once I graduated, I moved in with a different baby sitter from childhood, who wanted a male there to protect her home from her ex husband in Ladera Ranch. So I stayed with her for the rest of that year, got my first job at TOGO’s sandwiches as a Cashier, while I still partied and slept around with different women.


The next year, I felt invincible. Same things going on, every woman that I was with had parents with multi million dollar houses.


The more that time went on, my life became emptier and emptier. Eventually I stayed at my friends aunts condo for a year and during that time, I felt miserable but I was still doing the same things, in a depressed state. I started going to raves and taking ecstasy tablets, sneaking the drugs in, finding dealers with the purest product, until one day, I saw a Bible laying on the couch. I don’t know where it came from and I don’t think I brought it there but it looked like my Bible from when I lived with my God parents. I felt drawn to it. I picked it up, laid on the couch and started reading from the beginning. Over the next few days, I read most of Genesis. I then knew what I was doing this whole time wasn’t right. I put the Bible down and just went on with my life, as if I didn’t learn anything.


Later on that year, after a semester of college and exercising that whole year, I get a girlfriend. Little did I know, she was a meth addict and she would stalk me and wait till I got to my new place in Fullerton. She would come over and we would full around.


In August 2010, that same year, college is starting up again and I overloaded myself with courses, like 16 units. I was trying to figure out how I was going to make rent, so I thought if I got financial aid, I can pay for school and my rent. How foolish that was.


The week I started school, I felt really strange. In my painting class, I was writing notes and it’s like my spirit left my body. I started writing down the page drastically as if I couldn’t write from left to right anymore. I told my teacher i had to leave.


As I was walking down the street, I felt like people were looking at me while they were driving, which cause a few accidents right next to me. I walked to where I was living which was like a few blocks away. I went inside to grab some things and I left. As I was walking out, my roommate asked with I was going to pay rent and I just kept walking. My mind was lost.


My grandma called me and I told her a lot of strange things are happening and she told me to call out Jesus name and that the evil will flee. I didn’t do that, cause I thought she meant evil people.


i hopped on a bus, where I felt like I was being watched. A guy starred at me and gave me an evil grin, as if he knew, what I was going through.


i got off the bus and walked to my aunts house, where my mom was staying. I told her that I was having some problems but I didn’t know what they were.


i laid down, next to my then baby brother and watched James and the giant peach. I felt like an infant with him.


That night, I try going to sleep. There is a lot of pressure in my mind at the time and then I feel it collapsing on itself.


i go downstairs and I look at myself in the mirror and I look like a demon.


i get scared and I called the suicide hotline cause I don’t know what is going on. I describe to them what is happening and they said they have never heard that before and that they don’t know how to help me.


i hang up the phone.


i noticed that the TV flickered on and then turned off, with no one using the remote. I thought that something really bad was happening and I had no clue why all of this was happening.


i tried sleeping but the next morning I get up and I ask my aunt if she can take me to the hospital.


She denies my request and selfishly is busy with her boyfriend at the time, who was a drug dealer that she met, while she was an exotic dancer.


I begin to write Jesus’ name repeatedly on a napkin.


At this point, I can’t even eat. I was basically dying and whatever demon in me was making it so I wouldn’t eat anymore.


My mom calls my friends aunt and we walk to Taco Bell down the street, where I might eat and so she can meat us there.


My mom puts a red hat on me and gave me a red blanket to wrap around me. This was odd.


While walking to Taco Bell, I thought I was a leader in the devils army.


My friend’s aunt picks me up and we head to the hospital.


Before I get in, she gives me sunglasses to wear and tells me not to say anything.


We go in and tells them I need a mental evaluation. She tells them that I’m 51-50, which means insane.


We wait in the waiting room and I thought God or Satan enter my mind and tell me that I had to read the Bible all the way through to get to heaven.


I felt whatever demonic spirit that was in me, trying to control my thought. I tried going to use the restroom and couldn’t.

Continued on the next post…

 

[ForgiveMeGod]

A man in the waiting room had some type of heart attack, while on a stretcher, so they rushed him into the emergency room.


They put me in a hospital room, on a bed. I laid back and then I thought to myself that if I try and give myself a heart attack, that I’ll die and go to heaven.


So I start banging my head on the back of the bed and breathing really deeply to try and kill myself.


The doctors rush in, strap me to the bed, inject me with something and I’m out.


Some time in the near future, I snap out of my black out and I’m having breakfast with a few other patients.


Some doctors and nurses come up to me to give me some medication, and I deny their request. They insisted I take it, even trying to force it in my mouth.


I threw all of them to the ground.


The injected me again and strapped me to a bed.


This time, I wake up in what I thought was hell. I was in a mental institution laying on a blue bed. All of the other beds were red.


i went up to the male nurse that was there that was protected by bulletproof glass. I dont remember what I said or what he said but he told me to take my medication and I did.


My God father, God brother, mother and girlfriend at the time came to visit the next day but I thought they were demons sent from satan to pretend to be my loved ones.


The mental facility transferred me to another room, next to the padded bedroom, where I lady was in there screaming beating the walls with her fists.


A few days went by. My dad called the pay phone that was in there and I listened to him and told him I wouldn’t be in there if it wasn’t for him And I hung up the phone.


They moved me to another facility next door in good behavior.


A black woman gave me a Bible to read and it seemed like she was an angel.


My God father came back with my God brother and they removed me from there.


They brought me to their house, gave me a Bible, told me to start in the New Testament, stop right at revelation, read the Old Testament all the way through and finish with revelation.


i surprisingly went back to college that next week and finished my painting class, and got a job as a dog handler. They also gave me their astro van.


Even though that happened, the darkness was not over.


I started going to my friends house and smoking marijuana, then about 6 months after that, my old friends from high school get a 9 bedroom house in Villa Park and we all move into together.


I’m now working, I have a car, I get a girlfriend but I’m still not saved.


Start partying again. My girlfriend and I are told that they are going to sell that house and so we move out.


We ended up living with her parents in Villa Park, still not married.


During that time, we went to a party at my friends house and an old friend gave me spice to smoke in front of my girlfriend. I smoke it and feel like I’m back in hell again. I look at everyone there and they look like they are demon possessed.


i call out Jesus name for the first time repeatedly.


20-30 minutes later, my God father and God brother snap me out of it and pick me up and drop me off at my girlfriends parents house. She gets home and I’ve never felt more empty.


We start going to church and I get convicted that having sex before marriage is not right.


She breaks up with me and I am heartbroKen. i bought her a promise ring and we were planning our wedding.


A week goes by, we get back together. I talk to my God brother and he tells me to ask her if she believes in Jesus and if she doesn’t to leave.


I go to her parents house where she was at, ask her if she believes in Jesus, she says no and I leave, heart shattered.


I get a job at Olive Garden and I am sleeping in my van in front of my God parents house cause they won’t let me stay there.


6 months as a host, I become a server and as a server, I start serving people. Going out of my way to start helping people.


I move into a house with one friend, get a second job as car parts and pharmacy van delivery driver.


My van breaks down, so I am taking the bus everywhere.


i move to an apartment room in Anaheim hills, with a woman who lives there with her two kids.


I start an eBay business selling used clothes. I teach her how to create and run an eBay business. She is very thankful.


Then I start reading the New Testament, along with a bunch of self help books.


I move to another apartment and a guy named Sammy from Olive Garden invites me to his church.


My friend Josh convinces me to say the sinners prayer. So I go into my room alone, look up the sinners prayer, read it, say it out loud, ask Jesus to come into my life and devote my life to him, in April 2014.


That same month, I quit drinking, doing drugs, partying, sex. A few months later I get fired from Olive Garden, my great grandmother passes away and I buy my first car that I purchased, my mom inherits my great grandmothers house, my mom is clean from drugs and we all move in together.


There has been so much that has happened in the past ten years since I have been born again but Jesus radically transformed my life.


i’m kinda Luke warm at the moment but I know that Jesus is everything and he’ll always be with me working on me.


God has his hand and protection over me this whole time and I am forever thankful.

 

[jacko]

My brother, that’s a lot to unpack there, and I’m not sure how to respond but hang around this site, I’m sure it will be good for you.
Keep praying and I will pray for you as well.

 

[ForgiveMeGod]

My brother, that’s a lot to unpack there, and I’m not sure how to respond but hang around this site, I’m sure it will be good for you.
Keep praying and I will pray for you as well.

Thank you, Jacko. So far, this site has been a God send. I’ve never had community like this. Been praying for community for a long time. I thought I would find it at church, had bits of community there but nothing like this.

 

[ForgiveMeGod]

Thank you, Jacko. So far, this site has been a God send. I’ve never had community like this. Been praying for community for a long time. I thought I would find it at church, had bits of community there but nothing like this.

I’ll make an effort to pray more, even when I don’t feel like it.

 

[jacko]

So whatever happened with your rich grandpa did he just bail on you guys?
What happened to all his money?


Proverbs 13:22 - “A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children, but the sinner’s wealth is laid up for the righteous.”

 

[ForgiveMeGod]

So whatever happened with your rich grandpa did he just bail on you guys?
What happened to all his money?


Proverbs 13:22 - “A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children, but the sinner’s wealth is laid up for the righteous.”

He ended up passing away in 2007. He owned multiple golf courses around California, a limousine business, he was a contractor, he was married to Marylin Monroe’s best friend who was also in movies and was a trick shot golfer, Jeanie Carmen and when I was born, we lived in a house with an indoor pool, that today is evaluated at $16m. When he retired, all seemed to care about was his grandchildren, my sister and I. He watched TV every day until he ended up dying.

i don’t know what happened to everything. Everything seemed hidden from me and nobody talks about it except for my mom. I didn’t receive a dime.

 

[jacko]

He ended up passing away in 2007. He owned multiple golf courses around California, a limousine business, he was a contractor, he was married to Marylin Monroe’s best friend who was also in movies and was a trick shot golfer, Jeanie Carmen and when I was born, we lived in a house with an indoor pool, that today is evaluated at $16m. When he retired, all seemed to care about was his grandchildren, my sister and I. He watched TV every day until he ended up dying.

i don’t know what happened to everything. Everything seemed hidden from me and nobody talks about it except for my mom. I didn’t receive a dime.

Sucks bro…

 

[ForgiveMeGod]

Sucks bro…

After one of most exciting years of my life, him dying was a major blow.
After he passed, all the power I had, the status, just completely turned into dust. I was never the same person, even though I spent the next 7 years trying to be that same person but it was like a fig leaf that shriveled up and died, never to grow back again.

 

[enril]

Jesus is the light of life.
truly.